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Charleston, West Virginia My Life Story On My Own Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Cry Alone

How you do now baby?
You a good good baby.
Climb upon my airplane
So much world to see now baby.

Where the sunbeams sway
I drew the cards I saw us play
You were the one for me I saw us high
Hand in hand in that sky.

If you smile now baby give you this big bone
But if you cry you cry alone

Watch the windows chatter
See the rain go splitter splatter
Has it been this way forever?
You tell me it doesnt matter.

You say the past is gone
The future is a big unknown
And all we have is just one second
Right with me where you belong.

You told me how smile and dream
I told myself I’d never scream
I told myself I wouldn’t cry
But still I cry at everything…

If you smile now baby give you this big bone
But if you cry you cry alone

From the day you born
You work your fingers to the bone
So how can I stand there before you
Asking you where you belong?

You know the future’s just a lie
The past is best left there to die
So how can I stand there before you
Asking you for reasons why?

Life feel like a big green wave
A thousand pulses every day
I try to keep myself upright
But still I fail in everyway.

If you smile now baby give you this big bone
But if you cry you cry alone

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia My Life Story On My Own Writings Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Julien Conquers the Dark Side & Begins her Advance on the World of Sun

How am I doing? Well, I’ve conquered the world of vice and now I can afford to buy a car. A few months back I was on the verge of homelesshess. Draw your own conclusions.

So what’s next for the woman who has turned Pure Evil into her little lap dog?

The World of the Sun.

The most wonderful thing about life is how there are infinite worlds to conquer. You can never exhaust them. A new world is a new mathematics. Everything changes. I love it. Every world is lucent and perfectly crystallized. It’s own rules. It’s own morality. I love it so much. Nothing makes me more excited than preparing to enter a new world. I am cleaning my apartment right now in anticipation.

I always thought of a home as a spaceship that lets you travel between worlds. You program it for the new world you want to enter and it flies you there. The most exciting thing ever.

Who knows what the future holds & when I’ll have to face the plane of survival again. God probably plunges all of us there periodically to give our red a tune up. But for this one moment, I am relatively safe. Safer than before. My apartment is warm. Warm air is the ultimate luxury.

And all through no virtue of my own. Quite the opposite. In fact, when I was living out my own version of virtue- working hard, setting sights low, inflicting pain on self when possible- I was sinking the fastest. Hard work can’t save you once you get too close to the realm of slaves. Cause money comes from other people. If money is about anything, it’s about social intelligence, not work. I still don’t have any of that though. I just temporarily hit some good luck.

Had I been saved by my own efforts, perhaps I’d emerge from the pit with a different philosophy. But as it is, I move forward with the feeling that a person’s own efforts have little impact on their destiny. It’s external influences that make or break us. We are one, they are many & hence far more powerful.

So while some see responsibility as focusing on what you can control, to me it means trying to befriend those things more powerful than you.

Like the sun. He is the King of our Solar System.

Decorating my apartment to prepare for the Sun’s arrival.
Luckily the sun doesn’t care if you are neat or messy.
He only cares that you display pictures of him.
That is all he asks.
In exchange he gives us Everything.
Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs On My Own Videos Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Golden Fingers (Video)

Watch the world with hopeful eyes
staring at its black disguise
hiding-where are you?

Underneath a checkerboard
knights and kings keeping score
crying- can it be true?

Under your purple eyes
black squares and white squares lie
fighting- which one is true?

Under your aqua shirt
hope is killed off by hurt
all on the surface is blue.

Don’t lose heart whatever life brings
you must believe that behind all things
Golden Fingers pull on the strings!

Prop your head up on your arm
in your eyes I see no intent to harm
that’s why I love you.

But the day will surely come
when you will kill or be the one
whom they pour their poison into.

Don’t be their fluffy sheep
sink into places deep
let evil flow through your root.

Hardened heart, inky skull
feast like a cannibal
all of the black squares were true.

Killing hurts and killing stings
but you must believe that behind the scenes
Golden Fingers pull on the strings!

When you’re dark, when you’re mean
doing things that shouldn’t be seen
I will be here with you.

Bodies lie, angels spy
we fall to earth, one day we fly
all of the white squares were true.

In the sky they saw
your hand and they understand
you did what you had to do.

Kill or be killed they know
that’s the way black squares roll
all of their tears were for you.

Don’t lose heart whatever life brings
you must believe that behind all things
Golden Fingers pull on the strings!

The original song… from a time when I was obsessed with men being able to make their way across the checkerboard of black and white squares to receive their crown of solid gold….