Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Plants and the Emerald Kingdom Uncategorized Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Butterfly Wings

In your hand was the green
and it felt like the dream that you wanted for me.
You were muscular yes
so I gave you my best still your hand held the key.

And I pleaded, because I want to feel needed
to be broken and bleeded by something so bright.
Like you found me, your arms wrapped around me
the sun shining down me, I’m covered in light.

And you eyes like the sky
spinning blue round the mind that you opened for me.
Warming up to your smile
gazing back for a while still your hand held the key.

And you taught me to learn how to cower
to be overpowered by something so bright.
I conceded because I want to feel needed
to be broken and bleeded and covered in light.

With your hands on my arms, have I been here before?
With your hand in my mouth and a light through the door?
There’s no need to scream, there’s no need to escape
he is pushing me through space.

Though the asphalt was cracked
still I leapt like a dragonfly smiling inside.
You gave me butterfly wings
all the beautiful things that you grow when you hide.

Like a flower, to be overpowered
to learn how to cower and crush in the night.
In the doorway, your shadow before me
until there’s no more me, I’m covered in light.


Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire Uncategorized

Gonna See the River



It was nearly close to sunset
And the air it was swimming with flies
They were swatted without regret
As I laughed by his side

Dancing in the palm of his hand- fire
Dripping through the blood in his veins
I need to keep walking I can’t get tired
Falling back again and again

Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river

First his shadow fell upon me
Then he held my little hand in the fire
So I tried to lift my eyes up
But I was tired

Dancing on the back of my eyes now
People always said he was gay
But I saw him slip into the White Palm
That was a good day.

Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river

Suddenly the trees begin to smile
Twirl me on the pavement for a while
You could give me one more chance
After that I’m on my own.

Sink your fingers deep into the red
Ringing in the air around my head
You could give me one more chance
After that I’m on my own.

Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river

Not much time until the sunset
Just keep moving for a little more while
Though he killed you without regret
Still he always had the heart of a child

Dance into the river of regret
Dance into the river of pain
Dance into the aquador where we met
That was a good day.

Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river

 

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Videos

The Gleaming Atmosphere (Video)

I am still in a mute phase where I have nothing to say, but am forcing myself to write one quick paragraph anyway. It is funny, because I can write endlessly on Facebook but that is because I am simply responding to a sea of people and not having to pull anything from within myself. Left to my own devices, I am clear and flavorless jelly, I think.

Drag me cross the floor
Tell me that I’m dead
Music fills my ears
Lightning fills my head and it’s like ah….You’ve been there all along.

Push me on the ground
Pick me up again
Push me down and laugh at me
You don’t know who I am and it’s like ah…. I’ve been here all along.

And now I’m standing in a night so clear
The air so still
The stars so near
It’s like I’ve reached the gleaming atmosphere.

Staring at the wall
Water in my hand
No one there to hold me and I don’t know who I am
And it’s like ah… I’ve been here all along

Dreams that slip away from you somehow when I didn’t know how
To hold onto the bottle for myself.
Dreams that lead the way for your somehow when I didn’t know how
To follow down the glassy road myself.

Pull me to the stairs
Hold me in your hands
Who knows what you’ll do this time or where the dice will land
And it’s like ah… we’ve been here all along.

And now I’m standing in a world so blue
A sphere so far away from you

A stream that leads me down so low
There is no me I flow and flow

A world so far away and clear
The music plays, the stars are near
It’s like I’ve reached the gleaming atmosphere.

 

Meeting the perfect, ultimate man at the mall… but this was from a few months ago when malls were still allowed to be open. 🙁
Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Music & Songs

You Are My Home

When I don’t listen you hold a pillow over my face til I do.
That’s why I don’t think you will ever love me now- you’ll find somebody new.

And I swear I wouldn’t care so long as you felt it was wrong
to just grab me by the neck and throw me up against a wall
but when i ask you bout it you tell me that you don’t want to pop
but the crying noise just has to stop.

Sometimes I close my eyes and see a world that’s black with men as white as stars.
Just like a globe that I could shake and shake each time that things have gone too far.

Something I could hold just like a globe inside my hands
So I shake it and I shake it- oh look here comes a man
But he is trapped inside the globe- he’s only one inch high
There is no place to run and hide.

Give it just a little more time. This may only be in your mind.
There’s no way to say what is real and what is make believe you know.
Look at all the stars in the sky, girl. You could find a way to get high, girl.
You could fly away into a state of ecstasy and glee you know.

I know I will stay.
Life- lay your hand on me and guide me on my way.

I stay up late at night and make a list of ways to make you love me more.
I know it won’t succeed cause men they only love the ones they’re fighting for.

And I’d do anything on earth if you would fall in love with me
But there are things I can’t control, I don’t know what you want to see.
The only thing I know for sure is that you like to be alone
But either way, you are my home.

Download Mp3: My Home

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Purple, Magic & Sorcerers Red, Soldiers, & Fire

The Lights

‘Oh! I wish you were dead.
Then I could get some sleep, just please put a bullet in your head.
Oh! You better not speak again.’
Slide to the floor, let it hold me once more, my thick and heavy friend.

Here come the Lights! Here come the Lights!
I’ll follow them now, though they’re guiding me down
Because they’ve come to set things right.
Here come the Lights!

Oh! It’s like a parade-
Everyone dancing around in the sun while I’m searching for the shade
Or someone who can help me understand the things I’ve seen;
But the dark world engulfs me, he’ll never let go because I am his queen.

Here come the Lights! Here come the Lights!
I’ll follow them now, though they’re guiding me down
Because they’ve come to set things right.
Here come the Lights!

Oh! So this is the night?
And these are the friends who slide under the door in the guise of liquid light?
Oh! This is the Column of Heat!
You have arrived, now I will shut my eyes because I know it’s safe to sleep.

Here come the Lights! Here come the Lights!
I’ll follow them now, though they’re guiding me down
Because they’ve come to set things right.
Here come the Lights!

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Adult Halloween is for Weenies

I cannot get behind Halloween as a holiday for adults. Barf! How weenie!

Maybe it is due to psychological problems on my part, but I have no urge to get dressed up as a pumpkin or go trick-or-treating.

If we must have adult holidays (especially during the Scorpio season) couldn’t we at least choose something with a little teeth?

Here are a few ideas for adult Halloween traditions that would be far superior to a regressive fantasy dress-up day…

1. A day when men challenge their enemies to a duel. Not a fight to the death, just a good old-fashioned fist fight where the loser gets beaten to a pulp.

2. A day when everyone publishes their darkest secrets anonymously in the newspaper.

3. A day when people send love letters (anonymous or not) to anyone they currently or have ever had feelings for.

4. A day when people spend the night in forests, cemeteries, or -for extra credit- buried alive beneath the earth. (With a straw to enable breathing, of course. )

5. A day of truth & dare, where you ask people personal questions and if they don’t want to answer you select a reasonable dare for them to perform.

6. A day where everyone spends the daylight hours huddled in the basement in total silence.

7. A day when men compete to eat the most disgusting things imaginable.

8. A day when everyone spends 1% of their yearly income on gifts for a surprise recipient outside their family.

10. A day when men walk naked door to door at sunset, confessing their secrets & receiving a hard slap from women in return. (This is obviously the best idea of all.)

11. A day when men gather to take nude photo shoots with their male family members which are then published in the paper.

The possibilities are endless of course, but the point is this- We are adults! We no longer have to get our thrills by retreating to the pathetic amusements of youth!

Why not instead have holidays which challenge us and push us to step beyond the normal patterns of life? The time for pretending to be something has passed. Now is the time for actually becoming it.

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

I am a cloud.

Truly, I am a cloud & you can’t hurt me. I hope.

Right and wrong
Is not the things I know about.
A song- but I could calm the waters on a cold, gray day
You will know my name.

I am a cloud; you can’t hurt me!
Strike against me with your strongest hand
Blow you like a boy across the waters
Smash you like a board back to the land.

Filling up the sails of the sailors
You’ll never know where I lie
Cut me, it won’t make you any braver
Falling out of favor with the sky.

Right and wrong
Is not the things I know about.
A song- but I could still the waters on a cold, gray day
You will know my name.

I am a cloud; you can’t hurt me!
Fall upon me with your heavy hand
Run away and yet I seem to follow
Clinging to your whiskers like the sand.

Creeping like a fog above the waters
You’ll never know where I lie
Curling round your shoulders like a vapor
Sucking from your lungs another sigh.

Forty stars against the light of day
Forty stars that draw away, away, away.

Right and wrong
Are not the things I care about.
A song- but I could cool the waters on a cold, gray day
You will call my name.

A picture of heaven, where there are 2 soldiers for every rabbit.

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Red, Soldiers, & Fire

Idealism & Compassion Lead to Violence

“Idealism leads to disdain for the present. A man destroys his world in hopes of gaining a better one.”  – Confucius*

In astrology, all events move through semi-predictable stages just as the planets move through the signs of the zodiac.

Compassion & idealism, though frequently touted as the antidote to violence are- astrologically speaking- the very things which give rise to it. A quick glance through history will confirm that sickening violence is usually preceded by a mass outbreak of idealism. But why?

Some points to consider:

  1. Idealism can lead to disenchantment with the way things are, making the present seem to have no value.
  2. Idealism can lead to disdain for the people around you, magnifying their flaws and making them seem to have no value.
  3. Idealism can blind you to the reality that things could be much worse.
  4. Idealism gives wings to your imagination, making you hope and believe in things that cannot be- at least not in the here and now.
  5. Compassion- which I define as love that has been spread out impersonally over large groups of humans- can have a dehumanizing effect, causing the value of an individual to shrink to insignificance next to the good of all.
  6. Idealism and compassion are linked to our higher self, but disconnected from our animal nature. Therefore, in high doses, they lead to abstraction and derealization. This disconnect from physical reality also leads to impractical thinking.

So the net result of extreme idealism is extreme dissatisfaction with the present coupled with a feeling that life could easily be much better. The people you encounter are fallen and insignificant. The people you desire to save are faceless and infinite. Who would not risk the maggot filled sandwich of the present for the banquet of the future? Who would not pull the fingernails off one bigot to guide a flock of lambs into heaven?

Violence becomes justified and impersonal. The idealistic man is primed for destruction. But will he have the energy to destroy? And what led him to become an idealist in the first place?

That is what we will consider next.

 

 

 

* Not really said by Confucius (as far as I know). But he might agree with the sentiment, since he was all about treating your current situation with dignity rather than yearning for a better one.