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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Uncategorized Videos Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Looking for a King (Video)

A song about kings, as we approach the month of kings. Sometimes I think the whole winter is the time of kings, it is so solemn and intent on not letting anyone have fun. Plus, it is a time when the amount of money you have comes to the forefront.

Probably due to the fact that Pluto- the dark God of the underworld- has recently entered my House of Money, money has become a subject of interest for me. Not actually making it, of course. More like bringing it up in conversations to make people squirm. Nothing is more deliciously taboo than money, not even sex.

Why is money taboo? Well, when you are poor you can’t let anyone know, or they will realize you are powerless and treat you with less respect. And when you are rich, you can’t let anyone know or they will try to take your money. I find all of that incredibly exciting.

Another thing I love about money is how it allows you to perform simple tests to find out if others care about you (hint: they don’t.) People throw words of love at each other all the time, but how many will back up their words with cold hard cash? Of course, you have to be careful when running these tests, because there are people in the world who are truly generous and still don’t care about you. And some who are generous just long enough to hook their fish. But still, I think it is a good idea to ask your friend for $100 dollars every now and then, and if they say no, never talk to them again.

And now I am remembering all the times friends asked me for money & I said no. I always said no, because I hate to give people money… maybe this is not a good test after all. I am not greedy, you know. In fact, I doubt I have based a single life choice around gaining money (unfortunately.) But I am stingy. Once I get a dollar bill in my hand, I don’t want to let it go. And a true friend would never ask me to.

Money, gifts, and shiny balls… come to Julien now!!! 
Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Nightfall

This song, which I wrote around a month ago, turned out to be prescient, since the following weeks have been spent uncovering secrets and sitting around crying because of them. Oh well. At any rate, I am now left with the feeling that I don’t want to be me anymore. At least not the suffocating me I have grown accustomed to. All I really want out of life is to live on the beach in a tiny pink shack and do psychic readings for people. And have enough money to buy t-shirts, scented soaps, and fish sandwiches. And to be able to swim through the ocean every day with my eyes open.

Would I want to do music? Maybe… I don’t know. Some parts I don’t like, like having to record it and upload it to a website. The process is straightforward and takes very little time, but still I seem to dread it. I am a technophobe, maybe. Plus, it is lonely, but the alternative is to sing and dance on a stage with people watching and that has a hollow feeling as well. Maybe I just don’t feel the need to share anything of myself with the world in the first place. What is the world but a big hollow ball? Why did I ever decide to “express myself” to begin with? I can’t remember what the point was…

 

When it comes to gold and kings
When it comes to killing things
When it comes to what we know
Stairs that lead us down below

Nightfall, falling away
Nightfall, come and play
Nightfall, will you help us slide
into the place where secrets hide?

All along, we travelled through a star encrusted sky
But did you ever know he watched you fly?

When it comes to giving things
and the happiness it brings
When to bravery and pride
Ribbons on our horses tied

Nightfall, falling away
Nightfall, come and play
Nightfall, will you watch us ride
into the place where secrets hide?

All along, we travelled through a star encrusted sky
But did you ever know he watched you fly?

When it comes to time and space
We remain in the same place
When it comes to killing me
Lift the knife and you will see

Nightfall, tumbling bone
Nightfall, velvet home
Nightfall, bury us inside
to reach the place where secrets hide.

All along, we travelled through a star encrusted sky
But did you ever know he watched you fly?

 

Download: Nightfall

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Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Minerals, Mountains, Crystals, Ice, and White Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

White God & Gold God

Although I’m not religious, there are at least two Gods I believe in…

1. A White God, * whom I simply call “God.” He is the man in the sky who hears our prayers and answers them, so long as they are not in conflict with our destiny or personal growth. But no matter what, when we reach out to him, he will respond with care and love. He is above all our friend.

2. A Gold God, whom I call “God the Father.” He is the watchmaker who created the laws which run the universe. There is no need to pray to him, because he has already constructed the universe to run according to the highest good of all. Plus, he is far away, standing outside the world as he watches it turn.

He does, however, contain vast reservoirs of intelligence and wisdom that we can tap into, and also the Virtues. Virtues are, of course, things like honesty, courage, kindness etc. But on the golden level, they are power sources built into the fabric of the universe. By tapping into them we release external forces as well as internal ones.

Basically, the Virtues are stars- shining above us from all directions- with some diametrically opposed to others (frugality vs generosity, for example.) When we embody a virtue, we unleash a powerful wind blowing us in that star’s direction. If we tap into the right virtue, one that is aligned with our destiny, we will experience this as powerful forces of synchronicity coming to play in our favor, helping us to achieve our purpose. But if we tap into the wrong virtue, one that is not aligned with our destiny, it can be a disaster, carrying us into a foreign life where our strengths are useless. Or worse still, blowing us into a hostile world where our gifts are liabilities.

This is why I have yet to tap into any virtues myself. I don’t have the self-knowledge to know if I ought to be jovial or sober, trusting or crafty. But one day I look forward to doing it. Who wants to slog their way through life when they could be blown swiftly away by forces beyond their control?

 

* Given the mood of the moment with everyone on the lookout for racism, I feel the need to point out that this God being white has nothing to do with “white people.” At any rate, he is not the “white” color of Caucasian skin, he is white like bones, the color of bones that all humans and animals share.

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Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Red, Soldiers, & Fire Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Stuffington’s Hall

Finally, a much needed song in which the King of the South defeats the King of the North in battle, or plans to anyway.

To live in a real life Stuffington’s Hall is a fantasy I dream of day and night- the coziest, stuffiest and most pompous home in the world, decorated mostly in shades of brown, filled with leather bound libraries, stone fireplaces, gleaming wood antiques owned by former presidents, and dark paintings of grumpy looking men framed in gold leaf. Or glorious paintings of triumphant generals crushing their enemies in battle.

 

 

Stuffington's Hall

Men, we will stand at the top of this hill;
when we see them approach, we will swoop
down and kill them. Their blood on our
hands, we will lift them up high as
the sparkling sun beams down from the sky.

Yankees they work hard, them Yankees they try,
but November the 1st is the day that they die.
Bless their sweet little hearts; rockaby
in the grave. We will fight for the flame;
and the flame we will save.

We are fire; they are ice-
they will chill us no more.
We will bury their bodies beneath
the dance floor of Stuffington’s Hall.
Please won’t you come, come to the ball?

Now there are two kings-
there can be but one.
He is King of the Ice; I am King of the Sun.
He is sleek and so young; I dumpy and old.
He has made it clear he wants my story to never be told.

From my leather bound books, he would
smudge out the ink with his fingers in gloves
made of synthetic mink. Though his men are alright (and
they’re armed to the gills), we know God is with us-
trapped in the nook of our frills.

So don your gray lace ladies,
don your silk hats.
Twirl round the fruit punch that bubbles in vats.
Tweet, tweet so high-
puffing like cotton upon our blue sky.

We are joy;
they are tears.
We are hopes;
they are fears.
It is us who predates them by hundreds of years.

Old fingers, bold fingers, gold fingers- me!
I am the ruler of all that I see. And I see stars
languishing behind their cold metal bars.

Old fingers, gold fingers, bold fingers- wait!
Til they reach the valley, then don’t hesitate-
swooping down in a wall, and then
join me for a dance in Stuffington’s Hall.

 

Download MP3: Stuffington’s Hall

Categories
Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Plants and the Emerald Kingdom Purple, Magic & Sorcerers Red, Soldiers, & Fire Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Truly Old

Truly Old

Pink and green, all alone
Guess you never really had a home.
Circles form, fires shine
You alone stand behind

To learn the ways
To burn the pain away
To find the gold
For you alone are truly old.

Chicken leg, gnaw the bone
Make your bed curled against a stone.
Circles form, fires shine
You alone are left behind

To see through things
To learn from bearded kings
To find the gold
For you alone are truly old.

Morning gold, wake in dew
Little bugs fly all over you.
Tiny bugs, tiny wings
In the end, you are a friend to things.

To feel
To know what’s really real
To touch the shine
Another world is left behind.

Fires shine, do not go
Never circle round their glow.
Fires shine in the night
Independent of their light

You alone are truly old
You alone are truly old
You alone are truly old
You alone are truly old.

 

Download MP3: Truly Old

Categories
Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Big Stuff’s Parade

 

 

Normally, when James asks me what a song is about, I tell him I don’t really know. But in this case it is clear- this is a song about a giant named Big Stuff who dreamed of having a parade thrown in his honor. He saved up all his money and gave it to a man who was supposed to make the parade happen. But instead, the man disappeared with the money and left Big Stuff feeling so dejected and humiliated that he sat in a near catatonic state, barely rocking back and forth in a rocking chair, until the next phase of his life began.

I know that gay and straight pride parades have been in the news recently, but this song has nothing to do with them, at least as far as I am concerned. Big Stuff’s story actually took place around 10 years ago, but it is only now that I am getting around to telling it.

Big Stuff
Big Stuff- a real life giant with an endless appetite for the finer things of Life.

 

Purple lace, paint your face
Wait for the cold rain to go away
Today is your big day.

Candy sticks, pink balloons
All of their eyes will be stuck to you
Stuck with the sweetest glue.

Velvet boots, comb your hair
Part down the middle then gloss it with gel
Put some gel in your mustache as well.

In the mirror–look! What do you see?
Could it be you? Could this day truly be

Big Stuff’s Parade, Big Stuff’s Parade
Every gold coin that you saved, you saved for
Your special day, proud and gay
Shining the way that you knew you could
This day is going to feel good.

Purple stripes on a pole
The one that you’ll hold when they lift you up
Onto your satin throne.

Caviar in your pants for you to taste
When your dream comes true
When every eye falls on you.

Look in the mirror and what do you see?
Could it be you? Could today truly be

Big Stuff’s Parade, Big Stuff’s Parade
Every gold coin that you saved, you saved for
Your special day, proud and gay
Shining the way that you knew you could
This day is going to feel good.

But look around, Big Stuff, where is the man
Who took your gold coins in the palm of his hand?
The streets are still empty, no crowds have arrived
No floats to be seen, no flags in the sky…

You were tricked! He took your coins, but the flags never flew
The sun never came out, the crowds never gazed on you
Now you’re rocking and rocking back and forth in your chair
Rubbing the glossy gel out of your hair.

I was tricked! I was tricked! you mumble to yourself
and for the next seven months you will say nothing else.

Big Stuff’s Parade, Big Stuff’s Parade
He needs to learn that the world doesn’t turn
Just for satin lace on his face
Now that he’s bungled his one chance to shine
Will Big Stuff find peace of mind?

 

Download MP3: Big Stuff’s Parade

Categories
Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

The Golden One

 

Feels Good

 

I watched the sun fall through the dirt
Inside, something hurt
Though I waited for you, you did not return.

Sun rise, harsh and mean
Eyes burn, what does life mean?
Could there be another place, a world that can’t be seen?

Is God real? Does he understand?
I press my face into your wrinkled hand.

I want to touch the golden one.
I want to walk in his golden sun.
(When you crawl, life can be so easy for you.)

I want to give everything away.
I want to shrink every single day.
And be small, down upon my knees for you.

Your eyes fall upon my face
My brain goes still
and in its place is a silent space.

Your hand upon my head
Buttered tea and a cube of bread
Memories, what do they mean?
Were they only dreams?

Is life real? Can anybody know
The way to truly please a man of gold?

I want to touch the golden one.
I want to walk in his golden sun.
(When you crawl, life can be so easy for you.)

I want to give everything away.
I want to shrink every single day.
And be small, down upon my knees for you.

And every time I fall so low
Watch out, his love flows into my heart
There is no pain; there is only gain.

And every time I see his eyes
Come within an inch of mine
Shine, shine, shine, light divine- all I have is thine.

Am I real? Why try to understand?
I only need to reach out for his golden hand.

I want to touch the golden one.
I want to walk in his golden sun.
(When you crawl, life can be so easy for you.)

I want to give everything away.
I want to shrink every single day.
And be small, down upon my knees for you.

 

Download MP3: The Golden One

Categories
Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

42 Years

 

42 Years

 

42 years in a place where nothing shines
63 years in a world where nothing’s mine
I crawl; I beg
There’s a face up on the wall but he does not return my call.

Tell me God, what did I do wrong? I did everything you said
I organized my sock drawer and poured shit upon my head
Please don’t make me be the person to remind you
Please do not forget the people who defined you.

Everybody told me that someday I would see
You were just a taker; you took all your gold from me
Still I scraped myself on your stone
Threw my body on your altar and begged you to take me home.

Tell me God, what did I do wrong after 40 years of pain?
I cut myself so badly that my blood poured down like rain
Please don’t make me be the person to remind you
You should not forget the people who defined you.

You are a diamond in a world where nothing shines.
You’re my friend within a place where nothing’s mine.

I walked through the bright red door you opened up for me
Lay my heart upon my eyes; I did not want to see
The hell I paved in gold
Everything that I destroyed and everything I sold.

Tell me God, what did I do wrong? I was there for you each night
I bore the nails into my fists; I held the screams in tight
Must I really be the person to remind you?
You did not exist until the day that we defined you.

 

Download Mp3: 42 Years

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Uncategorized Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Golden Fingers

 

Checker Board
The Greenbrier, West Virginia

Watch the world with hopeful eyes
staring at its black disguise
hiding-where are you?

Underneath a checkerboard
knights and kings keeping score
crying- can it be true?

Under your purple eyes
black squares and white squares lie
fighting- which one is true?

Under your aqua shirt
hope is killed off by hurt
all on the surface is blue.

Don’t lose heart whatever life brings
you must believe that behind all things
Golden Fingers pull on the strings!

Prop your head up on your arm
in your eyes I see no intent to harm
that’s why I love you.

But the day will surely come
when you will kill or be the one
whom they pour their poison into.

Don’t be their fluffy sheep
sink into places deep
let evil flow through your root.

Hardened heart, inky skull
feast like a cannibal
all of the black squares were true.

Killing hurts and killing stings
but you must believe that behind the scenes
Golden Fingers pull on the strings!

When you’re dark, when you’re mean
doing things that shouldn’t be seen
I will be here with you.

Bodies lie, angels spy
we fall to earth, one day we fly
all of the white squares were true.

In the sky they saw
your hand and they understand
you did what you had to do.

Kill or be killed they know
that’s the way black squares roll
all of their tears were for you.

Don’t lose heart whatever life brings
you must believe that behind all things
Golden Fingers pull on the strings!

 

Download MP3: Golden Fingers

Categories
Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Purple, Magic & Sorcerers Red, Soldiers, & Fire Uncategorized Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

The Golden Ring

 

1.
Up and down the stairs I ranCamels
with a scepter in my hand
How to chase the doubts out from my mind?

When the only life I’ve ever known
is to strive for absolute control
and to pull on every string that I could find

To my talismans I cling
I am scared of everything
He knew one day he’d grab the golden ring

2.
On my back I saw the stars
I remembered fireflies in their jars
How to pull the fire out from the flame?

Can I make the bad ones fall and
crush them into pieces small
and somehow extricate myself from blame?

In my ears are bells that ring
I will conquer everything
He knew one day he’d grab the golden ring

3.
Ladies dance and ladies sing
they toss their hair; they wear a ring
they don’t amount to anything I’m sure

But I will cut each finger tip
with stony eyes I’ll watch them drip
I’ll stand in puddles red upon the floor

Are there wise men- I don’t know
I grow the way that flowers grow
spreading from their center like a star

I made my bed, I lie in pain
it cools the fever from my brain
but my seeds upon the wind will travel far

Sing the song that roses sing
do not believe in anything
He knew one day he’d grab the golden ring

4.
On my back I saw the stars
they spread out wide they were my arms
the burning flames that sparkled were my hands

I held my hands up to my face
I gazed into that burning place
so many bright things I could understand

I sing the song that roses sing
I will see through everything
He knew one day he’d grab the golden ring

 

Download MP3: The Golden Ring