Category: Red, Soldiers, & Fire

Beautiful Man

Do you think that I could save you
If you aren’t even brave?
Do you remember when I found you
You were no more than a slave?

Driven round by two horses
Of indifference and desire.
You were laughing like a baby
You had not met the rectifier.

But every man will be tested
Every man is gonna bleed.
Line then up like horses
Bring them to their knees.

Yeah, every man gets tested
Is he a cheat a brute a liar?
And then they go back to the fire.

Look at you so tragic
A little tear drips down your face.
You’re crying now but only for yourself
And the trials you’ll have to face.

You’re figuring God is gonna skin you
He’s gonna wear you like a cape.
You’re noticing just how he laughs so hard
When the terror makes you shake.

But every man will be tested
Every man is gonna bleed.
He lines then up like horses
He brings them to their knees.

Yeah, every man gets tested
Is he a cheat a brute a liar?
And then they go back to the fire.

You know I want to love you
Your muscles and your arms.
You know the way I feel for you
I want to wear you like a charm.

But all the red is coming for you now
Down from heaven like a wave.
I’d sacrifice myself for you if I could
Beautiful man if there was a way.

But every man will be tested
Every man is gonna bleed.
Line then up like horses
Bring them to their knees.

Yeah, every man gets tested
Is he a cheat a brute a liar?
And then they go back to the fire.

Beautiful Man Download

Hey! And while you are at it please consider clicking below to send me a sweet tip! Now that I’m not married, feeding musicians is a cause close to my heart.

https://paypal.me/JulienAklei?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US

Tags blood, fire, god, horses, Love, men, sex, slaves, violence

Charleston, West Virginia men Music & Songs On My Own Red, Soldiers, & Fire

Care About Me

Saturday night inside a one horse town
He’s blowing in like a breeze into a tin roadhouse
The game is pretty easy when you choose them right
All you need is twenty dollars and a saturday night oh.

Cause you wanna be high oh
And you wanna feel free
But you dont care about me.

Cause when it’s easy to come you come
And when I bleed you go
That’s just the way that things are
I know.

I’m bleeding bullets like a horse put down
For the last three weeks I’ve been popping them out.
Blood in the kitchen and blood on the sheets
Blood down my neck when I walk in the streets but

It was all just a game yeah
Something fun and carefree
And you don’t care about me.

Cause when it’s easy to come you come
And when I bleed you go
That’s just the way that things are
I know.

The thing about men is when you let them win
They dance around in a circle and come back again.
But things is pretty different when someone gotta lose
Then theys putting on their shoes.

Cause men need to be high.
Men need to feel free.
And you don’t care about me.

Cause when it’s easy to come you come
And when I bleed you go
That’s just the way that things are
I know.

Care About Me Download

Tags blood, free love, horses, men

Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs On My Own Red, Soldiers, & Fire Uncategorized

The Voices

Do you hear all the voices?
They converge like a cloud
Clutch my head and I hide in a corner
They follow me follow me round.

They say life is a quick dream
Now it’s time to awake
Let your legs carry you to the river
And wash away every mistake.

You could fly!!!!

Watch my eyes in the mirror
How they float to the side
I can feel them behind me they stand
And they place all the thoughts in my mind.

They say life is an imprint
On a window so clear
First you have to release from your body
And then you’ll know everything’s real.

You could fly!!!!

Please, I just want to stay
There’s a man who I could love again
So I forced my hands thru the dirt
But what do you feel feel feel feel?

I feel hurt.

So you’ll come to the river
We’ll release all the pain
Like a shell sinking down to the bottom
Our hands falling on you like rain.

You could fly!!!!!

Please stop let me think twice
There could be fire, a new paradise
I dreamt red drops dripping like rain
But what do you feel feel feel feel?

I feel pain.

The Voices Download

Tags fairies, men, rain, red, river, suicide, voices, Water

Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs On My Own Red, Soldiers, & Fire

Easy

Post author By julien
Post date June 13, 2023
No Comments on Easy

One. Making his way cross the floor
The second don’t come anymore
Cause they only come when it’s easy easy.

Red lightning that flash in his eyes
Holding my face in a vise
This is the game that will please me please me.

Oh no lemme go I’ve been thinking about this so
Something is not right although
I love you so much beyond reason reason.

Haha funny bitch do you think that I need your lies?
Lying bitch now what words will you say this time?
After I put my dick on the line just to please you please you.

Cards cards on the table- no way
That’s not the game that they play
They only stay when it’s easy, easy.

Walk pacing around on the floor
Did you dream anything more?
More than the lessons they teach me teach me.

Oh no lemme go I’ve been thinking about this so
Something is not right although
I want you to love me and keep me keep me.

Ho ho gaming bitch do you think that I need you now?
Do you think you can turn this around some how?
I could jerk it right now to the thought of you bleeding bleeding.

Blood. One little drop just for you.
That was the first time you knew
This was a game that was easy easy.

Sigh. All of the things that you say
Holding my mind in a sway
All of the lessons you teach me teach me.

Oh no lemme go I’ve been thinking about this so
Something is not right although
When I close my eyes then it’s reeling reeling

And still I stay cause I want you to keep me from harm
Wrapped up like a fly in your beautiful arms
Drip drop from your mouth everything that you’re feeling feeling.

Swallow. Don’t snitch.
Shut your cunt mouth you dumb fucking bitch.
Are there voices do you hear their cries?
Answer me but only when I tell you that it’s time.

Easy Download

Tags blood, cards, games, lightning, men, red, violence

Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs On My Own Red, Soldiers, & Fire

Please Don’t Hurt Me

Okay this is a song. I hope it sounds like one but I am too nervous to listen because this is my first attempt recording by myself which I have to do since I moved out on my own which is very sad and scary but by the end James was just screaming at me all the time that he was terrified of me and I was a psychopath and I made it so his brain didn’t work and he needed me gone so he could think and I didn’t really know what to do so finally I did what he wanted, just like I always did, and left.

I was already enrolled in a program through the women’s shelter to be placed somewhere so they are paying my rent for the first year. If it wasn’t for that I don’t know what I would have done. I don’t understand what is going on with James, if he is suffering from something or messing with me, but by the end restrictions had become so severe that it was a feat to accommodate him. I started to take pride in my ability to contort into more and more ridiculous positions.

The rules went from not being allowed to ask questions to not being allowed to speak. At all. Because one word from me could be so disruptive to his brain that he would be compelled to stay in bed for three weeks recovering and missing important meetings.

But the more I was expected to stay perfectly silent & calm the more he would amp up the behaviors most likely to upset me and make them more and more obvious, such as his romantic interactions with other women. By the end, I just accepted this and remained unmoved. It was the only option left.

And he was still allowed to speak of course, since he was not the terrifying psychopathic one. Every day he would unleash on me multiple times about how I had ruined his life, stopped his brain from working, lost him a billion dollars that very day etc. By the end, not talking & silently accepting everything was no longer good enough because by then my very presence threw him into a state of terror.

I moved out close to 2 weeks ago and at first just felt extremely sad about losing this perfect love. But as time moves on I am starting to see other things that make me feel other feelings. Like fear. At home I was not allowed to be afraid of him. Because I was the terrifying one.

Setting up the kitchen in my new home. I really hope this works out. I have to admit I felt much safer with James at the wheel.

Please don’t hurt me.
Please don’t let them do me harm.
If they try let them die
By your arm.

Please don’t let them touch what’s mine.
Please no sneaking behind my back.
And all the treasures they defile
Bring them back.

Let me fly God let me fly
Let me watch the world below.
Blood is flowing in the streets
Let it flow, let it flow.

Let me see God let me see
Give me eyes on every side
And when they come again for me God
Let them die.

Always thought your way was love, I never knew a thing.
God is not sweet words, a smile, a home, a diamond ring.
God is not the man who stands by you when you kneel down to pray.
He only stands behind you when you slay.

You wanted me to rise and sing
You wanted me so tall
To kick and spit and elbow when they had me gainst the wall.

You wanted me to scream and curse
And bite them in the dick
And not to care what other people think.

If God lives he lives through us
so rise up from your bed.
And let him place the crown upon your head.

Please Don’t Hurt Me Download

Tags blood, death, flying, god

Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire Videos

Like a String (Video)

Like a piece of string dangling in something you wrote
Hanging there on a chair in the darkness and oh
Feel the clouds rushing in and I start to feel hazy

So I think about you like a drink in my mind
Stir it round pour it down and im wondering why
With your eyes to the side make me feel like I’m crazy

With your hair and the palm of your hand
If you wanted to I could believe.
All the things that nobody can teach you
You learn when you’re down on your knees.

You were lost in a world where the pieces don’t fit
Break a bottle in anger and stare at the bits
Beams of light on the stage casting diamonds so dreamy

Break a piece of a candle to hold in your mind
Your whole face is a mask no one knows what’s behind
But for now hold it down in the darkness we’re dreaming

There it stood open three feet between us
A whole world that nobody knew.
Close my eyes, maybe I could be dreaming
Cause sometimes I feel so confused.

When we step on the stage then we step in the war
My mind breaks I don’t know how to think anymore
Crumple down to the ground where the red lights are beaming

Say you won’t hurt me, the palm of your hand
If you wanted to I could believe.
All those things that we promise
To hold in the darkness where no one can see.

Tags anger, diamonds, glass, hands, red, string

Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire Videos

Like a Slave (Video)

(Originally published February 4, 2023 then lost in server crash & resurrected on this day.)

Since I am currently having a Saturn transit I am torn between my desire to crawl under a rock and that voice which tells you you must always press forward so I’m just going to publish this then go hide.

Cold tea, dance with me
Give me something more to eat
Hold my head & help me find the sun.

Red fire, warm & bright
Stay with me for one more night
Tomorrow we go pay for what we’ve done.

You are my red eye by & by
You are my fire come from the sky
Now take my head & tell me what I need to know this time.

Like a slave
I was placed on earth to follow.
Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong.
But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow
You just play; I sing along.

Words spin round and round
Only sky where was the ground?
Leave my house you dirty cunt I’m done.

Fist eye, hot head fly
Falling down the stairs was I
Hold my head & tell me I was fun.

You are my best friend by & by
You are my fire come from the sky
Now take my head and tell me what I need to know this time.

Like a slave
I was placed on earth to follow.
Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong.
But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow
You just play; I sing along.

Come to me love like a bone
The only love I’ve ever known
A spark of light then miles and miles of dark.

Burning hands and sparkly eyes
And miles and miles away the skies
To settle down around around us in the park.

Like a slave
I was placed on earth to follow.
Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong.
But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow
You just play; I sing along.

Tags dogs, fire, sky, slaves, sun, violence

Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire

Like A Slave

(Originally published February 15th 2023 then lost in server crash.)

Basically this is the audio to the video I just uploaded because I’m too lazy to do another recording. Well not too lazy exactly. Can I just rant for one minute?

Imagine you are a straight male musician & you love writing songs. But every time you write a song you are required to get fucked up the ass, beat up by three muscle men & left on the side of the highway to walk home.

That is how I feel because every time I write a song- which I like- I then have to record it which I hate. I hate wires and machines and weird pieces of black plastic. I hate computer interfaces filled with random squiggles. I have no idea what anything means. And just the mechanical nature of sound itself. Why is this staticy? Why do I sound a million miles away? I don’t know!! It all feels….. beyond what humans are meant to know. It makes me want to cry.

But now I must stop complaining. And remember the words of my friends.

Thorney: Inch by inch, it becomes a cinch.

Moxy: To every problem, there is a practical solution.

Dad/Nietzche: That which does not kill you makes you stronger.

Dad/Schwarzennegger: No pain no gain.

Dad: Bend over and grab your ankles.