Like a piece of string dangling in something you wrote Hanging there on a chair in the darkness and oh Feel the clouds rushing in and I start to feel hazy
So I think about you like a drink in my mind Stir it round pour it down and im wondering why With your eyes to the side make me feel like I’m crazy
With your hair and the palm of your hand If you wanted to I could believe. All the things that nobody can teach you You learn when you’re down on your knees.
You were lost in a world where the pieces don’t fit Break a bottle in anger and stare at the bits Beams of light on the stage casting diamonds so dreamy
Break a piece of a candle to hold in your mind Your whole face is a mask no one knows what’s behind But for now hold it down in the darkness we’re dreaming
There it stood open three feet between us A whole world that nobody knew. Close my eyes, maybe I could be dreaming Cause sometimes I feel so confused.
When we step on the stage then we step in the war My mind breaks I don’t know how to think anymore Crumple down to the ground where the red lights are beaming
Say you won’t hurt me, the palm of your hand If you wanted to I could believe. All those things that we promise To hold in the darkness where no one can see.
(Originally published February 4, 2023 then lost in server crash & resurrected on this day.)
Since I am currently having a Saturn transit I am torn between my desire to crawl under a rock and that voice which tells you you must always press forward so I’m just going to publish this then go hide.
Cold tea, dance with me Give me something more to eat Hold my head & help me find the sun.
Red fire, warm & bright Stay with me for one more night Tomorrow we go pay for what we’ve done.
You are my red eye by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head & tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Words spin round and round Only sky where was the ground? Leave my house you dirty cunt I’m done.
Fist eye, hot head fly Falling down the stairs was I Hold my head & tell me I was fun.
You are my best friend by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head and tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Come to me love like a bone The only love I’ve ever known A spark of light then miles and miles of dark.
Burning hands and sparkly eyes And miles and miles away the skies To settle down around around us in the park.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
(Originally published February 15th 2023 then lost in server crash.)
Basically this is the audio to the video I just uploaded because I’m too lazy to do another recording. Well not too lazy exactly. Can I just rant for one minute?
Imagine you are a straight male musician & you love writing songs. But every time you write a song you are required to get fucked up the ass, beat up by three muscle men & left on the side of the highway to walk home.
That is how I feel because every time I write a song- which I like- I then have to record it which I hate. I hate wires and machines and weird pieces of black plastic. I hate computer interfaces filled with random squiggles. I have no idea what anything means. And just the mechanical nature of sound itself. Why is this staticy? Why do I sound a million miles away? I don’t know!! It all feels….. beyond what humans are meant to know. It makes me want to cry.
But now I must stop complaining. And remember the words of my friends.
Thorney: Inch by inch, it becomes a cinch.
Moxy: To every problem, there is a practical solution.
Dad/Nietzche: That which does not kill you makes you stronger.
Dad/Schwarzennegger: No pain no gain.
Dad: Bend over and grab your ankles.
Cold tea, dance with me Give me something more to eat Hold my head & help me find the sun.
Red fire, warm & bright Stay with me for one more night Tomorrow we go pay for what we’ve done.
You are my red eye by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head & tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Words spin round and round Only sky where was the ground? Leave my house you dirty cunt I’m done.
Fist eye, hot head fly Falling down the stairs was I Hold my head & tell me I was fun.
You are my best friend by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head and tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Come to me love like a bone The only love I’ve ever known A spark of light then miles and miles of dark.
Burning hands and sparkly eyes And miles and miles away the skies To settle down around around us in the park.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
(Originally published February 17, 2023 before server crash.)
They came on clouds to comfort me Lay down they said I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now They said one day they’d ride with me We’ll fly so far- invisibility.
Play play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
One man was fire, one man was rain What mad desire I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now Between the two, which one should I believe? I trusted fire the more- invisibility.
Play play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
And so fire came to get down on one knee And gift me pain I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now For I know that I was made to suffer and to bleed Hurt me more, invisibility.
Play play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
(Recovered file from February 28, 2023 after website crashed…. still haven’t figured out how to get music back in.)
They came on clouds to comfort me Lay down, they said I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now They said one day they’d ride with me We’ll fly so far- invisibility.
Pla,y play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards again or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
One man was fire, one man was rain What mad desire I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now Between the two, which one should I believe? I trusted fire the more- invisibility.
Play, play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
And so fire got down upon one knee To gift me pain I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now For I know that I was made to suffer and to bleed Hurt me more, invisibility.
Play, play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
(Originally published March 9th 2023, but my website went down so I am trying to resurrect the posts that were lost.)
Okay I was underachieving a little harder than normal today with this picture.
Like a piece of string dangling in something you wrote Hanging there on a chair in the darkness and oh Feel the clouds rushing in and I start to feel hazy
So I think about you like a drink in my mind Stir it round pour it down and im wondering why With your eyes to the side make me feel like I’m crazy
With your hair and the palm of your hand If you wanted to I could believe. All the things that nobody can teach you You learn when you’re down on your knees.
You were lost in a world where the pieces don’t fit Break a bottle in anger and stare at the bits Beams of light on the stage casting diamonds so dreamy
Break a piece of a candle to hold in your mind Your whole face is a mask no one knows what’s behind But for now hold it down in the darkness we’re dreaming
There it stood open three feet between us A whole world that nobody knew. Close my eyes, maybe I could be dreaming Cause sometimes I feel so confused.
When we step on the stage then we step in the war My mind breaks I don’t know how to think anymore Crumple down to the ground where the red lights are beaming
Say you won’t hurt me, the palm of your hand If you wanted to I could believe. All those things that we promise To hold in the darkness where no one can see.
This song was partially inspired by this shirt which made me feel so calm and controlled….. an evening librarian who quietly hums while filing books alone.
But as you can see from the background, the feeling of control was only a dream. And one washing shrank the sleeves to halfway up my arms, transferring me from library to insane asylum.
First bring the needle out Tighten up the tourniquet And now you feel the waters flow And now the whole world grows so wet
And now how blood is beautiful Liquid ruby through your veins and I will love you fire to fire Desire. You make me feel pain.
Falling back again With your eyes an inch a way And somehow turn from day to night Then somehow turn from night to day
And now you light your pipe again And now you speak your words they’re never true You feel the room spin round and round Theres only me and you and now
How red is beautiful Liquid ruby through my veins And I, I feel the world dissolve resolve You make me feel pain.
First bring the needle out Slide it through my eye oh I oh I How I could live for this So high above the world I fly I fly
I’ll love you fire to fire And I will love you flame to flame And I oh will I marry you, I do You make me feel pain.
First bring the needle out Tighten up the tourniquet And now you feel the waters flow And now the whole world grows so wet
And now how blood is beautiful Liquid ruby through your veins and I will love you fire to fire Desire. You make me feel pain.
Falling back again With your eyes an inch a way And somehow turn from day to night Then somehow turn from night to day
And now you light your pipe again And now you speak your words they’re never true You feel the room spin round and round Theres only me and you and now
How red is beautiful Liquid ruby through my veins And I, I feel the world dissolve resolve You make me feel pain.
First bring the needle out Slide it through my eye oh I oh I How I could live for this So high above the world I fly I fly
I’ll love you fire to fire And I will love you flame to flame And I oh will I marry you, I do You make me feel pain.
