Category: men

A Drop of Gizz

(Saturn is squaring my Mercury causing me to hate everything that comes out of my mouth. If I sound like I’m eating a robot, that’s why.)

I’ve been in that phase again where I write a million blog posts then delete them cause I can’t stop imagining all the reasons people will hate me for anything I say.

Personally I love to read people writing about their own experiences. Whether it is trudging across Antarctica or making their husband a sandwich, I don’t care. But when writing about myself, the voices in my head start calling me a self-absorbed, navel gazing narcissist. Sometimes real people do too.

So then I become an intellectual. A defensive posture. It makes men think you are smart and respect you more. Sometimes it feels like men are highly cue based when evaluating intelligence. A woman in spectacles discussing science is intelligent. A woman gluing cotton bears onto a wreath is not. But I can’t maintain being intellectual. It feels like walking on my hands.

And the Heard-Depp trial is ‘triggering’ me. But I’m afraid to say this. If you want your biscuits, this is the time to say you believe men can be abused just as easily as women. You are supposed to say it is just as bad for a woman to push a man- even if he doesn’t move- as it is for a man to push a woman- even if she falls into a bathtub and hits her head. They are equally bad. It’s violence either way!

You are supposed to say that domestic abuse is a genderless crime. And male victims are too shy to come forward. Depp is helping to change this.

But it’s hard for me to imagine a female using physical force to dominate a man. Even moreso in a case like this where Depp is surrounded by body guards. Not to mention endless money, friends, family, staff, homes, vehicles, planes, yachts, guns, knives etc.

It wouldn’t be impossible. But the only way I could see it happening is if Heard managed to establish a guru-like grip over Depp’s mind. But it is clear from the trial that she was not holding his brain in thrall. Drugs and his demons did that.

Perhaps many do not understand the difference between physical aggression and abuse. Lobbing a ball of socks at someone is not abuse. Punching a man, grabbing a woman’s arm & leaving a bruise, screaming, calling someone a bad name… you can only determine the significance of these events by looking at the larger pattern. If Monica slapped Clinton for gizzing on her dress would that make him a battered husband? Not from my perspective. If she stabbed him through the eye with a pen then we are entering new territory.

Because women can commit acts of violence towards men. They could marry an old man for money then slip poison in his food.

But domestic abuse, imo, is when a person uses intimidation, manipulation, violence & control of resources to establish dominance over their partner, making them unable or unwilling to leave despite bad treatment.

How many men exist who are physically afraid of their wives but too scared to leave? How commonly do women cut off men’s access to money, social contacts and transportation while dominating their bodies and threatening to kill them if they escape?

I’m wincing because the next statement will probably shower hate on me, but it seems possible that trace elements of domination are present in many if not most heterosexual relationships. It’s more than men being stronger, it is also how they are built for war and competition while women obsess over connection, frequently placing them in the role of trying to please.

We try to make things gooey and soft. We want to wear matching pajamas. We glue cotton bears onto a wreath. Men don’t do this. I don’t know why. I’m not judging them for this. I’m just trying to state the obvious in a culture which punishes us for doing so.

Muffin papers. I had planned to start making Business Woman Muffins each morning to sustain me through the day. For a Woman On the Go. That hasn’t happened.

My opponent’s sign encountered while door knocking. Politics is another factor making me feel suppressed. One wrong word could cost me votes.

Especially in a Republican primary. Some conservatives judge you for bad language, sexual language, violent language etc. As though God fast tracks all Scorpios to hell.

A red picture of me to showcase my political dominance and power. I admire red, but also feel it is everything I will never be. Which is why I like to stay near it. Kiss the hand that feeds you.

Would you like to watch a two minute video of a dog’s face accompanied by a song about a frog?

Slipper’s name is substituted for Mr. Froggy’s though cause she loves the sound of it. I also like to read her Bible verses where it’s God talking directly to Slippers. “I shall cover Slippers with my feathers, and under my wings Slippers will rest.”

Tags conservatives, domestic abuse, feminism, men, Mercury, politics, saturn, violence

Charleston, West Virginia men Politics Writings

Obsessions & Possessions

I haven’t written here in a long time because as usual I’ve been swallowed up by various obsessions.

Obsessing over how to become the most practical person that ever lived. But after weeks of agonizing all I could think of was to reorganize my mineral collection. By chemical properties rather than colors. I’m not sure how much this increases my chances of survival but at least it felt manly.

I’ve been learning more about geology in general though sedimentary rocks are the bane of my existence. They seem supernaturally boring. I like minerals much more than rocks. Things such as fossils bore me to tears. Although the aversion then causes a weird attraction since boredom itself is one of the things which fascinates me. I find boring subjects, items & people magnetically attractive. I can’t endure their presence long though before I start to lose consciousness.
Obsessing over building more base notes & deep colors into my personality. Probably because I imagine this will make me more practical & able to survive. Plus, I worry that if my aura is too light & high I will drain others of their vital substance. So each morning I spent a few minutes trying to sing the deepest notes I could.
Obsessing over controlling the universe through magic. I won’t even bother discussing this one except to say that it didn’t work. And also, that magic has nothing to do with wicca or spells or kettles or frogs. It is just about harnessing the energy that already flows through the universe to make it work for you. Just like electricity, water turbines & nuclear power. The universe is complicated though so I never get very far.
Obsessing over male psychology in the hopes of more smoothly co-existing with Black Licorice (husband) also known as The Godfather. Haven’t made much progress with this either. I’m just hoping the more practical I get, the more things will fall into place.

So as usual, all my obsessions fail & I eventually come crawling back on my knees to music as a source of comfort. And this time politics too, as a source of discomfort. I am running for state delegate. James wanted me to do it. I didn’t realize it entailed anything beyond slapping your name on a ballot, so oops.

Door knocking has turned out to be fun though. The stressful part is that Black Licorice wants to go door knocking with me. He does not want me to go by myself. But he is rarely up and dressed before nightfall. So what to do? Play the good female, go with the flow & accept that I lose? Be the bossy lady & attempt to drag him out of bed early accepting the consequences? Or go by myself while he is sleeping & just don’t tell him? I don’t know what is right.

Until recently I didn’t understand why anyone cared about females entering politics. Now I kind of get it. There are issues that specifically impact women. And men- being more geared to action than introspection- aren’t necessarily going to think these issues through from a female point of view.

Recently I’ve been dealing with the issue of abortion, for example, since this is the biggest reason many women won’t vote Republican & I am hoping to bring more women into the Republican party. I think it isn’t just the stance that bothers women but the callous framing of it. (“She knew what she was doing when she spread her legs.” is a statement I have heard a lot recently.) To my surprise, in the conservative framework, the responsibility of not having sex & also birth control lies solely on the woman. If she gets pregnant & suffers greatly as a result she deserves it. Cause she spread her legs.

Meanwhile, the vast majority of pro-life men EXPECT women to have sex before marriage and would not date them if they didn’t. (By their own admission.) They believe in free love. I cannot square these two positions. She shouldn’t have spread her legs. But she is expected to spread her legs. When I suggest that not fornicating should be part of a pro-life stance, they say what goes on in the bedroom is nobody’s business. I tried to float making fornication illegal but no one would go for it. This would restrict their freedom, their choice, which suddenly became more important than “The Slaughter of the Innocents.”

In addition, they do not believe it is their job to marry the mother of their child, which is the only arrangement under which pro-life makes sense to me. You can’t just funnel women into single motherhood regardless of their ability to cope. But the men felt this idea was totally coo coo. Getting married should be their choice. And she knew damn well what she was doing when she spread her legs. None would support a pro-life bill that declared the mother & father to be married by natural law.

Even worse, men were not willing to be compelled to be implanted with a uterus to carry the baby themselves if this became necessary to save it’s life. You can’t force someone to do that! It should be their choice!!!

Color me disillusioned.

Although I will say the conservative women seemed willing to take the blame and suffer to live out their values. I don’t know why they don’t expect more of the men. Except I do. Men like you better when you don’t challenge them. Challenging them rarely works out in your favor anyway. The worse of a mood James is in the more I find myself complimenting him, serving him & agreeing with everything he says. It’s just a self-protective instinct.

The only difference between me and conservative ladies is they feel good about their submission to men because they see it as a virtue. I see mine more as a failing, or a survival decision at best. Cause I believe the world gets better when women are willing to speak and men are willing to listen. But this is hard for both of them. Maybe the only way women can pull this off is to band together. Many great changes in the world have happened as a result of female movements and associations.

Anyway, since all the planets have been travelling through my house of possessions, please allow me to share with you a few possessions I have acquired.

Keys. Although I’ve lived in this house for 4 years, I only now got my own key & key chain. Two actually. (The one on the right was sent to me by mistake & not a fabric I would choose though I have grown to love it.)

A bag. Owning this bag has been my dream for l10 years and now I have it.

Finally a phone which I will need it for the politics thing. I haven’t had a phone in years.

A windowsill full of cars & motorcycles. Hoping this causes a new car to appear in real life. Our current car has a smashed out window & no brakes. The stickers are so old that every car ride includes a cop chase. Black Licorice drives the car wearing glasses that have only ONE lens- a scratched lens- & he attaches them to his head with dental floss. This makes me nervous especially since he frequently goes through a wide range of emotions while driving.

Sunglasses- they are sitting on my head. I associate sunglasses with practical people who run around doing things and need to keep the sun out of their eyes. And after getting them I actually have started running around doing things trying to keep the sun out of my eyes. That is the Kanawha river.

Have to include this photo of Patton since it is the first one that captures his true nature. He is an aggressive dog & highly protective.

Slippers, the half-blood hound. She is my soft thing but has hurt her leg.

My political magnets that I am handing out while door knocking. I love anything with small flowers on it.

And the flowers are symbolic too. While I’m running as a Republican, I don’t represent conservatism, but the desire to preserve freedom so humans can continue to be organic creatures with feelings & thoughts running free, not drones of the phallocracy.

Tags abortion, magic, men, minerals, politics, pro-life, Republicans

men Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Videos

Brother oh (video)

His hands upon me I was spun around.
Tripping over my feet through the softly fading town

Brother no… nobody leads the way
Brother no… nobody leads the way

He turns towords me when the evening shines
His hands upon my head I’ll wait until my time

Brother no….. nobody leads the way
Brother no….. nobody leads the way

First it seems to be a no go
Then he tells you things will fade away
All the while the winds begin to blow
And so you stumble on the way

I know nothing’s gonna make up your mind now love
This is just a matter of fact
I try putting all my thoughts in a line although
This will never bring him back.

His arm around my neck I start to smile
We’ll watch the clouds pass by just for a little while

Brother oh…… I’ll let you lead the way
Brother oh…. I’ll let you lead the way

First it seems to be a rainbow
Then he tells me it’s a cloud of gray
All the while the fog begins to grow so you will
Wander through the day

I know nothing’s gonna make up your mind now love
This is just a matter of fact
I try putting all my thoughts in a line although
This will never bring him back.

He holds me up against the wall til I can fly
Scenes of peaceful villages fade in & out of mind

Brother no… I’ll let you lead the way
Brother no… I’ll let you lead the way.

First he tells you its a no no
Then he tells me I must seize the day
All the while the clouds begin to grow
And they grow colder on the way

I know nothing’s gonna make up your mind now love.
This is just a matter of fact.
I try putting all my thoughts in a line although
This will never bring him back.

Tags clouds, fog, men, rainbows, wind

men My Life Story Uncategorized Writings

I am a Good Wife

Conventional wisdom always encourages people to be vulnerable, open & honest. But I struggle with the reverse- the feeling that it isn’t okay to withhold & keep thoughts to myself.

Especially in marriage. James wants me to tell him everything & says it is damaging if I don’t. Which is great in theory, since I have the desire to share all my thoughts & feelings. But in reality it doesn’t work out so well. Frequently he will get angry about my thoughts or tell me why they are incorrect & then I am forced to go through an endless wrangling process trying to defend them. The process is confusing & doesn’t end until I have either accepted his replacement thoughts or am too tangled up to function anymore.

Now to someone else this might be no problem. They would just share what they wanted to share and keep the rest to themselves. But I have this compulsive feeling that my perceptions must be validated by another person before I can trust them. I can hardly be certain the sky is blue without first asking someone. And I also have this compulsive feeling that I must obey James. I can’t withhold information unless he gives me permission to do so, regardless of how much confusion & discomfort sharing may cause. Basically I don’t trust my own mind & have no will of my own.

I guess this traces back to when I was a teenager & my first husband was my spiritual guide & I needed to tell him absolutely everything so he could remove my ego, realign my thinking & enable me to achieve enlightenment. The process involved lots of screaming & public humiliation, including sexual, since these are the most tried & true methods of ego removal. Since then, I have never been able to regain that feeling of trusting my own mind and feeling that I am my own master. I don’t even know how to explain it to people who take having their own mind and will for granted.

I am trying very hard to put these boundaries back in place but it is a struggle. I don’t feel I have the right to make choices for myself without asking someone else’s permission and am scared of what will happen if I do.

My husband likes control. I don’t mean this as a bad thing and maybe it is even a quality I admire. But one rule of our relationship is that he is allowed to make decisions while I am not. He can decide what to do with money- and spend enormous sums- without consulting me. I cannot access money without consulting him and telling him what I wish to buy. The flip side is that he is much more financially generous with me than he is with himself. Generally he will get me whatever I want- even if it is frivolous or wasteful- while being stingy with himself. And this same pattern applies to all aspects of our relationships. If I want something & it is within his power to give it to me, he probably will. But I am not allowed to make decisions without consulting him, whereas he is allowed to make decisions without consulting me.

I am supposed to trust him. But he isn’t supposed to trust me. I am deemed incapable of making any significant decisions even if they impact no one but myself. As an example, I want to see a shrink & there is one nearby I can see for free. Not because I am looking for guidance, I just want the experience of talking to a human without feeling it is such a struggle to get my thoughts out and have them heard and accepted. I just want to experience something new- the feeling of noncombative communication.

But James is against this. So what are my choices? Try to change his mind? Trying to convince James of anything is impossible. The certain outcome is that I will end up adopting his perspectives because anything else becomes too unpleasant. I could go behind his back, but that would violate my compulsive need to be transparent with him. So the only real option is to tell myself it isn’t a good idea anyway.

The official justification for obeying him is that he is more grounded than me and makes better choices. (I should add here that I am sometimes allowed to make choices- it is just that he decides which choices I am or am not allowed to make.) But the truth is I am just scared of what will happen if I don’t obey him. I am afraid he will find a way of punishing me or else stop loving me which is a punishment itself. Any time I attempt to assert my will it turns into a horrible fight from which it can take me a long time to recover.

I feel like everyone reading this will think either A) Holy shit you are a dumbass or B) Wow, what a horrible wife writing something which could cast her husband in a bad light.

And I have no defense against being a dumbass. I am a fucking dumbass and I live this every day. But I am not a bad wife.

The other day I told James I was suffering from having no one to talk to, that I couldn’t be real with anyone or even on my blog. He said, “Why not? You can write whatever you want.” I said, ” Well I’m worried that you won’t like it.” He said “Just try it and find out- it will be fine. You’ll see. Trust me.”

So I am trying it. And trusting him. Just like he told me to do. I am a good wife.

Tags communication, domination, husbands and wives, marriage, men, men in shorts

Charleston, West Virginia men Writings

Sex Energy- Positive, Negative & Neutral

Post author By julien
Post date January 4, 2022
No Comments on Sex Energy- Positive, Negative & Neutral

All levels of the human mind deal with three types of energy. Positive, negative & neutral.

Positive energy connects us to the future. It is our desires & values. What we want to have & experience. It moves us forward.

Negative energy connects us to the past. It enables us to release things & gives us the depth and wisdom that come from processing experiences.

Neutral energy connects us to the present and our environment.

At the verbal level, for example, affirmations would be an example of positive energy. Talking to a counselor about our problems would be negative energy- we are using words to gain release & insight. Asking someone to pass the salt would be neutral.

And this applies on the sexual level too. Sexual impulses can be positive- this person turns me on because she is my dream girl and I want to marry her. Or they can be negative- this person turns me on because her nose looks like my Aunt Sally’s who molested me as a kid and I still feel ashamed about that. Or- I just lost my job and now I have shameful feelings. I want to release these feelings through my dick so what is something bad I can do that will give me an orgasm?

However, on the surface, these two impulses can look the same because we typically don’t bother to analyze our sexual feelings. We feel a pulse in our dick and think- that must be hot, I must want to fuck that. Why else would I feel this pulse? But a whole world of meaning is there, for those who care to look.

Negative sexuality is similar to music and dreams. It is not a literal reflection of what we want. Instead it is subconscious urges, fears, pains and conflicts bubbling to the surface in a symbolic language. For men especially, it may be one of the main avenues through which their subconscious speaks to them which is why they can get addicted to things like porn which offer so many scenarios designed to tap into different pockets of feeling.

But we are trained to be meatheads when it comes to sex and not analyze the things. We regurgitate simplistic theories from evolutionary psychology which gay men have proven to be false. Our sexual circuits are not just for reproduction- they perform a wide variety of functions just as our mouth does. Or even our speech. To claim that all sexual urges are rooted in a desire to have children would be like saying that all functions of speech relate to the need to warn others of wild animals.

And it causes a lot of consternation, especially for wives and girlfriends, when all sexual impulses are described as caveman urges to mate with someone else. Or when sexual urges are automatically interpreted as attraction. I.e. finding someone beautiful, desirable. In reality, men are well known for losing interest in someone after having sex. Why? Did the person cease to be beautiful and attractive? No, it was just never about that in the first place. Sometimes sex is about trying to get at something within the self and -unfortunately- the other person is little more than an available tissue. Or perhaps a symbolic one who taps an inner conflict (kink).

I grew up in a culture where people were supposed to be happy. Other emotions were viewed in a negative light. There was no emotional release function and this made it difficult to be happy except in a strained and 2 dimensional way. It is this release function, this negative energy, that renews us, bringing depth and purity to our experience. Just as a person can feel rejuvenated by crying. Sometimes the dick needs to cry too.

So what impact does it have on sexual relationships if every sexual thought and feeling must be a feeling of positive love and desire for one’s mate? Does this create a deep and passionate bond over time or would it begin to feel flat and repressive? Time is a big factor, because the more time passes the more negative energies accumulate if not washed away. You can go for a week without a shower, but eventually it catches up with you. People rarely need marriage counselor on their honeymoon, but 20 years later they might. Especially if they are basing their relationship on positive energy without an equivalent ability to embrace negative energy. It is the negative energy that rejuvnates and when we cling to positive charges and resist negative ones either decay or a sudden rupture is certain. The good news is that exploring the negative is every bit as enjoyable as moving towards the positive. This is where life gains its deep and watery energies.

And of course there are neutral sexual energies. These feed you information about your current surroundings & circumstances. Threats and opportunities. A sudden attraction to a firewoman could be your dick trying to tell you your house is on fire. A sexual feeling towards a plump person could mean you need to eat. Rage towards your boss might be chanelled as arousal towards his female equivalent. The possibilities are endless.

In addition, sexual feelings can simply be red beams we are intercepting from others. Sometimes I feel a red beam & turn around me to see a scantily clad female who is looking for sexual attention. If I were a man, I might automatically assume I was attracted to her, when in fact my dick was just picking up her availability signal. Dangers in the environment can also be felt through the dick. The dick is basically an antennae picking up root level information. If sexual thoughts are too tightly controlled a lot of data drops out. But also, if we take the meathead approach of assuming every quiver in our dick represents an urge to sire a child- even if we don’t act on it- this can lead to trouble, hurt and confusion.

So I just wish we could look a little deeper when it comes to sexual feelings. If men are looking at porn, for example, WHY are they looking? Is it really because they think that close up shot of a dick sliding into a butthole is so pretty and men are visual creatures? Is it really because they have the urge to spread their seed through ejaculating into their hand to ensure humanity’s survival? Or is it possible they are attempting- perhaps clumsily- an introspective, healing activity? Trying to release some speck of gravel from their shoe. Flying to a world where females are amazed by their every move and they don’t have to feel like a loser. Releasing feelings of hatred, disgust or aggression that have no place in polite society.

Sexual urges and the meanings behind them are really an entire universe to be explored. These things are only shameful & threatening when they aren’t examined. In reality, they are a symbolic doorway into the deepest parts of our mind where the largest transformations can occur.

Tags fantasy, men in shorts, negativity, positivity, sex, women

Charleston, West Virginia men My Life Story Uncategorized Writings

Being Different People

Husband 1, in a past life, belonged to a race known as the Wise Ones. Wise Ones lived in lavish castles. They did not work. The vibration of their souls attracted great wealth to them. When Wise Ones incarnate on the earth plane however, they struggle to survive without the riches their soul is accustomed to. This can lead to depression and even heart failure.

Sometimes husband would lie on the floor with his hands on his chest, struggling to breath, too heavy for this world. The only thing that could save him was millions of dollars.

It seemed unlikely he could earn the money himself. Years of job aptitude tests had uncovered only two potential career options- wine tasting & boob feeling. I tried to find him a job in the boob feeling industry but massage therapy was too demanding. He got a job in a wine store but they only paid minimum wage.

I painted, wrote songs & made a little money but not enough to support us much less give him the lifestyle he deserved. Then he read a book on channeling and decided that I could channel information on how we could manifest millions of dollars straight from the ethers.

I didn’t feel great about this. Becoming a hollow tube for other beings to speak through wasn’t my cup of tea and I didn’t think I could do it anyway. But he needed millions of dollars within the next few months and I didn’t have a better idea.

So…. to make a long story short, I channeled that we should rename our apartment Archimedian Estates and paint everything inside it pink, gold & black. And we needed to fill it with 100 species of plants & a pet from each animal kingdom. This would make us millionaires.

A couple months later, the whole place was pink, black and gold. We had 26 plants, one snake, two birds, a fish and an eviction notice. Far from being millionaires, husband was now hitting up my friends and family for money- a humiliating fate. We separated then. I felt maybe, just maybe, I could eke out an existence alone, but there was no way in hell I could support a Wise One. They need all of life’s finest things just to survive.

The world was harder than I imagined though and a year later we were back together. The need for channeling picked up. Could I channel Mary, Archangel Michael, the Moon, the spirit of Fame? It made my head feel weird. But if I objected he would say “Hang on- I need to ask Auriel about this!” He yelled at me constantly but never at the other beings. Sometimes I would switch into them just as a safe spot.

Channeling snowballed fast. Before long Julien had been pushed out altogether and replaced by an ever growing cast of characters. It was no longer about channeling advice either. Now it was about him connecting to different women who were his wives and all these different humanoids who were his children.

His children included 5 giants- Brownie, Big Stuff, Ned, Ted & Fred. 1,000 genies called ‘the Hectors.’ And various others such as Sweet Cookie, Shelley, Fufu, Hunkdehunk, Sweetsie & Cherry Lemonade Spritz.

His wives are harder to remember but included Clementine, Ambrosia, Auriel & Earth. He would have sex with them. In general he preferred a different type of female than me- the Strong Business Woman. His wives were closer to this ideal. They even had different bodies.

I don’t know how long the period lasted in which I was continuously other people. Maybe 5 years. During this time husband got a job at Target. I would stay home reading books on magic & trying to do impossible things. Home was various places, like motels in the middle of deserts. Basements on the outskirts of Brooklyn.

I no longer ate normal food but subsisted on weird things like Chuckles & Jello. I liked these foods because they resembled the jell loafs Auriel ate in her world. I didn’t have normal clothes either. At one point the only thing I had to wear was a little girl’s cheerleading skirt he brought me home from Target & a teddy bear sweater (a sweater made for a teddy bear) which I wore as a hat.

Sometimes I would write songs but mostly I was plagued by weird fears, like my legs falling off. Unresolvable mental dilemmas would torture me for days like whether my soul smelled more like rose or ylang ylang. I would prank call people or send them weird letters & they would think I was scary.

I knew I had fallen out of step with society & felt ashamed but couldn’t find my way back. The only person I spoke with was my husband but he didn’t speak to me, just through me to his wives and children. I could no longer choose to not channel them since that would mean separating a man from his entire family, an inhumane act by any standards. They seemed to bring him joy.

And to this day I struggle with dissociative identity disorder. Maybe. But I don’t know if this is related to the time I spent being other people or not.

The End

Shelley. She had a soft jelly-like yellow body & rode in a wheelchair since her body was too soft. She wore a football helmet on her head and kept covered up in a blanket since she got so cold. She loved math & her pet fish. Sometimes I miss these friends & feel sad they are fading from my imagination.

Sweet Cookie who has two very wise pet squirrels- Nimrod & Noodleface. They have all sorts of special knowledge.

Tags desert squirrels, dissolving sense of self, giants, husbands and wives, money, spiritual abuse, spirituality

Charleston, West Virginia men Writings

Submission

Here is my feeling on submitting to your husband- it is inevitable. Wills are made of iron & men have more iron than women.

Still, it annoys me when submission is made into a moral accomplishment. Is falling down the stairs an accomplishment? What about riding down a mountain in a grocery cart? I don’t see anything particularly noble about yielding to someone else. It is more a practical choice.

I don’t like it to be sugar coated either. The happy submissive wife holding a tray of cookies. In real life, submission is an extreme sport. Like surfing. Giant waves come at you and there is nothing you can do to change them, just learn how to not get knocked down. Maybe there is value in living that way.

I recently read the autobiography of Bin Laden’s wife and couldn’t believe how much her life resembled mine. She must follow her husband around and not ask questions. When he comes he comes, when he goes he goes. Things blow up and she isn’t supposed to cry. He moves her to a frozen mountain top with no water or electricity and she doesn’t complain. Only once does she make a request from him- that he spend more time with his boys. He complies by encouraging them to become suicide bombers.

What resonates with me most about all this is that conservative propaganda leads people to believe you submit to your husband in exchange for security. False! There is little security in it. For Bin Laden’s wife, machine guns, bombs & grenades were everywhere. Even if your husband doesn’t lead a militia, full dependence puts you in a precarious position. If he leaves you or you leave him, you are doomed. Yet the odds are over 50% this will happen. If he goes insane you are also doomed. The odds are probably high for this as well. I recently took a poll of women asking what percentage of men- that they have known behind closed doors- were decent & the response averaged out to around 5%. So the probability of dependency meaning security plus home sweet home cookie platters is somewhere around 2%*. And you have little control over whether you end up in this 2% or not. From what I can tell, men are like movies. We can watch them but not impact what happens on the screen. Following a man’s will is not for the faint of heart.

Men seem to think women are obsessed with empowerment and proving they can do what a man can do. But I don’t know any women like this. So called “empowerment” usually serves the more humble purpose of not dying & ensuring your kids survive as well. I imagine most women would prefer decorating cookies for their loving husband to working in a sausage factory making ends meet. They just aren’t in the mood to play russian roulette when the odds are 98% not in their favor.

And it is really really hard to be both the empowered woman and the not-empowered woman at the same time. To devote oneself to home, wife & motherhood while also having a high-powered law career to fall back on.

There are definitely advantages to being a traditional obedient wife. You lose one type of freedom but gain another. The freedom of not having the spend the majority of your energy making a living. This allows you to devote yourself to what you find most meaningful. Maybe you will raise kids. Maybe you will learn to fly. I don’t think being a submissive/dependent wife is a bad option. But it troubles me that the cultural forces which promote it are the same one’s unwilling to acknowledge its true risks & challenges. Conservatives say things like “ a woman can’t be abused unless she wants to cause otherwise she would leave.” Well, how do they figure that? How does a person with no access to resources or survival skills just walk out the door?

This is why conservatives annoy me even though I am one. They are not realistic at all when it comes to women. They love to say that women abuse men just as much as men abuse women. But how exactly? Normally they fall back on the idea that women must be doing some super subtle form of invisible evil which ends up being the exact equivalent to all the dastardly deeds men quite obviously perform in the world. I don’t believe this at all. At the risk of giving someone a hernia, I do believe men are more “bad” than women. Because the masculine principle relates to power. The feminine principle relates to love. There is a reason the taliban is male. It’s not a coincidence.

So what is the solution? I don’t know. Submit to your husband or to your boss at the sausage plant. Her choice. Personally, I avoid the smell of sausage at all costs.

Tags changing your husband, conservatives, empowerment, husbands and wives, Love, men, power, submission, willpower, women

Astrology Charleston, West Virginia men Writings

James’s Slut Transit (Pluto opposite Venus)

Post author By julien
Post date August 2, 2021
7 Comments on James’s Slut Transit (Pluto opposite Venus)

One cool thing about astrology is you get so caught up in the symbolism that by the time you catch your husband in bed with a dwarf you are practically happy about it.

Oh my god- this is perfect! The dwarf had red hair! They were doing anal!! Can you think of anything better for Uranus in Aries?!?

The past year or so James (husband) has been having a transit which is supposed to make men irrationally attracted to skanky hoes who express something of their own repressed sexuality.

Since I had been majorly shook by a number of transits in the past 10 years, I wasn’t in the mood for the stars to defeat me again. I decided to take the bull by the horns and announce that he was entering a slut transit on facebook. (Sometimes I imagine that telling enough people about something BEFORE it happens will magically keep it from occurring.) And every day since then, I’ve asked him “So have you felt attracted to any skanks yet? Any nasty hoes caught your eye?” Occasionally I will drop a reminder that anyone he likes during this time probably has a cocktail of STDs as well, which is true. (Unless they have a prison record or are a geologist.)

And so far, I have not sensed any attraction to cumdumpsters. This transit (Pluto opposite Venus) has to work through the unconscious. If the idea of sexual obsession with Jezebels is put into the forefront of his mind and linked to a transit, it makes it harder for the dark magic to occur.

So yay, I outsmarted the stars.

Still it’s almost hard not to feel disappointed that the transit didn’t go as planned. All his other transits- in which I did not interfere- were textbook. But this time I prepared myself, made public announcements and now he is basically standing me up at the altar. I had mentally set aside a couple years of life to wage this war on skanks and now there are no skanks in sight. Never a quitter, I eventually started encouraging him. Why don’t you friend some skanks on facebook? Maybe you’d enjoy a trip to the gentlemen’s club? But no. Being a slut because your wife wants you to isn’t Pluto’s way. The taboo is what arouses him. He wants to defy people’s expectations to show them- and himself- that he can’t be controlled. He wants to do something which will make others hate him or cause him to hate himself.

But why, Pluto, why?

For starters, Pluto is the planet of intensity. Sometimes we cut off so much from our darker self that we just start to feel less alive. Sometimes a journey to the dark side is just what it takes to tap into deeper wells of life and emotion. Feeling negative emotions can be preferable to feeling nothing at all.

Secondly, Pluto goes dark to gain power. Nice guys finish last. Pluto crosses lines other people aren’t willing to cross and reaps the rewards. During Pluto transits he challenges us to question our own boundaries. Are we willing to sacrifice one pound of goodness to gain 5 pounds of power? Are we willing to push our neighbor in front of a train to save a bus full of children? Many times, during Pluto transits, we realize we are.

Thirdly, Pluto does bad things to create boundaries. To show himself (and sometimes others) that he can’t be controlled. That there are no rules for him and only his own will reigns supreme.

Lastly, Pluto trespasses to expand his mind. On one level, Pluto is really about the ability to have our own mind which can function independently from the group. People with pronounced Pluto in their chart frequently seem normal on the surface, but deep in their mind is a sort of existential autonomy that the average person lacks. They see life through their own eyes and don’t need social support to trust their own perceptions. So during Pluto transits we want to question the rules we have previously taken for granted. We want to gain psychic & psychological freedom.

* * *

Basically, Pluto is our reptilian mind. It likes to operate in darkness, secretly controlling our behavior while our conscious mind is busy attributing shinier motives to ourselves. Pluto shrinks away when the light is shining directly on him. He does not want the whole world watching him, waiting for him to get an astrologically sanctioned boner.

Still, I have read enough Greek myths to know what happens to those who brag about outsmarting the fates. And there is still a year left of this transit to go. So we’ll see what happens. Maybe whores will end up having the last laugh. Just like they always do.

Tags astrology, Pluto, Pluto opposite Venus, sluts, transits, venus

Charleston, West Virginia men Politics Uncategorized Writings

Simone Biles & the Masculine Spirit

Post author By julien
Post date July 29, 2021
2 Comments on Simone Biles & the Masculine Spirit

This post is not about Simone Biles dropping out midway through the Olympics gymnastics competition. I don’t have an opinion on that since I am still not clear on why she did it and have heard different reasons.

This post is about the amount of praise she is receiving for dropping out. I find this disturbing. The consensus on twitter seems to be that this is the greatest athletic accomplishment of all time. Of course, in 2021 it should come as no surprise that quitting is seen as the peak of glory. Gold medals don’t matter, victory doesn’t matter, teammates don’t matter, national pride doesn’t matter. Only ONE thing matters. The ‘mental health’ of the individual, which seems in practice to mean always doing what you feel like doing.

In reality, Biles may not have dropped out for mental health reasons. But this was her initial statement and the public ate it up like pudding. They praised her for putting emotional wellness above gold metals and antiquated concepts of national pride. They could have accepted the idea with disappointment and understanding. But instead, her withdrawal must be called the essence of bravery and courage. She put herself first. This makes her a hero. No. If we value survival at all, we must get over the idea that tending to one’s own emotions should trump all other considerations.

Things can swing too far in any direction of course and there have been times when the obsession with excellence, winning, national pride, devotion to country etc could be said to have gone too far and crushed the soft parts of the individual.

Once again, this issue comes down to masculine vs. feminine- two principles which must remain in balance. The public is taking a feminine perspective, the role of a concerned mother who cares for nothing more than the well being of her baby. If the baby withdraws & the entire Olympics crumbles to the ground, the mother does not care. What matters is her baby’s happiness. She does not want the weight of the world, the expectations of team and nation, to interfere with this. She wants to keep baby safe in a world of inner joy and nursery rhymes. This perspective on life has its place.

However…

1. If we all care about our own feelings and mental health more than the needs of the group, we don’t survive.

2. We only have the option of making our inner self top priority because someone else isn’t. We have no inherent right to stay at home writing in our journals while other people are grow our food, dig our coal and work in our journal factories. Other people aren’t our slaves and if they do the hard work which enables us to opt out of hard work we certainly owe them a debt of gratitude.

Countless people surely worked hard and sacrificed to get Simone Biles where she is. No matter who we are, people have invested in us. We can’t pretend we have no responsibility to those who fed and clothed us, who created our language, our culture, who built our homes, roads and medicines, who died in war to protect us. We owe an infinite debt to society and those who came before us. How can we receive from every direction and still feel we owe nothing to no one but ourselves?

3. To strive for victory and glory, to sacrifice for team and country is the essence of the masculine spirit. To say the Olympics doesn’t matter, that national pride doesn’t matter, that winning doesn’t matter, is- from a masculine perspective- to say that life doesn’t matter. It does.

Not only do the masculine virtues taught by sports train humans to survive and protect, they also reflect a spiritual dimension of meaning. Goals matter. Achievement matters. Excellence matters. Struggle and sacrifice matter. Being responsible to other people matters. This is where the masculine dimension of meaning comes from and what enables men to evolve spiritually. Without the virtues embodied in sports, men devolve. They turn into scary gremlins. They become a menace to society and will never find inner peace.

Males need to be burdened by expectations and responsibilities. Neither self care nor cuddles will fulfill them. They must push themselves and take risks for something which matters more than themselves. A male who believes that his inner self is the most important thing in life will become miserable. And evil.

So the striving for medals, team and nation is really a spiritual thing. It is symbolic of mind over matter. Of pushing the self to become someone who matters to the collective. Men must kill the inner self so it can be reborn as something greater. It is a process of resurrection that gets turned on its head when the inner self is turned into a god.

And so women’s sports are at a crossroads. What do we want? Do we want our sports to be a place where friendship, fun & fitness matter more than winning? That would be fine with me. I grew up in a competitive world & often felt it had a negative impact upon females. In general, women seem designed to cooperate and collaborate. Many times on the verge of victory I would throw a competition because I just didn’t want to defeat the other person. Winning didn’t seem that valuable. Maybe this is just the way women were made.

Or maybe there are enough martian women who DO want to compete with the same ferocity as men. If so, I am fine with that as well. I love it when females display masculine virtues.

However, regardless of what women decide to do we MUST NOT water down male sports to suit female sensibilities. For all the reasons stated above, men need to excel in masculine virtues. Their health depends on it. Our survival depends on it. It is males possessing excellent masculine qualities rather than degenerative ones which keeps society safe and strong.

If females find male values too harsh, then we can operate in separate spheres where different rules apply. Currently people insist that men and women MUST play the same game. But women find the rules harsh. So we try to change them. When we could just drop out of that man game and play one of our own. But whatever we decide, the male realms must remain intact. Hard & proud. Unadulterated. Our survival depends on it.

Never ever undermine that which makes your life possible. The first law of the jungle.

NOW this is the Law of the Jungle — as old and as true as the sky;
And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.

As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back —
For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.

-Rudyard Kipling

Tags competition, gymnastics, men, simone biles, sports, women

Charleston, West Virginia Earth, Pink, Mothers, Love men Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Brother oh

These plates, called “Friendly Village” (which I don’t own) were the inspiration for this song. There is something so romantic about plates, especially when they contain pictures framed in brown designs. The color brown itself is so dreamy. It represents that ideal you are always reaching for but can never find…. security, home.