Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized

Bullets

He points the gun at me
I say please don’t shoot
He says what makes you think I would do that to you?
After all that I’ve done that’s the way that you see me?
Then walk out that door cause you might as well leave me.

Oh no…. my brain…..something cracking inside
Please I need to find darkness some place I can hide
Just climb under the bed, just lie there very still
I wish someone would find me but they never will.

Walking around it’s a haze in my mind now
And the flowers are blooming, the sun is behind now
But inside it’s raining I can’t make it stop
And I bite on my tongue cause I need not to talk.

Oh no…. my head… something breaking inside
Now I need to find shelter some place I can hide
But behind every door there’s a man with a new gun
There’s no where to go if I had the strength to run.

Clouds in the sky I don’t think I can join you
So fluffy and free all the bullet pass through you
You’ve nothing to fear and you rain when you want to
I wish you saw me I need someone to talk to.

Oh no… my heart… something breaking inside
Can you hold it together until we can hide?
Just climb under the bed just lie there very still
I wish someone would find us but they never will.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Far

Can you close your eyes we’re almost there?
I can feel the tendrils of his hair
Look I see the pole they said we’d find
First you know we saw it in our mind.

Close your eyes and let him start to speak
First we fall down limply then go weak
Though we cannot move we see the star
And we know this man will take us FAR.

First we feel his hands caress our face
Lips that part too gently to erase
All the things that lay behind us now
Things that hurt us in the mind somehow.

Darkened hands that lifted up the lid
Of the heavy black box where we hid
Till those heavy hands became a star
And we knew this man would take us FAR.

Sister hold my hand it’s just the two of us
To withstand what he gives.
Let your mind give way you know they say the one who dies
Will be the only one lives.

First his eyes seem black then they seem blue
First he watches me then watches you
As though we were dancing though we lie
Paralyzed and facing towards the sky.

Then we feel his hands begin to touch
Do we like it no or very much?
Either way we’re flying in his car
We have found the man who takes us FAR.

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire

No More Tears

Try, try open your eyes, but its my head- no… where am I ?
days, months, seconds, years, I told myself no more tears.

I always use the words that drive him away
sometimes I don’t know what I mean to say I
try to clear my head, slipping like sand…
I can’t lose one more man.

First you’ll go cold and then you’ll open the door
but could you stay and please don’t leave?
You run around and still I’m chasing you down
as though there’s something that I need.

I know I drove you away I turned you cold
cause I was talking all of the time.
Trying to hold too many things in my head
to make me seem right inside the mind.

Try, try, I won’t cry, just look into the air and you will
find something inside your mind to distract you from what you feel.

I know that I was wrong chasing him round
that’s why his shoulders turn away from me now.
Try to search my mind to find a way
but words and words are all I say

hello blanket over me, pull me down I can’t breath
hello room, hello pink, pull me down I can’t think

First he’ll go cold and then he’ll open the door
because he hates me on my knees.
I’ll grab his arm again oh please understand
sometimes I don’t know what I mean!

I’ll grab his arm again oh please understand
I think its broken in my mind!
But he goes crazy on me when I beg and then
I’m not supposed to cry.

Try, try open your eyes, but its my head- no… where am I ?
Days, months, seconds, years, I told myself no more tears.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Purple, Magic & Sorcerers Red, Soldiers, & Fire Uncategorized

Light on the Wall


Light on the wall
Just stare at it hard then he’s coming to call
He said that your name was the cause for it all
But you knew truth- he knew nothing at all
And next thing it’s all coming down.

Blue on your mind
Then come the words that you’re struggling to find
A world that don’t change and his arm like a vine
till he’s lifting you up by the shoulder.

Waited too long
You can’t hold it back now you’re lost in the song
To enter a world where you could not belong
only lay hypnotized in the smolder.

Cotton is shame
But when you’re alone then you’re primed for the game
The way you’ll go out is the way that you came
To touch is to know that you’re feeling the same
And next thing it’s all coming down.

Light on your mind
It hurts when you know he’s not looking to find
Anything more than to have a good time and that
you were the one he could roller.

Melted again
Everyone knows it’s the heart of these men
To lower you down till you can’t rise again
then they turn to a friend and grow colder.

You will remain
Just hold your hands close to the fire of the pain
And in the end only the fire will remain
The men will return to the light where they came
And next thing it’s all coming down.

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Hands on My Head


There are different types of songs I guess. This is one of those songs that you hear playing in your head which you assume will annoy people, but you write it down anyway, just in case it matters somehow. In general, I try not to judge songs too much since their meaning changes to me over time. Lots of songs which I once thought were dumb started to seem important to me in hindsight.

Hold it together & fight through the mud
You will find him there.
Close your eyes tightly the fingers you feel
A spider through your hair.

Hands on my head will you steady me, steady me
There’s too much I’ve seen.
I only thought things would be wonderful
I didn’t know he could be mean.

I loved a dream.
I loved a dream.

Hands on my head could you steady me, steady me
Show me who I am.
Winds on my mind they are blowing me, blowing me
Blowing me round in circles again.

Sometimes I feel like I could do so many things
Running fast & far.
Finding myself in another place, other place
Who took me here? Who drove the car?

I loved a dream.
I loved a dream.

Hands on my head could you steady me, steady me
Guide me through the dark?
Keep touching me til I’m ready so ready then
Let my mind restart.

Scanning my eyes through another town other town
Always gray and blue
Searching again for the boldest man, oldest man
He will be you.

Forces of air are you trying to speak to me
Why do you blow on my mind?
Help me to be just one person, the same person
All of the time.

I loved a dream.
I loved a dream.

Download MP3:








Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Videos

Second in the Line (Video) (& my desire to drown in brown)

Recently I have been obsessed with the color brown… in the past few years, my life has been so immaterial… always using the internet & social media to escape physical reality… now I am hoping my life can become all about the physical world and I can crack it open like a big fat nut.

I just want to go to restaurants and buy clothes covered in little flowers and meet people with physical bodies that don’t smell bad. I want to have a big red car and drive around to see the mountains and coal factories without worrying about the price of gas. I want to drive all the way to the ocean and buy a house right next to it. I want my houses to be glossy & historical, like lacquered chestnuts. I want to spend my time wondering if I detect notes of blueberries in a bottle of wine. I want to eat sushi. I want to pay people to massage me with their elbows. I want to stop at gas stations and grab red bulls for the road, checking to see if they sell pink t-shirts as well. I want to collect Fiestaware from the past, when they made it in earth tones and pastel colors. I want to deck my dogs out in expensive plaid collars & take them to the salon to get their hair puffed up like a couple of politicians. I want to buy them takeout from expensive restaurants. Eat lobster rolls with them every Sunday. I want arch supports for all my shoes. Pictures hanging in frames from my walls. To buy expensive jewelry and keep it in a pink safe. To panic if the scent of my body lotion does not match my shampoo. I want to be a lady who lunches & worry about whatever they worry about. AHHHH… this is a great dream! Being buried alive in the material world… I want this so bad!!!



****
Oh- this has nothing to do with the song though… just my thoughts of the moment. Here are the lyrics….

To adore me you must
Go before me
Build a path for me.

Laying stones down you
Must prepare the ground
Build a home for me.

Remember when you fall so far
Remember I was there for you to give you something more

Softly touch me we’re noplace now- this is just a dream.
Fingers through your skin- you were never just a friend.
We are family.

Looking your eyes
All the lies
Beautiful to me.

You say you won’t hurt me no more
Well what else are friends for?
Someone to believe.

Remember when you fall so hard
Remember I was there for you, always safe and warm.

Softly touch me we’re noplace now- this is just a dream.
Fingers through your skin- you were never just a friend.
We are family.

Closing my eyes, I
See it all unfurl
I know how it ends.

Dark things fly towards me
Still you walk before me
Vanish round the bend.

And all the stars that beg for you
To sparkle in your time.
Remember I was there for you
Second in the line.

Softly touch me we’re noplace now- this is just a dream.
Fingers through your skin, you were never just a friend.
We are family.

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Videos

Pieces (Video)

I have been meaning to publish this for a month but I hate dealing with images of myself so much that I always procrastinate. Hearing myself sing makes me feel weird too.

Also, things have been so strange recently that I haven’t been able to play music until today, when finally I climbed back into being myself.

2020 was a weird year for many people due to all these bad planets forming a single mega-planet in the grim sign of Capricorn. It had been a dark year for me filled with many fears, mostly relating to money, marriage, totalitarian governments and eternal boredom. When I realized a couple of these planets were about to be moving into Aquarius- breaking up this monster after a year of total darkness- I got a little carried away with celebrating & think I accidentally got possessed by something in the process.

Which is why I have spent the last month setting up my Cardano stake pool & promoting it, trying to get people to stake, helping them with technical difficulties etc. If you knew me, you would realize how completely out of character this is. I would wake up in the morning, start watching tech videos & be at it- learning and helping others- until 5 am. Suddenly it was really easy for me to learn & understand these things. I found them interesting. It was very odd considering how much I hate all things tech. I can barely bring myself to record my own songs.

Eventually though, I was so different from my regular self that I started to get worried. I was so mental- basically 100% brain. I couldn’t even relate to the idea of ever having been a musician. Plus, I couldn’t turn it off. Solving tech problems & learning from dusk till dawn. I started to feel like the girl in that fairy tale who puts on dancing shoes that make her dance until she drops dead.

So, I tried to do an intervention on myself. I took down all the Aquarian things I had hung up on my walls so they are blank pink slates again. A few days later, I am starting to go back to normal. Luckily, I seem to have retained what I learned, so maybe I can be myself AND a tech zillionaire.

As you know, dying of poverty has been one of my dominant fears over the past few years, so to have hope of a different future feels…. well, it feels like the darkness has ended. And hope is actually what Aquarius stands for.

I LOVE YOU AQUARIUS! I’M SORRY FOR ALL THE BAD THINGS I SAID ABOUT YOU IN THE PAST!! Thank you for being my friend.


Live in a sea of broken glass
Pieces were shining everywhere
Somebody turned to walk around
Somebody watching from the stairs

Pick up the piece to find you
Has this always been your face?
Pick up the piece behind you
Has this always been your face?

Watching the moonlight dripping down
Watching the starlight spin away
Everything moves around and round
Never a way to make you stay

Pick up the piece to find you
Has this always been your face?
Pick up the piece behind you
Has this always been your face?

Mirrors were broken on the ground
Pick up a piece to keep me sound
You leave the room and then you’re gone
Watching the walls spin round & round

How can I not believe in you?
You were the one man standing there
Everyone knows the things you do
But underneath it all you care

Swim in a sea of broken glass
Throwing the rainbows on the wall
Breathing so hard I have to gasp
Caught in the ecstasy I fall

Pick up the piece to find you
Has this always been your face?
Pick up the piece behind you
Has this always been your face?

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Minerals, Mountains, Crystals, Ice, and White Music & Songs Uncategorized

Pieces

Live in a sea of broken glass
Pieces were shining everywhere
Somebody turned to walk around
Somebody watching from the stairs

Pick up the piece to find you
Has this always been your face?
Pick up the piece behind you
Has this always been your face?

Watching the moonlight dripping down
Watching the starlight spin away
Everything moves around and round
Never a way to make you stay

Pick up the piece to find you
Has this always been your face?
Pick up the piece behind you
Has this always been your face?

Mirrors were broken on the ground
Pick up a piece to keep me sound
You leave the room and then you’re gone
Watching the walls spin round & round

How can I not believe in you?
You were the one man standing there
Everyone knows the things you do
But underneath it all you care

Swim in a sea of broken glass
Throwing the rainbows on the wall
Breathing so hard I have to gasp
Caught in the ecstasy I fall

Pick up the piece to find you
Has this always been your face?
Pick up the piece behind you
Has this always been your face?





















Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Minerals, Mountains, Crystals, Ice, and White Music & Songs

Follow Me Down

Years ago I fell into a tunnel made of white
Held my arms against me & they bound them to me tight.

Follow me down. Follow me down.

Was it night or was it day, the lanterns seemed the same
Dimming for a moment and then bursting into flame.

Follow me down. Follow me down.

Did I fight? Did I bow?
I’ve been afraid for so long now
No way to still remember what I thought I’d found.

Falling forward on my knees
To think of all those precious things
To wait for all the time again to come around.

Follow me down.

Did the walls reach out to touch me with their silky hands?
Colder than the snow yet dry and sparkling like the sand.

Follow me down. Follow me down.

Do you think he cared but was possessed by something black?
Wandered so far in the night he couldn’t wander back?

Follow me down. Follow me down.

Did I cower? Was I proud?
I’ve felt alone for so long now
No way to see the way that things would come around.

Falling forward, rise again
To tangle with so many men
To wait for all the softer things to come around.

Follow me down.

If I wander further will I find the stairwell down
Leading to that chamber where the trees grow underground?

Follow me down. Follow me down.

Climbing up, fall again
I’ve tangled with too many men
Too late to see the way for things to start again.

Maybe still I did succeed
I stood there proudly on my knees
Nobody knew my hands were full of soft diamond things.

Follow me down.

And great…… it seems like the sounds gets weird at the higher parts but I still have zero idea how microphones & recording devices work. They are so complicated. Of course I should try to figure out how they work, but it seems so complex that there is really no hope of ever making progress in that realm. And so boring I could possibly die. I must be resigned to my fate and continue on. Just realize it sounds better in person & make adjustments in your imagination. Thanks!






Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire

I love you, Crazy Fingers


And if you lead the way I promise that I’ll go
Running fast because I love the mask you wear for everyone to see you.

And still you move the way that I can understand
Running fast with darkness in your vision, sunlight in your hand you know

The way they go your way for a while
Then turn, you beg
Faggot get down on your knees and finish with a smile

And if you meet me there your fate held on a string
Spinning fast because you know the way they need your pain for all to see it

But first tell me the thing that I must understand
Oh my god, I love you Crazy Fingers, sunshine in your hand you know

The way they go your way for a while
Then turn, you beg
Faggot get down on your knees and finish with a smile.