Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Politics Uncategorized Writings

Time to Reconsider Virtues

As I’ve said before, I believe virtues are- quite literally- the stars in the sky. They are guiding lights. Each person has unique virtues which are a part of their soul and stay relevant throughout their life. Other virtues must be picked up or discarded as the situation requires. They guide us for a while, but then we must turn in a new direction.

Group minds always align with specific virtues and these virtues become synonymous with goodness itself. These virtues may be very effective in a certain time and place. But circumstances always change until the virtues people cling to- the ones which give them a sense of identity and goodness- become the source of their undoing.

These past years for me have really been about the need to embrace virtues I previously rejected. Now that our society is staring down the barrel of a gun, I wonder if many are having that same experience. So many of the qualities we have seen as wholesome- politeness, smiles, harmony, empathy, minding your own business, seeing the best in others- work really well in times of peace. But not so much when you have enemies who are trying to kill you.

Conservative women especially tend to embrace values which work well when everything is running smoothly, but are less effective in guerrilla warfare. Group values are always polarized against some other group- real or fictional- who is seen as their antithesis. For conservative women, this is feminists.

Feminists are angry, shrill and chaotic. They want to compete with men, destroy men, even BE men. When conservative women consider how much they AREN’T like feminists they get a small jolt of pleasure in their brain, just as we all do while admiring ourselves. “Why are they so angry? I think men are wonderful! I don’t want to compete with men. I love being a woman!” Conservative men will sometimes reinforce this by casting these (mostly mythical) feminists as women who are embroiled in bitterness due to not being sexy enough to attract a man.

But none of this has anything to do with feminists. It is just a masturbatory technique used by all group minds to reinforce their chosen virtues. The real message- if you get angry and hysterical, if you OBJECT to things- then you are ugly and will no longer be deserving of the group’s love and protection.

All these conservative values work well in times of peace and prosperity when it makes sense to discourage people from rocking the boat.
But they are no longer working. We have watched for years as the liberal forces erode everything conservatives were wanting to conserve and they just stand there helpless, dick in hand. They hope a great leader will come save them. They talk about how wrong it all is. But they can do nothing to stop it. Their cherished virtues are completely impotent against the situation. They just stand there on a sinking ship like lily white virgins.

In general, the values conservatives previously embraced were earthy ones- meant to maintain stability. The ones we need now are fiery. To throw a fit and stand up for ourselves. The time of Aries, God of War, is soon arriving and whichever people are first to adopt his pugnacious attitude are likely to come out on top.

We can see from the election of Trump that conservatives are open to the possibility that something fiery & obnoxious could be appropriate. But are they willing to pick up that torch themselves? Or are they only willing to let someone else do their dirty deeds for them while they stand watching, dicks in hand, lily white virgins?

I think it is doubly important that conservative women reconsider their virtues. Why? Because men are the heavy lifters of humanity and women are its leading edge. They perceive problems before men do and have the ability to nip them in the bud while men are still sleeping. Conservative women frequently pride themselves on following the lead of men. In times of crisis this is not a good idea. We pick up on things before they do. By the time men rise up things will have already gone too far, making the world a scary place for women.

I consider our shrill shrieking voices to be the alarm system of the human race. Sometimes an alarm is all you need to scare the bad guys away. And I believe the thing holding females back from this is an intense attachment to certain virtues and strong negative association with fiery ones. We want to be the lovable woman. Not the screeching harpy. If we screech it means we are ugly. No one can love us.

So here are just a few values for conservative women to consider embracing.

1. Anger & hatred. Scrunching up your face to scream at the top of your lungs. What is wrong with this? Doesn’t Jesus throw hissy fits throughout the Bible? Doesn’t God?

The aversion to anger is not based in spirituality, but reflects the fact that in times of peace, anger tends to be more destructive than useful. Hence it gets discouraged.

In times of war, however, anger & hatred are fiery rivers of power that energize you to express your love for your people. They embolden you to take actions that matter. A person incapable of anger & hatred cannot have any strong love. Nor can they get a boner. You won’t believe me now, but one day you will realize anger & hatred are the river of fire from which boners flow. Boners are anger turned into a generative force. Without them, love is flaccid.

2. Drama. Why do people hate drama? In astrology, drama is ruled by the sun which is the energy source of our entire world. How many popular movements changed the world without drama? Zero.

Once again, our aversion to putting three extra scoops of drama on everything just reflects the needs of a society at peace. Don’t rock the boat or stir the waves. But when you have a ginormous enemy coming to kill you, well then you do want to stir the waves & raise the energy of the opposition to the highest level possible. And that is what drama is- heightened energy. Adding more energy, color, visibility, and emotion. Conservative women need to wipe the pale gray oatmeal from their face and give drama a whirl. Put some ginger back in their swagger.

3. Pettiness. Especially when it comes to women, the value of pettiness cannot be overstated. One of our main contributions to the human race is that we see problems before men do- while they are still small & able to be changed. A lack of pettiness makes you overlook problems and suppress natural responses until situations become serious. Once things are really bad then you can react without being a petty person. But by that point it is frequently too late to change anything.

Still we are encouraged to not be over reactive but instead to let small things slide off our backs. Yet again, a trait that is socially valuable in maintaining peace.

But when someone is trying to kill you, largess is not your friend. You need to notice the tiny infringements on your boundaries and be more reactive. Why not punch a bully the first time he crosses you rather than wait until he kills three of you friends? In war, you may only get one chance to see a problem and respond. Then it’s over.

***

So put anger, hatred, drama, & pettiness together & what do you get? Sounds a lot like liberals, right? And look who is winning- they are.

“Good things don’t come to those who wait. They come to those who agitate.” – Julian Bond

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Uncategorized Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

The Bird King

This song was from a dream. Mostly at the moment I only write songs when I hear them in dreams which can be annoying because I don’t always want to wake up. But I usually do, just in case there is some meaning behind it.

A bigger problem though is that dream songs have some added dimension that can’t be captured…. kind of like they are being sung from all directions at once- or there is some kind of harmony but not any harmony that can be replicated…. it is just like there is an additional dimension somehow that creates a feeling of infinite spaciousness, but when you wake up that dimension is gone & all you can write down are the melody and words. I suppose you could try to replicate that other quality with a children’s choir & orchestra, but I am lactose intolerant.

Take a step into the silence
Smell the air- the scent of violence
To close your eyes & tell us all what you see.

A single bird on the tallest tree now
From all directions a harmony
Somehow I know- we must follow his lead.

‘Yes I flew up to the tallest tree
O do you see me there? Hellow it’s me-
I have been watching you
I am the reason you cried.

I alone am the crown of kings
I am the god of birds and little things
You oughtta know by now
I’ll be the reason you die.

I fell down.
I was saved.
I was thrown.
In a pauper’s grave.’

Wading now into the water
Oh my god, are you my father?
A little boy crying there at your feet.

The waters clear & the pictures come now
From all directions the boys will drum now
A sea of men blowing into the creek.

‘Look again into the tallest tree
And you will see me there- bow to me
I have been watching you
I am the reason you cried.

I alone am the crown of kings
I am the god of birds and little things
You oughtta know by now
I’ll be the reason you fly.

I fell down.
I was saved.
I was thrown.
In a pauper’s grave.

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia men Writings

James’s Slut Transit (Pluto opposite Venus)

One cool thing about astrology is you get so caught up in the symbolism that by the time you catch your husband in bed with a dwarf you are practically happy about it.

Oh my god- this is perfect! The dwarf had red hair! They were doing anal!! Can you think of anything better for Uranus in Aries?!?

The past year or so James (husband) has been having a transit which is supposed to make men irrationally attracted to skanky hoes who express something of their own repressed sexuality.

Since I had been majorly shook by a number of transits in the past 10 years, I wasn’t in the mood for the stars to defeat me again. I decided to take the bull by the horns and announce that he was entering a slut transit on facebook. (Sometimes I imagine that telling enough people about something BEFORE it happens will magically keep it from occurring.) And every day since then, I’ve asked him “So have you felt attracted to any skanks yet? Any nasty hoes caught your eye?” Occasionally I will drop a reminder that anyone he likes during this time probably has a cocktail of STDs as well, which is true. (Unless they have a prison record or are a geologist.)

And so far, I have not sensed any attraction to cumdumpsters. This transit (Pluto opposite Venus) has to work through the unconscious. If the idea of sexual obsession with Jezebels is put into the forefront of his mind and linked to a transit, it makes it harder for the dark magic to occur.

So yay, I outsmarted the stars.

Still it’s almost hard not to feel disappointed that the transit didn’t go as planned. All his other transits- in which I did not interfere- were textbook. But this time I prepared myself, made public announcements and now he is basically standing me up at the altar. I had mentally set aside a couple years of life to wage this war on skanks and now there are no skanks in sight. Never a quitter, I eventually started encouraging him. Why don’t you friend some skanks on facebook? Maybe you’d enjoy a trip to the gentlemen’s club? But no. Being a slut because your wife wants you to isn’t Pluto’s way. The taboo is what arouses him. He wants to defy people’s expectations to show them- and himself- that he can’t be controlled. He wants to do something which will make others hate him or cause him to hate himself.

But why, Pluto, why?

For starters, Pluto is the planet of intensity. Sometimes we cut off so much from our darker self that we just start to feel less alive. Sometimes a journey to the dark side is just what it takes to tap into deeper wells of life and emotion. Feeling negative emotions can be preferable to feeling nothing at all.

Secondly, Pluto goes dark to gain power. Nice guys finish last. Pluto crosses lines other people aren’t willing to cross and reaps the rewards. During Pluto transits he challenges us to question our own boundaries. Are we willing to sacrifice one pound of goodness to gain 5 pounds of power? Are we willing to push our neighbor in front of a train to save a bus full of children? Many times, during Pluto transits, we realize we are.

Thirdly, Pluto does bad things to create boundaries. To show himself (and sometimes others) that he can’t be controlled. That there are no rules for him and only his own will reigns supreme.

Lastly, Pluto trespasses to expand his mind. On one level, Pluto is really about the ability to have our own mind which can function independently from the group. People with pronounced Pluto in their chart frequently seem normal on the surface, but deep in their mind is a sort of existential autonomy that the average person lacks. They see life through their own eyes and don’t need social support to trust their own perceptions. So during Pluto transits we want to question the rules we have previously taken for granted. We want to gain psychic & psychological freedom.

* * *

Basically, Pluto is our reptilian mind. It likes to operate in darkness, secretly controlling our behavior while our conscious mind is busy attributing shinier motives to ourselves. Pluto shrinks away when the light is shining directly on him. He does not want the whole world watching him, waiting for him to get an astrologically sanctioned boner.

Still, I have read enough Greek myths to know what happens to those who brag about outsmarting the fates. And there is still a year left of this transit to go. So we’ll see what happens. Maybe whores will end up having the last laugh. Just like they always do.



Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Uncategorized Videos

Gonna See the River (video) + a rant

I hope this is a video where I sing the song thru to the end rather than messing up in the middle & stopping, but I can’t bring myself to watch it and find out. The worst part of music (beside the technology) is having to think about, look at, and listen to yourself. I can’t really deal with that, so as much as possible, I don’t. I hate having to consider the impression I make on others & have a hard time doing it anyway, since I don’t know how others think.

Some people enjoy sculpting their self-image. For many musicians this seems to be a big part of their job. I think that is why I avoided music for so long, because I didn’t want to have to think about or promote myself anymore. But now I don’t, so its cool. I can stay in my own world.

The way the media portrays it, the essence of femininity is an obsession with one’s own image, but- for the average women- I think this is far from true. If anything, women have a diminished sense of self and increased sensitivity to things around them. Their focus on appearance is mostly a shield against the negative judgments of their value which they have been trained to fear since birth. And I don’t think these judgments come from men but are really a media creation.

I feel like a dork talking about the media, but at the same time I don’t know if you can overstate the influence Hollywood & its sister industries have had on our collective mind. They have truly seized control of the collective imagination- how we see life, what we think it is about. This is tragic, because the spell they cast is a dark one which seems consistently designed to make people devalue themselves & life.

And they are the one part of our society which is consistently misogynistic as though they are led by people who specifically have it in for women. They objectify women and see women in their natural role as worthless. The only way women can redeem themselves is either by 1. being a perfect object that many men want to have sex with (in real life being a perfect object & having a lot of opportunities for sex are probably not very related, but the media links these together so females will see being hit on as a sign of validation) or 2. being able to do masculine things as well or better than men. Both of which, for most women, are going to be unfulfilling.

I don’t think people realize the impact this has. When women complain about being objectified, men don’t seem to understand where they are coming from or exactly how deep the wound can be. They see it as an attack on men. “Hey, I’m a man, I like to look! Sue me! (Snort snort).” They see women focusing on their appearance and then asking not to be objectified and the whole thing seems quite hypocritical. In reality, men objectifying women isn’t the problem. Perhaps they aren’t even doing this. We’ll never know. The real problem is women objectifying themselves.

The problem with women believing that their value and power comes from their appearance is, of course, that it cuts them off from their true source of power and has them searching for water in a place where no water is to be found. In a natural state women retain the connection to those forces which created us and the memory of what we were before birth. Without female energy in the world, we become disconnected from our source and start a desperate search for something to replace it. We forget that we are immortal & the world is full of magic. Life becomes flat and dry. So many of the psychological problems in the modern world are related to the degradation of women. Women are the essence of depth but we have turned them into the essence of shallowness.

What is my point? I don’t know. I don’t mean to sound all goddessy- I don’t even like that stuff. But I see that people suffer mentally from the fact that our collective imagination is ruled by a heartless masculine cartel. As I’ve expressed many times, there is nothing I love more than masculine warriors, but ruling the collective imagination is not their proper place.

Mostly I just wanted to say sorry if the video is messed up.



Lyrics….

It was nearly close to sunset
And the air it was swimming with flies
They were swatted without regret
As I laughed by his side

Dancing in the palm of his hand- fire
Dripping through the blood in his veins
I need to keep walking I can’t get tired
Falling back again and again

Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river

First his shadow fell upon me
Then he held my little hand in the fire
So I tried to lift my eyes up
But I was tired

Dancing on the back of my eyes now
People always said he was gay
But I saw him slip into the White Palm
That was a good day.

Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river

Suddenly the trees begin to smile
Twirl me on the pavement for a while
You couldl give him one more chance
After that I’m on my own.

Sink your fingers deep into the red
Ringing in the air around my head
You couldl give me one more chance
After that I’m on my own.

Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river

Not much time until the sunset
Just keep moving for a little more while
Though he killed you without regret
Still he always had the heart of a child

Dance into the river of regret
Dance into the river of pain
Dance into the aquador where we met
That was a good day.

Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river
Gonna see the river

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia men Politics Uncategorized Writings

Simone Biles & the Masculine Spirit

This post is not about Simone Biles dropping out midway through the Olympics gymnastics competition. I don’t have an opinion on that since I am still not clear on why she did it and have heard different reasons.

This post is about the amount of praise she is receiving for dropping out. I find this disturbing. The consensus on twitter seems to be that this is the greatest athletic accomplishment of all time. Of course, in 2021 it should come as no surprise that quitting is seen as the peak of glory. Gold medals don’t matter, victory doesn’t matter, teammates don’t matter, national pride doesn’t matter. Only ONE thing matters. The ‘mental health’ of the individual, which seems in practice to mean always doing what you feel like doing.

In reality, Biles may not have dropped out for mental health reasons. But this was her initial statement and the public ate it up like pudding. They praised her for putting emotional wellness above gold metals and antiquated concepts of national pride. They could have accepted the idea with disappointment and understanding. But instead, her withdrawal must be called the essence of bravery and courage. She put herself first. This makes her a hero. No. If we value survival at all, we must get over the idea that tending to one’s own emotions should trump all other considerations.

Things can swing too far in any direction of course and there have been times when the obsession with excellence, winning, national pride, devotion to country etc could be said to have gone too far and crushed the soft parts of the individual.

Once again, this issue comes down to masculine vs. feminine- two principles which must remain in balance. The public is taking a feminine perspective, the role of a concerned mother who cares for nothing more than the well being of her baby. If the baby withdraws & the entire Olympics crumbles to the ground, the mother does not care. What matters is her baby’s happiness. She does not want the weight of the world, the expectations of team and nation, to interfere with this. She wants to keep baby safe in a world of inner joy and nursery rhymes. This perspective on life has its place.

However…

1. If we all care about our own feelings and mental health more than the needs of the group, we don’t survive.

2. We only have the option of making our inner self top priority because someone else isn’t. We have no inherent right to stay at home writing in our journals while other people are grow our food, dig our coal and work in our journal factories. Other people aren’t our slaves and if they do the hard work which enables us to opt out of hard work we certainly owe them a debt of gratitude.

Countless people surely worked hard and sacrificed to get Simone Biles where she is. No matter who we are, people have invested in us. We can’t pretend we have no responsibility to those who fed and clothed us, who created our language, our culture, who built our homes, roads and medicines, who died in war to protect us. We owe an infinite debt to society and those who came before us. How can we receive from every direction and still feel we owe nothing to no one but ourselves?

3. To strive for victory and glory, to sacrifice for team and country is the essence of the masculine spirit. To say the Olympics doesn’t matter, that national pride doesn’t matter, that winning doesn’t matter, is- from a masculine perspective- to say that life doesn’t matter. It does.

Not only do the masculine virtues taught by sports train humans to survive and protect, they also reflect a spiritual dimension of meaning. Goals matter. Achievement matters. Excellence matters. Struggle and sacrifice matter. Being responsible to other people matters. This is where the masculine dimension of meaning comes from and what enables men to evolve spiritually. Without the virtues embodied in sports, men devolve. They turn into scary gremlins. They become a menace to society and will never find inner peace.

Males need to be burdened by expectations and responsibilities. Neither self care nor cuddles will fulfill them. They must push themselves and take risks for something which matters more than themselves. A male who believes that his inner self is the most important thing in life will become miserable. And evil.

So the striving for medals, team and nation is really a spiritual thing. It is symbolic of mind over matter. Of pushing the self to become someone who matters to the collective. Men must kill the inner self so it can be reborn as something greater. It is a process of resurrection that gets turned on its head when the inner self is turned into a god.

And so women’s sports are at a crossroads. What do we want? Do we want our sports to be a place where friendship, fun & fitness matter more than winning? That would be fine with me. I grew up in a competitive world & often felt it had a negative impact upon females. In general, women seem designed to cooperate and collaborate. Many times on the verge of victory I would throw a competition because I just didn’t want to defeat the other person. Winning didn’t seem that valuable. Maybe this is just the way women were made.

Or maybe there are enough martian women who DO want to compete with the same ferocity as men. If so, I am fine with that as well. I love it when females display masculine virtues.

However, regardless of what women decide to do we MUST NOT water down male sports to suit female sensibilities. For all the reasons stated above, men need to excel in masculine virtues. Their health depends on it. Our survival depends on it. It is males possessing excellent masculine qualities rather than degenerative ones which keeps society safe and strong.

If females find male values too harsh, then we can operate in separate spheres where different rules apply. Currently people insist that men and women MUST play the same game. But women find the rules harsh. So we try to change them. When we could just drop out of that man game and play one of our own. But whatever we decide, the male realms must remain intact. Hard & proud. Unadulterated. Our survival depends on it.

Never ever undermine that which makes your life possible. The first law of the jungle.



NOW this is the Law of the Jungle — as old and as true as the sky;
And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.

As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back —
For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.

-Rudyard Kipling




Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love men Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Brother oh

These plates, called “Friendly Village” (which I don’t own) were the inspiration for this song. There is something so romantic about plates, especially when they contain pictures framed in brown designs. The color brown itself is so dreamy. It represents that ideal you are always reaching for but can never find…. security, home.

His hands upon me I was spun around.
Tripping over my feet through the softly fading town

Brother no… nobody leads the way
Brother no… nobody leads the way

He turns towords me when the evening shines
His hands upon my head I’ll wait until my time

Brother no….. nobody leads the way
Brother no….. nobody leads the way

First it seems to be a no go
Then he tells you things will fade away
All the while the winds begin to blow
And so you stumble on the way

I know nothing’s gonna make up your mind now love
This is just a matter of fact
I try putting all my thoughts in a line although
This will never bring him back.

His arm around my neck I start to smile
We’ll watch the clouds pass by just for a little while

Brother oh…… I’ll let you lead the way
Brother oh…. I’ll let you lead the way

First it seems to be a rainbow
Then he tells me it’s a cloud of gray
All the while the fog begins to grow so you will
Wander through the day

I know nothing’s gonna make up your mind now love
This is just a matter of fact
I try putting all my thoughts in a line although
This will never bring him back.

He holds me up against the wall til I can fly
Scenes of peaceful villages fade in & out of mind

Brother no… I’ll let you lead the way
Brother no… I’ll let you lead the way.

First he tells you its a no no
Then he tells me I must seize the day
All the while the clouds begin to grow
And they grow colder on the way

I know nothing’s gonna make up your mind now love.
This is just a matter of fact.
I try putting all my thoughts in a line although
This will never bring him back.


Categories
Charleston, West Virginia men Minerals, Mountains, Crystals, Ice, and White Music & Songs Videos

Light on the Wall

Light on the wall
Just stare at it hard then he’s coming to call
He said that your name was the cause for it all
But you knew truth- he knew nothing at all
And next thing it’s all coming down.

Blue on your mind
Then come the words that you’re struggling to find
A world that don’t change and his arm like a vine
till he’s lifting you up by the shoulder.

Waited too long
You can’t hold it back now you’re lost in the song
To enter a world where you could not belong
only lay hypnotized in the smolder.

Cotton is shame
But when you’re alone then you’re primed for the game
The way you’ll go out is the way that you came
To touch is to know that you’re feeling the same
And next thing it’s all coming down.

Light on your mind
It hurts when you know he’s not looking to find
Anything more than to have a good time and that
you were the one he could roller.

Melted again
Everyone knows it’s the heart of these men
To lower you down till you can’t rise again
then they turn to a friend and grow colder.

You will remain
Just hold your hands close to the fire of the pain
And in the end only the fire will remain
The men will return to the light where they came
And next thing it’s all coming down.

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Step on the Train

If I sound out of breath its cause I am. But I had to get this recorded anyway. It is from a dream in which I was on a train & sometimes I worry if I let too much time pass I will lose the dream’s feeling.

Step on the train my friend
Down beneath your feet it rolls
Hands upon the window now
We watch the clouds begin to blow

See the sky fill up with wind
Press against us like a flag
Til the evening comes again
And then the clouds begin to drag

No one can know us now
We are unknown to ourselves
Flying forward here we go
And now the sky begin to melt

Nobody knows the way
Flying forward here we go
No one can help us now
Sing cause its the only thing we know

Watchin the sun rise now
And the sky he comes again
I tried to help you but I only
seemed to make the darkness bend

Through a tunnel now we’ll fly
Rest your eyes for just a while
Darkness push upon us push upon us
Let confusion lie

I didn’t know you then
You didn’t even know yourself
Flying forward through the dark
And now the tracks begin to melt

First we’ll reach the tunnels end
Then we’ll move into the light
Golden beams upon us
Sing cause it’s the only thing inside

Step on the train my friend
Press your face against the sky
Watch the blue forever flow
Watch the world begin to fly

Feel the dream begin again
Feel your eyes begin to close
Press your face against glass
Sing cause it’s the only thing we know.

Categories
Charleston, West Virginia men Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized Videos

Far (Video)

(Can you please just ignore the way my face looks in the frozen video screen? Youtube just selects a random moment from the video & it is hard to sing in a way where you never look weird. The hardest part of being a musician is how you are also supposed to be a professional engineer. And someone who likes to be on stage. And self promoter, etc etc etc)

Can you close your eyes we’re almost there?
I can feel the tendrils of his hair
Look I see the pole they said that we’d find
First you know we saw it in our mind.

Close your eyes and let him start to speak
First we fall down limply then go weak
Though we cannot move we see the star
And we know this man will take us FAR.

First we feel his hands caress our face
Lips that part too gently to erase
All the things that lay behind us now
Things that hurt us in the mind somehow.

Darkened hands that lifted up the lid
Of the heavy black box where we hid
Till those heavy hands became a star
And we knew this man would take us FAR.

Sister hold my hand it’s just the two of us to withstand what he gives.
Let your mind give way you know they say the one who dies will be the only one lives.

First his eyes seem black then they seem blue
First he watches me then watches you
As though we were dancing though we lie
Paralyzed and facing towards the sky.

Then we feel his hands begin to touch
Do we like it no or very much?
Either way we’re flying in his car
We have found the man who takes us FAR.

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Hi Again

(Warning- slight reference to astrology. Does this bother people who know nothing about astrology? Personally, I never mind a few indigestible references, but I don’t know if others- especially men- feel the same.)

I haven’t been able to express anything in a while. I’ve written about 50 blog posts but have not been able to publish any of them due to this feeling that everything I say is completely pointless. So, I thought maybe I would take some time off to become more presidential & then go back to expressing myself.

Last night though I realized this reluctance to speak wasn’t about a true desire to resemble Nixon but rather a clamming up in response to a recent spike of low level enemies. For starters, Mars Bringer of War had been moving through my House of Relationships and when this happens you tend to experience death by a thousand cuts. Minor hostility directed at you from multiple directions. No single event worth crying over and yet the sum leaves you feeling demoralized, as though no good people exist. And as I’ve said before, faith in people, the dream that good people exist, is the force that pulls the words out of your mouth. Without that the words stay stuck inside.

Also, Pluto has been sextiling my sun. When Pluto sextiles* a planet, it basically releases a stream of mini enemies in that planet’s direction. These minis teach you how to fight & stand up for yourself so when the biggie transits happen, you are be ready.

Plutonic enemies are different from Martian ones. Martians attack fast and furious, shooting you in the knees, elbows, wherever. Plutonic enemies study you to find your kill spots. Then they execute the most subtle blow necessary to inflict true damage while appearing not to do anything at all. They do not want to be seen covered in blood and guts. They want to be seen as your friend. An understanding of your insecurities is essential to them. So you could see why the presence of Plutonic enemies would make you uninclined to blog about your inner self. They make you want to close off. Obscure. Misdirect.

And they were attacking me in a different way from usual. Normally, the attacks I get are “You’re dumb. You’re dumb. You’re dumb.” Recently it has been people sending me messages about how I’m a horrible singer, criticizing my videos, my blog, saying I’m a bad wife & leaving weird stuff on my doorstep. And other stuff which I can’t go into without seeming paranoid. That is the weird paradox of life- that you have to lie to seem truthful & if you try to be truthful you seem like a liar.

So anyway, like I said, the sextile releases baby enemies. What are baby enemies? They are enemies who you clearly have the power to defeat. The trick is, you might convince yourself they are too small to be worth defeating. You are a big boy. You can shrug it off. But this is big boy’s big mistake. When something is small, that may be the only chance you have to squash it. Once problems get bigger than you are, your chance of success goes down considerably.

So I prefer to over-analyze the heck out of the tiniest of things. It is probably natural for women to do this, though we are sometimes mocked for it. But if people understand how the female mind works they will realize we are humanity’s first line of defense. Your current problems would probably not exist had you listened to your wife. Once the problems do become full grown gorillas then women tend to take a step back and let men do their thing.

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While I was busy not expressing myself, I did have the chance to go on a learning spree. But let me say here that I am not a huge advocate of learning. I think people are too obsessed with it and overlook more important mental activities like thinking. Still, I do consider myself 15% scholar and like to learn the life stories of those who came before. I like history. My only problem is that it focuses so much on politics and war. I want to know- I NEED to know- what people ate for breakfast. Were their hankerchiefs embroidered? With what kind of flower? Why that one? What perfume did they wear? Did they match their perfume to their hankerchief? These are my obsessions, the little details that cue me in to what was really going on in their minds, but it is hard to find that sort of info. Cause history trumps herstory, right? Once again we are encouraged to look at the big things and overlook the small ones.



* A sextile is basically the softest bump one planet gives another as it circles round your chart. To put it more technically, it is when the current position of a planet is 60 degrees away from the position of a planet in your birth chart, inside the ring of the zodiac.