Tag: clouds

Well, I finally forced myself to do an esp journal to see what is going on above my head and it appears the newest thing is that I have a lot of secret enemies, who appear like colored clouds floating above my head, some with lightning bolts contained within the cloud but not striking. I guess they are just waiting for the right time.

Astrologically I have been having a transit (Pluto on Mercury)* which causes a person to speak more forcibly & creates secret enemies since being outspoken alienates people, while seeming forceful motivates them to oppose you in sneaky ways rather than openly.

I used to have people attacking me directly all the time. “You’re the dumbest person I ever met.” “Who wants to hear a nazi singing?” etc etc. It was constant, probably because while I expressed opinions I also tried to be overly nice, making me an easy target. Then I became friends with a bunch of feminists who would constantly go ballistic on people and that started to get me more comfortable with the idea of standing up for myself. The feminists scorned those who coddled male egos, calling them ball palmers & hand maidens. This inspired me to stop my incessant ass kissing. Which caused me to lose most of my male friends.

Now, a year or so later, people open direct fire on me much more rarely. But not because they like me better. Just because they are waiting for their moment to Ceasar me. In many cases I know their identities. But one of the great mysteries of life has always been what you are supposed to do if you know someone is going to commit a crime that they haven’t yet committed? You can’t exactly punish them ahead of time. And if you start cutting people off for things they haven’t yet done, everyone will assume you are paranoid. But just sitting on your hands & waiting for someone to murder you also seems pretty lame.

A few years ago I didn’t even believe in enemies, although looking back, I definitely had them. Just the word enemies would have seemed a bit dirty to me. In fact I still feel pangs of guilt for using such an unladylike word rather than pretending that we are All One. But whatever. God devoted 2 out of his 12 starry houses to them and I am sure he knew what he was doing.

Sometimes enemies may even be preferable to friends because they encourage cunning & self reliance rather than bleeding yourself out for approval. You don’t have to merge with your enemies or give them 3/4 of your sandwich. Unless of course they are pretending to be your friends and you are going along with it, unsure of what else to do.

This past year has been all about females, but this coming year I hope to interact with more males because I feel they have the type of knowledge I need. They don’t seem to lose a sense of their individual identity in the way that women do.

* In case you care about astrology, technically Pluto is sextiling my Mercury. I don’t share the popular opinion that sextiles are positive.

My view on sextiles is that they give you baby challenges which allow you to learn important lessons in a relatively safe setting. For example, the enemies I currently deal with pose no mortal threat to me. (I hope.) If I wanted to I could dismiss them as being too trivial to care about. If I did this, however, I would not learn lessons which will be vital when Pluto squares Mercury. During squares & opposition, failure has real consequences.

Therefore, I always take the events of sextiles seriously- at least from a learning perspective- and try to get things right, so I will be ready when life gets real.