Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Minerals, Mountains, Crystals, Ice, and White Music & Songs

Follow Me Down

Years ago I fell into a tunnel made of white
Held my arms against me & they bound them to me tight.

Follow me down. Follow me down.

Was it night or was it day, the lanterns seemed the same
Dimming for a moment and then bursting into flame.

Follow me down. Follow me down.

Did I fight? Did I bow?
I’ve been afraid for so long now
No way to still remember what I thought I’d found.

Falling forward on my knees
To think of all those precious things
To wait for all the time again to come around.

Follow me down.

Did the walls reach out to touch me with their silky hands?
Colder than the snow yet dry and sparkling like the sand.

Follow me down. Follow me down.

Do you think he cared but was possessed by something black?
Wandered so far in the night he couldn’t wander back?

Follow me down. Follow me down.

Did I cower? Was I proud?
I’ve felt alone for so long now
No way to see the way that things would come around.

Falling forward, rise again
To tangle with so many men
To wait for all the softer things to come around.

Follow me down.

If I wander further will I find the stairwell down
Leading to that chamber where the trees grow underground?

Follow me down. Follow me down.

Climbing up, fall again
I’ve tangled with too many men
Too late to see the way for things to start again.

Maybe still I did succeed
I stood there proudly on my knees
Nobody knew my hands were full of soft diamond things.

Follow me down.

And great…… it seems like the sounds gets weird at the higher parts but I still have zero idea how microphones & recording devices work. They are so complicated. Of course I should try to figure out how they work, but it seems so complex that there is really no hope of ever making progress in that realm. And so boring I could possibly die. I must be resigned to my fate and continue on. Just realize it sounds better in person & make adjustments in your imagination. Thanks!






Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Purple, Magic & Sorcerers

The Magician (Album)

Since I am in the process of updating & readjusting the songs on my various albums, I wanted to save this version here, along with my explanation of magicians & how they are formed below…

At first this was going to be two separate albums: The Magician (songs about a magician) and Crazy 8s (songs about people being sacrificed, raped, and murdered). However, I have come to feel these albums are really one and the same, because it is the people who get raped and murdered who come back to life as magicians. Terror, shock, and horror are the parents of supernatural power. Why? I don’t know. I think of our souls as being minerals, transformed by circumstances good and bad. Circumstances sufficiently horrifying knock out a piece of our humanity and replace it with something animalistic, straight from nature.  Or, to put a psychological spin on it, being overpowered creates an obsession with power. Being overpowered by forces outside our control leads to a desperate need to extend our sphere of control. And so we turn to the occult.

However, before you run out and try to get murdered, keep in mind that this process of going through a black hole (as I like to think of it) will generally not work out in your favor. If, on the other hand, you have already been murdered, you may as well embrace the changes that have occurred and try to make the best of it.

So, what is a magician? Someone who uses supernatural power, of course. And what is supernatural power? It is the power of nature- not just whales and recycled paper, but all the power, life force and emotion built into the material world. Including factories, plastics, atom bombs and everything we consider bad. To me, coal, oil, the soil of a graveyard at midnight, or the frightening feeling of walking through a dense forest after dark best capture the essence of this supernatural power. It is black, rich, without morals, and capable of anything.

This contrasts it with spiritual powers, which connect to the divine hierarchy to enact change in the world. Spiritual powers are subject to the many rules and regulations of divine will. On the spiritual planes, power is never separated from wisdom. There are spiritual forces with more wisdom than power, but never the reverse. Therefore, connecting to the spiritual realm for help is generally safe. Perhaps you will get no help at all, but you are unlikely to be harmed.

Supernatural powers- or black magic, as they are commonly known- have no built in safeties, however. The forces involved make no judgments as to what should or should not be.  Therefore, the unwise, or (even worse) brave magician is almost certain to bring disaster on himself. The fact that his powers are borne of trauma, and he is likely filled with unresolved rage, terror, and confusion does not help at all. Most likely his powers will end up destroying his self and wreaking havoc on those around him. Think wife beaters, addicts, prostitutes… anyone whose life is filled with destructive black chaos… anyone with dark and obsessive emotions they cannot control.

So make it your goal to avoid going through one of these black holes, if possible.  The best way is to stay safe and not put yourself in harm’s way. When that is not an option, the second best choice is to fight as hard as you can. Whether it is a human or natural cause that is trying to take you down, if you try your best to win and defeat your enemies, no matter the outcome, you will come back stronger. Even if you are killed in a bar fight, so long as you fight your very hardest, you will not be sent through a black hole but instead be reborn as a man with giant muscles. No matter what the odds are, always pretend you have a chance, and fight accordingly. Do your best to crush your enemies and reach for the golden victory. Hold nothing back.

If, however, you have already been through a black hole (many are sent through as children, when they are too naive and trusting to know they should fight), the best thing you can do is to try to gather enough golden wisdom to balance out your black power. Gold is a dry and uplifting color that will drain out some of the seethingness and connect you to the angels.

So at any rate, these are songs about magic, magicians, and the color black.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Music & Songs

You Are My Home

When I don’t listen you hold a pillow over my face til I do.
That’s why I don’t think you will ever love me now- you’ll find somebody new.

And I swear I wouldn’t care so long as you felt it was wrong
to just grab me by the neck and throw me up against a wall
but when i ask you bout it you tell me that you don’t want to pop
but the crying noise just has to stop.

Sometimes I close my eyes and see a world that’s black with men as white as stars.
Just like a globe that I could shake and shake each time that things have gone too far.

Something I could hold just like a globe inside my hands
So I shake it and I shake it- oh look here comes a man
But he is trapped inside the globe- he’s only one inch high
There is no place to run and hide.

Give it just a little more time. This may only be in your mind.
There’s no way to say what is real and what is make believe you know.
Look at all the stars in the sky, girl. You could find a way to get high, girl.
You could fly away into a state of ecstasy and glee you know.

I know I will stay.
Life- lay your hand on me and guide me on my way.

I stay up late at night and make a list of ways to make you love me more.
I know it won’t succeed cause men they only love the ones they’re fighting for.

And I’d do anything on earth if you would fall in love with me
But there are things I can’t control, I don’t know what you want to see.
The only thing I know for sure is that you like to be alone
But either way, you are my home.

Download Mp3: My Home

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Videos

I am Bone (Video)

This is a song sung by a person who has been murdered. She is singing to her parents who are searching for her, not knowing if she is still alive. It is based on real events. 🙁

I hate dark & scary things. That is why I sometimes write songs about them.  Songs can spin bad things out of this reality into another one.  For the same reason, I rarely write songs about good things, for fear that I might accidentally spin them out of this world.

Here is the lyrics. That is wrong grammar, right?  but I am so tired of good grammar. What has it ever done for me? I just want grammar to match the way I feel. But there are people who judge intelligence by adherence to proper form. I know you aren’t that way, and it is part of why I like you so much.

But I do fear the judgments of others. Mostly, because I don’t feel confident in my ability to survive in this world. Maybe one day I will be walking the streets without food or shelter and the judgments people have of my value will be the only thing standing between me and death.

So, for the sake of survival I try to be dignified. But it is a heavy load to bear. Sometimes I wish I could be free- but you know where freedom leads- straight to the homeless shelter. Or the insane asylum. I also have a fear of being locked up in a mad house, with people using my own words to prove that I am out of my mind. It is a very easy thing for me to imagine.

Did I tell you about the time I was accused of wanting to murder a gigantic man and taken to be evaluated by psychiatrists who viewed my “eccentricities” (such as nail polish & proclivity for walking) as signs of a murderous personality? Did I tell you about the time I was said to have raped a gigantic woman? How would I even do these things and why? I don’t know. But what I do know, is that if you seem different somehow, it is easy for others to project whatever meanings they like onto these differences.

If you want to stay safe, dignity is the best choice. But it is a heavy load to bear.

*

Push through trees at night you’ll never
Find the one you’ll love forever.
Some die, some don’t; some will, some won’t
Follow me & I will show you.

Come find me, keep in mind we
won’t be coming home- I am bone.

Shine a flashlight on the dark ground
Time changes thing until they can no longer be found.
I once swore to go before you
Follow me & I will show you.

Come find me, keep in mind we
won’t be coming home- I am bone.

When they scream you’ll know they’ve found me
Terror and shock they will surround me.
Don’t shake don’t cry, I am nearby
Follow me and I will show you.

Come find me, keep in mind we
won’t be coming home- I am bone.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Uncategorized Videos

5 Dark Knights

 

There are 3 stages a person passes through on the road to spiritual glory.

  1. The White Stage: At this stage, a person develops discipline and character by following rules & seeking to please an authority figure. This could be a child obeying a parent, a student obeying a teacher, a Christian obeying God, etc.
  2. The Black Stage: At this stage, a person is thrust into the battle of life. Following rules and pleasing authority figures will no longer ensure a victory.  People are forced to step outside moral codes and do what nature demands to survive.
  3. The Gold Stage: If a person makes it through the black and the white, they will reach the gold stage and wear the crown of wisdom. To wear this crown, a person must be both powerful & benevolent and know how to balance the ideals of heaven with the realities of earth.

This song is about the second stage, the black stage- the world of knights.

Lyrics & more…

 

 

 

 

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Videos

Ear (Video)

 

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Uncategorized

Keep Confederate Statues

I feel so upset about people defacing and taking down statues. We should keep them.

It is like this- the future is gold, made of dreams. For the future, right and wrong matter, virtue matters.

But the past is black. Good and bad decay together to become the nutrients that enrich our soil. Morals have no sway here. There is just the richness and knowledge of everything that has been. Murder, pain, everything, stripped of its original meaning and turned into a rich black substance.

Removing monuments is just stripping blood and bones from our soil. It can’t make us better people. It just removes possibilities from our future by limiting the types of nutrients our soil contains. History will be re-absorbed and disappear soon enough, but we shouldn’t hasten that process.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs

Alone

 

Alone

 

In my hand I hold your stone
Dark glitter, black glass
I know I am alone.

Close my eyes I see your face
Surrounded by the black of space and the stars
They are friends to me now.

Alone- but not crying now
Alone- darkness glows somehow
Will God punish me? I don’t know
But in me something grows
Alone.

Close my eyes-I see the outline of your hand
Cross my arms- the dark face of another man
The dagger lying on the dirt, sleeping baby undisturbed
And the roots- they are friends to me now.

Alone- I see colors now
Alone- darkness knows me somehow
Will he find me here? I don’t know
But I know I will crawl to the throne
Alone.

In the night, something moves the air
On my skin, I feel his darkness everywhere
Tall trees bow and bend; I can not pretend
Power you have always been my friend.

Alone- no more crying now
Alone- darkness shows me how
Will God find me here? I don’t know
But I know I will reach for the bone
Alone.

Download MP3: Alone

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Uncategorized Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Golden Fingers

 

Checker Board
The Greenbrier, West Virginia

Watch the world with hopeful eyes
staring at its black disguise
hiding-where are you?

Underneath a checkerboard
knights and kings keeping score
crying- can it be true?

Under your purple eyes
black squares and white squares lie
fighting- which one is true?

Under your aqua shirt
hope is killed off by hurt
all on the surface is blue.

Don’t lose heart whatever life brings
you must believe that behind all things
Golden Fingers pull on the strings!

Prop your head up on your arm
in your eyes I see no intent to harm
that’s why I love you.

But the day will surely come
when you will kill or be the one
whom they pour their poison into.

Don’t be their fluffy sheep
sink into places deep
let evil flow through your root.

Hardened heart, inky skull
feast like a cannibal
all of the black squares were true.

Killing hurts and killing stings
but you must believe that behind the scenes
Golden Fingers pull on the strings!

When you’re dark, when you’re mean
doing things that shouldn’t be seen
I will be here with you.

Bodies lie, angels spy
we fall to earth, one day we fly
all of the white squares were true.

In the sky they saw
your hand and they understand
you did what you had to do.

Kill or be killed they know
that’s the way black squares roll
all of their tears were for you.

Don’t lose heart whatever life brings
you must believe that behind all things
Golden Fingers pull on the strings!

 

Download MP3: Golden Fingers

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Music & Songs Nashville The Odyssey

Women in Cages

 

This is another song that was inspired by the Odyssey and also the color black. At the time, I thought rap music was especially inspiring, so I borrowed a few things from it: 1) Sampling phrases from famous songs. 2) Including references to how tough and awesome I am (although it isn’t a song about me), and 3) Including my name in the song (although it isn’t a song about me).

One of the worst things about writing songs is that people tend to assume all the songs are about you, which can sometimes be embarrassing. Although it is even worse when people assume you have written a song about them. That is truly a nightmare.

Painting of naked woman in cage with blanket and black background.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Download MP3: Women in Cages