One thing I think about a lot is how to combat various influences in your life.
Some transits, for example, will bring in a lot of dark energy. Others aggressive red energy. Others uplifting delusions that lead to your doom. What is the best way of handling this?
In theory, you could harness this energy for a successful outcome. Use the red energy to become a fireman. The dark energy to become a detective. But what about when the energy is coming from outside sources…. someone is screaming at you, someone is trying to murder you? Will becoming a fireman really help?
Let’s say for example, you are having a Mars transit causing clash and conflict in relationships. In my experience, if you try to become more assertive at this time it will blow up in your face. You are cranking up the heat on a situation that is already too hot.
Same as trying to become more spiritual under a Neptune influence. You are already too deluded. If you try to become more spiritual you just end up in white robes with a dick in your mouth. You could even go insane.
I’ve experienced this a lot with dark Pluto transits. I’ll tell myself maybe Pluto is fucking with me because I’m not black enough. This line of thought stems from when I lived in New England. They really hated fire there and yet their houses were always burning down. So I assumed fire was getting revenge on them for not embracing it. But maybe I was wrong & the houses were just burning due to being hundreds of years old or people needing insurance money.
But regardless, this led me to try adding black energy when Pluto got too scary in the hopes this would pacify him. Which always led to disaster. Violence, injuries, being scapegoated & generally ass raped which is Pluto’s signature move. Things got scarier. No matter how much I liked the idea in theory it didn’t work in practice.
Applying opposite energies seems to work better. You can cut down on anger & aggression during Mars transits if you stick to colors like blue and green, while avoiding red hots at all costs. But sometimes this gives me a little bit of FOMO. Sure, I am dodging a bullet but am I also missing a once in a lifetime chance to become a fireman?
I don’t know. Some people think air conditioning is an appropriate response to hot & humid summers while others think it is better to eat chile peppers & bake in the sun to acclimate yourself. Who is right & who is wrong? I worry about this every day.
But one thing is sure. In a crisis, when suffering from heat stroke, AC, shade & water are better than building a bonfire. At least until the immediate threat passes.
So perhaps when assaulted by darkness it is better to go to church & become a saint rather than buy a cauldron.
I’m not sure. I am currently being assaulted by darkness so I will try the “Become a Saint” approach & let you know how it goes. If you don’t hear from me again, you will know it didn’t go well.
(Originally published February 4, 2023 then lost in server crash & resurrected on this day.)
Since I am currently having a Saturn transit I am torn between my desire to crawl under a rock and that voice which tells you you must always press forward so I’m just going to publish this then go hide.
Cold tea, dance with me Give me something more to eat Hold my head & help me find the sun.
Red fire, warm & bright Stay with me for one more night Tomorrow we go pay for what we’ve done.
You are my red eye by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head & tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Words spin round and round Only sky where was the ground? Leave my house you dirty cunt I’m done.
Fist eye, hot head fly Falling down the stairs was I Hold my head & tell me I was fun.
You are my best friend by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head and tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Come to me love like a bone The only love I’ve ever known A spark of light then miles and miles of dark.
Burning hands and sparkly eyes And miles and miles away the skies To settle down around around us in the park.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
(Originally published February 15th 2023 then lost in server crash.)
Basically this is the audio to the video I just uploaded because I’m too lazy to do another recording. Well not too lazy exactly. Can I just rant for one minute?
Imagine you are a straight male musician & you love writing songs. But every time you write a song you are required to get fucked up the ass, beat up by three muscle men & left on the side of the highway to walk home.
That is how I feel because every time I write a song- which I like- I then have to record it which I hate. I hate wires and machines and weird pieces of black plastic. I hate computer interfaces filled with random squiggles. I have no idea what anything means. And just the mechanical nature of sound itself. Why is this staticy? Why do I sound a million miles away? I don’t know!! It all feels….. beyond what humans are meant to know. It makes me want to cry.
But now I must stop complaining. And remember the words of my friends.
Thorney: Inch by inch, it becomes a cinch.
Moxy: To every problem, there is a practical solution.
Dad/Nietzche: That which does not kill you makes you stronger.
Dad/Schwarzennegger: No pain no gain.
Dad: Bend over and grab your ankles.
Cold tea, dance with me Give me something more to eat Hold my head & help me find the sun.
Red fire, warm & bright Stay with me for one more night Tomorrow we go pay for what we’ve done.
You are my red eye by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head & tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Words spin round and round Only sky where was the ground? Leave my house you dirty cunt I’m done.
Fist eye, hot head fly Falling down the stairs was I Hold my head & tell me I was fun.
You are my best friend by & by You are my fire come from the sky Now take my head and tell me what I need to know this time.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
Come to me love like a bone The only love I’ve ever known A spark of light then miles and miles of dark.
Burning hands and sparkly eyes And miles and miles away the skies To settle down around around us in the park.
Like a slave I was placed on earth to follow. Like a dog, put down when I’m wrong. But I won’t break at a jagged fate to swallow You just play; I sing along.
(Originally published February 17, 2023 before server crash.)
They came on clouds to comfort me Lay down they said I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now They said one day they’d ride with me We’ll fly so far- invisibility.
Play play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
One man was fire, one man was rain What mad desire I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now Between the two, which one should I believe? I trusted fire the more- invisibility.
Play play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
And so fire came to get down on one knee And gift me pain I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now For I know that I was made to suffer and to bleed Hurt me more, invisibility.
Play play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
(Recovered file from February 28, 2023 after website crashed…. still haven’t figured out how to get music back in.)
They came on clouds to comfort me Lay down, they said I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now They said one day they’d ride with me We’ll fly so far- invisibility.
Pla,y play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards again or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
One man was fire, one man was rain What mad desire I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now Between the two, which one should I believe? I trusted fire the more- invisibility.
Play, play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
And so fire got down upon one knee To gift me pain I close my eyes now, I close my eyes now For I know that I was made to suffer and to bleed Hurt me more, invisibility.
Play, play another game for they don’t know What may be coming down the line Lay out the cards or they won’t go So sure the king would come this time.
First bring the needle out Tighten up the tourniquet And now you feel the waters flow And now the whole world grows so wet
And now how blood is beautiful Liquid ruby through your veins and I will love you fire to fire Desire. You make me feel pain.
Falling back again With your eyes an inch a way And somehow turn from day to night Then somehow turn from night to day
And now you light your pipe again And now you speak your words they’re never true You feel the room spin round and round Theres only me and you and now
How red is beautiful Liquid ruby through my veins And I, I feel the world dissolve resolve You make me feel pain.
First bring the needle out Slide it through my eye oh I oh I How I could live for this So high above the world I fly I fly
I’ll love you fire to fire And I will love you flame to flame And I oh will I marry you, I do You make me feel pain.
First bring the needle out Tighten up the tourniquet And now you feel the waters flow And now the whole world grows so wet
And now how blood is beautiful Liquid ruby through your veins and I will love you fire to fire Desire. You make me feel pain.
Falling back again With your eyes an inch a way And somehow turn from day to night Then somehow turn from night to day
And now you light your pipe again And now you speak your words they’re never true You feel the room spin round and round Theres only me and you and now
How red is beautiful Liquid ruby through my veins And I, I feel the world dissolve resolve You make me feel pain.
First bring the needle out Slide it through my eye oh I oh I How I could live for this So high above the world I fly I fly
I’ll love you fire to fire And I will love you flame to flame And I oh will I marry you, I do You make me feel pain.
* I have another song named Paradise too. Is that okay? Actually Paradise is one of my favorite words & I am thinking I might write a bunch more songs with this name if it doesn’t present practical problems….
I’m adddicted to you Like a bullet I fly I feel red in my head And a fire in my mind Could you tell me what the ring around your neck is for?
Could I knock you around? Can I call on the phone? Let me come on your feet Let me come in your home Let’s get it done I don’t know what we could be waiting for If you gotta a minute I could oooo yeah!
I’m addicted to you I got something inside It needs somewhere to go Wanna go for a ride? I could tell you’re an original & maybe more
Could there be other men? Well there maybe could be But right now it feels like You got something i need What’s in your hand I don’t know what you could be waiting for If you gotta minute I could ooooo yeah!
I’m addicted to you Wanna push you around Put my hands on your neck Falling into the ground I could swirl you in a bucket knock it on the floor
Beating onto your chest Feeling something inside And now I gotta go Something don’t feel right Maybe this was just a slip a cok and nothing more Only for a minute I could oooo yeah!
