Category: Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts
‘Oh! I wish you were dead.
Then I could get some sleep, just please put a bullet in your head.
Oh! You better not speak again.’
Slide to the floor, let it hold me once more, my thick and heavy friend.
Here come the Lights! Here come the Lights!
I’ll follow them now, though they’re guiding me down
Because they’ve come to set things right.
Here come the Lights!
Oh! It’s like a parade-
Everyone dancing around in the sun while I’m searching for the shade
Or someone who can help me understand the things I’ve seen;
But the dark world engulfs me, he’ll never let go because I am his queen.
Here come the Lights! Here come the Lights!
I’ll follow them now, though they’re guiding me down
Because they’ve come to set things right.
Here come the Lights!
Oh! So this is the night?
And these are the friends who slide under the door in the guise of liquid light?
Oh! This is the Column of Heat!
You have arrived, now I will shut my eyes because I know it’s safe to sleep.
Here come the Lights! Here come the Lights!
I’ll follow them now, though they’re guiding me down
Because they’ve come to set things right.
Here come the Lights!
This is a song sung by a person who has been murdered. She is singing to her parents who are searching for her, not knowing if she is still alive. It is based on real events. 🙁
I hate dark & scary things. That is why I sometimes write songs about them. Songs can spin bad things out of this reality into another one. For the same reason, I rarely write songs about good things, for fear that I might accidentally spin them out of this world.
Here is the lyrics. That is wrong grammar, right? but I am so tired of good grammar. What has it ever done for me? I just want grammar to match the way I feel. But there are people who judge intelligence by adherence to proper form. I know you aren’t that way, and it is part of why I like you so much.
But I do fear the judgments of others. Mostly, because I don’t feel confident in my ability to survive in this world. Maybe one day I will be walking the streets without food or shelter and the judgments people have of my value will be the only thing standing between me and death.
So, for the sake of survival I try to be dignified. But it is a heavy load to bear. Sometimes I wish I could be free- but you know where freedom leads- straight to the homeless shelter. Or the insane asylum. I also have a fear of being locked up in a mad house, with people using my own words to prove that I am out of my mind. It is a very easy thing for me to imagine.
Did I tell you about the time I was accused of wanting to murder a gigantic man and taken to be evaluated by psychiatrists who viewed my “eccentricities” (such as nail polish & proclivity for walking) as signs of a murderous personality? Did I tell you about the time I was said to have raped a gigantic woman? How would I even do these things and why? I don’t know. But what I do know, is that if you seem different somehow, it is easy for others to project whatever meanings they like onto these differences.
If you want to stay safe, dignity is the best choice. But it is a heavy load to bear.
*
Push through trees at night you’ll never
Find the one you’ll love forever.
Some die, some don’t; some will, some won’t
Follow me & I will show you.
Come find me, keep in mind we
won’t be coming home- I am bone.
Shine a flashlight on the dark ground
Time changes thing until they can no longer be found.
I once swore to go before you
Follow me & I will show you.
Come find me, keep in mind we
won’t be coming home- I am bone.
When they scream you’ll know they’ve found me
Terror and shock they will surround me.
Don’t shake don’t cry, I am nearby
Follow me and I will show you.
Come find me, keep in mind we
won’t be coming home- I am bone.
Following your footprints through the checkerboard of night
Guided like a lantern by the moon’s uncertain light
Oh I…. an animal that bleeds for you
Oh I… a spirit of the air.
Once I crossed the checkerboard to find a golden ring
Hidden like a promise in the pocket of a king
To the line where only pines remain
All the men afraid to kill had dropped out of the game.
First a flame appeared upon the ocean
Then a message flashed upon the wall
Please don’t tell me nothing has been broken
That’s just to say it was never there at all.
Walking through the dark world where the moon still rules the sky
Everything I wanted came & then left me behind
Oh I… a spirit seeking blood from you
Oh I… a spirit of the air.
Shadow of a sword appears within a silver creek
Could it be a knight and not another king I seek?
Someone who can bring the blood from everywhere
Spreading it like glory through my hair.
First a flame appears upon the ocean
Then a message flashed upon the wall
Please don’t tell me nothing has been broken
That’s just to say it was never there at all.
You were strong & wealthy & your made me feel alive
Everyone was made to kneel; I never had to hide
Oh I… an animal that lived with in your shoe
All the golden dreams I had they came from you.
First a silver light falls on the ocean
Silver men line up against the wall
Please don’t tell me nothing has been broken
That’s just to say it was never there at all.
Talk to me, angels, you know I will do what you say.
But time’s running out and I can’t take the bad things away.
Hooked to his fire hose, I’m pounded by night and by day.
Send me just one star- I promise you I’ll break away.
Palm of my hands is a sign
Stretch my arms out
You’ll place your hands in mine and we’ll fly.
So many stars and they seem to shine every which way.
Head in my hands, I can not understand what they say.
Every time he comes, you know that I kneel down to pray.
I saw you shining the last time that he made me pay
And you saw me
What did you do?
No, not a thing
Did I mean nothing to you?
But a sign, give me a sign.
Every road leads to a new road that seems just the same.
Your hands are silky, they’re gripping an ivory tipped cane.
Stand at the crossroads, you stare past me without a glance,
Angels and stars they abandoned me- now I’ll give you your chance.
Dark of the night
Will you love me?
Could I be yours?
Could we be happy and free?
Like a sign, give me a sign.
Talk to me, angels, you know I will do what you say.
But time’s running out and I can’t take the bad things away.
Hooked to his fire hose, I’m pounded by night and by day.
Send me just one star- I promise you I’ll break away.
Palm of my hands is a sign
Stretch my arms out
You’ll place your hands in mine and we’ll fly.
So many stars and they seem to shine every which way.
Head in my hands, I can not understand what they say.
Every time he comes, you know that I kneel down to pray.
I saw you shining the last time that he made me pay
And you saw me
What did you do?
No, not a thing
Did I mean nothing to you?
But a sign, give me a sign.
Every road leads to a new road that seems just the same.
Your hands are silky, they’re gripping an ivory tipped cane.
Stand at the crossroads, you stare past me without a glance,
Angels and stars they abandoned me- now I’ll give you your chance.
Dark of the night
Will you love me?
Could I be yours?
Could we be happy and free?
Like a sign, give me a sign.
Download MP3: A Sign
Right and wrong
Is not the things I know about.
A song- but I could calm the waters on a cold, gray day
You will know my name.
I am a cloud; you can’t hurt me!
Strike against me with your strongest hand
Blow you like a boy across the waters
Smash you like a board back to the land.
Filling up the sails of the sailors
You’ll never know where I lie
Cut me, it won’t make you any braver
Falling out of favor with the sky.
Right and wrong
Is not the things I know about.
A song- but I could still the waters on a cold, gray day
You will know my name.
I am a cloud; you can’t hurt me!
Fall upon me with your heavy hand
Run away and yet I seem to follow
Clinging to your whiskers like the sand.
Creeping like a fog above the waters
You’ll never know where I lie
Curling round your shoulders like a vapor
Sucking from your lungs another sigh.
Forty stars against the light of day
Forty stars that draw away, away, away.
Right and wrong
Are not the things I care about.
A song- but I could cool the waters on a cold, gray day
You will call my name.
A song… I guess… about my love for men who are boring on the outside but shady* on the inside- like detectives… or maybe it is a song about my love for the gray clouds and fog that hang over West Virginia in the early spring. All I know for certain is that I wrote this song while thinking about the constellation Scorpio in a bathtub… sometimes when I am feeling down or lost I will choose a constellation to think about to cheer me up… and the moon was in Scorpio at the time, which is why I chose it, maybe. I was in the bathtub because it was the only bathing device in the house, the house being from 1907. However, a shower head has just been installed, so life is more normal now.
*Secretive, I mean. I secretly admire people who have that quality, because I usually end up spilling all the contents of my mind, whether I mean to or not.
You could be my dark man
Stranger in the park man
Standing in your trench coat flashing
Stars above but somethings crashing down
You could be my shady friend
Standing where the street lights end
Shadows fall always behind you
No one seeks and no one finds you now
Clouds stretch so far away
Endless worlds of endless grey
Walk before me and I’l follow you
This road leads us to tomorrow, true?
Clouds takes shape but they always lie
We’ll get bored but we’ll never die
Lay your hand upon my head now
Lead me through the fog and dread now
You could be my shadow man
To offer me your white bread hand
Shelling peanuts with your finger
A dusty feeling I remember now
Life can be so many things
Sometimes swirling like a dream
Sometimes flat I’m trapped inside it
Close my eyes but they won’t hide it
Half alive but that’s okay
The other half is filled with gray
Eyes are reaching through the fog and lace
From another world I can almost place
You could be my answer man
A book to dull to understand
A slice of bread upon my plate
The rusty and forgotten gate to now.
For a sign
Some people complain about time, boy
I could always see what was mine, boy
I could stand for ever and just watch the stars unwind.
For a name,
A piece of gold to hold in the rain, boy
So buy up all the land you can claim, boy
I will stay behind you in the darkness and I’ll pray-
Pray to men that live in water, men that live in dreams
Show me how to love and conquer, show me what it truly means to
Fall
Show me how to fall.
For a dream
To chase after that glittering gleam, boy
Though things will never be as they seem, boy
Diamonds in your hand evaporating into steam.
And a fate
You can’t stand beside the water and wait, boy
Not many in this world who are brave, boy
I will stay behind you in the darkness and I’ll pray-
Pray to stars that keep us shining, pooling in the night
Stars of love and stars of violence, show us how to truly fight and
Fall
Show me how to fall.
Then the mist
It will flow around you like this, boy
Your thoughts will start to garble and twist, boy
Feeling with your hand to find the something you have missed.
Then the night
It starts when you get used to light, boy
Things will start to dim but not quite, boy
Feeling with your hand you realize that you are dying…
But are you dying from asphyxiation, dying from a flood?
Dying for a drop of luster, dying for some blood?
I will hold you in my mind then, shining like a dream
Emerald lights upon your shoulder- shining like an emerald king and
Fall
Show me how to fall.
A song about something that really bothers me- human sacrifice.
Turn your eyes to the side
We promise you won’t see the knife
Cold, glide, pain, slide
Goodbye strife, life.
Cold marble burns the skin
Checkerboard floor never ends
Life is a maze, I chose wrong
White on black, I do not belong-
I let them in.
They will sing, I have no choice
Candlelight will be my voice
Fear flows, let it spread
Life was the box into which I bled-
I bled for them.
They will stare into my eyes
They will watch me with eyes dry
They shine, anticipate
Lift the chalice from the plate-
I fly for them.
Turn your eyes to the side
We promise you won’t see the knife
Cold, glide, pain, slide
Goodbye strife, life.
