Categories
Hurricane, West Virginia Minerals, Mountains, Crystals, Ice, and White Music & Songs

I don’t feel love

 

I was intending for this song to be the last of my “Pathetiques-” those songs which express the most pathetic slice of my soul. Therefore, I took some time off from writing in the hopes of tapping into a more vigorous part of myself.

But since I spent that time painting my apartment pink and learning the daintiest of sciences, chemistry, it may be that my descent into patheticness is just beginning.

*Two Clouds

Handkerchief rests like a weight on my chest, I can’t breath, oh no
I knew from the start the things that come will go

You say you love me, but love is a word, tra la la, I know
Life floods when it comes and where it goes it goes

Restrain, I can’t breath, mind tries focusing
But what is there on which I can rely

I don’t feel love, I don’t feel real
Please don’t let them know how I feel.

Handkerchief lies like a weight on my eyes, I can’t see, oh no
I’ll come when you say come and where you go I’ll go

Hand on my chest, you gotta breath in and you must let go
But even when I gasp and wheeze the air will never flow

Faces in a blur, cold hearts, I am sure
Though their hands reach through the fog, I will demure

I don’t feel love, I don’t feel real
Please don’t let them know how I feel.

Smile girl, take your place
You knew life was a masquerade
Take a deep breath, then resume your place.

Everyone said the spring would arrive, so just wait through pain
I sat on the bench and waited for the rain

Scent of the pine, scent of the drops which on the needles lie
I waited for the thing on which I could rely

Silence is that you? Silver and golden too
Fallen on the forest floor, I walked all over you

I don’t feel love, I don’t feel real
Please don’t let them know how I feel.

 

Download MP3: I Don’t Feel Love

Categories
Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Plants and the Emerald Kingdom

Pikey

 

 

Pikey, remember when we met and we kissed on a stone?Heart in a Box
We moved away, just the two of us, so far from home?

Do you remember when we wandered through the green fields together?
You held my hand, you promised you would hold it forever?

Summertime, you were there
You stood by side, shadows fell everywhere
like a dream, oh. like a dream, oh.

Gathering the hazelnuts that will help me to learn as I
Squint my eyes, far too many lies that I cannot discern

All the friends who used to play with me retreated for the season
The dreams that felt so pillowy dissolved into reason

Autumn came, gray and brown
You stood by my side as the leaves blew around
like a dream, oh. like a dream, oh.

You drew a map upon our wall showing how the land lies
You stocked up our basement with so many supplies
You made me walk through the gloomy woods for hours each day
You lit a fire, you told me you had something to say

Winter comes, don’t despair
You won’t see my face, but you know I’ll be there
like a dream, oh. like a dream, oh.

Pikey, can you hear me now, cause it’s hard to be brave?
Pikey, if I close my eyes can you see my hand wave?

People come with open arms; I don’t want to touch them
If you were here, you’d guard the door, with thick hands you’d crush them

Springtime, robin’s nest
Green shoots up again, little knife in my chest
like a dream, oh. like a dream, oh.

 

Download MP3: Pikey

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Plants and the Emerald Kingdom Uncategorized

Pillowman

 

You are so soft and warm, dusted with flowers
My face in the palm of your hand, I feel powerful
Tell me again that you like my soft head
I am an egg I will rest in your bed.

Hold me through nightshirts, hold me through pajama pants
Hold me so tight I am forced to give up the dance
Tie me to the bed and don’t let me escape from you
Outside it’s cold, but you are my you are my

Pillowman dance, Pillowman sing
Let me ride, let me ride in your basket that’s filled with the spring
Hope will come again, that’s what they say to me
Every green blade of grass bends down to pray for me

Filling my dreams with the scent of green fieldsSlippers
A world so soft; a world where the obstacles will yield
To a kind world, yield to a smile
A plate full of cookies will persuade luck to stay for a while

Then I’ll walk back to a world that is cold
Where the smiles and the cookies are all bought and sold
But first leave me with something I can understand
A scrap of pink flannel I’ll hide in my hand

Pillowman guard me, stand watch at my door
Comfort me when I can’t comfort myself anymore
When it hurts and they’re trying to charm me
Knock on my door with intentions to harm me

I bury my face in your pillowy skin
Breath through your pores and I feel peace descend
To my brain like a powder that fills up my nose
Is it true- everything comes and everything goes?

Just then the darkness begins to arise
Surprised to find that someone realized
That I I I I deserve to be befriended
Your hands on my heart til the day it has mended

And as the black blood seeps into my brain
Carrying the knowledge that made me go insane
Black leather images bite me with fangs
Held in your arms, I’m contorting with pangs

But Pillowman fights the past with his soft fists
Pulls out his scalpel for the pieces of evil that resist
Because I I I deserve to be defended
My tears on his sleeve for the things that have ended

Head on your heart and your fuzz fills my ears
Stroking my brain as it struggles with so many fears
I wish I knew how not to be afraid
But until then, Pillowman will be my friend.

 

Download Mp3: Pillowman

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Plants and the Emerald Kingdom Uncategorized

Potatoes in a Field

 

Hunched in a field, you sing in deep voicesPotato in a Field
The seeds and the soil of a world without choices
Take off your clothes at the end of the day
Lie down in a bed made of burlap and hay

The sun sinks, the sky pinks through your window so crude
Your feet hard, your back scarred, your stomach needs food
But you see your ancestors line up in brown
You hear their solemn songs sung in a round

Voice so low, Voices so deep
They crossed the ocean for you
They crossed the ocean so you could arrive
They never died.

Wiping your brow with the back of your brown hand
Your eyes are like horses, they run across this land
You see more than most, around corners and curves
Your heavy mind stays when the lighter mind swerves

Steady and patient, heavy and kind
Wearing brown pants made of burlap and twine
Nose to the grindstone, monks of the dirt
Callouses, sunsets, and visions that hurt

Voice so low, Voices so deep
They crossed the ocean for you
They crossed the ocean so you could arrive
They never died.

Your eyes follow time when it curves round the bend
You watch all the lighter ones run to destruction
They were mistaken, they thought life had an end
They ate all their seeds and then came to the bend

Shocked to discover the road just continued
Forced to keep marching without any food
You hear their cries and it makes your heart burn
But how can you give to them the things they must earn?

Voice so low, Voices so deep
They crossed the ocean for you
They crossed the ocean so you could arrive
They never died.

You know forever, you know eternity
As plain as the table where you sit for your cup of tea
You counsel your children to never waste seeds
Life is long, you must be strong, persist in good deeds.

You tell them to remember when they labor in the fields
To listen to the voices that sing in their ears
To those who are patient all will be revealed
Remember who you are, my sons- potatoes in a field.

Voice so low, Voices so deep
They crossed the ocean for you
They crossed the ocean so you could arrive
They never died.

 

Download MP3: Potatoes in a Field

Categories
Hurricane, West Virginia Minerals, Mountains, Crystals, Ice, and White Music & Songs

The World is Cold

 

I know you’re supposed to roam and run
the world is big so go have fun they sayAmerica
don’t hide away.

I know you’re supposed to give it up
sniff like a dog and fill your cup with wine
at least some of the time.

But the world is cold; it’s only for the bold
love is just a story we are told.

Though the world is wide, I’d like to stay inside
cause every time they spoke to me they lied.

I know you’re supposed to say you care
to breathe in deep and fill your lungs with air
a refreshing prayer.

Cause air is love and it fills the streets
between you and the people that you meet
so clear and sweet.

But I know they lied, they tried to come inside
only to consume the food on which I relied.

I am the bruise; I will refuse
to let them turn my armor into ooze.

Love is shy, pale and weak
it isn’t safe for love to walk these streets.

The world is big but it’s filled with lies
smiles with its mouth but never with its eyes
what a gray disguise.

The world is wide but it’s flat and square
you can run and run but you won’t find love out there
on this I swear.

Although life is long, it’s only for the strong
hiding in the corner is the place where I belong.

Because the world is cold; it’s only for the bold
love is just a story we are told.

 

Download MP3: The World Is Cold

 

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

The Golden Crown

 

Fingertips ruffled like lace
Shadows spill like coffee on your face
I know you would prefer something easier

Cotton sheets curl around your leg
Heart sleeps on your pillow like an egg
I know you would prefer something breezier

Lost in the mirror I am dog chained in the snowGolden Crown
Limp in the legs and circle round; no place else to go

beaten down
lost in brown
ears fill with a buzzing sound
when i close my eyes, i still see the golden crown

Morning wakes drenching us in gold
Hot head always quick to scold
I know you would prefer something dreamier

Hot head always something wrong
I squirm, eager to belong
I know you would prefer something creamier

Cream in your coffee black; watch me fill it up
Overflow and drip and spill; watch me lick it up

beaten down
lost in brown
ears fill with a buzzing sound
when i close my eyes, i still see the golden crown

Sleeping on the floor at night, do you hear me breathe?
Butterflies and unicorns, eager to believe

Close my eyes when they start to burn
Swollen shut talking out of turn
I know I should have mentioned it earlier

Rest my head on a moldy towel
Thick and thin, forever and now
I know I should have been something pearlier

Dipped in a cotton cloud, that’s my little girl
Nothing’s real and nothing’s wrong
In our little world

Home sweet home
Dog and bone
Old friends calling on the phone
Holding hands with everyone you’ve known

beaten down
lost in brown
ears fill with a buzzing sound
when i close my eyes, i still see the golden crown

 

Download MP3: The Golden Crown

Categories
Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs

Mommy & Me

 

Trapped inside me is a mother
Trapped inside me is a rolly polly girlMommy and Me
I’m gonna shake it like no other
I’m gonna spread my crazy fingers through the world.

We will always be together child
We can get through any weather child.

Mommy sees me in the mirror
Mommy runs her crazy fingers through my hair
Mommy knows I like her makeup
Mommy knows I like those crazy clothes she wears.

We will always be together child
We can get through any weather child.

Mommy says I am her angel
Mommy says I am her bouncy flouncy boy
Mommy sets me on the table
Mommy says that when I dance it brings her joy.

We will always be together child
We can get through any weather child.

Mommy dances beside me; in the mirror we are one
Mommy dances behind me; mommy and me have so much fun.

Trapped inside a woman
I dab her makeup when it dribbles down my face
Trapped inside me is a lady
Watch this lady dance her way to outer space.

We will always be together child
We can get through any weather child.

 

Download MP3: Mommy & Me

Categories
Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Throne of Ice

 

I read somewhere that all serial killers must love two colors- purple and black. Black brings in the violence, and purple leads them to murder for reasons that are fanciful and grandiose.

Not that lovers of purple are more likely to be violent. If anything, they are probably less so. A few days ago, I got a dog named Lavender Slippers. Her favorite color is light purple and she is the most sweet and gentle dog ever. I imagine she has her fanciful side though, because every time she sleeps her legs make strange movements, as though she is dancing in a field of butterflies.

I could probably write a book on the color purple and the people who love it, since it is one of my favorite subjects to think about. But for now, I will just point out that you don’t really want evil and purple to get mixed up, unless you fancy results that are as theatrical as they are horrifying.

 

Throne of IceBeing

Throne of ice, throne of snow
When you go out
Nobody knows where you go
On your evening stroll.

Cobblestones and autumn lights
Fantasy takes purple flights
Nobody knows the beauty you bring
There is a world where you are king.

Your eyes are cruel
With signs of incipient insanity
Butterflies fly fly
Through the air you breathe.

Your mouth is water logged
Your tongue it swims and swirls in a
Purple flood to subsume your love
With blood, with blood.

You would wear lace if it weren’t out of place
Ruffles and bows, powder on your face
Necklaces and stacks of rings
There is a world where you are king.

Pain and ice, blood and blade
Nobody knows the choices you made
They weren’t there when the angel flew
To lay his visions over you.

Your eyes are cruel
With signs of incipient insanity
Butterflies fly fly
Through the air you breathe.

Your mouth is water logged
Your tongue it swims and swirls in a
Purple flood to subsume your love
With blood, with blood.

A purple scream, a careful slice
Lesser people pay the price
But you remember your moment of need
The whole world stood to watch you bleed.

They stood and watched on that autumn day
When you grew wings and you flew away
Away from the sounds of your own screams
You found a world where you are king.

Your eyes are cruel
With signs of incipient insanity
Butterflies fly fly
Through the air you breathe.

Your mouth is water logged
Your tongue it swims and swirls in a
Purple flood to subsume your love
With blood, with blood.

 

Download MP3: Throne of Ice

Categories
Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

Three Kings

 

Three kings lower their crowns
Lift them from their heads and set them on the ground
I know I let you down.

I remember you highBig Snake
Gold star in the sky
Please try to believe me– I never wanted to lie.

Back then I lived in a cloud, my mind in a daze
As I danced like an animal up on the stage
And at midnight he carried me back to his home
So I could chew on his body like a dog on a bone…

And now I must atone.

Three kings lower their crowns
Lift them from their heads and set them on the ground
I know I let you down.

I remember you proud and tall
Head high on the wall
Please try to believe me– I’m sorry that I didn’t call.

But the buttons on his phone were too sticky to touch
And the scabs on my wrist started hurting too much
Cause at night they would open me up with their tools
And then lick at my body till I started to drool…

I disappointed you.

Three kings lower their crowns
Lift them from their heads and set them on the ground
I know I let you down.

Please accept regret for the things I can’t change
For the awkward moments I cannot rearrange
I know I don’t deserve your grace.

Cause the chicken they fed me
I knew it wasn’t fresh
Still I buried my teeth into its withering flesh
And I saved up the bones to keep track of the days
Till he came into my cage and just swept them away.

Then he walked like a king up the stairs to the light
While I was tied by a rope to a permanent night
I know I should do something, something other than freeze
Cause the sock in my mouth tasted like a disease
And I tried to think something, tried to think something smart
But the walls would turn wavy and then crumble apart…

I know I broke your heart.

Three kings lower their crowns
Lift them from their heads and set them on the ground
I know I let you down.

Download MP3: 3 Kings

Categories
Blue, Black, Silver, Water, Moons, Death & Ghosts Hurricane, West Virginia Music & Songs

Hard to Rise

 

Long stick, long legs
Follow me through dark space
Trees of green and underfoot
Plants that eat the midnight dirt.

Follow me; never lag Animal
Long legs, dark path
Twist, turn up the hill
Moonlight hovers around us still.

Hands on my head; spirits are falling
Wind in my ears; voices are calling
These are the ties that bind-
Making it hard to rise.

Take my gift; open it up
Cradled in your hands a cup
Drink the blood; let it fill you
Rubies, nothing can kill you now.

Raise your arms, the sun will fall
Black cape fills with stars
Black man howls and moans
Vibrating your bones.

Hands on my head; spirits are falling
Wind in my ears; voices are calling
These are the ties that bind-
Making it hard to rise.

Black flag flying higher
Stars fill the sky with fire
Blind fold, life’s a dream
Welcome to the new regime.

Stars rise, stars fall
I am animal.
Watch me crawl, watch me leap
Down on my belly I creep.

Step by step, oh what joy!
Feet crush, feet destroy
You shake with alarm
I touch your soft arm.

Hands on my head; spirits are falling
Wind in my ears; voices are calling
These are the ties that bind-
Making it hard to rise.

Download MP3: Hard to Rise