They came on clouds to comfort me Lay down they said I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now They said one day they’d ride with me We’ll fly so far- invisibility.
Play play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
One man was fire, one man was rain What mad desire I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now Between the two, which one should I believe? I trusted fire the more- invisibility.
Play play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
And so fire came to get down on one knee And gift me pain I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now For I know that I was made to suffer and to bleed Hurt me more, invisibility.
Play play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
Since I am currently having a Saturn transit I am torn between my desire to crawl under a rock and that voice which tells you you must always press forward so I’m just going to publish this then go hide.
Cold tea, dance with me Give me something more to eat Hold my head & help me find the sun.
Red fire, warm & bright Stay with me for one more night Tomorrow we go pay for what we’ve done.
You are my red eye by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head & tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Words spin round and round Only sky where was the ground? Leave my house you dirty cunt I’m done.
Fist eye, hot head fly Falling down the stairs was I Hold my head & tell me I was fun.
You are my best friend by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head and tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Come to me love like a bone The only love I’ve ever known A spark of light then miles and miles of dark.
Burning hands and sparkly eyes And miles and miles away the skies To settle down around around us in the park.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
First bring the needle out Tighten up the tourniquet And now you feel the waters flow And now the whole world grows so wet
And now how blood is beautiful Liquid ruby through your veins and I will love you fire to fire Desire. You make me feel pain.
Falling back again With your eyes an inch a way And somehow turn from day to night Then somehow turn from night to day
And now you light your pipe again And now you speak your words they’re never true You feel the room spin round and round Theres only me and you and now
How red is beautiful Liquid ruby through my veins And I, I feel the world dissolve resolve You make me feel pain.
First bring the needle out Slide it through my eye oh I oh I How I could live for this So high above the world I fly I fly
I’ll love you fire to fire And I will love you flame to flame And I oh will I marry you, I do You make me feel pain.
(Saturn is squaring my Mercury causing me to hate everything that comes out of my mouth. If I sound like I’m eating a robot, that’s why.)
I’ve been in that phase again where I write a million blog posts then delete them cause I can’t stop imagining all the reasons people will hate me for anything I say.
Personally I love to read people writing about their own experiences. Whether it is trudging across Antarctica or making their husband a sandwich, I don’t care. But when writing about myself, the voices in my head start calling me a self-absorbed, navel gazing narcissist. Sometimes real people do too.
So then I become an intellectual. A defensive posture. It makes men think you are smart and respect you more. Sometimes it feels like men are highly cue based when evaluating intelligence. A woman in spectacles discussing science is intelligent. A woman gluing cotton bears onto a wreath is not. But I can’t maintain being intellectual. It feels like walking on my hands.
And the Heard-Depp trial is ‘triggering’ me. But I’m afraid to say this. If you want your biscuits, this is the time to say you believe men can be abused just as easily as women. You are supposed to say it is just as bad for a woman to push a man- even if he doesn’t move- as it is for a man to push a woman- even if she falls into a bathtub and hits her head. They are equally bad. It’s violence either way!
You are supposed to say that domestic abuse is a genderless crime. And male victims are too shy to come forward. Depp is helping to change this.
But it’s hard for me to imagine a female using physical force to dominate a man. Even moreso in a case like this where Depp is surrounded by body guards. Not to mention endless money, friends, family, staff, homes, vehicles, planes, yachts, guns, knives etc.
It wouldn’t be impossible. But the only way I could see it happening is if Heard managed to establish a guru-like grip over Depp’s mind. But it is clear from the trial that she was not holding his brain in thrall. Drugs and his demons did that.
Perhaps many do not understand the difference between physical aggression and abuse. Lobbing a ball of socks at someone is not abuse. Punching a man, grabbing a woman’s arm & leaving a bruise, screaming, calling someone a bad name… you can only determine the significance of these events by looking at the larger pattern. If Monica slapped Clinton for gizzing on her dress would that make him a battered husband? Not from my perspective. If she stabbed him through the eye with a pen then we are entering new territory.
Because women can commit acts of violence towards men. They could marry an old man for money then slip poison in his food.
But domestic abuse, imo, is when a person uses intimidation, manipulation, violence & control of resources to establish dominance over their partner, making them unable or unwilling to leave despite bad treatment.
How many men exist who are physically afraid of their wives but too scared to leave? How commonly do women cut off men’s access to money, social contacts and transportation while dominating their bodies and threatening to kill them if they escape?
I’m wincing because the next statement will probably shower hate on me, but it seems possible that trace elements of domination are present in many if not most heterosexual relationships. It’s more than men being stronger, it is also how they are built for war and competition while women obsess over connection, frequently placing them in the role of trying to please.
We try to make things gooey and soft. We want to wear matching pajamas. We glue cotton bears onto a wreath. Men don’t do this. I don’t know why. I’m not judging them for this. I’m just trying to state the obvious in a culture which punishes us for doing so.
Muffin papers. I had planned to start making Business Woman Muffins each morning to sustain me through the day. For a Woman On the Go. That hasn’t happened.
My opponent’s sign encountered while door knocking. Politics is another factor making me feel suppressed. One wrong word could cost me votes.
Especially in a Republican primary. Some conservatives judge you for bad language, sexual language, violent language etc. As though God fast tracks all Scorpios to hell.
A red picture of me to showcase my political dominance and power. I admire red, but also feel it is everything I will never be. Which is why I like to stay near it. Kiss the hand that feeds you.
A picture of stones resting on cotton.
Would you like to watch a two minute video of a dog’s face accompanied by a song about a frog?
Slipper’s name is substituted for Mr. Froggy’s though cause she loves the sound of it. I also like to read her Bible verses where it’s God talking directly to Slippers. “I shall cover Slippers with my feathers, and under my wings Slippers will rest.”
His hands upon me I was spun around. Tripping over my feet through the softly fading town
Brother no… nobody leads the way Brother no… nobody leads the way
He turns towords me when the evening shines His hands upon my head I’ll wait until my time
Brother no….. nobody leads the way Brother no….. nobody leads the way
First it seems to be a no go Then he tells you things will fade away All the while the winds begin to blow And so you stumble on the way
I know nothing’s gonna make up your mind now love This is just a matter of fact I try putting all my thoughts in a line although This will never bring him back.
His arm around my neck I start to smile We’ll watch the clouds pass by just for a little while
Brother oh…… I’ll let you lead the way Brother oh…. I’ll let you lead the way
First it seems to be a rainbow Then he tells me it’s a cloud of gray All the while the fog begins to grow so you will Wander through the day
I know nothing’s gonna make up your mind now love This is just a matter of fact I try putting all my thoughts in a line although This will never bring him back.
He holds me up against the wall til I can fly Scenes of peaceful villages fade in & out of mind
Brother no… I’ll let you lead the way Brother no… I’ll let you lead the way.
First he tells you its a no no Then he tells me I must seize the day All the while the clouds begin to grow And they grow colder on the way
I know nothing’s gonna make up your mind now love. This is just a matter of fact. I try putting all my thoughts in a line although This will never bring him back.
They say the rain will play that song again You know the way it will go. To feel his net within my mind again I’ll lead the way even so.
But if you’re gonna take a one time stand, then you’re a one time man You don’t know the way. If you want to say that they was wrong when they was barely born Save it for another day.
If you want to take the easy way and fly First you’ll walk towards the window by my side- Water running through the drain and Everything remains the same and
If you want to find the open road and go First you’ll walk towards the window then you’ll know- Clouds are foaming in the blue, man. Do you think that they’re reforming you man?
I feel the baker take her time again Stir slow, stir slow all of the corn. Green fields appear within my mind again Grow slow, grow slow, only born.
But if you’re gonna take a one time stand, then you’re a one time man You don’t know the way. If you want to say that they was wrong when they was barely born Save it for another day.
If you want to take the easy way and fly First you’ll walk towards the window by my side- Water running through the drain and Everything remains the same and
If you want to find the open road and go First you’ll walk towards the window then you’ll know- Clouds are foaming in the blue, man. Do you think that they’re reforming you man?
You know the way to pull that cold from me Pull hard, pull hard, pull with your hand. My hair was rope inside your hand, you see Pull hard, pull hard see if you can.
But if you’re gonna take a one time stand, then you’re a one time man You don’t know the way. If you want to say that they was wrong when they was barely born Save it for another day.
If you want to take the easy way and fly First you’ll walk towards the window by my side- Water running through the drain and Everything remains the same and
If you want to find the open road and go First you’ll walk towards the window then you’ll know- Clouds are foaming in the blue, man. Do you think that they’re reforming you man?
I’m in mute phase right now, so all I will say is that it is so easy to learn things others have already learned & so hard to learn things that no one has learned yet.
Oh & regarding this song, I will say one thing too. It is more or less about whether or not doing something stupid is a good idea. What do you think? Act now, think later has mostly been my approach to life. The only thing that has saved me is being so fearful, since usually my body will be too afraid (or grossed out) to do the dumb things I try to get it to do. But I’ve still managed to be dumb enough to learn that if you constantly act on impulse you are likely to one day find yourself in a crevice it will be hard to climb out of. Still, the actual moment of doing something dumb feels amazing, like a quick flash of enlightenment followed by 20 years in a Saudi prison.
If you are super tough though it may be that you can get away with doing dumb things more easily. You have to be grounded & practical if you want to be adventurous, otherwise you are doomed.
Take my hand but take it slowly Let it grow just like a lowly Bean towards a grain of light
Let it be so small and hidden Mixed into the air, forbidden With my mind alone I might
Fallen in the green where you wait around for me Fallen in between with your hand upon my knee
Kidneys shrink inside the darkness I know I must stay regardless Gonna do the best I can
Lay my hand down when he makes me I alone must save or break me This I swear I understand
Still I feel a cold like a shadow in my ear It’s that sound again and I wonder if you’re near
No nothing’s wrong- I told myself I would be strong but I let it slip away. Hey would you say the only way to get there is to fall Tumble to the day?
Hands go limp just like a baby Sun breaks through the glass and maybe You alone could make me smile
Life moves on then like a train To crash and clatter in my brain, but please Could you stay with me awhile?
Its that gold again, something warm against my ear Sun is pouring in and it feels as though you’re near
No nothing’s wrong- I told myself I would be strong but I let it slip away. Hey would you say the only way to get there is to fall Tumble to the day?
Feel you breathing, how could I? There’s no one here but I Feel your hands upon my face
Feel you standing square and solid Heavy arms upon me I… Now I feel a sense of place
If you found me there, if there was a way to meet me Could I follow you? No, I could never take your hand completely.
No nothing’s wrong- I told myself I would be strong but I let it slip away. Hey would you say the only way to get there is to fall Tumble to the day?
