Push me back onto my feet
Where life can bring so many things I know
No where to belong.
Push me back onto the wall
I wont need you catch me when I fall
Water on my own.
What I feel is calm
What I feel is slow
Push me to the wall
Down onto the floor
Step inside the ring
Push me to the side
What I feel is you
What I do is hide.
Close your eyes or go to sleep
One million ways to never feel a thing
Do you want to take that ride?
Close your eyes then find a way
Another world is never far away
Just three cuts and then you fly.
What I feel is calm
What I feel is slow
Push me to the wall
Down onto the floor
Step inside the ring
Push me to the side
What I feel is you
What I do is hide.
Push me back onto my feet
Where life can bring so many things I go
Moving through the crowd.
Lost inside I’ll find a way
One million ways to never see the day
Turn your eyes onto the ground.
What I feel is calm
What I feel is slow
Push me to the wall
Feel the water flow
Step inside the ring
Push me to the side
What I feel is you
What I do is hide.
Pictures come just like a dream
Then fade I don’t know what I should believe
Were you really there at all?
Were you there when I was down?
Were you the one carried me to ground?
Water for a home.
What I feel is calm
What I feel is slow
Push me to the wall
Down onto the floor
Step inside the ring
Push me to the side
What I feel is you
What I do is hide.
To be pulled in all directions simultaneously, with no one thing having greater or lesser claim on you is disorienting.
Maybe if I had more money then I could enjoy blowing in the wind b/c I wouldn’t fear being dashed upon rocks at any moment. I may have gotten my income up to $500 a month however, due to having a second gig each week.
Maybe the air is blowing me in the right direction and in the end it will all be okay. My plan for being single had been to paint little signs with flowers & bible verses and hang them everywhere. To make God my replacement husband & gravity center. But the reality is too chaotic for that.
And also, although God is superior to a husband in the sense of being all powerful, all knowing & perfect, he is inferior because you have to use your own brain to connect with him and my brain is too overwhelmed already. There is no space to associate with more beings of the sky.