Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs

The Rain

 

Like the string that brings the rain, you could feel him coming
Like the rain was dripping down
Overflowing for a while and no man could hold it
They just watched it pouring down.

First his hands were on your face- maybe this is love?
Then your head upon the ground
With his shoe upon your face, time to close your eyes now
Listen to the rain fall down.

Watch the window through the rain, hands upon your shoulders
Watch the things you knew fall down
First you feel a flash of pain, maybe this is love?
Watch the world you knew fall down.

Pour your heart into his mind, read the figures in the wood
There were things that you got right and some things misunderstood
Watch for shadows that approach, darkened faces that draw close
They’re the remnants of the fire; they’re the ones who love you most.

Like to watch the sky through lace, only for a moment
You could fly away somehow
Learn to watch the flow of days and the flow of moments
Like the fear they’re dripping down.

Like to watch the sky through pain, only for a moment.
You could fly away somehow
Learn to watch the flow of days and the flow of moments
Like the fear they’re dripping now.

 

Download MP3:    The Rain

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Purple, Magic & Sorcerers Uncategorized

Aquamarine

Hold my head in my hands and I struggle to think
I cannot understand, I can never be sure
Though I struggle to stand, still I have one more drink
Then I follow the hand that will open the door
And he will be there for sure.

In the blue of your room where you fall over me
I begin to forget when you hover above
Till our minds overlap, like a bubble I break
Spilling into your hand, dripping down on the rug
And we will live for love.

Change me. Change me.

You could teach me the things that you know
You could give me the money that you’ve made
Lay your hands on my fingers let me know
All the things that you want for me to say.

As long as you will stay

I tried so hard to pray, but they didn’t respond
They just fluttered away, so I reached for a pill
Till the waves came to crash, cold and aquamarine
I swore I would obey, I would follow your will
As long as you love me still.

Change me. Change me.

You will teach me the things that you know
You will give me the money that you’ve made
I don’t know where the things with wings they go
Why the sound of a scream they flow away…

And so I will stay.

I remained in the bath till you pulled me beneath
Till you pulled at my hair but I didn’t resist
I could feel you around blending into the air
Looking aquamarine and I gave you my wrist
And we will live for this.

Change me. Change me.

I remained in the bath till you pulled me beneath
Till you pulled at my hair but I didn’t resist
I could feel you around, blending into the air
Looking aquamarine and I gave you my wrist.

I could see in your mind, it was just like a dream
All the things that were gone and those that stayed
But I stayed there too long and I struggled to breath
But we always knew there’d be a price to pay.

Mp3: Aquamarine

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Music & Songs

You Are My Home

When I don’t listen you hold a pillow over my face til I do.
That’s why I don’t think you will ever love me now- you’ll find somebody new.

And I swear I wouldn’t care so long as you felt it was wrong
to just grab me by the neck and throw me up against a wall
but when i ask you bout it you tell me that you don’t want to pop
but the crying noise just has to stop.

Sometimes I close my eyes and see a world that’s black with men as white as stars.
Just like a globe that I could shake and shake each time that things have gone too far.

Something I could hold just like a globe inside my hands
So I shake it and I shake it- oh look here comes a man
But he is trapped inside the globe- he’s only one inch high
There is no place to run and hide.

Give it just a little more time. This may only be in your mind.
There’s no way to say what is real and what is make believe you know.
Look at all the stars in the sky, girl. You could find a way to get high, girl.
You could fly away into a state of ecstasy and glee you know.

I know I will stay.
Life- lay your hand on me and guide me on my way.

I stay up late at night and make a list of ways to make you love me more.
I know it won’t succeed cause men they only love the ones they’re fighting for.

And I’d do anything on earth if you would fall in love with me
But there are things I can’t control, I don’t know what you want to see.
The only thing I know for sure is that you like to be alone
But either way, you are my home.

Download Mp3: My Home

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Adult Halloween is for Weenies

I cannot get behind Halloween as a holiday for adults. Barf! How weenie!

Maybe it is due to psychological problems on my part, but I have no urge to get dressed up as a pumpkin or go trick-or-treating.

If we must have adult holidays (especially during the Scorpio season) couldn’t we at least choose something with a little teeth?

Here are a few ideas for adult Halloween traditions that would be far superior to a regressive fantasy dress-up day…

1. A day when men challenge their enemies to a duel. Not a fight to the death, just a good old-fashioned fist fight where the loser gets beaten to a pulp.

2. A day when everyone publishes their darkest secrets anonymously in the newspaper.

3. A day when people send love letters (anonymous or not) to anyone they currently or have ever had feelings for.

4. A day when people spend the night in forests, cemeteries, or -for extra credit- buried alive beneath the earth. (With a straw to enable breathing, of course. )

5. A day of truth & dare, where you ask people personal questions and if they don’t want to answer you select a reasonable dare for them to perform.

6. A day where everyone spends the daylight hours huddled in the basement in total silence.

7. A day when men compete to eat the most disgusting things imaginable.

8. A day when everyone spends 1% of their yearly income on gifts for a surprise recipient outside their family.

10. A day when men walk naked door to door at sunset, confessing their secrets & receiving a hard slap from women in return. (This is obviously the best idea of all.)

11. A day when men gather to take nude photo shoots with their male family members which are then published in the paper.

The possibilities are endless of course, but the point is this- We are adults! We no longer have to get our thrills by retreating to the pathetic amusements of youth!

Why not instead have holidays which challenge us and push us to step beyond the normal patterns of life? The time for pretending to be something has passed. Now is the time for actually becoming it.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs

Anything like Free

Stars that watch me from above
Stars that watch from within dreams
Everything I knew of love
Turned much darker than it seemed.

Oh God those stars around my head I let him
Lead me to a bed just like a golden flame, golden flame.
Fumble with my hands, I need something to help me
Stand so I can hold myself to the blade.

I never wanted to be anything like free
I only wanted something kind
But when you took me by the wrist that is the time I changed my mind.

Things that happen in the dark
In the alley down below
Where you’re not supposed to be
Where the good men never go .

But I must find the kitchen sink I need to have another
Drink this is no time to cry, time to cry.
Angels in the air we’ll gather for another
Prayer and then we’ll say goodbye, say goodbye.

I never wanted to be anything like free
I only wanted something kind
But when you took me by the wrist that is the time I changed my mind.

I read the book line by line
Men like women but not all the time

Because women travel in the dark
Women have no friends at all
We just take our greasy hands
Lay them right against the wall.

I saw a man upon the hill he tapped his hat to me
I smiled and that was my mistake, my mistake.
Angels can you stay I’ll need someone to
Pray upon my bones when they break, when they break.

I never wanted to be anything like free
I only wanted something kind
But when you took me by the wrist that is the time I changed my mind.

I only ever wanted someone who could feel me
Someone I could follow from behind
But when you took me by the wrist that is the time I changed my mind.

Download MP3: Anything Like Free

A not happy selfie. Are those taboo? Although- as I mentioned earlier- I am terrified of photos, the one exception is that if I am very upset I will take a photo of myself crying. I don’t know why. Pain witnessed is pain reduced, I suppose, and sometimes you have to be your own witness.

 

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire The Pine Fairy Videos

The Red Door (Video)

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized

i could love you

 

i could love you Poptart James

the touch of silk, the smell of rose
that’s life, that’s the way it goes, i know
the smell of rose and lemonade
close my eyes, not afraid, oh no

everyone that seems to care they feel so far away
imagine that love fills the air, imagine it will stay

i could love you, i
who could love me, not i

a hand that’s overgrown with hair
touch me, that means you care, i know
a hand that smells like lemonade
every day sweet love is made, oh no

big eyes circle round the town
go ahead and stare
big eyes circle round and round
don’t look for love, i looked, it wasn’t there

i could love you, i
who could love me, not i

the smell of lemonade and rose
close your eyes imagine that love flows
the feel of silk where petals lie
please don’t say that love can die, oh no

white clouds settle on the ground and fill the neighborhood
feel my head spin round and round, this must be something good

i could love you, i
who could love me, not i

 

Download Mp3: i could love you

Categories
Hurricane, West Virginia Red, Soldiers, & Fire

Candy Cane Lane

In my last post I wrote about how I need to begin expressing myself more for the sake of my own life. But, you may be wondering, from where will I get the discipline to follow through on this commitment, especially when it is something I am so afraid of? That is easy, I will buy the discipline from Yankee Candle.

I used to laugh at the people who shopped at Yankee Candle, taking $30 they probably needed for their electric bill to buy a giant “Home Sweet Home” candle, and another $25 dollars to buy a candle cozy shaped like an English Cottage. It seemed to me that they were probably buying overpriced candles to compensate for a lack of love in some part of their life. But I have changed my mind, and while I do still think that Yankee Candles generally serve as a love substitute, I no longer think this is pathetic. After all, who doesn’t need a little bit of extra love in their life? Nor do I think the use of love substitutes is dumb. After all, we all know that when a baby animal is taken away from its mother, it must  be given a stuffed animal to snuggle with, or it will probably die. Love substitutes are real, effective, and not beneath anyone’s dignity. We all need love, but we can’t always control whether or not we are receiving it. Which is where Yankee Candles come into play- to fill up the holes in our chest with colorful, scented fire power, so that we have enough warmth to make it through another day without needing to shut down chambers in our heart.

Candy CanesAs far as I can tell, Yankee Candles don’t smell better than less expensive candles; what I love about them is the glamour the store casts around their candles, elevating them from meaningless trifles to the most important aspect of your life! They do this partially through their elevated prices, but also through the candle accessories they sell, and the instructions they give you on the proper way to burn and care for a candle. They just make scented candles seem so darned important, which I think acts- especially to women- as a subconscious symbol that their emotional needs and desires for love are important. When you tend to your Yankee Candle, you are- through the powers of transubstantiation- tending to your own heart.

So yesterday I went to Yankee Candle to choose a candle that would symbolize the commitment to express myself. I selected Candy Cane Lane, a red candle, since red represents the courage to be true to yourself. I thought peppermint candy would be a good scent, since it combines the sugary sweetness of the heart with the minty freshness of the brain. I will burn it for four hours at a time, just as my candle consultant taught me. She warned me to never blow out my candle until the wax has melted all the way to the very edge. Otherwise the candle will start tunneling, and once the tunneling process has begun it can be difficult and costly to reverse. My candle consultant also sold me a gold Illuma-lid candle topper to maximize scent throw, and a wick trimmer to ensure that my wick stays 1/4 inch between lightings. So what if I can’t afford a warm coat or shoes for the season?

Just think about it- fire has been one of mankind’s best friends since the very beginning! Many believe it is precisely fire (learning how to cook with it) that caused humans to evolved differently from other animals. Cooking with fire enabled us to absorb more calories more efficiently, while reducing the work load on our stomachs. This enabled us to invest the extra energy into growing our brains. Without cooked meals, we would have weaker brains and stronger stomachs.

So couldn’t a bit of fire do the same thing for our hearts? Predigest for us some of the more difficult feelings, like loneliness and despair, while giving us a boost of warmth and light? Then we would need to spend less energy filling up the empty places inside. What part of us would receive that freed-up energy? My guess is the energy might be spent in fulfilling our purposes. I think once are heart are filled up on the inside they begin radiating light and warmth outwards into the world.

Maybe next time I go to the mall, I will pick up a candle cozy as well… perhaps the limited edition Christmas Teddy being crushed between two plush hearts.

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Music & Songs New Hampshire

Home

Back in the day, there was one Greek philosopher who believed everything is made of fire, one who believed everything is made of air, one who believed everything is made of water, and one who believed everything is made of earth. The one who believed everything is made of fire also believed that change and impermanence are the true nature of life (a common belief today as well). The one who believed everything is made of earth believed that nothing ever changes and that permanence is the true nature of life.

Perhaps there is one layer of life which is constantly in flux, and perhaps this layer tends to grab our attention because of its unpredictable, dramatic, and anxiety-producing nature.   But beneath that, isn’t there also something so constant and steady, so soft and reassuring,  that it is easy for us to forget it is even there?

This song is about that realm of  comfort that lies beneath the more teetering aspects of our lives- the element of Earth!!

The Letter: To Black Hole's surprise, a mysterious letter arrives in the mail.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Download MP3: Home

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Music & Songs New Hampshire

Earth

One day- I don’t remember why- I was feeling the need to get in touch with the Earth.  So I sat down to begin wondering about her and right away this song started playing in my mind.

Mary holds baby Jesus, wrapped in royal blue blanket.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Download MP3: Earth