Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Uncategorized

Man of the Earth

Do you ever feel like everything you say is completely wrong? I do. Not that there is something particularly wrong about it, but just that the whole realm of my thought & feeling is off.

I am hoping I can take some time away from both reading and human civilization for a while, living a life of manual labor, so I can clear my head and try to realign it with something more real. It is hard for me to do manual labor, though, because I have been brainwashed to feel that it is a waste of time. If I spend too much time on it, I feel guilty. That is just social pressure, though. My personal feelings are that manual labor is where its at.

Like, I would think, for example, that being a housekeeper would be much richer than working in an office. All the smells, textures, colors… creating  a world that is your own and getting to change it at will! How much more intelligent would you be if your didn’t spend your days eating other people’s ideas and vomiting them back up? Ideas that pass from human to human quickly become toxic. Our real ideas come from nature. And in manual labor, it is nature we are interacting with.

You can’t clean a cast iron pot without taking some of the knowledge of iron into yourself. You can’t bake a loaf of cornbread without absorbing a touch of corn’s power- the ability to be evil when evil is called for.* Cotton, wood, metal, plant, clay and fruit… all of it loaded with wisdom and new worlds… all of this loaded into our minds through contact with our hands, making us feel renewed. Inspired.

And yet, the social pressures I feel are always to do something dumb- such as read the “classics” of literature. Some of which are okay- mostly the ones written for children, I think, and the ones written by those who aren’t writers. But most are just belabored retchings of unoriginal ideas, filled with human waste, created only to impress.**

But I guess I don’t need to pit books & manual labor against each other. There is no reason you can’t do both, if you are the pretentious sort. But still, my ideal will always be the illiterate savage, the man of the earth. This isn’t a rebellion against intelligence, as some like to say, just a different idea of where intelligence comes from.

One scholar and one man of the earth take a walk in the park.

*To learn more about my feelings for corn, see here & here .

**I don’t mean to seem completely anti-scholar. I do think scholars have their place and am 20% scholar myself.

 

 

 

 

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love

Goodbye Air, Hello Earth

Moving into a new home last year was an adjustment for me. For starters, all new places feel unbearably cootie filled to me, especially if they have been previously inhabited, and since this house is 111 years old, it is has been inhabited many times. (Including JFK, at least for  a day. And considering that he was a sex addict said to have sex multiple times a day, I like to think he may have done so in our house as well. Probably the guest bathroom, as was his custom when visiting a new place.)

Also, as much as I admire the down to earthiness of West Virginia culture, it can make me feel claustrophobic at times. Truthfully, the culture of every place I have lived eventually makes me feel the need to escape. The sun shiny cultures make you stupid, the icy ones freeze your heart, the airiness of the West Coast leads you to make bad choices, the human density of cities makes your head go up your ass, etc. I can’t help wanting to be the opposite of the world around me, no matter what that world is like. Otherwise it can feel hard to breathe. Although I like like people a lot as individuals, I have a hard time dealing with them once they have turned into giant globs sharing the same thoughts and perspectives.

At any rate, the point is that when I first moved here the home and world around me felt foreign and oppressive, so I compensated by making my home a symbol of airiness and flight. Painting the walls sky blue and covering them with airplanes and butterflies, clouds, stars, and lightening bolts.

But now it has gotten to be too much and my whole world feels as though it is empty and blowing around in the air. It is time to redecorate my home to make it feel like the heaviest, stuffiest place in the world. Every symbol of air must be replaced with a pumpkin or a bear. Everything white must be painted brown. Everything high must be placed on the ground.

Of course, last time I made my home as earthy as I could  it made me feel stuck, depressed and flat, as though I was being pressed beneath a heavy book. However, it turns out that was also the time Saturn was passing over my horizon, which makes everyone feel as though their life is a dry and burdensome drudge. Maybe this time the impact of earth will be quite excellent. I will let you know. 🙂

I painted this bookcase with some leftover ocher paint to be earthier. I think ocher and brown are the essence of earth. As are dogs. If you look carefully, you can also see some of my favorite collectibles in this photo, such as blenko water bottles and fiesta ware. The books in the bookcase are ones I would be embarrassed to be associated with (and the ones I read the most) which is why they must be kept upstairs. I would like eventually to have a case of books downstairs which have been purely selected for their pomposity.
Categories
Astrology Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia

My Life

The Kanawha River, one block over from where we live. I really like this river for some reason. Maybe it is the name, or the fact that rivers look extra nice when winding through mountains. I think this was the day I wrote “Park Man” inspired by how grey the river and the sky become in the spring. I have started to love the color grey. To me, grey represents everything that is hidden, but could potentially be known.

 

Recently, my life has fallen into such a hyper-mundane phase that it is hard to say anything about it. Setting the tone for a day of laziness and apathy, is my morning ritual of writing in my “ESP” journal, in which I write down some of the colors & shapes that are floating in the air around me- along with my best guess at their meaning- until I get too exhausted & find myself scrolling through facebook instead. I have been doing this for a few months now and am on my 4th notebook.

Aside from a couple things I learned “from the ethers” which sent me into a state of shock that has taken me about 2 months to recover, the funny thing about my ESP journal is how hyper-mundane it is. No mystic secrets of the pyramids, but an endless stream of details mostly about my husband’s life and business transactions. Why that? Why not winning lottery numbers or perhaps useful information pertaining to my own life? I don’t know. I guess I haven’t yet learned how to adjust the frequency of my antennae.
One rule of ESP seems to be- the more a person wants to keep something hidden or even push it out of their own mind, the more it shows up highlighted and spotlighted in the invisible realms.  Same with lies. It is as though there is a siren and a strobe light attached to them. Which has made me incredibly annoying to my husband, like a nightmare wife. Whatever little details of his day he would most like to forget, whatever tiny thorns are lodged in his side, are the first things to show up in my pictures.
The unrelenting trivia of it and the fact that most of the trivia is related to other people (usually husband, but not always), does leave my wondering what the point is. (Yeah, I was drinking straight lemon juice, SO WHAT!?!)
And since I was too in shock, for a while, to follow my normal routines,  I have also spent a lot of time indulging in languid and miscellaneous interests, usually involving either planets or colors. One day, for example, I lay in front of a green lamp to see what would happen. Being a practical sort of person, I hoped it would make me rich. Instead, it overstimulated my brain so much that it was impossible to sleep that night. In the place of sleep were red lights which flashed inside my body, each one lighting up a horrible image of catastrophes that could befall either myself or a loved one. I became painfully aware of how little I was doing in real life to stop these bad things from happening. I swore to myself that from then on, I would be a different person, living by the book, and dutifully following the advice of experts in every field. When morning finally came, though, my limbs were so weak I could barely move. By the time I regained my strength, the feeling of eminent death and disaster had faded, so I ate 2 king sized bags of M&Ms to celebrate & let my dog have her favorite dinner- spaghetti.
A happy day, at least weather-wise, at the New River Gorge. I am not trying to peer into his skull at this moment because I am terrified. We are near a ridiculous drop-off and I am freaking out.
Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Uncategorized

What is the sky made of?

Stars shine like mesmerizing, reaching their hands to me
False my man, you shouldn’t taken a stand if you wanted to be that free.

Shadows stretch themselves before me, won’t let me say no
Like a trail of women they will follow you where you go.

Night is long
Filled with something strong.

And when you walk away, you thought no one would realize
What is the sky made of? It’s made of eyes.

Star shine like mesmerizing, filling my heart with black
Though I travel here and there in the daylight I come back.

Shadows stretch out in the sand, I watch their bright eyes shine
Travels through the desert are just travels through the mind.

Time is long
Leaves you wanting something wrong.

And when you walk away, you thought no one would realize
What is the sky made of? It’s made of eyes.

Swords through hearts, black blood pours
Catches stars, seeps through doors.

Eyes fill the shadows stretched so languid on the dunes
Look away, my man, you shouldn’t reach that land too soon.

Cause if you walk away, you know that you will realize
What is the sky made of? It’s made of eyes.

 

Download MP3: What is the sky made of?

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Nightfall

This song, which I wrote around a month ago, turned out to be prescient, since the following weeks have been spent uncovering secrets and sitting around crying because of them. Oh well. At any rate, I am now left with the feeling that I don’t want to be me anymore. At least not the suffocating me I have grown accustomed to. All I really want out of life is to live on the beach in a tiny pink shack and do psychic readings for people. And have enough money to buy t-shirts, scented soaps, and fish sandwiches. And to be able to swim through the ocean every day with my eyes open.

Would I want to do music? Maybe… I don’t know. Some parts I don’t like, like having to record it and upload it to a website. The process is straightforward and takes very little time, but still I seem to dread it. I am a technophobe, maybe. Plus, it is lonely, but the alternative is to sing and dance on a stage with people watching and that has a hollow feeling as well. Maybe I just don’t feel the need to share anything of myself with the world in the first place. What is the world but a big hollow ball? Why did I ever decide to “express myself” to begin with? I can’t remember what the point was…

 

When it comes to gold and kings
When it comes to killing things
When it comes to what we know
Stairs that lead us down below

Nightfall, falling away
Nightfall, come and play
Nightfall, will you help us slide
into the place where secrets hide?

All along, we travelled through a star encrusted sky
But did you ever know he watched you fly?

When it comes to giving things
and the happiness it brings
When to bravery and pride
Ribbons on our horses tied

Nightfall, falling away
Nightfall, come and play
Nightfall, will you watch us ride
into the place where secrets hide?

All along, we travelled through a star encrusted sky
But did you ever know he watched you fly?

When it comes to time and space
We remain in the same place
When it comes to killing me
Lift the knife and you will see

Nightfall, tumbling bone
Nightfall, velvet home
Nightfall, bury us inside
to reach the place where secrets hide.

All along, we travelled through a star encrusted sky
But did you ever know he watched you fly?

 

Download: Nightfall

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Red, Soldiers, & Fire

Idealism & Compassion Lead to Violence

“Idealism leads to disdain for the present. A man destroys his world in hopes of gaining a better one.”  – Confucius*

In astrology, all events move through semi-predictable stages just as the planets move through the signs of the zodiac.

Compassion & idealism, though frequently touted as the antidote to violence are- astrologically speaking- the very things which give rise to it. A quick glance through history will confirm that sickening violence is usually preceded by a mass outbreak of idealism. But why?

Some points to consider:

  1. Idealism can lead to disenchantment with the way things are, making the present seem to have no value.
  2. Idealism can lead to disdain for the people around you, magnifying their flaws and making them seem to have no value.
  3. Idealism can blind you to the reality that things could be much worse.
  4. Idealism gives wings to your imagination, making you hope and believe in things that cannot be- at least not in the here and now.
  5. Compassion- which I define as love that has been spread out impersonally over large groups of humans- can have a dehumanizing effect, causing the value of an individual to shrink to insignificance next to the good of all.
  6. Idealism and compassion are linked to our higher self, but disconnected from our animal nature. Therefore, in high doses, they lead to abstraction and derealization. This disconnect from physical reality also leads to impractical thinking.

So the net result of extreme idealism is extreme dissatisfaction with the present coupled with a feeling that life could easily be much better. The people you encounter are fallen and insignificant. The people you desire to save are faceless and infinite. Who would not risk the maggot filled sandwich of the present for the banquet of the future? Who would not pull the fingernails off one bigot to guide a flock of lambs into heaven?

Violence becomes justified and impersonal. The idealistic man is primed for destruction. But will he have the energy to destroy? And what led him to become an idealist in the first place?

That is what we will consider next.

 

 

 

* Not really said by Confucius (as far as I know). But he might agree with the sentiment, since he was all about treating your current situation with dignity rather than yearning for a better one.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs

Cream Pot

 

 

Hand in the cream pot
with a silver spoon.
Times past remembered
in the month of June.

The fluid of time
Your face my mind

Dripping in milk
Framed by a black sky
Men walk on legs
I let them pass by.

One hand, pure white
Your moon, my kite

Fingers that slip
Slither into you
Wishing to touch
Wishing they knew you

Hand of the mother
in an apron string.
Face of the clover
through a silver ring.

The slime of night
I fly, I might

Words made of smoke
Changing forever
Tearing apart
Weaving together

One hand, one jar
To fill with stars…

 

Download MP3: Cream Pot

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire

The Red Bird

 

 

 

Ruby moon in the sky- please don’t upset me
Ruby foot upon the ground- you’ll never get me
You are the sort of man I like to
You are the sort of man I like to…

Ruffle my wings, you wake me from my slumber.
I smile to see you there, my little rumbler
You are the sort of man I like to
You are the sort of man I like to spy.

You know we all came here to fly, and I…
I like to fly through trees and search for those to kill
Find you I will.

A dark moon in the sky- you’ll never see me
I’m right behind you, dear, in case you need me
You are the sort of man I like to
You are the sort of man I like to…

You feel my wing it wraps around your shoulders
You press your body tight against the boulder
You are the sort of man I like to
You are the sort of man I like to spy.

You know we all came here to fly, and I…
I like to fly through trees and search for those to kill
Find you I will.

I close my eyes and press my ruby lips upon your face
I close my eyes and now we’re gone,
Gone, gone, gone, gone to a special place

Some say that we can never know the reasons why
But I believe we came on earth to fly and I…
I like to fly through trees and search for those to kill
Find you I will.

 

Download Mp3: The Red Bird

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Red, Soldiers, & Fire

Neptune in Aries

Neptune is the planet which rules society’s ideals- the traits that are valued and rewarded. As I wrote in a previous post, Neptune is currently (from  2011 to 2025) travelling through the sign of Pisces, causing sensitivity, compassion, victimhood and sometimes even insanity to be treated as virtues.

In 2025, Neptune moves into Aries, which should produce a drastic change in the qualities we value and demonize in others.

Pisces, as I discussed earlier, is an impractical, idealistic sign ruled by feelings, tears, and dreams. Pisces doesn’t understand why we fight wars. Pisces doesn’t understand why only people with money have nice things. Pisces doesn’t understand why football players tackle each other or people want weapons to defend themselves. Pisces doesn’t know why suicide is wrong, because for Pisces life is not an ultimate value. Pisces rules peace, freedom from pain, and death.

Aries, on the other hand, is a warrior, and lives in the physical world of animals where survival is the chief concern. He rewards those traits which help to ensure survival, such as strength, vigor, bravery, hard work and aggression. Also, those traits that lead to survival on a group level, such as patriotism.

Under Aries, people will show off their strengths, rather than using their weaknesses to get attention. The stories of abuse and mistreatment will give way to tales of victory and triumph. Rugged activities like camping, hunting, and boxing, may become more popular than yoga, meditation, and therapy. Excessive focus on feelings will be seen as self-serving and unproductive. Compassion will no longer be the chief indicator of goodness, but rather a good person will be one who is productive, hardworking and brave.

So here are a few tips to consider, to help prepare for the changes ahead. Maybe with some slight adjustments, in 2025 you could become the ideal person!

  • Forget about feelings, spirituality and the inner world. The external, physical world will become the only one that matters and you will be judged by your competency in it.
  • Beef up your survival skills. Grow food, hunt, cook, build your own home, shoot your own intruders. Maybe move to West Virginia!
  • Develop a work ethic. Under Aries, people will be expected to carry their own weight, and preferably the weight of a few others as well. Welfare may fall out of favor.
  • Be macho. The macho man may come back as an ideal while the desirability of effeminate men may plummet. Even for women, independence, bravery, pride and ballsiness may be favored.
  • Be a meathead. Consider focusing on classic meathead concerns, like big muscles, fast cars, switchblades and a willingness to fight.
  • Get in shape. Physical fitness and athleticism may become prime traits for people to possess. This would be a great time to stop writing in your journal and start playing basketball!
  • Become a patriot. To Pisces, who rules selflessness, patriotism is a vice. Pisces  wants us to sacrifice ourselves for the good of others and if we should die in the process, all the better!  But with Aries we return to the practical value of putting one’s own person, family and country first.
  • Consider a trade. With Neptune in physical Aries, those who work with their hands will rise in stature.  So consider becoming a plumber, carpenter or electrician. Also, jobs that require bravery, like policing, soldiering and firefighting will be held in high esteem.
  • Don’t go to college (unless you need to). Not only will trades once again rise in value, but knowledge (like women’s studies) that doesn’t hold a practical value may be viewed as suspect.
  • With food, go back to basics. Eat what is practical, affordable and reasonably healthy.  Like a peanut butter sandwich. Those who spend a large chunk of their energy acquiring trendy foods may be seen as delicate and self-serving.
  • Be a person of action. Aries is all about action. Don’t expect to be judged on your professed feelings and beliefs any longer. Be someone who can make a tangible difference. Be willing to show your love by pulling people from a mudslide, rather than calling them by their preferred pronoun.

The downside to Aries is that he does rule violence and war. He can also make people so brave and hot-headed that they become foolish, rushing into a fight when it would be better to hold back. Aries rules survival- but not stability.  That will not become an ideal until 2039, when Neptune moves into Taurus. That will be the time to earn respect by being as wealthy, fat, boring and stable as humanly possible. To buy land and a big house stuffed to the brim with Things. But Aries will not judge people on their bank account, only their willingness to rise to the needs of the moment.

Also…

  • Although Neptune won’t officially enter Aries until 2025, we should start feeling the effects trickle in earlier. In a sense, each sign is just a natural response to the excesses of the sign that came before it. The more people in society play a victimized Piscean role, floating through an inner world of pain, the more others are compelled to seek something brisk and capable. Perhaps Donald Trump is the first piece of the Aries forces that are to come. If so, resistance to him is futile, because he represents a course correction which is as necessary as it is inevitable.
  • Wherever Neptune goes, it reawakens forgotten values, but also tends to take ideas to ridiculous extremes. Neptune in Aries is certain to bring us lots of crazy fads and notions just as Neptune in Pisces did. I only hope it does not bring danger. It is no comfort that the last time Neptune entered Aries was the start of the Civil War.
Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized

Fly Away

Fly away in a little bit
Fly away in a cloud of strings
Like the sun on an icicle
You found your pair of wings.

When the time wasn’t over yet
When the time was ready to begin
When my heart was red lying in a box
Waiting for the sticking pin.

There you go, I know your eyes
Fire like a flash of pain
Feel it burn, feel it end
What is the name of this thing that remains?

Fly away in a little bit
Fly away in a cloud of strings
Like the sun on an icicle
You found your pair of wings.

There you go, the hand that wears the glove of velvet red
Like a woman, like a child, is the man afraid of his own death
Like a woman, like a child- the man who will never fight
Flickering beneath the sky and dying that same night.

Fly away in a little bit
Fly away in a cloud of strings
Like the sun on an icicle
You found your pair of wings.

There you go, the man I know whose legs are far too thin
Find the box and open it to push your stick pin in
Fire I know, death I know, I also know your eyes
Like a woman, like a child- the man who never lies.

Fly away in a little bit
Fly away in a cloud of strings
Like the sun on an icicle
You found your pair of wings.

Download Mp3:  Fly Away