Crawl into the world your eyes are slits Fuzzy shapes & so you start to squint Smiling harder now you try to please Always feel so eager on your knees
Then his hands reach out so large and blue So you do the things you always do Try to make him happy make him stay But in the end he just goes away.
Oh no one will love you like I do Take my hand you know that I’ll stay with you Forever and you say you’ll leave me Never still you go away
First you think you’ll die but then you don’t no To a hollow cave is where you go Then the walls fall away and you see the sky Your body breaks and you start to fly
This is how you learn that you’ll survive Until another man comes down the line So you do the things you did before But this time he will hurt you even more
Bleeding like a pig into the rain Clawing at a puddle made of pain Killing everything that you love best Because the light is breaking in your chest
Oh no one will love you like I do Take my hand you know that I’ll stay with you Forever and you say you’ll leave me Never still you go away
First you think you’ll die but then you don’t no To a hollow cave is where you go Then the walls fall away and you see the sky Your body breaks and you start to fly
High as dust and I’m walking home Try to breath but I’m never gonna get it right. Cuz I know that when I get home then I’m all alone To face another spooky night.
I know. People tell me everything come and go. People tell me everything’s far then near no fear my dear Was is will be but they don’t get it.
Please get to the part where you hurt me. Please get to the part where you break me down and cry.
In the day you can act that way Like its all okay and nothings gonna cut me. Smile and drink like you never think Like you never feel and nothings gonna drag you home.
Midnight crawling on the graves in the moonlight Wait for him to tell you goodbye You’d cry but you’re just too high Then the open sky fall down upon you.
Please get to the part where you hurt me. Please get to the part where you break me down and cry.
So many skies What are those things that move whenever I open my eyes? So many dreams I need to find a world where I can be weak so I try to breath but I can’t find it.
Please get to the part where you hurt me. Please get to the part where you take me down and cry.
(Originally published February 4, 2023 then lost in server crash & resurrected on this day.)
Since I am currently having a Saturn transit I am torn between my desire to crawl under a rock and that voice which tells you you must always press forward so I’m just going to publish this then go hide.
Cold tea, dance with me Give me something more to eat Hold my head & help me find the sun.
Red fire, warm & bright Stay with me for one more night Tomorrow we go pay for what we’ve done.
You are my red eye by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head & tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Words spin round and round Only sky where was the ground? Leave my house you dirty cunt I’m done.
Fist eye, hot head fly Falling down the stairs was I Hold my head & tell me I was fun.
You are my best friend by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head and tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Come to me love like a bone The only love I’ve ever known A spark of light then miles and miles of dark.
Burning hands and sparkly eyes And miles and miles away the skies To settle down around around us in the park.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
(Originally published February 15th 2023 then lost in server crash.)
Basically this is the audio to the video I just uploaded because I’m too lazy to do another recording. Well not too lazy exactly. Can I just rant for one minute?
Imagine you are a straight male musician & you love writing songs. But every time you write a song you are required to get fucked up the ass, beat up by three muscle men & left on the side of the highway to walk home.
That is how I feel because every time I write a song- which I like- I then have to record it which I hate. I hate wires and machines and weird pieces of black plastic. I hate computer interfaces filled with random squiggles. I have no idea what anything means. And just the mechanical nature of sound itself. Why is this staticy? Why do I sound a million miles away? I don’t know!! It all feels….. beyond what humans are meant to know. It makes me want to cry.
But now I must stop complaining. And remember the words of my friends.
Thorney: Inch by inch, it becomes a cinch.
Moxy: To every problem, there is a practical solution.
Dad/Nietzche: That which does not kill you makes you stronger.
Dad/Schwarzennegger: No pain no gain.
Dad: Bend over and grab your ankles.
Cold tea, dance with me Give me something more to eat Hold my head & help me find the sun.
Red fire, warm & bright Stay with me for one more night Tomorrow we go pay for what we’ve done.
You are my red eye by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head & tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Words spin round and round Only sky where was the ground? Leave my house you dirty cunt I’m done.
Fist eye, hot head fly Falling down the stairs was I Hold my head & tell me I was fun.
You are my best friend by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head and tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Come to me love like a bone The only love I’ve ever known A spark of light then miles and miles of dark.
Burning hands and sparkly eyes And miles and miles away the skies To settle down around around us in the park.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
* I have another song named Paradise too. Is that okay? Actually Paradise is one of my favorite words & I am thinking I might write a bunch more songs with this name if it doesn’t present practical problems….
Place your finger on the window seal tap it three times three. Lift your eyes towards the skies and tell me what you see.
I can see him blowing in again, glowering like the corn. Wrap the black around me I won’t take it anymore.
Do you think I’ll feel this way again? Do you think I’ll feel the same? Black clouds coming down and all I can feel again is rain.
Half of life is memory. Half of life is storm. Tell yourself it’s changing when it’s only shifting form.
Half of life is far away, misty and unclear. Feel the fog surround you but that’s only when he’s near.
Do you think you’ll feel this way again? Do you think you’ll feel the same? Black strings coming down and all that I can feel is rain.
You’ll let me know somehow the ways That you’ll allow you know I never disappoint. A cloud for you I’ll be a fog a mystery To fade then vanish to a point.
Place your hand upon my forehead now Turn me three times round. Stars behind my eyes and then I’m falling on the ground.
Take the handkerchief away from me- I know where he goes. I know where the bodies lie and I know all the little things they hold.
Do you think you’ll feel this way again? Do you think you’ll feel the same? Black strings coming down and all that I can feel is rain.
Don’t go insane; don’t pull your hair Don’t you play the fool you poor poor girl now. The sky is dark; the stars are dots They are hiding in a black black swirl now.
You always knew that people smile They extend their hand but don’t take it no no. Because this life is never what it appears to be When you’re crawling so low.
Don’t let his hand reach for your heart- Have you asked yourself why he needs a friend? Because he likes to hurt them.
Some people lie; they like to smile And they’ll say the sweetest things that you crave You’re lying down; you’re getting soft You’re refusing to see things in a new way
From every side he’s moving in and you’re Lying there but where can you go now? You close your eyes imagining a new place Where life could be different somehow.
Don’t let his hand inside your chest- Have you asked yourself why he needs a friend? Because he likes to hurt them.
You’ll stand alone; you’ll find a way You won’t need nobody, no one, no no. The sky is dark; the moon is grey In that kind of way nothing’s certain oh no.
Crawl to the door, then stop & freeze- Have you asked yourself why he needs a friend? Because he likes to hurt them.
