Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs On My Own Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

The Stream

Well you know… I watch the way that you flow.
Moving around in a circle to pull at your beard
with the moon in her light.

Then you sit. Pull out a new cigarette.
Fire in your hand then you stand and you say that the
time got away so good night.

Then you go. Why?
I want to crumple by your side.
Follow you down to the stream where you go
when you go to just be there alone.
Are we home?

Through a screen…. lost in your own world of green.
I want to know what you mean when you say that you can’t
find a way to pull through.

Turn your eyes. So you won’t look at one little lie?
Running away like the words that I say were the
problem and nothing’s on you.

Then you go. Why?
I want to crumple by your side.
Follow you down to the stream where you go
when you go just to be there alone.
Are we home?

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

My Question

One thing I think about a lot is how to combat various influences in your life.

Some transits, for example, will bring in a lot of dark energy. Others aggressive red energy. Others uplifting delusions that lead to your doom. What is the best way of handling this?

In theory, you could harness this energy for a successful outcome. Use the red energy to become a fireman. The dark energy to become a detective. But what about when the energy is coming from outside sources…. someone is screaming at you, someone is trying to murder you? Will becoming a fireman really help?

Let’s say for example, you are having a Mars transit causing clash and conflict in relationships. In my experience, if you try to become more assertive at this time it will blow up in your face. You are cranking up the heat on a situation that is already too hot.

Same as trying to become more spiritual under a Neptune influence. You are already too deluded. If you try to become more spiritual you just end up in white robes with a dick in your mouth. You could even go insane.

I’ve experienced this a lot with dark Pluto transits. I’ll tell myself maybe Pluto is fucking with me because I’m not black enough. This line of thought stems from when I lived in New England. They really hated fire there and yet their houses were always burning down. So I assumed fire was getting revenge on them for not embracing it. But maybe I was wrong & the houses were just burning due to being hundreds of years old or people needing insurance money.

But regardless, this led me to try adding black energy when Pluto got too scary in the hopes this would pacify him. Which always led to disaster. Violence, injuries, being scapegoated & generally ass raped which is Pluto’s signature move. Things got scarier. No matter how much I liked the idea in theory it didn’t work in practice.

Applying opposite energies seems to work better. You can cut down on anger & aggression during Mars transits if you stick to colors like blue and green, while avoiding red hots at all costs. But sometimes this gives me a little bit of FOMO. Sure, I am dodging a bullet but am I also missing a once in a lifetime chance to become a fireman?

I don’t know. Some people think air conditioning is an appropriate response to hot & humid summers while others think it is better to eat chile peppers & bake in the sun to acclimate yourself. Who is right & who is wrong? I worry about this every day.

But one thing is sure. In a crisis, when suffering from heat stroke, AC, shade & water are better than building a bonfire. At least until the immediate threat passes.

So perhaps when assaulted by darkness it is better to go to church & become a saint rather than buy a cauldron.

I’m not sure. I am currently being assaulted by darkness so I will try the “Become a Saint” approach & let you know how it goes. If you don’t hear from me again, you will know it didn’t go well.

Adding black was not the answer.
Adding black was not the answer.
But what is the answer?
Becoming a saint.
Categories
Charleston, West Virginia men Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire

Pain

First bring the needle out
Tighten up the tourniquet
And now you feel the waters flow
And now the whole world grows so wet

And now how blood is beautiful
Liquid ruby through your veins and
I will love you fire to fire
Desire. You make me feel pain.

Falling back again
With your eyes an inch a way
And somehow turn from day to night
Then somehow turn from night to day

And now you light your pipe again
And now you speak your words they’re never true
You feel the room spin round and round
Theres only me and you and now

How red is beautiful
Liquid ruby through my veins
And I, I feel the world dissolve resolve
You make me feel pain.

First bring the needle out
Slide it through my eye oh I oh I
How I could live for this
So high above the world I fly I fly

I’ll love you fire to fire
And I will love you flame to flame
And I oh will I marry you, I do
You make me feel pain.

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized

On High

This is a song I heard in a dream so those I usually just write down without judgment. It is different because at the time I was obsessively surrounding myself only with the colors white, yellow & gold in the hopes that they would protect me from black swirls. Did they? It is hard to say. The black storms still occurred but I got way more help from fb friends than I could have imagined (gold) and was able to learn new skills quicker than I thought possible (yellow.) So I didn’t control the whole universe, but it’s still something.


All the winds were blowing
And their thoughts were filling my mind
Everybody watching
Looking to the sky for a sign
Water started rolling
Changing everything that it touched
Filled our hearts with knowing
All the things that hurt us too much
On high on high on high
On high on high on high.

Caught up in the weakness
Thought it was chance I could take
Till I saw him coming
Then I knew I made a mistake.
But were there people watching?
All these thoughts were filling my mind
Could there be something starting
To bring us in a new wave of time?
On high on high on high
on high on high on high

Are there people watching?
Feel them there each time that you move
Reaching out for something
But somehow always missing the groove
Maybe there was something
Something that he couldn’t explain
Dipping in your fingers
And feeling just a little more pain.

Still the winds are blowing
Living in a world of their own
Once they get it rolling
Then we’ll see the reason to go
In me blue was flowing
All its voices filling my mind
Left me with the knowing
That there was something better to find
On high on high on high
On high on high on high.

In case you would like to donate a drop of money for music. I hope that in the future, when people think of me they will also think of money.
* * *

When I found myself suddenly alone with no income, selling my possessions became the obvious choice, especially since that would make things easier if I ended up on the streets. Luckily one of my obsessions is glass. I love its clear gelatinous nature & it happens to sell rather well on ebay which is a ray of hope. I assume my ebay identity is julienaklei…. not that I am necessarily encouraging anyone to go to my ebay store- it is just me selling everything I own, not my crowning achievement per se.

A glass lady bug. I love vivid orange glass especially. So refreshing.
A “WV Day” piece from Blenko glass. These are limited edition & so sell for a lot of money.
A dog & a “pink ice” bottle.
A glass key chain with the letter W on it. For George W Bush.
A glass mushroom with a red cap.
Business cards. I figured I could also do astrology readings to support myself. I tuck one into the box of everything I sell on ebay.
Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire

Two Black Leaves

This is sort of a picture of Patton. I think if he were a human he would like sports.

You can leave if you want to but don’t look back I’m warning you-
You won’t like the way that things have changed.
Two black leaves will be my eyes, the winds will roll, the water rise-
All the things that time can rearrange.

If you go. These are the things you should know.
Backwards the water will flow.
Eyes in skull. Bouncing ball.

You were mine. We lived in a house made of time.
The prayers and the sayings would rhyme.
Dream you feel. Not quite real.

In the end you were a man, you stood there on your own.
Always smiling like a friend yet somehow quite alone.

You can leave if you want to but don’t look back I’m warning you-
You won’t like the way that things have changed.
Two black leaves will be my eyes, the winds will roll, the water rise-
All the things that time can rearrange.

If you see a picture that holds you and me,
A pitcher of pure family.
Dark things hide. Stay inside.

But the flame. He lived in a cage with no name.
The day he was born he was blamed.
Bouncing ball. Animal.

In the end, he was a fire he stood there on his own.
Worlds would disappear inside him
Who knows where they go?

You can leave if you want to but don’t look back I’m warning you-
You won’t like the way that things have changed.
Two black leaves will be my eyes, the winds will roll, the water rise-
All the things that time can rearrange.

Would you care to donate a dime or one dollar? All mini contributions are very welcome!


Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Only Blue

First the sound of laughing.
Life is all around. I lie.
Close my eyes again and I
Feel it falling down. I fly.

I can see behind me.
I see you.
I remember then when you
Were my only blue.

All the waves come crashing
To my mind that’s how it goes.
I was stationed like a pool.
You were free to go.

Falling down into me
Now I can’t explain why I’m
Reaching out to touch your face
Touch me back and then I fly.

Hover in the air to watch you there.
You were getting bored the more that I tried.
And my arms blew all around you like a storm and nothing more.
You stayed inside.

Raining down again I try
To remember all you said.
But the pieces never fit
Piling up inside my head.

Close my eyes again and I
I see you.
Take me back again to when
You’re my only blue.

Would you care to donate a dime or one dollar? All mini contributions are greatly appreciated.

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

The Group Mind

I feel like the group mind is my retarded little brother. He’s so SSSSLLLLLOOOWWWW. A fire breaks out and four years later he shows up with his extinguisher. But now storm clouds are approaching. Hey Retard- LOOK! Do you see that?!?

No, he doesn’t. He’s too busy rolling around on the floor, whacking off to the idea of himself as a fireman.

He’s never any help in the moment. But once the battle is over you can bet he’ll show up on the field to take selfies, then whack off to the idea of himself as a soldier.

Like now, what are people talking about? They are still responding to concepts like ‘toxic masculinity’ ‘believe all women.’ They are still calling people snowflakes. All moments that have passed! (I am making strangling movements with my hands while thinking about this cause it frustrates me so much.) Meanwhile they ignore the threats which are clear and present.

Snowflakes. I got called a snowflake today for the fact that- personally- I find the Heard trial triggering. I find it triggering that she owes 10 million for an op-ed. I find it triggering that people are treating her like a piece of shit when- for all they know- she actually was abused.

Really I should take it as a compliment because I do plan to be a snowflake in years to come. Snowflakes are exactly what we’ll need in the fiery, insensitive days that lie ahead. I claim a right to my own feelings and a right to express them regardless of whether or not they are the feelings someone else believes I should have.

The snowflake phenomenon was only in play during the latter half of the 2010s decade when Neptune was in the second decan of Pisces, which turns people into whiny entitled babies. The problem with those snowflakes is they weren’t real snowflakes. They were bullies in snowflake disguise. Neptune represents what people try to *appear* to be, what they see as ideal, not necessarily what they are.

So the problem with snowflakes circa 2019 is they weren’t really sensitive, they just used concepts like empathy and sensitivity as an excuse to bully others. I guess the overly self-indulgent attitude was a problem as well. Micro-traumas demanded staying home from work to binge watch tv while wearing face masks. But you can guarantee that will be ending soon.

Likewise, the anti-male sentiment people are now reacting too is also in the rearview mirror. It has been for a while. In the past couple years, women have been the main target under group mind attack. Karens. Amy Cooper. Ashli Babbitt. Men in women’s sports and restrooms. Men debating whether or not women have the right to live if it would require an abortion. People saying dumb shit like female on male violence is a serious problem as the Taliban forces women back into their homes. Please don’t hurt me retarded brother. I know the words of 2019 are still ringing in your ears. But I’m not attempting to mount men and force them into eternal submission. Just saying what appears to be true. Men need to finish licking paper cuts which are four years old and move into the current moment. It’s embarrassing.

So what’s coming up? Fire. Aggression. Anger. Athletes. Soldiers. Action. No more laziness. No more philosophical discussions. Dogs. We will all become dogs. But hard dogs, street dogs, dogs that have no owners to soften them.

So I am preparing for my usual position of opposing the group mind as it moves around the zodiac. I plan to become more sensitive. Start taking bubble baths. Float around in them for hours while drooling on myself as tears pour from my eyes.




In case you would like to read more about this from an astrology perspective…

The Future: Neptune in Aries
The Present/Recent Past: Neptune in Pisces
More on Neptune in Pisces

I have to say though- sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night panicking, because in all these years Neptune has been travelling through Pisces I have done nothing but talk smack about it. The truth is Pisces has a lot to offer but every time I try to write something positive about it I suddenly become too lazy to move. So I don’t know what to do about it.

Good things have come from these years though. Things I am only now beginning to appreciate as our Pisces time is drawing to a close. I just saw the movie Top Gun- which I feel accurately captures the values & perspective of Neptune in Aries. I am afraid I won’t cut it in this vigorous new world.

(Hi- this is Julien from the future dropping in to tell you I just wrote a post explaining one of the gifts- sacrifice- that can be gained from Neptune’s transit through Pisces.)

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Music & Songs

Clay where you were born

In my mind you walk beside me in the sun
Standing like a fire between myself and everyone.
Hold me in your arms I feel the yellow falling down.
You are my ground.

Brown. Orange. Packed. Worn.
Product of the clay where you were born.

Then one day you push me and I‘m falling back.
Rolling over, over down into the black.
Open up my eyes to find a world of liquid blue.
Where are you?
There’s no ground.

Spinning now. Spinning around.
Grasping for whatever seems to be the ground.
Unknown. Scorned.
Tossed away from clay you were born.

One day I will find my way to solid shore.
Fingers sinking into mud scared no more
Sinking into earth is where the body can renew.
My earth is you.

Strong. Sad. Sometimes crazy sometimes mad.
Fighting one day overcome and soar
Far away from clay where you were born.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Minerals, Mountains, Crystals, Ice, and White Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

The Station

To breath somehow
When the wave come falling down

To breath, to see
All the things I never wanted to be

Crystals in my eyes I rub them
Oh my god somehow
I will follow when you lead me down.

But there’s a man out by the station
Like a shadow in my mind
And I reach for him but the voices tell me
This is not my time

To belong.
Wish there was someone I could love.

To hear, to know
To close your eyes and feel the flow

Of the truth, of the lies
To know the real from the disguise

Clouds inside my head I touch them
Oh my god somehow
I will follow where you lead me now.

But there’s a man our by the station
Like a feeling in my brain
I would reach for him but the voices said
It would only lead to pain

And to fall.
Wish there was someone I could love.

To know the way to learn the truth
To feel, to see and never more to be decieved.

But there’s a man out by the station
Like a cube inside my mind
If we play then odds then we can be certain
He will not be kind

Soldier on.
Wish there was someone I could love.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Blue Sky

Feel life upon you like a wave
The men will come but they won’t stay
No one knows where they’re going.

So much like you- you once were here
Step into blue then disappear
I don’t know why.

Try not to move, try not to cry
Hold onto glass but never break it.

The thing is this was never real
You confuse life with what you feel
I don’t know why.

You sigh it’s just the world you know
The men will come the men will go
No one knows why.

But pain remains that can’t be hid
The hand that cut you as a kid
Blue blue sky.

Your heart it stretches out like glue
Existing so outside of you
No one knows why.

You thought you had a friend- you don’t
You thought he’d help you but he won’t
Blue blue sky.