Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies


This is not a picture of two women in love- it’s a picture of my brain. Two lobes disconnected each three burkas deep kept confused by a smattering of hearts.

Feel the fire inside again I try
Try to let it burn and walk away
Keep my eyes upon your feet don’t speak
I promise to do what you say

But what did you said about time man?
I can’t remember the words
Backwards and silver and fine man
That was the message I heard

And I’m coming to you empty
You not coming for me

Look into you eyes again I try
Try to let you leave why would I care
Just a vacuum in my chest and head swims
Battered around by the air

What can I say you’re a hard man
You don’t need anyone’s words
Nothing like me I’m so soft man
Swallowing all that I’ve heard

And I’m coming to you empty
You not coming for me

Want to reach your arm and grab your hand
Everything you are it seems so true
Like a soldier you complete and I flow
Round at the bottom of you

Swirl backwards and silver and fine
Everything that you believe man
Is just the reflection of time

An what did they said about time man?
Can you remember the words?
Backwards and silver and fine man
Swallowing all that it heard

And I’m coming to you empty
You not coming for me

Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Checkerboard of Night

Following your footprints through the checkerboard of night
Guided like a lantern by the moon’s uncertain light
Oh I…. an animal that bleeds for you
Oh I… a spirit of the air.

Once I crossed the checkerboard to find a golden ring
Hidden like a promise in the pocket of a king
To the line where only pines remain
All the men afraid to kill had dropped out of the game.

First a flame appeared upon the ocean
Then a message flashed upon the wall
Please don’t tell me nothing has been broken
That’s just to say it was never there at all.

Walking through the dark world where the moon still rules the sky
Everything I wanted came & then left me behind
Oh I… a spirit seeking blood from you
Oh I… a spirit of the air.

Shadow of a sword appears within a silver creek
Could it be a knight and not another king I seek?
Someone who can bring the blood from everywhere
Spreading it like glory through my hair.

First a flame appears upon the ocean
Then a message flashed upon the wall
Please don’t tell me nothing has been broken
That’s just to say it was never there at all.

You were strong & wealthy & your made me feel alive
Everyone was made to kneel; I never had to hide
Oh I… an animal that lived with in your shoe
All the golden dreams I had they came from you.

First a silver light falls on the ocean
Silver men line up against the wall
Please don’t tell me nothing has been broken
That’s just to say it was never there at all.

Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Plants and the Emerald Kingdom Uncategorized Videos

Ferris Wheel (video)

Definitely, I would say this is the song that describes me most, except that I have never thought of myself as green, except for maybe one short year, when I was trying to get in touch with the spirit of music, and I figured it was somewhere in between the colors blue & green, so I gave away all my pink & white things to trade them in for blue & green ones.

I even wore a stretchy blue teddy bear sweater on my head as a hat. I was very poor and it was on clearance for $1, so I just hoped no would would notice the little sleeves. I also tried to eat as much black licorice as possible & scent everything with anise & fennel, which seemed to me (along with lilac) to be the most musical scents, due to their twisted nature.

Music is a twisty sort of thing that connects what is real to what isn’t. Like an affirmation in reverse, music is a channel through which bad things can exit reality. You should never sing about anything good, because you might spin it out of existence.

Music expands our reality in a horizontal direction. It can’t connect us to upper or lower realms, but rather opens the door to realities that are parallel to our own. I think of these as the etheric worlds- where beings similar to the ones in storybooks live. Beings who are eternal, amoral and tied in to the same physical reality as us. Especially those semi-transparent humanoid beings who are around 4 feet high.

But none of this relates to this song, which was written more recently and not during that blue & green time. It was a song I heard while sleeping, which turned out to be the time of a lunar eclipse, which makes sense, given its silvery feeling. I don’t think of the moon as being only silver though, but also green since it turns everything into goo, just like the primordial green ooze that the world came out of.

Sometimes I feel like I am drowning in primordial ooze and struggling to come up for a breath of crisp air.


The moon a crescent in the sky
The world a carpet down below
He came to place me on the ferris wheel
His face a shadow in the show.

Green. Green.

Pull back the curtain and you’ll find
An empty room that know one knows
Shake your head and climb the ferris wheel
This is the world that you will come to know.

Green. Green.

I thought the flowers they would one day, one day
I thought the leaves and trees would one day call me home.

You take my hand just like a leaf
You show my foot just where to go
You help me climb upon the ferris wheel
You point down at the world below.

Green. Green.

Mostly, I think it is a really bad idea to include photographs of husbands. Not to mention that James values his invisibility. And yet… for the sake of context, I feel he needs to make a yearly appearance. After all, most of my adult years my identity has been that of a wife (to him + a previous husband) & not so much an individual.

But of course, I am trying to defy nature by changing that which is just one reason why including any photographs of James is a bad idea.

Charleston, West Virginia The Pine Fairy

A Little Background on the Pine Fairy, Part 1

I decided I should give a little background about the Pine Fairy, so you won’t think he is just a whimsical concept I made up!  For starters, he is a fairy, of course, but that is a broad term describing all humanoids on different frequencies from our own. Some fairies, such as the Pine Fairy, are very similar to us, with emotions we could relate to, while other fairies are more inhuman, with emotional responses we might find bizarre. As a rule, the more fairies resemble us in shape and size, the more their thought processes mirror our own. And the more likely we are to see them.

Pine Fairies are symbiotic with Pine Trees and share many of their gifts. A Pine Fairy gains in magical power primarily through the experience of sorrow. Over time, grief hollows these fairies out, and colors like silver and gold pour into them to fill up the hollow places. These colors connect the fairy to heaven and the angels and he becomes a conduit for bringing this pure, uplifted energy into our reality.

Pine Fairies are linked to the evening of the day and the season of Autumn. For many fairies, it is forever the same time of year and the same time of day. This is not true for Pine Fairies, although time in their world is skewed to stretch out the hours of dusk and nightfall and condense the hours of morning and day. Likewise, the seasons of autumn and winter are stretched, while the seasons of spring and summer are compacted.

Pine Fairies become loners in their old age and spread out far and wide across the globe, rarely encountering one another. This isolation drives sadness even deeper into their bones. They do interact with other species though, and tend to be friends with many ‘inanimate objects’ such as canes, jars, and grandfather clocks.

They like to walk, especially at night, accompanied by a cane or walking stick. Pine Fairies are delicate beings and it is comforting to have a burly piece of wood with them, much as a woman might like a man to lean upon. They gain knowledge from the silver beams of moon and stars. They will walk by a river if one is near, for they can glean still other forms of knowledge from the moonbeams that float in the water.

All Pine Fairies are male. They do not use sexual reproduction. They are born inside pine cones, nestled beside the seeds. As youngsters, the Pine Trees feed them, shelter them, and teach them some of life’s basics, but eventually the fairies grow independent. And while they frequently choose to live among Pine Trees as adults, it is not a necessity, just as a man need not live in the same town as his mother.

Pine fairies enjoy many of the same foods we do, such as peas, cornbread, and cake. As young men (when they are the most red and human-like), they may even eat meat. In this most burly and masculine time of their life, they have even been known to brawl with one another and possibly kill. But as they grow older, grief eats away their bone marrow and withers their muscles. One by one their red blood cells die and they become empty shells of the men they were before. This is the time when their life is really beginning.


Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Music & Songs

Silver Moon


I wrote this song while living in Nashville, where it always seemed so dark and cold, maybe because I only went out at night.  To make matters worse, I tried to wear only white and silver clothes  and eat only white foods… why??? I don’t know what I was thinking, but I do know it cast a cold and lonely feeling over my time there. Just thinking back on it gives me the shivers.

Julien singing Blue Sky Cafe, Nashville in white hat and white boots.
Me in Nashville, playing my silver guitar.











Download MP3: Silver Moon