Fly Away

Fly away in a little bit
Fly away in a cloud of strings
Like the sun on an icicle
You found your pair of wings.

When the time wasn’t over yet
When the time was ready to begin
When my heart was red lying in a box
Waiting for the sticking pin.

There you go, I know your eyes
Fire like a flash of pain
Feel it burn, feel it end
What is the name of this thing that remains?

Fly away in a little bit
Fly away in a cloud of strings
Like the sun on an icicle
You found your pair of wings.

There you go, the hand that wears the glove of velvet red
Like a woman, like a child, is the man afraid of his own death
Like a woman, like a child- the man who will never fight
Flickering beneath the sky and dying that same night.

Fly away in a little bit
Fly away in a cloud of strings
Like the sun on an icicle
You found your pair of wings.

There you go, the man I know whose legs are far too thin
Find the box and open it to push your stick pin in
Fire I know, death I know, I also know your eyes
Like a woman, like a child- the man who never lies.

Fly away in a little bit
Fly away in a cloud of strings
Like the sun on an icicle
You found your pair of wings.

Download Mp3:  Fly Away

Park Man

You could be my dark man
Stranger in the park man
Standing in your trench coat flashing
Stars above but somethings crashing down

You could be my shady friend
Standing where the street lights end
Shadows fall always behind you
No one seeks and no one finds you now

Clouds stretch so far away
Endless worlds of endless grey
Walk before me and I’l follow you
This road leads us to tomorrow, true?

Clouds takes shape but they always lie
We’ll get bored but we’ll never die
Lay your hand upon my head now
Lead me through the fog and dread now

You could be my shadow man
To offer me your white bread hand
Shelling peanuts with your finger
A dusty feeling I remember now

Life can be so many things
Sometimes swirling like a dream
Sometimes flat I’m trapped inside it
Close my eyes but they won’t hide it

Half alive but that’s okay
The other half is filled with gray
Eyes are reaching through the fog and lace
From another world I can almost place

You could be my answer man
A book to dull to understand
A slice of bread upon my plate
The rusty and forgotten gate to now.

 

Download Mp3: Park Man

The Green

So many times already that I thought my heart would die
Nobody here to hold me & I’m gazing on the sky
So far from home. So far away.
I wanted something I could own. I wanted something that would stay.

You stretched yourself around me like a field that never ends
People smiled & laughed but I knew they were not my friends
Just like an ache. God help me to smile.
Or go ahead and break me & just make me cry.

You bring the green.
You bring the green.
You bring the green.

A river flows around you & it carries things away
A sun that circles round you but it won’t just end the day
Reaching out your hand to touch some stupid things.
Nothing to hold you so you grow some stupid wings.

You bring the green.
You bring the green.
You bring the green.

A little creek contains a little girl
Glass falls like snow on another little world

You bring the green.
You bring the green.
You bring the green.

 

The Green MP3:  Green

Tolerance is Natural, Respect is Too Much

In recent years, I feel like I have been constantly defending conservatives from unjust attacks, like the idea that they are ignorant, racist people who hate science and don’t care about children being murdered etc. I kept wondering where all this hatred for conservatives was coming from, and was close to concluding that conservatives are actually just better, more open minded people than liberals are.

However, after coming out of the closet as an astrologer, I began to notice dark red beams being sent my way by the religious in response to astrology posts I would make. They would never say anything to me directly, but on the psychic level it was clear that to *some* of them, I was engaged in something questionable.

And this got me to wondering if, perhaps, the hatred for conservatives in general could be rooted in an unacknowledged hatred for the religious, brought about by the fact that religious people can actually be quite judgmental,  even when they don’t express these judgments openly.

Many religions seem to function, in part, as a vehicle through which people can detach themselves from troublesome reptilian feelings, which are then projected onto the people around them causing those people to seem dirty, bad, unholy etc. God hates how bad these people are, and one day he will return to murder them. Especially in the more fundamental religions, the pain that is projected often stems from sexual & physical abuses or some form of shame. Harsh judgments (rendered by God, of course) become the vehicle through which this pain can be projected outwards onto other humans.

And it has long been a part of our culture that we must ‘respect’ religion, even if we are not taking part in it, and even when- and here lies the core of the problem- it does not respect us. Although respecting religion sounds lofty, I think the “high road” approach to life is generally a failure, because it is out of touch with emotional realities.

Respect is meant to be reciprocal- if someone looks down on us, whether due to religion or other factors, we are not supposed to respect them in return. Disrespecting those (at least privately) who disrespect you is part of a natural psychic immune system, which tells our mind not to value the opinions of those who do not value us. This maintains our integrity and keeps our emotional boundaries intact.

To be clear, I’m not saying we should oppress religion or try to punish those who think we are bad. That would be going too far. At the end of the day, someone believing you are going to hell is not a very big deal, and in all other ways this person may be a good friend. And yet, their belief system still does represent a *tiny* attack on you- an itty bitty paper cut which should be treated lest it turn into something worse.

And the only treatment necessary is just allowing yourself to have a natural response to their beliefs- the response of liking and respecting them just a little less because of their inability to respect you. Simple, harmless, and the world stays in balance.

If we were allowed to have a natural dislike for religions that look down on us, the results would be

  1. Religions themselves would be improved and forced to clean up their act, since they would no longer be on a form of psychic welfare where they are allowed to collect respect they haven’t earned.
  2. Religious wounds would not fester on the unconscious level and be allowed to turn into something truly nasty, such as irrational anger and hatred for anyone who reminds us of the original wounders.

In essence, the ability for society to tolerate religion in a healthy and sustainable manner, depends on our ability to not give them automatic and unnatural respect.

 

 

Rainbow Bottle

A song about a pedophile who meets a man wearing a red t-shirt and jeans. The man with the red t-shirt and jeans also wears a crown. Sometimes I wonder if this man is Jesus, but I don’t know. It is definitely possible that nowadays Jesus wears a t-shirt and jeans rather than appearing to people in robes. On the other hand, there may be a large number of humanoid beings who interface with us on a divine level.  I don’t know.

As to why this song is about a pedophile, rather than a beautiful sunset shared with friends, read here.

Trees and birds, sky of blue
Flying high- I saw him fly too.

With a crown placed upon him like the sun
And it shined- I had to cover up my eyes
Does he know? Has he seen the things I’ve done?

Clutching to a bottle
It was filled with something purple
I could not control the thoughts that
Danced like monkeys in my head.

Then a man approached me
There was blood upon his fingers and
He led me to a doorway where
He pointed to a bed.

But now you’re here. You stand beside me like a brother
In your red t-shirt and jeans.
But your crown shines so brightly that it’s burning up my eyes…
Have you seen the things I’ve seen?

Were you at the at the orgy
It was filled with naked children
They were dancing in a circle
Just like monkeys in a cave

Looking at my hands again
I can’t stop them from shaking
I don’t want to close my eyes and see
The shadow of a grave.

Were you there when I drank the rainbow bottle?
Did you watch me drag my feet across the floor?
Could you see the drugs were swirling up my mind?
It wasn’t me, the man who opened up that door.

You put your arm around me now
I’m squinting in the sunlight and
You lift the crown from your head and
You lay it onto mine.

Every little memory is coming back with clarity
Burning like an acid through the hollers of my mind.

And I’ll fall because i cannot stop from shaking
And I’ll clutch like a monkey at your knees
And I’ll burn because I know I was mistaken
And yet still I walked to touch the rainbow tree.

Fluffy clouds, sky of blue
Save this man- I am your son too.

 

Download Mp3: Rainbow Bottle

Ghouls and Thin Men

I mentioned a couple posts back that I was going to stop doing astrology readings in order to avoid being visited by people’s ‘ghosts.’ However, now that I have stopped, the ghost-thingies have not stopped coming. In fact, every interaction, even the briefest of facebook exchanges, is now accompanied by these emotion-filled transparencies. Luckily,  these are usually just colored blobs that surround (and sometimes overlap) my head, and not head to toe ‘possessions’ like I was experiencing before.

Still, especially when I am interacting with a decent number of people, these blobs can become quite unpleasant, not to mention confusing, especially while I am still in the early stages of learning what they mean. James insists that the more I embrace and understand them, the less bothersome these perceptions will become. Considering that I seem to have no choice in the matter, I just hope he is right.

I don’t think of myself as someone who sees ghosts (now I am using the word ‘ghost’ in the technical sense) because- praise the Lord- I do not see transparent people floating through old houses. I cannot even imagine how freaky that would be. However, I do see things invisible beings which attach themselves to humans and feed off their energy. Sometimes I call these things ghosts. There are two different types I am aware of (although this isn’t a subject I have yet given much though to, so I may have to amend my statements at a later date.)

1. Ghouls. Ghouls are blobular entities that connect to the bottom half of a person’s body where they feed off their sexual energy. The telltale sign of a ghoul is little droplets of blood coming off the corners of a person’s mouth. (That is how I perceive them anyway.) Ghouls seem to have the effect of giving a person an outsized desire for ‘red things,’ such as sex, power, & bloody, iron rich foods. There is a gruesome quality to ghouls which make me feel nauseated in their presence although their host may be an otherwise pleasant person. If you are interacting with an intelligent, clean and thoughtful person who still leaves you wanting to wretch you may be in the presence of a ghoul.

2. Thin Men. (I just made this name up for fun. I don’t know if there are official names for these things or not.)

Thin men also live off a person’s red energy, but unlike ghouls they do not drive their host to seek more and more blood. Instead,the thin man will encourage the host to stay focused on spirituality, leaving the bottom half of the body unguarded. This allows the thin man to move in and live for free off a person’s life energy. I believe thin men are actually male ancestors, while ghouls are non-human. The telltale sign of a thin man is an empty gray rectangle overlaying the bottom half of the body. Or in a more practical sense, there may be a noticeable absence or rich earthy energy and colors in a person’s life.

In fact, if you want to protect yourself from thin men (who are far more common than ghouls), it is a good idea to be a little hearty and peasant-like in your approach to life rather than jumping onto the white, spiritual zen aesthetic that is currently trending. Think twice before doing the recommended morning meditation of focusing on your breath, and consider taking that time to clip coupons or google topless pics of your favorite Hollywood hunk (if you are a woman, I mean). If you are a man, you can take it up a notch and try hunting or chopping wood. Identifying yourself with all that is practical, tangible and lusty will make you an unsuitable host for the thin man.

I will probably have more to say about attachments in the future. I have seen these sorts of things for a while, but was always trying to push them out of my mind  in an effort to avoid going insane. Now I am trying the opposite approach. Only time will tell which way is the wiser…

 

Mercury: Separate a person’s words from their character, or suffer the consequences!

One thing I have learned from reading people’s charts is the importance of Mercury, a planet I frequently overlook, since on the surface it seems so boring. Mercury rules communication and the intellect. Who cares?! People don’t get astrology readings to learn more about their writing style. But I have come to realize that if you DON’T take a person’s Mercury into account, you run the deadly risk of mistaking the way a person talks for who they actually are.

My Mercury, for example, is in the sign of Scorpio, which rules sex, death and everything gruesome. And it is true that I can hardly speak more than a couple sentences without bringing serial killers into the conversation. The more I try to control myself, the more the “Freudian slips” begin. Not to mention that I have three overlapping codes I write in which are constantly changing so the patterns won’t stay consistent. Do I have anything particularly secretive to write about? No. Because I never actually DO anything secretive. But even if I am writing a to do list, I might suddenly become paranoid about someone else being able to read it. Scorpio rules secrets.

Mercury also governs listening and attention. If someone tries to talk about Buddhism or saving the environment around me, I start to sink into a coma. But mention sex with a goat, and I am all ears. And I live in terror that someday google histories will be made public because when I zone out I tend to google things related to crime, perversion, Woody Allen, and how to know if your husband had sex with his mother.

However, this is just my mercury and luckily not my moon. Which means it has no correlation to what I actually do in real life. My physical existence is the opposite of dark, intense & perverted. I never wear black. I don’t even like Halloween. My favorite activities are walking, talking and going for car rides thanks to a moon in breezy and superficial Gemini. Being involved in anything remotely criminal would be my worst nightmare. I don’t have the nerves for it, nor the interest. But my speech patterns have at times caused people to reach the wrong conclusions about me.

Likewise, I have known humble people who speak like braggarts (Mercury in Leo). Power hungry people who talk like saints. Saints who talk like serial killers. Happy people who sound sad. Crazy people who sounds presidential. Dumb people who seem smart. And smart people who sound dumb. The point is that our style of communication can be a totally different animal from what lies beneath. So don’t be confused! Have you ever heard Jeffrey Dahmer’s sweet and thoughtful baby speech? Assuming a person’s words are a window into their soul may be the last thing you ever do!