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Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs On My Own Videos Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

where u go

My recording machine broke & I don’t know what to do about that so at the moment I am just gonna record songs on my phone as videos cuz I don’t know what else to do.

Don’t be sad you’re never alone.
Take my hand why would you say that now?
Cause you could only love me when I was gone.
Close my eyes I try to fight it but I
Something inside me knows where you go

Daylight comes I wait for the change
Wrap your golden arms around me why
Could you only love me when I was strange?
Laugh and smile I try to hide it but I
Something inside me knows where you go

So I’ll try to run away
It’s the hardest thing to do
I want to cling to you tell you all the things
That you don’t care about

But if I decide to stay
Just to watch you slip away
And all the while the orange
Bleeding out.

You don’t come and then come the moon.
So he fall like fire upon me but why
Could you only love me when I was new?
Drag myself towards the mirror help me
Something inside me knows where you go

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs On My Own Purple, Magic & Sorcerers

Please Get To The Part

High as dust and I’m walking home
Try to breath but I’m never gonna get it right.
Cuz I know that when I get home then I’m all alone
To face another spooky night.

I know. People tell me everything come and go.
People tell me everything’s far then near no fear my dear
Was is will be but they don’t get it.

Please get to the part where you hurt me.
Please get to the part where you break me down and cry.

In the day you can act that way
Like its all okay and nothings gonna cut me.
Smile and drink like you never think
Like you never feel and nothings gonna drag you home.

Midnight crawling on the graves in the moonlight
Wait for him to tell you goodbye
You’d cry but you’re just too high
Then the open sky fall down upon you.

Please get to the part where you hurt me.
Please get to the part where you break me down and cry.

So many skies
What are those things that move whenever I open my eyes?
So many dreams
I need to find a world where I can be weak so I try to breath but I can’t find it.

Please get to the part where you hurt me.
Please get to the part where you take me down and cry.

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Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs On My Own Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

The Stream

Well you know… I watch the way that you flow.
Moving around in a circle to pull at your beard
with the moon in her light.

Then you sit. Pull out a new cigarette.
Fire in your hand then you stand and you say that the
time got away so good night.

Then you go. Why?
I want to crumple by your side.
Follow you down to the stream where you go
when you go to just be there alone.
Are we home?

Through a screen…. lost in your own world of green.
I want to know what you mean when you say that you can’t
find a way to pull through.

Turn your eyes. So you won’t look at one little lie?
Running away like the words that I say were the
problem and nothing’s on you.

Then you go. Why?
I want to crumple by your side.
Follow you down to the stream where you go
when you go just to be there alone.
Are we home?

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Astrology Writings

Simple’s Guide to Saturn

There is one dangerous misconception regarding Saturn that must be corrected- that Saturn is a realistic planet.

Saturn is realistic in the sense that he is a hardworker who builds everything solid in our world. He understands the material plane and society’s structures. HOWEVER….

When left alone in his room, lying in bed and listening to music, no planet is more delusional. Because Saturn is meant to build castles on the earth, not castles in the sky. With Saturn’s energy locked in your head, you look at the future and see a graveyard. You look at yourself and see a loser. You are viewing life through a dark and distorted lens, not a realistic one.

Understanding Saturn’s delusional nature is the key to thriving during Saturn transits (or in general if he is heavily emphasized in your chart.) Once you realize something is a delusion it doesn’t have the same grip on you. And this is critical cause those who believe Saturn’s negative messaging can end up wallowing in self-absorbed misery and wasting this precious energy.

Because these same fumes that are toxic when they live in your head can be turned into diamonds by actually doing something in the real world. Your goal during Saturn transits is to turn something gaseous into something solid.

I will repeat for those of us who are female. The first and most important step during Saturn transits is to recognize that depressive perceptions are hallucinations. You are not the rotting skeleton you see in the mirror.

The second step is to get to work.

You need tangible goals during a Saturn transit. You need to become a more productive person in some area of your life. Just as you can feel a Saturn transit (depression) without ever looking at an astrology chart, so can you know exactly what you need to do without consulting an astrologer. Saturn is usually about doing the obvious. Taking steps towards achieving long term goals and resolving glaring life problems.

But if you are in a situation where there isn’t a clear course of action, then make one up. As long as you do some form of work, you will gain under Saturn.

Saturn on the moon for example, is frequently a time when people brood and get depressed. But why? Instead you should be working hard around your home and learning the skills to become a domestic goddess. Take a cooking class. Become a better cleaner. Beautify and fix things.

With Saturn impacting the Sun, don’t stay home because you aren’t in a party mood. Socialization, friends, self-expression, these are now things you need to work at. So exert yourself in this realm. Saturn’s work ethic can be applied to any arena of life bringing feelings of satisfaction and mastery which go way deeper than fun.

If you are a naturally depressive person who has trouble moving into action- or perhaps the transit is so grim you just need a booster- here are a few tips to consider.

  1. Make it official. All work is important work in Saturn’s eyes. So take yourself seriously no matter what you are doing. You might consider taking an official course or getting a certificate related to your goals. And when you get that certificate, frame it and go out with friends for a celebratory dinner. Have them make a toast to you. Take your efforts seriously.
  2. Be a joiner. Saturn is a man of this world and wants to contribute something. Saturn transits are not about you- they are about what you bring to the table. Don’t isolate. Especially if you struggle with motivation, join clubs and associations relevant to your goals and interests. And remember, no work is too trivial to take seriously. You could start a housekeeper’s association where ladies meet to share cleaning tips.
  3. Friends in high places. Saturn loves upward mobility. So especially when Saturn is transiting Venus or the social houses, make a list of people you admire and befriend them. Or a list of people it would be useful to know. While Saturn tends to dry up woozy romantic feelings, relationships with those you consider superiors can flourish under his watch. If you are having trouble with your spouse at this time (a common side effect) try social climbing or becoming pretentious together. It’s a time to strive, not a time to cuddle. Give Saturn a constructive outlet and he can improve everything he touches.
  4. Go gay. Saturn loves pomp & circumstance, so if you need a motivation boost try gaying it up. Bring your teacher a polished apple. Wear a beret to art class. Wear a chef’s outfit in the kitchen and pair wines with your meals, pronouncing them in French. Whatever you are doing, make it a little extra until it finally brings a smile to your face.
  5. Fire. I don’t know if this will work for others, but my go-to Saturn tip is surrounding myself with fire and warm colors like red, orange & yellow until I gain enough zip to start moving in the right direction. Saturn can feel dim and heavy so an extra dose of zing can be just what the doctor ordered.

One last thing… during a Saturn transit sources of support and comfort you once enjoyed may disappear. However, this is temporary so don’t panic. It is just Saturn’s way of forcing growth in new directions. Whatever you lose will return, just as it did for Job.

But for now, detach and swizzle from any losses. Forget about the doors which are closed and focus on those which are open. Saturn transits only last a few months to a few years so you want to seize the opportunities you currently have. If you don’t, for 28 years the results will haunt you.

The key takeaway from astrology is really that time itself is alive and always changing, infusing your life with new possibilities. It is safe to focus on the now because the future will open up soon enough. Open doors will close and closed doors will open.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Purple, Magic & Sorcerers Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Videos

Love (Video)

Sunset comes at half past 8
The sun drops through the garden gate
The glory then a darker shade of blue.

See your eyes at least I think
They sparkle like a darker drink
A sink into a world I never knew.

But somehow then when I approach
So careful as to not encroach
Just touch you with the lightest touch of glove.

Still I want to feel you there
Surround me like the darkest air
And fill me up with your breath like a glue.

Is this Love? What is Love?
I never knew.

See you standing there you smoke
A pervert in his evening cloak
A bather in a silver wave of time.

Sun goes down we watch it fall
Together pressed against a wall
Then run my finger down your nose’s line.

Somehow in the evening dusk
From far away it comes to us
The purple silk that grips us like a glove.

Look into your eyes and see
A presence looking back at me
I want to drink from your lips til I’m blue.

Is this Love? What is Love?
I never knew.

40 eyes around us see
The air it swirls in ecstasy
To switch directions now it’s switching back.

Watch string from your pocket fall
To climb its way back up the wall
Enticing you to follow in its track.

Grip your hand- no please don’t go
Cause everyone I ever know
They leave me there just clinging to a glove.

Smell your neck but I can see
Your eyes have drifted off of me
Into the sky to spy the bedded moon.

Is this Love? What is Love?
I never knew.

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Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Purple, Magic & Sorcerers Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized

Love

Sunset comes at half past 8
The sun drops through the garden gate
The glory then a darker shade of blue.

See your eyes at least I think
They sparkle like a darker drink
A sink into a world I never knew.

But somehow then when I approach
So careful as to not encroach
Just touch you with the lightest touch of glove.

Still I want to feel you there
Surround me like the darkest air
And fill me up with your breath like a glue.

Is this Love? What is Love?
I never knew.

See you standing there you smoke
A pervert in his evening cloak
A bather in a silver wave of time.

Sun goes down we watch it fall
Together pressed against a wall
Then run my finger down your nose’s line.

Somehow in the evening dusk
From far away it comes to us
The purple silk that grips us like a glove.

Look into your eyes and see
A presence looking back at me
I want to drink from your lips til I’m blue.

Is this Love? What is Love?
I never knew.

40 eyes around us see
The air it swirls in ecstasy
To switch directions now it’s switching back.

Watch string from your pocket fall
To climb its way back up the wall
Enticing you to follow in its track.

Grip your hand- no please don’t go
Cause everyone I ever know
They leave me there just clinging to a glove.

Smell your neck but I can see
Your eyes have drifted off of me
Into the sky to spy the bedded moon.

Is this Love? What is Love?
I never knew.

This song was partially inspired by this shirt which made me feel so calm and controlled….. an evening librarian who quietly hums while filing books alone.

But as you can see from the background, the feeling of control was only a dream. And one washing shrank the sleeves to halfway up my arms, transferring me from library to insane asylum.
Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Purple, Magic & Sorcerers

A Friend

Don’t go insane; don’t pull your hair
Don’t you play the fool you poor poor girl now.
The sky is dark; the stars are dots
They are hiding in a black black swirl now.

You always knew that people smile
They extend their hand but don’t take it no no.
Because this life is never what it appears to be
When you’re crawling so low.

Don’t let his hand reach for your heart-
Have you asked yourself why he needs a friend?
Because he likes to hurt them.

Some people lie; they like to smile
And they’ll say the sweetest things that you crave
You’re lying down; you’re getting soft
You’re refusing to see things in a new way

From every side he’s moving in and you’re
Lying there but where can you go now?
You close your eyes imagining a new place
Where life could be different somehow.

Don’t let his hand inside your chest-
Have you asked yourself why he needs a friend?
Because he likes to hurt them.

You’ll stand alone; you’ll find a way
You won’t need nobody, no one, no no.
The sky is dark; the moon is grey
In that kind of way nothing’s certain oh no.

Crawl to the door, then stop & freeze-
Have you asked yourself why he needs a friend?
Because he likes to hurt them.

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia men Writings

First, An Apology to Men

Recently I have been writing a ton of blog posts but not publishing them. I have a lot to say but feel hung up about saying it.

In some cases, the things I want to share fall somewhat into the #metoo category. Although the excesses of #metoo (Believe Women. Believe the Victim.) are frightening, it is also hard to overstate the value of sharing true stories of victimization. There is simply no other way these processes can be understood and prevented.

We know this when it comes to wars and large scale atrocities. Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it. But the principle applies equally to the issue of predatory behavior in relationships, which- while less dramatic- causes just as much carnage in totality.

In astrology, the sun rules the government and husbands, while the populace and wives are ruled by the moon. With apologies to men, it seems accurate to say that governments and husbands are more likely to abuse power than the reverse. The people & wives have to be aware of this possibility to ensure safety. They need knowledge of what can happen, a clear sense of rights & boundaries so they can tell when these are being violated, and some form of power so they will have the possibility of fighting back if it comes to that.

Of course, the government also has to fear the population rising up against it. Likewise, women sometimes kill their husbands. But this most commonly happens as a response to tyranny (in the case of the government) and physical abuse (in the case of the husband). Conversely, men- who kill their wives far more frequently- generally do so in response to the woman trying to leave.

I know many men object to abuse being made into a gender issue and I understand the reasons for this. The fact is, some women are inclined to use false claims of victimization as a tool. I have known them. But the only reason this works is because it is believable. It is believable when you accuse a gorilla of tearing a sink out of the wall with its bare hands, less so for a cat. This is one of the risks of power. But pretending to not have power so that you can’t be falsely accused of abusing it is not the solution.

Lies breed lies and truth breeds truth. One facet of that truth is that women are more vulnerable in relationships. Men have more force and hardness built into the structure of their beings. They are less permeable. Marriage is like throwing a chunk of quartz and a chunk of calcite into the same pocket. If these differences are not accounted for, it is easy to predict which stone will get fucked.



P.S. I realize that when a person’s mind is far from root level concerns and focused on things like movies and restaurants, the power differential between genders and government overreach can both seem like the far-fetched concerns of the paranoid. Sure men CAN overpower women, but so what? We live in a post-physical power reality, right? Sure, governments HAVE killed their citizens, but like wasn’t that in the past?

A decade ago, my perspective on these issues was very different. I thought women could just as easily abuse men and there was no legitimate reason people needed guns. When you are focused on trying out new falafel recipes, it is easy to pretend these red levels of power don’t exist. But once you are forced to confront them, you see how these lower frequencies of life have actually been influencing your choices all along.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs

Cream Pot

 

 

Hand in the cream pot
with a silver spoon.
Times past remembered
in the month of June.

The fluid of time
Your face my mind

Dripping in milk
Framed by a black sky
Men walk on legs
I let them pass by.

One hand, pure white
Your moon, my kite

Fingers that slip
Slither into you
Wishing to touch
Wishing they knew you

Hand of the mother
in an apron string.
Face of the clover
through a silver ring.

The slime of night
I fly, I might

Words made of smoke
Changing forever
Tearing apart
Weaving together

One hand, one jar
To fill with stars…

 

Download MP3: Cream Pot

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire

The Red Bird

 

 

 

Ruby moon in the sky- please don’t upset me
Ruby foot upon the ground- you’ll never get me
You are the sort of man I like to
You are the sort of man I like to…

Ruffle my wings, you wake me from my slumber.
I smile to see you there, my little rumbler
You are the sort of man I like to
You are the sort of man I like to spy.

You know we all came here to fly, and I…
I like to fly through trees and search for those to kill
Find you I will.

A dark moon in the sky- you’ll never see me
I’m right behind you, dear, in case you need me
You are the sort of man I like to
You are the sort of man I like to…

You feel my wing it wraps around your shoulders
You press your body tight against the boulder
You are the sort of man I like to
You are the sort of man I like to spy.

You know we all came here to fly, and I…
I like to fly through trees and search for those to kill
Find you I will.

I close my eyes and press my ruby lips upon your face
I close my eyes and now we’re gone,
Gone, gone, gone, gone to a special place

Some say that we can never know the reasons why
But I believe we came on earth to fly and I…
I like to fly through trees and search for those to kill
Find you I will.

 

Download Mp3: The Red Bird