Finally, a much needed song in which the King of the South defeats the King of the North in battle, or plans to anyway.

To live in a real life Stuffington’s Hall is a fantasy I dream of day and night- the coziest, stuffiest and most pompous home in the world, decorated mostly in shades of brown, filled with leather bound libraries, stone fireplaces, gleaming wood antiques owned by former presidents, and dark paintings of grumpy looking men framed in gold leaf. Or glorious paintings of triumphant generals crushing their enemies in battle.

 

 

Stuffington's Hall

Men, we will stand at the top of this hill;
when we see them approach, we will swoop
down and kill them. Their blood on our
hands, we will lift them up high as
the sparkling sun beams down from the sky.

Yankees they work hard, them Yankees they try,
but November the 1st is the day that they die.
Bless their sweet little hearts; rockaby
in the grave. We will fight for the flame;
and the flame we will save.

We are fire; they are ice-
they will chill us no more.
We will bury their bodies beneath
the dance floor of Stuffington’s Hall.
Please won’t you come, come to the ball?

Now there are two kings-
there can be but one.
He is King of the Ice; I am King of the Sun.
He is sleek and so young; I dumpy and old.
He has made it clear he wants my story to never be told.

From my leather bound books, he would
smudge out the ink with his fingers in gloves
made of synthetic mink. Though his men are alright (and
they’re armed to the gills), we know God is with us-
trapped in the nook of our frills.

So don your gray lace ladies,
don your silk hats.
Twirl round the fruit punch that bubbles in vats.
Tweet, tweet so high-
puffing like cotton upon our blue sky.

We are joy;
they are tears.
We are hopes;
they are fears.
It is us who predates them by hundreds of years.

Old fingers, bold fingers, gold fingers- me!
I am the ruler of all that I see. And I see stars
languishing behind their cold metal bars.

Old fingers, gold fingers, bold fingers- wait!
Til they reach the valley, then don’t hesitate-
swooping down in a wall, and then
join me for a dance in Stuffington’s Hall.

 

Download MP3: Stuffington’s Hall

Truly Old

11 Aug
0

Truly Old

Pink and green, all alone
Guess you never really had a home.
Circles form, fires shine
You alone stand behind

To learn the ways
To burn the pain away
To find the gold
For you alone are truly old.

Chicken leg, gnaw the bone
Make your bed curled against a stone.
Circles form, fires shine
You alone are left behind

To see through things
To learn from bearded kings
To find the gold
For you alone are truly old.

Morning gold, wake in dew
Little bugs fly all over you.
Tiny bugs, tiny wings
In the end, you are a friend to things.

To feel
To know what’s really real
To touch the shine
Another world is left behind.

Fires shine, do not go
Never circle round their glow.
Fires shine in the night
Independent of their light

You alone are truly old
You alone are truly old
You alone are truly old
You alone are truly old.

 

Download MP3: Truly Old

 

 

Normally, when James asks me what a song is about, I tell him I don’t really know. But in this case it is clear- this is a song about a giant named Big Stuff who dreamed of having a parade thrown in his honor. He saved up all his money and gave it to a man who was supposed to make the parade happen. But instead, the man disappeared with the money and left Big Stuff feeling so dejected and humiliated that he sat in a near catatonic state, barely rocking back and forth in a rocking chair, until the next phase of his life began.

I know that gay and straight pride parades have been in the news recently, but this song has nothing to do with them, at least as far as I am concerned. Big Stuff’s story actually took place around 10 years ago, but it is only now that I am getting around to telling it.

Big Stuff

Big Stuff- a real life giant with an endless appetite for the finer things of Life.

 

Purple lace, paint your face
Wait for the cold rain to go away
Today is your big day.

Candy sticks, pink balloons
All of their eyes will be stuck to you
Stuck with the sweetest glue.

Velvet boots, comb your hair
Part down the middle then gloss it with gel
Put some gel in your mustache as well.

In the mirror–look! What do you see?
Could it be you? Could this day truly be

Big Stuff’s Parade, Big Stuff’s Parade
Every gold coin that you saved, you saved for
Your special day, proud and gay
Shining the way that you knew you could
This day is going to feel good.

Purple stripes on a pole
The one that you’ll hold when they lift you up
Onto your satin throne.

Caviar in your pants for you to taste
When your dream comes true
When every eye falls on you.

Look in the mirror and what do you see?
Could it be you? Could today truly be

Big Stuff’s Parade, Big Stuff’s Parade
Every gold coin that you saved, you saved for
Your special day, proud and gay
Shining the way that you knew you could
This day is going to feel good.

But look around, Big Stuff, where is the man
Who took your gold coins in the palm of his hand?
The streets are still empty, no crowds have arrived
No floats to be seen, no flags in the sky…

You were tricked! He took your coins, but the flags never flew
The sun never came out, the crowds never gazed on you
Now you’re rocking and rocking back and forth in your chair
Rubbing the glossy gel out of your hair.

I was tricked! I was tricked! you mumble to yourself
and for the next seven months you will say nothing else.

Big Stuff’s Parade, Big Stuff’s Parade
He needs to learn that the world doesn’t turn
Just for satin lace on his face
Now that he’s bungled his one chance to shine
Will Big Stuff find peace of mind?

 

Download MP3: Big Stuff’s Parade

The Golden One

19 May
0

 

Feels Good

 

I watched the sun fall through the dirt
Inside, something hurt
Though I waited for you, you did not return.

Sun rise, harsh and mean
Eyes burn, what does life mean?
Could there be another place, a world that can’t be seen?

Is God real? Does he understand?
I press my face into your wrinkled hand.

I want to touch the golden one.
I want to walk in his golden sun.
(When you crawl, life can be so easy for you.)

I want to give everything away.
I want to shrink every single day.
And be small, down upon my knees for you.

Your eyes fall upon my face
My brain goes still
and in its place is a silent space.

Your hand upon my head
Buttered tea and a cube of bread
Memories, what do they mean?
Were they only dreams?

Is life real? Can anybody know
The way to truly please a man of gold?

I want to touch the golden one.
I want to walk in his golden sun.
(When you crawl, life can be so easy for you.)

I want to give everything away.
I want to shrink every single day.
And be small, down upon my knees for you.

And every time I fall so low
Watch out, his love flows into my heart
There is no pain; there is only gain.

And every time I see his eyes
Come within an inch of mine
Shine, shine, shine, light divine- all I have is thine.

Am I real? Why try to understand?
I only need to reach out for his golden hand.

I want to touch the golden one.
I want to walk in his golden sun.
(When you crawl, life can be so easy for you.)

I want to give everything away.
I want to shrink every single day.
And be small, down upon my knees for you.

 

Download MP3: The Golden One

42 Years

7 Apr
0

 

42 Years

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

42 years in a place where nothing shines
63 years in a world where nothing’s mine
I crawl; I beg
There’s a face up on the wall but he does not return my call.

Tell me God, what did I do wrong? I did everything you said
I organized my sock drawer and poured shit upon my head
Please don’t make me be the person to remind you
Please do not forget the people who defined you.

Everybody told me that someday I would see
You were just a taker; you took all your gold from me
Still I scraped myself on your stone
Threw my body on your altar and begged you to take me home.

Tell me God, what did I do wrong after 40 years of pain?
I cut myself so badly that my blood poured down like rain
Please don’t make me be the person to remind you
You should not forget the people who defined you.

You are a diamond in a world where nothing shines.
You’re my friend within a place where nothing’s mine.

I walked through the bright red door you opened up for me
Lay my heart upon my eyes; I did not want to see
The hell I paved in gold
Everything that I destroyed and everything I sold.

Tell me God, what did I do wrong? I was there for you each night
I bore the nails into my fists; I held the screams in tight
Must I really be the person to remind you?
You did not exist until the day that we defined you.

 

Download Mp3: 42 Years

Golden Fingers

27 Jan
0

 

Checker Board

The Greenbrier, West Virginia

Watch the world with hopeful eyes
staring at its black disguise
hiding-where are you?

Underneath a checkerboard
knights and kings keeping score
crying- can it be true?

Under your purple eyes
black squares and white squares lie
fighting- which one is true?

Under your aqua shirt
hope is killed off by hurt
all on the surface is blue.

Don’t lose heart whatever life brings
you must believe that behind all things
Golden Fingers pull on the strings!

Prop your head up on your arm
in your eyes I see no intent to harm
that’s why I love you.

But the day will surely come
when you will kill or be the one
whom they pour their poison into.

Don’t be their fluffy sheep
sink into places deep
let evil flow through your root.

Hardened heart, inky skull
feast like a cannibal
all of the black squares were true.

Killing hurts and killing stings
but you must believe that behind the scenes
Golden Fingers pull on the strings!

When you’re dark, when you’re mean
doing things that shouldn’t be seen
I will be here with you.

Bodies lie, angels spy
we fall to earth, one day we fly
all of the white squares were true.

In the sky they saw
your hand and they understand
you did what you had to do.

Kill or be killed they know
that’s the way black squares roll
all of their tears were for you.

Don’t lose heart whatever life brings
you must believe that behind all things
Golden Fingers pull on the strings!

 

Download MP3: Golden Fingers

The Golden Ring

21 Dec
0

 

1.
Up and down the stairs I ranCamels
with a scepter in my hand
How to chase the doubts out from my mind?

When the only life I’ve ever known
is to strive for absolute control
and to pull on every string that I could find

To my talismans I cling
I am scared of everything
He knew one day he’d grab the golden ring

2.
On my back I saw the stars
I remembered fireflies in their jars
How to pull the fire out from the flame?

Can I make the bad ones fall and
crush them into pieces small
and somehow extricate myself from blame?

In my ears are bells that ring
I will conquer everything
He knew one day he’d grab the golden ring

3.
Ladies dance and ladies sing
they toss their hair; they wear a ring
they don’t amount to anything I’m sure

But I will cut each finger tip
with stony eyes I’ll watch them drip
I’ll stand in puddles red upon the floor

Are there wise men- I don’t know
I grow the way that flowers grow
spreading from their center like a star

I made my bed, I lie in pain
it cools the fever from my brain
but my seeds upon the wind will travel far

Sing the song that roses sing
do not believe in anything
He knew one day he’d grab the golden ring

4.
On my back I saw the stars
they spread out wide they were my arms
the burning flames that sparkled were my hands

I held my hands up to my face
I gazed into that burning place
so many bright things I could understand

I sing the song that roses sing
I will see through everything
He knew one day he’d grab the golden ring

 

Download MP3: The Golden Ring

 

Fingertips ruffled like lace
Shadows spill like coffee on your face
I know you would prefer something easier

Cotton sheets curl around your leg
Heart sleeps on your pillow like an egg
I know you would prefer something breezier

Lost in the mirror I am dog chained in the snowGolden Crown
Limp in the legs and circle round; no place else to go

beaten down
lost in brown
ears fill with a buzzing sound
when i close my eyes, i still see the golden crown

Morning wakes drenching us in gold
Hot head always quick to scold
I know you would prefer something dreamier

Hot head always something wrong
I squirm, eager to belong
I know you would prefer something creamier

Cream in your coffee black; watch me fill it up
Overflow and drip and spill; watch me lick it up

beaten down
lost in brown
ears fill with a buzzing sound
when i close my eyes, i still see the golden crown

Sleeping on the floor at night, do you hear me breathe?
Butterflies and unicorns, eager to believe

Close my eyes when they start to burn
Swollen shut talking out of turn
I know I should have mentioned it earlier

Rest my head on a moldy towel
Thick and thin, forever and now
I know I should have been something pearlier

Dipped in a cotton cloud, that’s my little girl
Nothing’s real and nothing’s wrong
In our little world

Home sweet home
Dog and bone
Old friends calling on the phone
Holding hands with everyone you’ve known

beaten down
lost in brown
ears fill with a buzzing sound
when i close my eyes, i still see the golden crown

 

Download MP3: The Golden Crown

Throne of Ice

22 Sep
0

 

I read somewhere that all serial killers must love two colors- purple and black. Black brings in the violence, and purple leads them to murder for reasons that are fanciful and grandiose.

Not that lovers of purple are more likely to be violent. If anything, they are probably less so. A few days ago, I got a dog named Lavender Slippers. Her favorite color is light purple and she is the most sweet and gentle dog ever. I imagine she has her fanciful side though, because every time she sleeps her legs make strange movements, as though she is dancing in a field of butterflies.

I could probably write a book on the color purple and the people who love it, since it is one of my favorite subjects to think about. But for now, I will just point out that you don’t really want evil and purple to get mixed up, unless you fancy results that are as theatrical as they are horrifying.

 

Throne of IceBeing

Throne of ice, throne of snow
When you go out
Nobody knows where you go
On your evening stroll.

Cobblestones and autumn lights
Fantasy takes purple flights
Nobody knows the beauty you bring
There is a world where you are king.

Your eyes are cruel
With signs of incipient insanity
Butterflies fly fly
Through the air you breathe.

Your mouth is water logged
Your tongue it swims and swirls in a
Purple flood to subsume your love
With blood, with blood.

You would wear lace if it weren’t out of place
Ruffles and bows, powder on your face
Necklaces and stacks of rings
There is a world where you are king.

Pain and ice, blood and blade
Nobody knows the choices you made
They weren’t there when the angel flew
To lay his visions over you.

Your eyes are cruel
With signs of incipient insanity
Butterflies fly fly
Through the air you breathe.

Your mouth is water logged
Your tongue it swims and swirls in a
Purple flood to subsume your love
With blood, with blood.

A purple scream, a careful slice
Lesser people pay the price
But you remember your moment of need
The whole world stood to watch you bleed.

They stood and watched on that autumn day
When you grew wings and you flew away
Away from the sounds of your own screams
You found a world where you are king.

Your eyes are cruel
With signs of incipient insanity
Butterflies fly fly
Through the air you breathe.

Your mouth is water logged
Your tongue it swims and swirls in a
Purple flood to subsume your love
With blood, with blood.

 

Download MP3Throne of Ice

Three Kings

14 Sep
0

 

Three kings lower their crowns
Lift them from their heads and set them on the ground
I know I let you down.

I remember you highBig Snake
Gold star in the sky
Please try to believe me– I never wanted to lie.

Back then I lived in a cloud, my mind in a daze
As I danced like an animal up on the stage
And at midnight he carried me back to his home
So I could chew on his body like a dog on a bone…

And now I must atone.

Three kings lower their crowns
Lift them from their heads and set them on the ground
I know I let you down.

I remember you proud and tall
Head high on the wall
Please try to believe me– I’m sorry that I didn’t call.

But the buttons on his phone were too sticky to touch
And the scabs on my wrist started hurting too much
Cause at night they would open me up with their tools
And then lick at my body till I started to drool…

I disappointed you.

Three kings lower their crowns
Lift them from their heads and set them on the ground
I know I let you down.

Please accept regret for the things I can’t change
For the awkward moments I cannot rearrange
I know I don’t deserve your grace.

Cause the chicken they fed me
I knew it wasn’t fresh
Still I buried my teeth into its withering flesh
And I saved up the bones to keep track of the days
Till he came into my cage and just swept them away.

Then he walked like a king up the stairs to the light
While I was tied by a rope to a permanent night
I know I should do something, something other than freeze
Cause the sock in my mouth tasted like a disease
And I tried to think something, tried to think something smart
But the walls would turn wavy and then crumble apart…

I know I broke your heart.

Three kings lower their crowns
Lift them from their heads and set them on the ground
I know I let you down.

Download MP3: 3 Kings

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