best friends share a pear

Hi. I really miss my website and blog because it always felt like my best friend, a secret journal I could confide in.

But the struggle to survive has been real and it has been hard to find time to write a best friend letters.

Also I have been in nonstop legal battles and was afraid that if I blogged the wrong thing I would be sent to jail since the judge is always threatening to do so. (Why? I don’t know. It is divorce court and people tell me you can’t be sent to jail unless you commit a crime. But the judge must dislike my personality or something because he always says he will send me to South Central. He says it in response to a facial expression I make or where he thinks my eyes are pointing and other things I don’t understand so I started to become a little paranoid.)

But it has become clear that the court process will never end and I can’t wait forever to return to my life…

Anyways, communicating through videos seems a bit rude and impersonal compareds to writing BUT I am having a transit (Uranus 6th house) in which must continue doing your same work through different technologies else you get blown up. Videos take less time & maybe they will seem cozy once I get used to them.

If anyone is reading this, I am so happy. It is the best feeling to feel there are secret friends surrounding you in the ethers who could pop into your life at any moment.

A song about my favorite season, Autumn.

Autumn’s Garden

When at last the autumn came, he was wishing that the summer would still remain
the leaves were crackle and crisp, flaming, exhilarating but still the same
he didn’t feel quite ready yet, he didn’t feel quite ready for the sound,
the earthly crinkle that would snap and crunch each time he laid a footprint down.

What beat to make, he wondered, what sort of rhythm should I impose
once all the leaves are gone too many clear cut lines will be exposed,
where will I lay the silence, where the tinny tap and leaden thud,
is this a dream or must I actually know bad from good?

* Leaves fall, animals grow thick hair
apples sway on the trees
you, sir, will spend the fall on your knees.

Pumpkins, squash, persimmon and cranberries,
autumn’s sword can be kind,
kneel down, fly away in your mind. *

All his life it seemed, green leaves had swirled around him like a smoke
languid fruits that dangled there for him to eat if he felt so disposed,
leaves that dappled light swelling in an air as thick as butter
made it seem alright somehow to say one thing and do another.

Time was a blob then, it never held him at gunpoint and made him choose,
he could make various gains, never needing to select a battle to lose,
and any loose ends could be scattered round the forest here and there
making him less than eager to see the things that autumn would lay bare.

People said he was handsome, but he wasn’t really sure how they could tell
green leaves controlled the light, they twisted it just like a magic spell
he’d been in love so many times, so many people took his breath away
sometimes leading to intimacy, still he dreaded to see them when the autumn came.

How could he laugh it off then, when soon his eyes would see so very far
things long forgotten coming starkly into view from his own yard,
he hadn’t really meant to lie, it was just the dappled world he was a part of
is it justice to try summer’s child inside the court of autumn?

Download MP3: Autumn’s Garden