Falling in Love

James said I should try to clean this up & not have my songs sound so messy, but the truth is I am just too lazy & don’t have the stomach for dealing with technology. I know I could push through it & try to get better, but that would take willpower, which is also in short supply.

So how to get more willpower? From what I can tell you are either born with it, get it from eating meat, or become a sexual predator to steal vital life force from your victims. I am sure there are other ways, but until I figure them out you will have to deal with messy songs!



Feels like I’m falling in love
Feels like I’m falling in love
Feels like I’m falling in love
Everybody’s falling in love

I will never know what it’s like to be you
I have never held the keys to a cage.
See my hair is falling into my eyes, once again
Now you’re flying into a rage.

Feels like I’m falling in love…

Lock me up again in your cage every night
Leave me sitting there on my hands.
Leave me gazing into the moonlight
I already see the face of a man.

Feels like I’m falling in love…

I can smell the flowers inside of my mind
I’m crushing them inside my brain.
I can you standing behind of the willow tree
Peering through a cloud of cocaine.

Feels like I’m falling in love…

Tie by the wrist till it bleeds and it burns
Then watch me struggle against my cage.
All the while the universe twists and it turns
All the while I dance on its stage.

Feels like I’m falling in love…


Download MP3: Falling in Love





Black flags fly in the streets today
Misty air, sky of grey
Pull my scarf up around my face
Everywhere is this place

His face.

In my home where the pictures hang
His mustache, his white fang
Light a fire and remove my gloves
He is everything I know

Of love.

I would like to run, but consequences are too severe
Trip I lose a finger, fall down I lose an ear.

Cross the street where the neighbors play
Jump and run, lemonade
Walk downtown where the black flags fly
Spin and spin, which way to

The sky?

Faces peer behind every door
Big black holes, nothing more
Touch the door, but I won’t go in
Win I lose, lose I win


I would like to run, but consequences are too severe
Trip I lose a finger, fall down I lose an ear.

Cross the bridge where the soldiers stand
Setting sun, handsome man
Cross the tracks where the money lies
Pick it up, which way to

The sky?

Wake up in my bed again
Happy dreams always end
Big black bubble follows me
Spin and spin, which way to

The sea?

I would like to run, but consequences are too severe
Trip I lose a finger, fall down I lose an ear.


Download MP3:  Ear

Mice People



Everybody says the same old things; they don’t know what’s going on.
Lining up likes ducks in a row; they don’t know soon they’re gonna be gone.
Everything washes away they say, but they don’t know where it goes when it’s gone
Lining up with eyes on the drain they strain, while the moon rises above the lawn.

Shining silver on the great big house,
Shining silver on the little white mouse who runs to hide.
Shining silver on the white brick wall,
Shining silver where the shadows fall
The taste of iron inside.

Put the cuffs on their ankles and hands
Their legs will shake but we need them to stand.
Tuck a little piece of metal into each little mouth
Press their lips shut we need them not to shout.

Line them up against the white brick wall
Fire above their heads so they’ll start to crawl, looking for a place to hide.
Open up the back door, they’ll scramble in
Make certain that the last one is safely in then lock the door behind.

A man is asleep in a great big bed,
Stars glitter softly on his bald head,
He knows what’s going on.

He could try to change it, but it would still end the same.
He is just a player; he does not control the game.
He knows he’s just a pawn.

And so he sleeps with a contented snore
As they crawl like shaking children through his back door.
He knows they’ll be finished off by the stairs,
Choking on their own blood but he no longer cares.

All he can do is escape from their screams
By flying into a world made of beautiful dreams.
A world where the mice people are his friends,
A world in which life never ends.

Download Mp3: Mice People

5 Dark Knights



5 bright stars that I’ve never seen before
Step by step walking on the checkerboard
You know, some things get easier with time
Blood flows much easier when I know the blood is mine.

5 dark knights sleeping underneath the skies
Toss and turn, thinking of the way you died
I can’t describe what is left of me more delicate than a lace
Hold me in your hand then let me slip into the wind and watch

Me fly.
Sometimes the sky is filled with eyes.

5 small boys I saw them inside my dream
Step by step but the checkerboard was green
You know, they never cried they were a bubble in the air
Flying in the wind they never knew that you were there

All of the time.
They were oblivious to the feeling of your eyes.

Step by step walking to the rabbit hole
And there I will forget, fall into a black so fine
That you were there with me when every wind

Was filled with time.
We were oblivious to the feeling of their eyes.


Download MP3: Five Dark Knights

White God & Gold God

Although I’m not religious, there are at least two Gods I believe in…

1. A White God, * whom I simply call “God.” He is the man in the sky who hears our prayers and answers them, so long as they are not in conflict with our destiny or personal growth. But no matter what, when we reach out to him, he will respond with care and love. He is above all our friend.

2. A Gold God, whom I call “God the Father.” He is the watchmaker who created the laws which run the universe. There is no need to pray to him, because he has already constructed the universe to run according to the highest good of all. Plus, he is far away, standing outside the world as he watches it turn.

He does, however, contain vast reservoirs of intelligence and wisdom that we can tap into, and also the Virtues. Virtues are, of course, things like honesty, courage, kindness etc. But on the golden level, they are power sources built into the fabric of the universe. By tapping into them we release external forces as well as internal ones.

Basically, the Virtues are stars- shining above us from all directions- with some diametrically opposed to others (frugality vs generosity, for example.) When we embody a virtue, we unleash a powerful wind blowing us in that star’s direction. If we tap into the right virtue, one that is aligned with our destiny, we will experience this as powerful forces of synchronicity coming to play in our favor, helping us to achieve our purpose. But if we tap into the wrong virtue, one that is not aligned with our destiny, it can be a disaster, carrying us into a foreign life where our strengths are useless. Or worse still, blowing us into a hostile world where our gifts are liabilities.

This is why I have yet to tap into any virtues myself. I don’t have the self-knowledge to know if I ought to be jovial or sober, trusting or crafty. But one day I look forward to doing it. Who wants to slog their way through life when they could be blown swiftly away by forces beyond their control?


* Given the mood of the moment with everyone on the lookout for racism, I feel the need to point out that this God being white has nothing to do with “white people.” At any rate, he is not the “white” color of Caucasian skin, he is white like bones, the color of bones that all humans and animals share.

The Pine Fairy Takes a Stroll


Why is the wind so cold? Shiver and shake, then shut the door…
I don’t need friends like that much anymore.
Why is the sun so silver, shining in the sky like a dime?
I must have lost track of the time.

Where did I put my glasses? Knocking the jars down with my hand
Spilling the corn meal and the sand.
Three legged stool, I think I’ll sit down on you just for a while…
Head in my hands, I’m crying now.

Time. Sky. There must be somewhere nice where all the birds go when they fly.
Space. Darkness falls casting its purple on my face.

Where is my cane, again? Oh, I see it leaning by the door.
Perhaps the two of us will go explore.
Just take a walk and let the wind try to hurt us as it will…
Friends that can bleed but cannot kill.

Time. Pain. Blood dripping in the mason jar- but not in vain.
Need. Planting us painfully with a golden seed.

And when the moon comes up we’ll capture it silver in our eyes…
Just a man and his cane walking side by side.
And when the moon comes up we’ll follow the silver it unrolls…
Just a man and his cane going for a stroll.



Download MP3: The Pine Fairy Takes a Stroll

Video of ‘Ben’ (from the Pine Fairy)

My first attempt at making a video. Although I hate having my photograph taken, somehow video cameras are less intimidating.

At any rate, this is another song about the Pine Fairy, a fairy on his way to becoming a magician. Being of a piney nature, he is prone to piercing, torturous bouts of grief. However, in the end, these feelings become the key to his power, lifting him above the humdrum of life and compelling him to seek out those things which are truly eternal.






Cloud at my door, come in, come in.
Where have you wandered, my friend, my friend?
I have grown weary, I have grown tired;
Every day get up and start a new fire.

But what bothers me most is this feeling I get
That my life is a story that’s already writ;
And that faith has no magic except to forgive-
And if Ben isn’t real, then I don’t wanna live.

See you next Sunday, let me open the door
And you’ll walk down the cobblestone path like before-
Just a fluffy white cloud, one who never asks why,
You just wobble a bit then you climb to the sky.

But what bothers me most is that when you are gone
I stare hard at my hands and tell them to keep on,
Cause you gotta keep grinding and keep with the toil
Because life is just this; it is not something more.

Too tired to struggle, too bitter to give-
And if Ben isn’t real, then I don’t wanna live.

I watch you flying; I watch how you soar.
I know you are a cloud, you are not something more.
And the sky is a flag- something flat, something blue;
And yet you are my friend and I’m a friend to you.

But when I close my eyes all the blue grows so deep
That it drowns me in currents too wavy to sleep;
And I need to decide if the water’s a dream
Or if there’s still a chance life is not what it seems.

Caught between hard things and things elusive-
But if Ben isn’t real, then I don’t wanna to live.


Download MP3: Ben


Man with the Golden Pen




Alone on a country path
to home, there is nowhere back
a loan that you must return
but you know you never will.

A field where the sun has lain
a barn with a crooked frame
a man with a golden pen
he meets you on the road.

What could you say?
You couldn’t explain
your hands just shook with guilt.
The house that absence built.

The sink of the western sun
a sigh and the day is done
a man with a golden pen
he meets you on the road.

Three men from behind the hill
ride in and surround you still
you know there is nowhere back
there’s nowhere to run.

They ride you hard
and when they leave
you can feel your spirit wilt.
The house that absence built.

A change coming from within
a man with a golden pen
you speak all the words you know
he writes down every one.

You sneer cause you must not cry
the fear of a dimming sky
ride in and the reasons why
will meet you on the road.

The trees will rise
like black men where
the golden sun in spilt
in the house that absence built.


This is a song about the Pine Fairy being raped by three traveling men that he meets on the road. They may or may not be human, since such things are harder to tell from the Pine Fairy’s perspective.

The reference to Black Men isn’t related to humans of African descent. Black Men are a subset of what I call “Gingerbread Fairies.” Basically humanoid beings that are larger than us, but with more simplistic forms. They come in different colors and are about 8-10 feet tall with bodies that are a cross between a human and a three dimensional gingerbread cookie (if the cookie was made of colored light.) Although their bodies have no mass or weight, they are stronger than gorillas and can easily move physical objects in this world. Sometimes the Black Men will show up to protect people from an attack, other times they will show up afterwards to help the person regain their power. They are jet black and always travel by night.

The man with the golden pen is a being similar to St. Peter. He helps you to record, review, and evaluate the choices of your life so that you can feel the appropriate remorse and finally gain wisdom.


Download MP3: Rape of the Pine Fairy

Introduction to the Pine Fairy



The stars and moon were calling
but he didn’t hear.
The night was cold and piney
it was clear.
He stayed inside and cried
as though somebody died.
His heart was breaking in two
on the inside.

The owls were cold and silver;
they were harsh.
Green things were fermenting
deep within the marsh.
He rested his head down,
a king without a crown.
The staff held in his hand
was made of larch.

Why did he cry?
Cause he was learning to love himself.
But why?
Because no love came from anybody else.
People say they care
but they can’t always be there.
At times it’s best to think
of something else.

The stars were going crazy
on a whim.
Tomorrow night he may be there
dancing right beside them.
But right now he is tired.
His brain is blue and mired.
The produce on his shelf
has all expired.

Why is he tired?
Because he’s learning to love himself.
But why?
Because he can’t get love
from anybody else.
He lives in a forest of pine.
His home is hard to find.
No one has knocked upon his door
in the longest time.


Download MP3: Introduction to the Pine Fairy