Fly away in a little bit Fly away in a cloud of strings Like the sun on an icicle You found your pair of wings.
When the time wasn’t over yet When the time was ready to begin When my heart was red lying in a box Waiting for the sticking pin.
There you go, I know your eyes Fire with a flash of pain Feel it burn, feel it end What is the name of this thing that remains?
Fly away in a little bit Fly away in a cloud of strings Like the sun on an icicle You found your pair of wings.
There you go, the hand that wears the glove of velvet red Like a woman, like a child, is the man afraid of his own death Like a woman, like a child- the man who will never fight Flickering beneath the sky and dying that same night.
Fly away in a little bit Fly away in a cloud of strings Like the sun on an icicle You found your pair of wings.
There you go, the man I know whose legs are far too thin Find the box and open it to push your stick pin in Fire I know, death I know, I also know your eyes Like a woman, like a child- the man who never lies.
Fly away in a little bit Fly away in a cloud of strings Like the sun on an icicle You found your pair of wings.
I’ve been recording a lot of music and I don’t have the time or work ethic to create artwork for it all so it leaves me with the question…. use AI art or take random photos of my apartment?
AI art is a decent choice aesthetically but I don’t use any AI in my music, or writing for that matter, and it would make me feel sick if people thought it was an AI creation, generated by the click of a button, when in reality I’m slaving away away surrounded by black wires…
And fwiw the beautiful brand new PlushMellow in this photo is available for adoption. A $20 adoption fee includes shipping. One of my first gigs when I was desperately trying to survive was finding good homes for stuffed animals. I’ve learned I have to think bigger to make it in this world but I still need to find homes for the few I have left.
Fly away in a little bit Fly away in a cloud of strings Like the sun on an icicle You found your pair of wings.
When the time wasn’t over yet When the time was ready to begin When my heart was red lying in a box Waiting for the sticking pin.
There you go, I know your eyes Fire with a flash of pain Feel it burn, feel it end What is the name of this thing that remains?
Fly away in a little bit Fly away in a cloud of strings Like the sun on an icicle You found your pair of wings.
There you go, the hand that wears the glove of velvet red Like a woman, like a child, is the man afraid of his own death Like a woman, like a child- the man who will never fight Flickering beneath the sky and dying that same night.
Fly away in a little bit Fly away in a cloud of strings Like the sun on an icicle You found your pair of wings.
There you go, the man I know whose legs are far too thin Find the box and open it to push your stick pin in Fire I know, death I know, I also know your eyes Like a woman, like a child- the man who never lies.
Fly away in a little bit Fly away in a cloud of strings Like the sun on an icicle You found your pair of wings.
Father, I need to sit. There’s all of this blood down here- nobody will tell me what it is. Father, what is the time? There’s all of this blood down here- nobody will tell me if it’s mine.
You built a tower in my heart just like a paradise I laid me back to watch so warm in the sand. Clouds flew above me light flashing out of their eagle eyes Now I can feel those cold things starting again.
Father, where are my hands? I need to touch my eyes- something tells me they are hurting me again. Father, am I lying in bed? Why are the curtains drawn? What is this thing upon my head?
You built a tower in a tower in my heart just like a paradise I laid me back to watch so warm in the sand. Sun shimmered on my body like I was a pegasi But now I can feel those cold things starting again.
Father, why are the curtains drawn? So many things to do. I can’t remain in here too long. Father, I need to ask Of all the things you’ve done, which ones are the ones that you’d take back?
You built a world around my heart just like a paradise I laid me back to watch so warm in your hand. Cities they swirled around me like they was a race of lights But now I can feel those cold things starting again.
All of the men in the world lined up side by side A bundle of twigs they wait for the flame. Dance by the fire and you will realize A burning man will never feel the pain.
Look at you and listen to what you say Follow you whereever you will stay
For so many years I ran away places where I’d hide I want you to hold me there inside.
Look at you a smile fills up my mind Feeling warm and burgundy with wine
For so many years I dreamed of places far away I want you to take me there today
Will you hold my hand when I follow you so far underground? Will you pin me there when I’m quivering darkness all around? Will you bring me down?
Looking down and smiling to the side All the secrets that I hold inside
When he turned to burgundy drag me cross the floor I cry, then go back for more
Will you hold my hand when I follow you so far underground? Will you pin me there when I’m quivering darkness all around? Will you bring me down?
Look at you another shade of red Rub my eyes and stumble back to bed All the ropes and wine and fantasy scattered on the floor Rest first then go back for more
When I think of you, I suffocate something I can’t find Could you hurt me pull me back again somewhere in my mind?
When you seperate me suffocate dragging on the floor All the voices hurt me teling me maybe I want more Will you bring me down?
Will you hold my hand when I follow you so far underground? Will you pin me there when I’m quivering darkness all around? Will you bring me down?
I love candles. Many times a single candle has altered the course of my life.
Last night I lit a red candle and BAM!! All these realizations about sex started flooding me. I saw how it merges two people’s energy & if the man doesn’t value your survival & material well being as his own you best steer clear, cause he will dilute your energy. The energy you need to survive. Especially for someone like me who feels precarious in her own survival to begin with.
Wanting a man to invest in you materially isn’t selfish…. why would you merge your material body with someone who doesn’t love you that much? I invest in Slippers materially and take responsibility for her life. Even tho I suck at survival it isn’t that hard to expand your sense of self to include someone else. This should be the minimum sort of love a person has before you risk merging with them.
Cause for me, if I have sex with someone I become very attached. My mind and emotions are constantly drifting towards them. Why would you want to spend all day thinking about someone who wouldn’t even buy you groceries? It doesn’t make any sense. Until you find someone who at least loves you that much you should hold your energy inside cause you’ll need it. Cause I think survival is hard for females. At least for me.
It’s is hard for me to think practically, logically, selfishly and strategically which is how you need to think for survival. How would a man feel if he was expected to jack off to purple rectangles? It’s not how he’s wired up.
But men are more selfish & strategic by nature. (Not to mention that their testicles are 2 extra brains devoted to survival.) It’s what makes it dangerous to be intimate with a man unless his sense of self has expanded to include you. Because although men are designed to be selfish, they also have the ability to expand their sense of self to include wife, children, family, clan, country etc. In this way they are selfish and unselfish at the same time.
But don’t place your well being at the mercy of a man who sense of self does not include you. Because to people outside this sense of self they are ruthless.
This hit me like lightning last night. I was lighting a red candle to help me be better at surviving because I don’t know what I’m going to do for money yet. I lost my last job for not conning people hard enough & the two jobs before that were both lost for crying on the job due to smells. I’m sure there is something I can do but it always seems to require being something other than my nature. Just trying to get my brain to think about what I could do ends up with staring into space as no thoughts arise. My mind is wired to be hyperaware of what is, not to strategize a path forward.
But the red candle showed me that the first step to surviving is not forming relationships which don’t facilitate your survival. Cause why would you merge with someone not vested in you? How can it lead to anything good?
I’ve always been so afraid of being a gold digger that I sort of became the reverse. But really there is nothing wrong with a man investing in you materially. I invest in Slippers materially. I’m not going to be enjoying a delicious meal while she is hungry. That would be sick. To care about a loved one’s physical well being is the most basic form of love. If someone doesn’t love you in the most basic way WHY would you allow your mind & heart to center around them? It’s self abandonment.
It may be nobody’s responsibility to take care of me but it is not my responsibility to suck their dick either. It doesn’t really matter if someone claims to like or love you. Actions speak louder than words and if they can’t love me -at a bare minimum- like I love Slippers then being with them will dilute my raw power which I cannot afford.
I have to put myself first until I find somebody that puts me first.
Thank you red candle. I will add candles to the list of things that have always been my friends… colors, candles. End of list.
Hey! And while you are at it please consider clicking below to send me a sweet tip! Now that I’m not married, feeding musicians is a cause close to my heart.
Saturday night inside a one horse town He’s blowing in like a breeze into a tin roadhouse The game is pretty easy when you choose them right All you need is twenty dollars and a saturday night oh.
Cause you wanna be high oh And you wanna feel free But you dont care about me.
Cause when it’s easy to come you come And when I bleed you go That’s just the way that things are I know.
I’m bleeding bullets like a horse put down For the last three weeks I’ve been popping them out. Blood in the kitchen and blood on the sheets Blood down my neck when I walk in the streets but
It was all just a game yeah Something fun and carefree And you don’t care about me.
Cause when it’s easy to come you come And when I bleed you go That’s just the way that things are I know.
The thing about men is when you let them win They dance around in a circle and come back again. But things is pretty different when someone gotta lose Then theys putting on their shoes.
Cause men need to be high. Men need to feel free. And you don’t care about me.
Cause when it’s easy to come you come And when I bleed you go That’s just the way that things are I know.
