Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized Writings

Pluto in Aquarius: A Swarm of Butterflies

I’ve been wanting to write a post about Pluto in Aquarius for a while now, but have held back because I feel pressure to predict which dark & dismal events will occur since this is what astrologers are supposed to do. But my heart is being pulled in a different direction, possibly infected by Aquarius’s optimistic spirit already.

So I am going to give you 11 reasons why I am excited for Pluto to enter Aquarius this spring. We have really been buried alive by depressing Saturnine energy in recent years, which- combined with Neptune in Pisces- has created a insular culture where people spend their lives picking lint out of navels in the name of self-care then wondering why they are depressed and taking drugs to fix it.

But the age of drugs, nutrition & laziness is over. Aquarius brings a new player into the mix- your mind. We will focus less on what we are putting into the body and more on what our mind and spirit are putting out into the world. If someone is struggling we will consider their thoughts, beliefs, spirit & failure to circulate in the world as likely causes of the problem.

So anyway, here are 11 breaths of fresh air that Aquarius will bring to us. Start developing these qualities now & be ahead of the game this time.

  1. Optimism. Once upon a time we understood how a person’s attitude influenced their overall well-being and those days are back. Depression is no longer a chemical imbalance y’all. It is now the consequence of negative thoughts and beliefs. And what is anxiety? The absence of faith. And both are products of a self-absorbed spirit.

    Not only will we recognize the importance of our attitude, we will realize we have the power to transform it and then the sky becomes the limit.

  2. Selflessness. An obsessive focus on the self will come to be considered the cause of many problems. We gain lightness from remembering we are part of a whole. When we care for others as we care for ourselves our hearts open and burdens drop from our shoulders. Joy fills our lives.

  3. Faith. Faith in a higher power gives us wings. It elevates our spirits and once again burdens fall from us.

  4. Mind over matter. The material world may not be as objective as it seems. Rather than our psychological health having a physical basis, perhaps our physical health has a psychological one. We will come to see that what happens in our minds exercises a tremendous influence over all aspects of our life.

  5. Big Picture Thinking. In recent years our gaze kept shrinking inward. Only focus on the present moment! Only focus on the feeling of your breath against the back of your throat! We called this meditation & mindfulness.

    But what if we did the opposite and expanded our awareness so that it included the future, all of time, all beings, everywhere, everything?! The goal of Aquarius is to see the largest panoramic view of which a human is capable. Why must we limit ourselves to the present? What if we stretch our mind 10,000 years into the future or view life from the perspective of all eternity? What if we soar above our present feelings and instead feel our oneness with everything that exists? How would this change our perspective and our choices?

    Expanse brings exhilaration. The future brings brightness to the present.

  6. Dreaming. As our minds open, we begin to dream. When we have faith in God and faith in the power of our minds we begin to believe in our dreams. When we feel our oneness with others we know that we share a dream and all work together towards it. And we have all of eternity for dreams to come true. With so much spiritual power, time, and friends on our side, our dreams will certainly become realities.

  7. Get out of bed & leave the house. When we were focused on our feelings, home was the place we were safe. But now we are looking for God, striving for the future, seeking exhilaration. None of this can happen in a bathtub. The emotional comfort of curling into a ball will pale next to the feeling of openness and possibility we get from charging out into the world to face the unknown.

    (In recent years, people probably would have tried to seek God in a bathtub. However, our concept of God is about to change. He is no longer that cozy feeling in your chest, but a humongous, awe inspiring presence, jaw dropping in scope. We find him through faith and opening to the world, not retreat.)

  8. Fun & Laughter. While these are not goals that Aquarius seeks, they are by-products of the lightened spirit & open heart he brings.

  9. Inspiration. In recent years, people became obsessed with facts, research, experts, education and science. All thoughts needed footnotes in order to count. But with Aquarius ideas can just pop into your head from the blue. We can think thoughts that no one has ever thought before.

  10. Friends, friends & more friends. Friends will be everything. They are the wind beneath our winds. They bring joy to our heart. We will form brotherhoods & lesbian fellowships that span the globe, singing and holding hands. We will bounce out of the house eager to say hi to new and old acquaintances. In past years, friends were outside the self, and therefore a potential threat to our comfort. 99% of humans came to see themselves as introverts.

    But from an Aquarian perspective these people are pieces of our spirit and share our same spiritual destiny. We are the original friends who have been together since time began and will be here when time has ended. Friends are part of us. Saying hi to them is saying hi to a little piece of ourselves. We are all one.

  11. Birds, butterflies, balloons, airplanes, angels & everything that flies. Including the sky and God. All these things come more into play. Please forget that this is Pluto entering Aquarius and don’t worry about how scary he can be. Just imagine butterflies flying everywhere, as far as the eye can see in every direction. This is the future.
Categories
Charleston, West Virginia My Life Story Uncategorized Writings

Lesbian Fragments

For some reason I have been having the hardest time expressing myself & now there are so many thoughts in my head I can’t get them all out

So please allow me to share fragments of my mind through pictures…

A ginger root which I planned to carry with me throughout January as part of the “30 Days to Ginger Your Swagger” challenge. The idea was to do dumb & risky things each day for thirty days & come out at the end of it an empowered lesbian warrior.

However, this didn’t happen because I started off the year sick, which gave me time to reflect and I decided that a series of random dumb actions would probably not lead to empowermint after all.

Me taking a package to the post office, as I do most days as part of my ebay swizzle. I look worried because I am. I was certain I would go through life as a housewife and never face the jungle myself.

I have taken to wearing a cross because a) protection & b) maybe if people think I’m religious they’ll treat me better. So far that does not seem to be the case. It’s almost like devils are attracted to crosses. But it still makes me feel safe.

That is my Megatron Powers coat btw. Megatron is the spiritual being formed when women unite to activate their lesbian powers. No sex required.

Putting butterflies & airplanes all over my house in preparation for Pluto’s entry into Aquarius this April. I should write a blog post about this, but once again there are too many thoughts to deal with.

At least in the beginning it should be a refreshing change since it will bring more air into our lives, making people more social, optimistic, active & future looking. Eventually though it will likely reach a critical mass causing people to become heartless and ungrounded, willing to sacrifice past & present for an idealized future that will never arrive.

Still I’m looking forward to it.

Four candles lit to the four winds- Boreas, Eurus, Notos & Zephyrus. I love these cuties.

Arm healing after I fell off a chair on Christmas & crashed onto the floor. Why did I fall? Because I was trying so hard to peer into the truth of something. It felt like the truth was above my head & I kept staring at it harder & harder until I lost my balance.

A miniature vase being sold on ebay. Selling my possessions on ebay can be pretty painful cause each one of them was part of a cherished dream. I remember the feelings of hope and excitement associated with each purchase.

Mostly they are part of the dream called “Stuffington’s Estate” which involved James & I living in the most stuffy & pompous house of all time, where we would sit in the library in our leather chairs each evening by a fire sipping creamed soups. Surrounded by dark paintings of scowling men. James and I loved antiquing together, cooking new dishes & collecting things. So Stuffington’s was the place where all this good would pool up. It was the life I was working towards. Now what am I working towards?

An endless sea of glass. Waiting to be sold like slaves.

Three glass leaves that grew up together. What happens now? They get sold to separate homes & never meet again?

Real life empowermints sent to me by lesbian friend MK Ultra (Man Killa Ultra.) My lesbian name is OJ, standing for Orange Julius.

True Hope Empowermints. Hope is an Aquarian thing. It can give you wings and lead to your fall as well.



Lesbian Extraordinaire. That’s me. But what does the future hold for this lesbian once her glass runs out?

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Purple, Magic & Sorcerers Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Videos

Love (Video)

Sunset comes at half past 8
The sun drops through the garden gate
The glory then a darker shade of blue.

See your eyes at least I think
They sparkle like a darker drink
A sink into a world I never knew.

But somehow then when I approach
So careful as to not encroach
Just touch you with the lightest touch of glove.

Still I want to feel you there
Surround me like the darkest air
And fill me up with your breath like a glue.

Is this Love? What is Love?
I never knew.

See you standing there you smoke
A pervert in his evening cloak
A bather in a silver wave of time.

Sun goes down we watch it fall
Together pressed against a wall
Then run my finger down your nose’s line.

Somehow in the evening dusk
From far away it comes to us
The purple silk that grips us like a glove.

Look into your eyes and see
A presence looking back at me
I want to drink from your lips til I’m blue.

Is this Love? What is Love?
I never knew.

40 eyes around us see
The air it swirls in ecstasy
To switch directions now it’s switching back.

Watch string from your pocket fall
To climb its way back up the wall
Enticing you to follow in its track.

Grip your hand- no please don’t go
Cause everyone I ever know
They leave me there just clinging to a glove.

Smell your neck but I can see
Your eyes have drifted off of me
Into the sky to spy the bedded moon.

Is this Love? What is Love?
I never knew.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Purple, Magic & Sorcerers Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized

Love

Sunset comes at half past 8
The sun drops through the garden gate
The glory then a darker shade of blue.

See your eyes at least I think
They sparkle like a darker drink
A sink into a world I never knew.

But somehow then when I approach
So careful as to not encroach
Just touch you with the lightest touch of glove.

Still I want to feel you there
Surround me like the darkest air
And fill me up with your breath like a glue.

Is this Love? What is Love?
I never knew.

See you standing there you smoke
A pervert in his evening cloak
A bather in a silver wave of time.

Sun goes down we watch it fall
Together pressed against a wall
Then run my finger down your nose’s line.

Somehow in the evening dusk
From far away it comes to us
The purple silk that grips us like a glove.

Look into your eyes and see
A presence looking back at me
I want to drink from your lips til I’m blue.

Is this Love? What is Love?
I never knew.

40 eyes around us see
The air it swirls in ecstasy
To switch directions now it’s switching back.

Watch string from your pocket fall
To climb its way back up the wall
Enticing you to follow in its track.

Grip your hand- no please don’t go
Cause everyone I ever know
They leave me there just clinging to a glove.

Smell your neck but I can see
Your eyes have drifted off of me
Into the sky to spy the bedded moon.

Is this Love? What is Love?
I never knew.

This song was partially inspired by this shirt which made me feel so calm and controlled….. an evening librarian who quietly hums while filing books alone.

But as you can see from the background, the feeling of control was only a dream. And one washing shrank the sleeves to halfway up my arms, transferring me from library to insane asylum.
Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Time

This is not a picture of two women in love- it’s a picture of my brain. Two lobes disconnected each three burkas deep kept confused by a smattering of hearts.

Feel the fire inside again I try
Try to let it burn and walk away
Keep my eyes upon your feet don’t speak
I promise to do what you say

But what did you said about time man?
I can’t remember the words
Backwards and silver and fine man
That was the message I heard

And I’m coming to you empty
You not coming for me

Look into you eyes again I try
Try to let you leave why would I care
Just a vacuum in my chest and head swims
Battered around by the air

What can I say you’re a hard man
You don’t need anyone’s words
Nothing like me I’m so soft man
Swallowing all that I’ve heard

And I’m coming to you empty
You not coming for me

Want to reach your arm and grab your hand
Everything you are it seems so true
Like a soldier you complete and I flow
Round at the bottom of you

Swirl backwards and silver and fine
Everything that you believe man
Is just the reflection of time

An what did they said about time man?
Can you remember the words?
Backwards and silver and fine man
Swallowing all that it heard

And I’m coming to you empty
You not coming for me

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized

On High

This is a song I heard in a dream so those I usually just write down without judgment. It is different because at the time I was obsessively surrounding myself only with the colors white, yellow & gold in the hopes that they would protect me from black swirls. Did they? It is hard to say. The black storms still occurred but I got way more help from fb friends than I could have imagined (gold) and was able to learn new skills quicker than I thought possible (yellow.) So I didn’t control the whole universe, but it’s still something.


All the winds were blowing
And their thoughts were filling my mind
Everybody watching
Looking to the sky for a sign
Water started rolling
Changing everything that it touched
Filled our hearts with knowing
All the things that hurt us too much
On high on high on high
On high on high on high.

Caught up in the weakness
Thought it was chance I could take
Till I saw him coming
Then I knew I made a mistake.
But were there people watching?
All these thoughts were filling my mind
Could there be something starting
To bring us in a new wave of time?
On high on high on high
on high on high on high

Are there people watching?
Feel them there each time that you move
Reaching out for something
But somehow always missing the groove
Maybe there was something
Something that he couldn’t explain
Dipping in your fingers
And feeling just a little more pain.

Still the winds are blowing
Living in a world of their own
Once they get it rolling
Then we’ll see the reason to go
In me blue was flowing
All its voices filling my mind
Left me with the knowing
That there was something better to find
On high on high on high
On high on high on high.

In case you would like to donate a drop of money for music. I hope that in the future, when people think of me they will also think of money.
* * *

When I found myself suddenly alone with no income, selling my possessions became the obvious choice, especially since that would make things easier if I ended up on the streets. Luckily one of my obsessions is glass. I love its clear gelatinous nature & it happens to sell rather well on ebay which is a ray of hope. I assume my ebay identity is julienaklei…. not that I am necessarily encouraging anyone to go to my ebay store- it is just me selling everything I own, not my crowning achievement per se.

A glass lady bug. I love vivid orange glass especially. So refreshing.
A “WV Day” piece from Blenko glass. These are limited edition & so sell for a lot of money.
A dog & a “pink ice” bottle.
A glass key chain with the letter W on it. For George W Bush.
A glass mushroom with a red cap.
Business cards. I figured I could also do astrology readings to support myself. I tuck one into the box of everything I sell on ebay.
Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Only Blue

First the sound of laughing.
Life is all around. I lie.
Close my eyes again and I
Feel it falling down. I fly.

I can see behind me.
I see you.
I remember then when you
Were my only blue.

All the waves come crashing
To my mind that’s how it goes.
I was stationed like a pool.
You were free to go.

Falling down into me
Now I can’t explain why I’m
Reaching out to touch your face
Touch me back and then I fly.

Hover in the air to watch you there.
You were getting bored the more that I tried.
And my arms blew all around you like a storm and nothing more.
You stayed inside.

Raining down again I try
To remember all you said.
But the pieces never fit
Piling up inside my head.

Close my eyes again and I
I see you.
Take me back again to when
You’re my only blue.

Would you care to donate a dime or one dollar? All mini contributions are greatly appreciated.

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Videos

Tumble to the Day (Video)

I’m in mute phase right now, so all I will say is that it is so easy to learn things others have already learned & so hard to learn things that no one has learned yet.

Oh & regarding this song, I will say one thing too. It is more or less about whether or not doing something stupid is a good idea. What do you think? Act now, think later has mostly been my approach to life. The only thing that has saved me is being so fearful, since usually my body will be too afraid (or grossed out) to do the dumb things I try to get it to do. But I’ve still managed to be dumb enough to learn that if you constantly act on impulse you are likely to one day find yourself in a crevice it will be hard to climb out of. Still, the actual moment of doing something dumb feels amazing, like a quick flash of enlightenment followed by 20 years in a Saudi prison.

If you are super tough though it may be that you can get away with doing dumb things more easily. You have to be grounded & practical if you want to be adventurous, otherwise you are doomed.

Take my hand but take it slowly
Let it grow just like a lowly
Bean towards a grain of light

Let it be so small and hidden
Mixed into the air, forbidden
With my mind alone I might

Fallen in the green where you wait around for me
Fallen in between with your hand upon my knee

Kidneys shrink inside the darkness
I know I must stay regardless
Gonna do the best I can

Lay my hand down when he makes me
I alone must save or break me
This I swear I understand

Still I feel a cold like a shadow in my ear
It’s that sound again and I wonder if you’re near

No nothing’s wrong- I told myself
I would be strong but I let it slip away.
Hey would you say the only way to get there is to fall
Tumble to the day?

Hands go limp just like a baby
Sun breaks through the glass and maybe
You alone could make me smile

Life moves on then like a train
To crash and clatter in my brain, but please
Could you stay with me awhile?

Its that gold again, something warm against my ear
Sun is pouring in and it feels as though you’re near

No nothing’s wrong- I told myself
I would be strong but I let it slip away.
Hey would you say the only way to get there is to fall
Tumble to the day?

Feel you breathing, how could I?
There’s no one here but I
Feel your hands upon my face

Feel you standing square and solid
Heavy arms upon me I…
Now I feel a sense of place

If you found me there, if there was a way to meet me
Could I follow you? No, I could never take your hand completely.

No nothing’s wrong- I told myself
I would be strong but I let it slip away.
Hey would you say the only way to get there is to fall
Tumble to the day?

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Hands on My Head


There are different types of songs I guess. This is one of those songs that you hear playing in your head which you assume will annoy people, but you write it down anyway, just in case it matters somehow. In general, I try not to judge songs too much since their meaning changes to me over time. Lots of songs which I once thought were dumb started to seem important to me in hindsight.

Hold it together & fight through the mud
You will find him there.
Close your eyes tightly the fingers you feel
A spider through your hair.

Hands on my head will you steady me, steady me
There’s too much I’ve seen.
I only thought things would be wonderful
I didn’t know he could be mean.

I loved a dream.
I loved a dream.

Hands on my head could you steady me, steady me
Show me who I am.
Winds on my mind they are blowing me, blowing me
Blowing me round in circles again.

Sometimes I feel like I could do so many things
Running fast & far.
Finding myself in another place, other place
Who took me here? Who drove the car?

I loved a dream.
I loved a dream.

Hands on my head could you steady me, steady me
Guide me through the dark?
Keep touching me til I’m ready so ready then
Let my mind restart.

Scanning my eyes through another town other town
Always gray and blue
Searching again for the boldest man, oldest man
He will be you.

Forces of air are you trying to speak to me
Why do you blow on my mind?
Help me to be just one person, the same person
All of the time.

I loved a dream.
I loved a dream.

Download MP3:








Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized Videos

Life Was Never Meant to Be Your Home (Video)

I have been wearing yellow tinted glasses today, which makes it a bit easier to find words to express myself.

This is one of many songs I have written about protective spirits, the sorts that follow a person around. In this case, they are spirits of the air. They help a person to avoid danger, but if the emotional connection to them grows too strong then a feeling of detachment from life  can take hold. Because they are spirits of freedom & escape. Not spirits of building a nest within this world.

Although they do provide friendship to some extent, if a person is trying to resolve loneliness, fire spirits would be a better choice. Because they warm the heart & make it easier to connect to others.

Still, I love spirits of the air. They are always around us and never far away.

Step softly now.
See their hooded eyes.
Keep us close at hand-
You may need our quick advice

But everybody’s watching you- they got a lot to say.
Just keep their words within a jar- we’ll open it one day.

After all, life was never meant to be your home.
Life was never nothing but the road you chose to take.

Step softly now.
Feel the hidden hand.
Through the bushes it extends to you
The outline of a man

Then he says hide! duck! back up against the van where he can’t see you!
Crawl over to the shadows where we’re waiting, for we may be the only ones who need you.

After all, life was never meant to be your home.
Life was never nothing but the road you chose to take.

And how do you feel now, standing on your own?
Like a column made of fire?
A feeling that you could be quite alone.

Move quickly now- don’t believe you have a friend
They just like to watch you trip and fall- they’ll push you down again.

So quickly crawl back into the alleyway where he won’t see you
Back up against the tree and we will be there- perhaps we are the only ones who need you.

After all, life was never meant to be your home.
Life was never nothing but the road you chose to take.

I have to include a random picture here for practical purposes. (Otherwise, Facebook attaches a photo I hate to my posts when I try to share them.) This is me at Blenko- a place where they make glass in West Virginia. It is one of my favorite things about the state.