A song about kings, as we approach the month of kings. Sometimes I think the whole winter is the time of kings, it is so solemn and intent on not letting anyone have fun. Plus, it is a time when the amount of money you have comes to the forefront.
Probably due to the fact that Pluto- the dark God of the underworld- has recently entered my House of Money, money has become a subject of interest for me. Not actually making it, of course. More like bringing it up in conversations to make people squirm. Nothing is more deliciously taboo than money, not even sex.
Why is money taboo? Well, when you are poor you can’t let anyone know, or they will realize you are powerless and treat you with less respect. And when you are rich, you can’t let anyone know or they will try to take your money. I find all of that incredibly exciting.
Another thing I love about money is how it allows you to perform simple tests to find out if others care about you (hint: they don’t.) People throw words of love at each other all the time, but how many will back up their words with cold hard cash? Of course, you have to be careful when running these tests, because there are people in the world who are truly generous and still don’t care about you. And some who are generous just long enough to hook their fish. But still, I think it is a good idea to ask your friend for $100 dollars every now and then, and if they say no, never talk to them again.
And now I am remembering all the times friends asked me for money & I said no. I always said no, because I hate to give people money… maybe this is not a good test after all. I am not greedy, you know. In fact, I doubt I have based a single life choice around gaining money (unfortunately.) But I am stingy. Once I get a dollar bill in my hand, I don’t want to let it go. And a true friend would never ask me to.
Money, gifts, and shiny balls… come to Julien now!!!
Well, I didn’t have anyone who could hold a phone for me to take a video, so I had to try another way.
I don’t know what to say about this song so I will just put the lyrics below.
Hope you are doing well.
Stars that watch me from above
Stars that watch from within dreams
Everything I knew of love
Turned much darker than it seemed.
Oh God those stars around my head I let him
Lead me to a bed just like a golden flame, golden flame.
Fumble with my hands, I need something to help me
Stand so I can hold myself to the blade.
I never wanted to be anything like free
I only wanted something kind
But when you took me by the wrist that is the time I changed my mind.
Things that happen in the dark
In the alley down below
Where you’re not supposed to be
Where the good men never go .
But I must find the kitchen sink I need to have another
Drink this is no time to cry, time to cry.
Angels in the air we’ll gather for another
Prayer and then we’ll say goodbye, say goodbye.
I never wanted to be anything like free
I only wanted something kind
But when you took me by the wrist that is the time I changed my mind.
I read the book line by line
Men like women but not all the time
Because women travel in the dark
Women have no friends at all
We just take our greasy hands
Lay them right against the wall.
I saw a man upon the hill he tapped his hat to me
I smiled and that was my mistake, my mistake.
Angels can you stay I’ll need someone to
Pray upon my bones when they break, when they break.
I never wanted to be anything like free
I only wanted something kind
But when you took me by the wrist that is the time I changed my mind.
I only ever wanted someone who could feel me
Someone I could follow from behind
But when you took me by the wrist that is the time I changed my mind.
Now that I have gotten disdain for books out of my system, I would like to share some of my favorites. The two things I look for in a book are a) that it be an autobiography and b) that it not be written by a writer. I don’t want to be impressed by someone’s writing ability; I just want to understand what they are saying. The more simple, the more I like it.
I like books by strange people and books by normal people. Books by “great” people and books by ordinary people. Although ordinary people write books about themselves less frequently, when they do it is a treat. I would prefer a book about a day at the office to a book about the conquest of Rome.
A couple more thoughts…
I hate it when autobiographies begin with endless details about a person’s ancestry.
Many autobiographies are spellbinding in the beginning but become vomit inducing once the person achieves worldly success. Pre-success self lives in a fascinating little world of dreams and struggles, while post-success self inhabits a dry, bloated reality in which they have become an object even to themselves.
So anyway, here are a few favorite books…
Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass by Frederick Douglass
I love books about people who must endure circumstances beyond their control. Two other things that make this book amazing to me…
Freddie’s fate is changed by a magic root.
He finds the “keys to his destiny.” What do I mean? Well, I have this theory that everyone has one- or possibly several- keys that unlock destiny for them. But these keys differ from person to person. One person might need to read every book they get their hands on to tap into their latent powers of luck, while another person might need to focus on growing their hair into long, golden locks.
Freddie had two keys- literacy and fighting. He knew he must learn to read at all costs and- and after receiving the magic root- he realized he must always fight back, even against his master, returning each blow with a blow.
As he admits in the book, this course of action would generally have guaranteed a slave’s death. But since it was his destiny, or perhaps because he held the magic root, it worked for him.
Up from Slavery by Booker T. Washington
Once again, a person who endured hardship and found the keys to their destiny. In the case of Booker, his destiny was unlocked through a devotion to practicality and manual labor. At a time when former slaves were being encouraged to learn French and run for office, he realized the value of learning a practical trade- one that would meet the true needs of humanity. He figured that a man who serves a necessary role will have a secure place in any community, while the fortunes of the high-falluting man will wax and wane.
Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs
I don’t know if Harriet ever found the key to her destiny, but anyone who has the will to spend 7 years curled up in a box to escape slavery is cool in my book. This made me feel better about all the years I have spent in near confinement.
The Crystal Horizon by Reinhold Messner
This book- about Reinhold’s first solo climb of Everest- helped me see how the road to glory is paved with drudgery, pain and hallucinations. I appreciated his simplicity and his willingness to risk his own life while not the lives of others. A cold, high & empty feeling pervaded the whole book, which I found very stimulating.
How I Found Livingstone by Henry M. Stanley
Now for a man who was completely willing to let others die in his quest for glory. But keep in mind that Henry was a soldier himself, risking his life for both the Confederates AND the Yankees, constantly putting himself in danger- not for a social cause- but in the name of Manhood and Adventure.
This book is also an interesting glimpse into Africa of the 1800s, though through a traveler’s perspective. People offended by the racism of days gone by should avoid this book, since Henry believes in the superiority of his own race.
Growing up with Draja Mickaharic by Luke Cullen
A simple book in which Luke recounts his childhood training with a magician. It is not fantastical, however. Even his teacher-the magician- explains to him that magic can only alter the odds by 20%. Eventually, the author decides this advantage is not worth the cost and forsakes magic for an ordinary life.
The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
Not an autobiography, but probably the best book ever written. Timeless animals doing timeless things. What more could you ask for?
The Story of My Experiments with Truth by Mohandas K. Gandhi
A good book for those wanting to take a more extreme approach to life. Drinking his own urine is just the tip of the iceberg. I may have been better off never having read this book, since it fed some of my own extremist tendencies and sent me down a strange path for years. I never drank urine of course, but did develop self-torture routines of my own for the purpose of… actually, I can’t remember exactly what the purpose was supposed to be. To be stronger, I suppose?
But I have come to the conclusion that self-flagellation only works as a spiritual path if you are a man. Because it is the nature of man to rise above his emotions, whereas it is the nature of woman to glean wisdom from hers. Only men should try to conquer themselves.
Eight books is enough for now, but I may be back with more later…
Me, when I lived in a place that had bookstores. Living in New England brought out my scholarly side for some reason.
Oh, and do you happen to like songs about books? Here are a couple to consider…
The BrownLibrary (a song about the ultimate library contained within the Earth)
I love to Read(a song about a person who loves to read, but of course they read the ultimate books- the ones hidden in nature)
Do you ever feel like everything you say is completely wrong? I do. Not that there is something particularly wrong about it, but just that the whole realm of my thought & feeling is off.
I am hoping I can take some time away from both reading and human civilization for a while, living a life of manual labor, so I can clear my head and try to realign it with something more real. It is hard for me to do manual labor, though, because I have been brainwashed to feel that it is a waste of time. If I spend too much time on it, I feel guilty. That is just social pressure, though. My personal feelings are that manual labor is where its at.
Like, I would think, for example, that being a housekeeper would be much richer than working in an office. All the smells, textures, colors… creating a world that is your own and getting to change it at will! How much more intelligent would you be if your didn’t spend your days eating other people’s ideas and vomiting them back up? Ideas that pass from human to human quickly become toxic. Our real ideas come from nature. And in manual labor, it is nature we are interacting with.
You can’t clean a cast iron pot without taking some of the knowledge of iron into yourself. You can’t bake a loaf of cornbread without absorbing a touch of corn’s power- the ability to be evil when evil is called for.* Cotton, wood, metal, plant, clay and fruit… all of it loaded with wisdom and new worlds… all of this loaded into our minds through contact with our hands, making us feel renewed. Inspired.
And yet, the social pressures I feel are always to do something dumb- such as read the “classics” of literature. Some of which are okay- mostly the ones written for children, I think, and the ones written by those who aren’t writers. But most are just belabored retchings of unoriginal ideas, filled with human waste, created only to impress.**
But I guess I don’t need to pit books & manual labor against each other. There is no reason you can’t do both, if you are the pretentious sort. But still, my ideal will always be the illiterate savage, the man of the earth. This isn’t a rebellion against intelligence, as some like to say, just a different idea of where intelligence comes from.
One scholar and one man of the earth take a walk in the park.
*To learn more about my feelings for corn, see here & here .
**I don’t mean to seem completely anti-scholar. I do think scholars have their place and am 20% scholar myself.
Fly away in a little bit
Fly away in a cloud of strings
Like the sun on an icicle
You found your pair of wings.
When the time wasn’t over yet
When the time was ready to begin
When my heart was red lying in a box
Waiting for the sticking pin.
There you go, I know your eyes
Fire like a flash of pain
Feel it burn, feel it end
What is the name of this thing that remains?
Fly away in a little bit
Fly away in a cloud of strings
Like the sun on an icicle
You found your pair of wings.
There you go, the hand that wears the glove of velvet red
Like a woman, like a child, is the man afraid of his own death
Like a woman, like a child- the man who will never fight
Flickering beneath the sky and dying that same night.
Fly away in a little bit
Fly away in a cloud of strings
Like the sun on an icicle
You found your pair of wings.
There you go, the man I know whose legs are far too thin
Find the box and open it to push your stick pin in
Fire I know, death I know, I also know your eyes
Like a woman, like a child- the man who never lies.
Fly away in a little bit
Fly away in a cloud of strings
Like the sun on an icicle
You found your pair of wings.
The moon a crescent in the sky The world a carpet down below He came to place me on the ferris wheel His face a shadow in the show.
Green. Green.
Pull back the curtain and you’ll find An empty room that know one knows Shake your head and climb the ferris wheel This is the world that you will come to know.
Green. Green.
I thought the flowers they would one day, one day I thought the leaves and trees would one day call me home.
You take my hand just like a leaf You show my foot just where to go You help me climb upon the ferris wheel You point down at the world below.
If you are bewildered by the social crazes of recent years- the obsession with sensitivity, the glorification of victimhood, the insistence on compassion even when it is self defeating- you might be happy to know that this state of affairs is the temporary result of the planet Neptune passing through the constellation of Pisces.
Pisces rules sensitivity, weakness, victimhood, and all things of a new age and spiritual nature. It is an idealistic sign that glorifies the sacrifice of self for the greater good. It values emotion over thought, imagination over reality, feminine over masculine, and passive over active. It rules sleep, death, meditation, isolation.
Neptune signifies, among other things, our collective ideals. It can cause us to glamorize things to such an extent that we become out of touch with reality. It takes Neptune 14 years to pass through each sign of the zodiac, and during that time the values of that sign will tend to be glorified in our culture.
So Neptune’s transit through Pisces will coincide with idealizing the subjective, imaginary, and emotional world that Pisces represents.
Some manifestations of Neptune in Pisces include:
Safe spaces & trigger warnings. The importance of feelings and subjective states becomes over-emphasized.
Caitlyn Jenner, Chelsea Manning. They ARE women so long as they say they are. Pisces represents the end of objective reality.
Bernie Sanders. Pisces rules the collective and the dissolution of the individual. The sacrifice of the self for the group. Equality is good. Selfishness is bad.
Colin Kaepernick. The NFL kneeling during the national anthem. The worship of Canada, Scandinavia, and foreign countries in general. Patriotism is bad. Other countries are good. (Pisces rules faraway lands and a longing for Other Places.)
The push to legalize doctor assisted suicide. Pisces rules suicide and death. Life is a dream, a choice, not an absolute value.
The legalization of marijuana. Pisces rules drugs in general, since they enable the escape from objective reality, or at least blur its edges. In addition, marijuana places people in a Piscean stae of mind where ambition is lessened and sensitivity to the artistic and subjective is increased.
Toxic-masculinity, man-splaining, the patriarchy, rape culture and other ideas that seek to de-masculinize our culture. Pisces is a passive, feminine sign which has no need for masculine force and striving.
Black Lives Matter, Gay Parades, #MeToo, #TimesUp. Victimhood is destigmatized and turned into the new status symbol. (Pisces rules victims.) Mental illness (also ruled by Pisces) is destigmatized & turned into a social accessory.
The hatred of weapons, police, government, hunting, oil companies, etc. Just because we eat meat, drive cars, and expect to be protected from bad guys doesn’t mean we are alright with animals being killed, cops wielding authority, or pipelines being built. Pisces likes its comforts, but is dissociated from the practical realities that underlie them.
The rise of yoga, meditation, self-care, journaling etc. Pisces rules emotional healing at its best, comatose navel gazing at its worst.
Bad= Masculinity, judgment, law and order, duty, objectivity, patriotism, competition, ambition, discipline, police, military, government, weapons, rules, responsibility, guns, authority, selfishness, aggression, materialism, individualism, responsibility, greed, Donald Trump.
Although the extremes of this Neptune transit can be both hilarious and frightening, it is also the case that this time represents an important course correction for us as a group, where the value of things which may have been scorned and suppressed in the past are once again brought into focus. We become more willing to confront our pain and insanity, and to recognize the value of our subjective inner world. We learn to blame those who have hurt us, rather than internalizing their assaults as shame. The ultimate purpose of Pisces is the healing of our inner selves so that emotional pain can finally be set aside and life begin anew.
So you may as well take this opportunity to throw a pity party for yourself, because in 2025 Neptune will enter the sign of Aries, a hotheaded, fiery and masculine sign with no regard for the feelings and needs of others. A pioneering spirit will overtake America once again, and those who are weak will not even be mocked, just thoughtlessly trampled underfoot.
