Save Women, Save Yourself

I feel like people are trying to fix the masculine side of society- the economy, the government etc, when that isn’t what is broken. On a material level, we do pretty well in America with most people able to achieve a reasonable degree of prosperity through hard work. Even the poor can get fat.

It is the feminine side of life where the problems lie. People don’t feel good about life. They have low self esteem. They feel like something is missing. I believe the solution is to stop the degradation of women since they hold the key to our emotional and spiritual well being.

Right now, there is lots of talk about the need to have more female leaders, ceos, scientists etc. But herding more women into dull masculine professions will not bring about the desired changes. It may make life feel even more hollow than before. What women need is that we push back against the forces that erode their sense self-worth,* such as Hollywood, the music and fashion industries, etc. It is the subjective side of life- art, design, fashion, psychology- which needs to be freed from the forces of capitalism and masculinity.** Rather than pushing women INTO masculine domains, why not push men OUT of the feminine realms?***

The problem with men controlling the subjective realms of life (which for the sake of brevity I will refer to as “culture”) is that their masculine, egoic nature will naturally seek a way to harness these energies for personal power, glory, and control- all positive aims when they are operating in masculine realms. The true purpose of culture, though, is to release us from the emotional cage of civilization and reconnect us to a source of magic and healing- the Other World- from which we emerged. To free us from the oppression of social judgments and reconnect us with our source.

This is why the objectification of women is so dangerous. On the surface it may seem like a superficial issue- less important than war and the economy- but in reality when we make females doubt their beauty and their value- or when we give them the message that these things decrease rather than grow with time- we dishearten them to the extent that they are no longer able to fulfill their natural role in society- which is to connect us to nature. Both our inner nature and the true nature of life. It is only this connection to nature which can bring peace and true fulfillment.

Women bring beauty and depth to life in a way men can’t because their egos are weaker and their connection to the inner worlds is stronger (hence why they have holes rather than poles.) To objectify them is to hypnotize them into a state of narcissistic self-consciousness which runs counter to their true power. In this state, they struggle to be free and creative in the way that is natural to them. Fixated on themselves, they lack the energy to bring to life those things which bring joy and meaning. Forced into an unnatural state of competition they are no longer able to heal others. Without the unique contributions of females, life becomes dry and even men can no longer achieve satisfaction from their masculine achievements.

When men control the arts, for example, art becomes a competitive sport. People struggle to outdo each other in skill, artistry and innovation. The struggle for competence and domination is male nature. Or things may go one step further- as they have in Hollywood and the fashion industry- with men using their creations as Trojan horses bearing toxic messages designed to disempower the population as a whole. In many cases, these poison arrows are aimed right at women. Maybe because they are extra-susceptible due to their softer nature. Or maybe because the culture lords know that women must be displaced so that they can dicktate values and control the subjective realm in women’s place.

But true art is not about self-serving messages hidden within an artistic facade. True art carries messages from the heart or from realms which bring healing or a greater connection to life. Art is meant to FREE us from the judgments and spiritual toxins of society- not reinforce them. Whereas a masculine art tends to reinforce these judgments as the artists struggle to outdo one another in their ability to embody group values.

Currently, our culture lords present women with two main avenues for achieving value. 1. Achieve a sexy appearance by conforming to their artificially constructed ideals. 2. Prove ourselves in the masculine realms by having a successful career and making lots of money. Or even better, do both!

But neither of these are feminine aims.**** Females like to connect, heal, deepen, and beautify. And beauty- from a female perspective- is very different from the ideas promoted by the phallocratic culture gods. To them, beauty is superficial and hierarchical, based on how perfectly you approach an ideal of their determination. It is basically a competitive sport.

In a feminine sense, beauty is that which brings an inner sense of harmony, peace and healing, regardless of how rough or primitive the container may be. Interior design by males for example, tends to be ridiculously impressive to the eye and mind. Interior design by females (if they aren’t trying to compete within a male industry) would probably not impress and yet somehow create a feeling of comfort and home. Males use “beauty” to impress and intimidate. But I don’t believe that is true beauty. True beauty is what makes us whole on the inside.

So, basically, I don’t believe anyone will be healed by socialism. It will only undermine the masculine side of life while doing nothing to uplift the feminine. But we could create change by pushing back against messages which degrade and objectify women. Women should not feel their beauty and value is something to be proven. We are the EMBODIMENT of value and beauty. Whatever we are is what beauty is.

It is the nature of beauty to carry us some place new and this can only happen when you open your mind to see the perfection of what is, rather than trying to find something which adheres to your own suffocating judgments. When you seek that which reflects your own opinions and judgments beauty will always elude you. That which is perfect by your own standards is merely a reflection of your own limitations and has nothing to offer you.
This same principle applies in art. When we look for art which is good, skillful and impressive, we are only looking for that which holds us in place. The only way to travel someplace new is to appreciate that which does NOT appear to live up to your wonderful notions.

This is why art, as well as women, must be freed from masculine judgments. We need things in life which are wild, which can be appreciated but not judged, and therefore allow us to travel beyond ourselves.

THE END

*I realize I am writing as though women are helpless victims but that isn’t how I see things. I believe women have the power to wake ourselves from our own hypnotic slumber. But I also believe any male who helps women to value rather than degrade themselves will be rewarded. Because the essence of femaleness is to reward back manifold any good thing that is put into them.

**I am very much in favor of capitalism, but do feel it has spiritual dangers. For example, humans can come to believe that value itself can be determined by the market, which in essence makes popular opinion the benchmark of value, something we all know is disastrous..

** I’m not literally suggesting we push males out of the arts because then we would miss the raw, pulsing expression of red dick energy and the golden intricacy of masculine skill. .

**** I realize aims vary according the individual. But qualifying every statement is tedious.

Hi. I feel like this post may be a little confusing, but that is because it is a tiny chip off a much larger iceburg that I am attempting to get out of my brain & into the world. I don’t really enjoy writing about these things, but I feel like my people have fallen under a spell & it is my job to help them wake up.

Aquamarine

Hold my head in my hands and I struggle to think
I cannot understand, I can never be sure
Though I struggle to stand, still I have one more drink
Then I follow the hand that will open the door
And he will be there for sure.

In the blue of your room where you fall over me
I begin to forget when you hover above
Till our minds overlap, like a bubble I break
Spilling into your hand, dripping down on the rug
And we will live for love.

Change me. Change me.

You could teach me the things that you know
You could give me the money that you’ve made
Lay your hands on my fingers let me know
All the things that you want for me to say.

As long as you will stay

I tried so hard to pray, but they didn’t respond
They just fluttered away, so I reached for a pill
Till the waves came to crash, cold and aquamarine
I swore I would obey, I would follow your will
As long as you love me still.

Change me. Change me.

You will teach me the things that you know
You will give me the money that you’ve made
I don’t know where the things with wings they go
Why the sound of a scream they flow away…

And so I will stay.

I remained in the bath till you pulled me beneath
Till you pulled at my hair but I didn’t resist
I could feel you around blending into the air
Looking aquamarine and I gave you my wrist
And we will live for this.

Change me. Change me.

I remained in the bath till you pulled me beneath
Till you pulled at my hair but I didn’t resist
I could feel you around, blending into the air
Looking aquamarine and I gave you my wrist.

I could see in your mind, it was just like a dream
All the things that were gone and those that stayed
But I stayed there too long and I struggled to breath
But we always knew there’d be a price to pay.

Mp3: Aquamarine

Buying Pink Things

Recently my mind has been so overloaded it is hard to function. It feels like all I have to do is briefly consider something, and I start to get bombarded with information and insights concerning the object of focus. So I have been putting a bit of my focus on astrology, just as a way of channeling this energy.

And when I connect my mind to one of the planets, I don’t just get abstract insights but also ones regarding my own life. Like, a few days ago I realized my financial problems are rooted in the fact that I attempt to use money to impress others in order to ensure my place in the community and thus my personal safety.

I remember the moment in high school when decided  I would use money this way. I realized people saw me as being weird and that this could be a problem on multiple fronts. But I also noticed that wearing polished, conservative and stuffy clothes could override the messages my personality put out- or at least cast them in a more flattering light.  So, I made a little vow to myself I would always wear clothes that were as normal and pompous as possible. This would be my way of staying safe in the world. I later extended this vow to include all other possessions. It certainly seemed to me that- as an adult- people look to your home, your car, your style of decorating etc, to determine the sort of person you are and how much respect and consideration they should give you.

One thing about being “weird” is that people are likely to reach the conclusion that you are either stupid/insane or some kind of a genius. I have been cast at both ends of this spectrum and- until recently- it seemed to me that an association with money and status would make people more likely to reach for the genius category.

When I was in high school though, seeming intelligent was the least of my concerns. I was branded intelligent at a young age and as long as I went to the same k-12 school with the same group of people, there was little I could do to change that (slightly disagreeable) perception.

At that point, I mostly wanted to fit in. A few years later, my main concern became mateability. It felt like- after looks- a normal personality was the most valuable quality a female could possess. And clothes were the easiest way to accomplish this, since if I focused on acting super normal, it almost seemed to have the opposite effect. Whereas if you wore normal clothes and tried not to say anything, what could go wrong? This is probably why my first boyfriend dumped me for not having a personality.

Eventually, though, I realized men will still mate with you if you seem odd. Some might even like it. Nonetheless, I continued to feel that seeming as normal (which to me meant wealthy, stuffy, snobby, preppy, conservative) as possible was critical to survival. I was terrified of James dying and being left destitute on my own to roam the streets. (He is my only friend and only family member.)  It seemed that a poised and dignified person (ie a nicely dressed person surrounded by stuffy and valuable possessions) would be more likely to garner social support than someone drooling on themselves in an oversized tshirt and no pants. Winning the sympathy of strangers in case of an emergency became my new motivation for wanting to be normal.

A few days ago- after getting in touch with a planet-I had the opportunity to go to Walmart. Since I don’t drive, any time I have the opportunity to visit a store, it feels like a holiday. While admiring all the beautiful things on display, it hit me like a lightening bolt that I struggle financially because I am always buying the wrong things. My attempts to use money to impress others were causing the planets to block me from having any.

I started filling up a cart with everything pastel pink and lavender. It felt like breathing oxygen. Then I left the cart in the middle of the store since I couldn’t pay for it, but did take home a few gems, such as pink notebooks covered in baby kittens- the very sorts of things I try to avoid owning since I feel they will project “I have psychological problems and arrested development” out to the rest of the world.

Now, just to be clear- sticking to the rigid and pompous is what I felt I *should* do- not always what I did in practice. Half of my house and most of my wardrobe is light pink, and if it weren’t this way I couldn’t function at all. But I was always trying to push myself in the other direction- to get by with as little pink as possible. The things I imagined I would spend money on if I got rich were always those that would make me seem wealthy & calcified to others, so that I could finally feel safe. Because a wealthy person- a woman of dignity and grace- will never be left to die on the streets.

But I have come to believe that-although the planets each have their own energy and character- they are working together as a team to accomplish the same goal. The goal being that each person fulfill their own destiny and role in the scheme of life. And my desire to use money as a shield which could protect me from criticism and draw love and support is counter to my personal purpose. If I do manage to ever draw support from the outside world, it will have to be through expressing myself, not hiding behind a mountain of Rolexes.

In essence the planets are aligners. They live above our heads in the spiritual realms to enforce God’s plan and purpose. They can block or challenge us to bring us into alignment with divine plan. But the plan for each person is so unique. Certainly, there are some people who will ONLY achieve their purpose once they learn to hide behind a mountain of Rolexes and project a false image of wealth to impress people. I do not think expressing one’s inner self to the outer world should be the goal of all people.

Now only time will tell if my new understanding of money is superior to my old one!

I have more to say, but it is 4:25 am and getting to where I can hardly keep my eyes open. I can only hope I am still making sense. I will write more later. Thanks for listening!

Me, examining the study of the Governor’s Mansion. This is more or less a lightweight version of the vibe I felt I needed to be projecting.