This is the third song about the pine fairy, who has left behind civilization in order to become a magician.
Weak and alone, limping out of my home
Digging holes in a row with my hoe
Cold and inhuman you know that I am
Growing my cabbages on frozen land
Calling up screams with the touch of my hand, that’s the plan.
Someday the stars will return to their place
Someday the night will grow clear
But when the sky touched his skin, the first thing he felt was fear.
Look each way twice, then the crackling of ice
Then the reaching down deep where they sleep
I heard the stories; I hoped they were mine
Blowing like winds through the forest of pine
I drank the kool-aid, I thought it was wine at the time.
Someday the stars will return to their place
Some day the night will grow clear
But when the sky touched his skin, the first thing he felt was fear.
I heard the stories they seemed seemed so alive
Like a dancer inside of my head
I heard the words and I followed them all though
The ones who had spoke them were dead…
Crackling the dream, it began with a scream
Then the tree toppled down on the ground.
Winds circled round till direction was gone
Scrambled the stars but I had to keep on
Clutching at cabbages losing all heat in my feet.
Someday the stars will return to their place
Someday the night will grow clear
But when the sky touched his skin, the first thing he felt was fear.
The ace was overturned;
The sticks had all been thrown.
He couldn’t think of a thing that he had learned
Just from being alone.
The meat had all been eaten;
Nothing but oats remained.
So many things that life had taken away,
So few things had been gained.
Although he could not see them,
They had gathered behind the gate.
There was nothing to do now but wait.
No messages by foot;
No signals sent from birds.
The bubbles in the creek made noise
But he couldn’t make out the words.
One of his friends had lied to him and
The other friend was dead.
He didn’t feel like riding into the town
With a price upon his head.
Although he could not feel them,
They had gathered behind the gate.
There was nothing to do now but wait.
He opened books from time to time but
The words looked like a blur.
He leaned over to pet his dog and to smell
The earthy scent of fur.
Why cry? He was a man
And a man he intended to be!
But sometimes the hopelessness swept over him like a wave
And water in his eyes made it hard to see.
But, although he did not know them,
They had gathered behind the gate.
There was nothing to do now but wait.
The stars and moon were calling
but he didn’t hear.
The night was cold and piney
it was clear.
He stayed inside and cried
as though somebody died.
His heart was breaking in two
on the inside.
The owls were cold and silver;
they were harsh.
Green things were fermenting
deep within the marsh.
He rested his head down,
a king without a crown.
The staff held in his hand
was made of larch.
Why did he cry?
Cause he was learning to love himself.
But why?
Because no love came from anybody else.
People say they care
but they can’t always be there.
At times it’s best to think
of something else.
The stars were going crazy
on a whim.
Tomorrow night he may be there
dancing right beside them.
But right now he is tired.
His brain is blue and mired.
The produce on his shelf
has all expired.
Why is he tired?
Because he’s learning to love himself.
But why?
Because he can’t get love
from anybody else.
He lives in a forest of pine.
His home is hard to find.
No one has knocked upon his door
in the longest time.
All the money you piled up in piles
It sparkled to me. It helped to dream.
Buttercream on your bright copper plates
I wafted it’s fragrance up to my face and I smiled.
This is a man a man a man I could love!
This is a man a man a man I could love!
In your car with the smooth leather seats.
So warm and so cream, so soft buttery.
In your house with the thick chandeliers.
They spoke and I heard. The message was clear and I smiled.
This is a man a man a man you could love!
This is a man a man a man you could love!
Late at night in your bed how those flutes seemed to play!
Late at night on your breath I could smell your champagne!
All the cushions you piled on your chairs.
I sunk down in them. I laughed like a child.
All the silk that you rolled round my wrist.
I brushed to my cheek, the rings on your fist, they were kissed.
You are the man the man I can Love!
Mommy I’ve found a man a man I can love!
Rose. She likes the feel of your nose. She knows that everyone knows her, chose her, sigh. Brown. You like the feel of the ground. To feel it blow all around you, down you, sigh.
Don’t let me slip through. Don’t let me walk invisible by. I am Nature; I get you high.
Green. Too many places unseen. Too many footsteps behind you, bind you, why? Stray. Seek everything far away. Don’t let nobody scold you, mold you, try.
Don’t let me slip through. Don’t let me walk invisible by. I am Nature; I get you high.
Burn. Too many pages to learn. Too many pages to follow, swallow, sigh. Strive. You always fought to survive. You always fought them to conquest, multiply.
Don’t let me slip through. Don’t let me walk invisible by. I am Nature; I get you high.
In the woods they eat their cake
I dare not move now, move now; I sit in wait
I draw my knees up to my chest
Because I know the foods that they like best.
In the woods, they sip their tea
Their eyes dart back and forth so casually
They make their jokes at my expense
They know I’m somewhere somewhere, behind the fence.
IIIII
The night has come. The trees are black.
Do I feel fingers, fingers upon my back?
I need to run- but where to go?
Animals are the only world that I know.
IIIII
They’ll never leave; they’ll never lie
Their yellow teeth, by design
I need to run, but where to go?
Animals are the only world that I know.
IIII
They play their games upon their boards
They toss their heads, they’re growing bored.
Their weight is shifting upon their seats
I know that I should run but I also need to eat.
IIII
They’ll never leave; they’ll never lie
Their yellow teeth, by design
I need to run, but where to go?
Animals are the only world that I know.
Recently, I was struck by a desire to become friends with the planets of our solar system. I wasn’t sure how to go about this, so I drew the symbol for Uranus on a piece of paper & placed it beneath my pillow at night, intending to think about it while sleeping. To my surprise, the symbol itself emitted a palpable energy filling my chest with an electrical feeling. And the next morning, I received the greatest shock of my life, a shock so great I lost total control of my bladder and bowels despite being in a public place. For several days, I could neither sleep nor eat, which was a first for me. Time lost all its shape and 12 hours could go by in what seemed like 12 minutes. I spent… I don’t know how long… a few weeks or a month crying nonstop. The reality I thought I had been living in seemed to have been destroyed and I wasn’t sure what reality I was living in any longer. Very slowly though, my mind started to make sense of things and eventually the shocking new bits of information assimilated in my mind to form a reality even more stable than the one which preceded it. Looking back, just a couple months later, I don’t even see what the big deal was. Why should it have come as a surprise at all?
At any rate, this is a song about the planet Uranus. In astrology, he is said to rule events- good or bad- which take you completely by surprise, and I have to say he lived up to his reputation.
The Jar
The avant garde a show you’ve never seen to tap the jar of homosexuality
Into the night upon electric wings a sodomite and all the organisms that he brings
Go far man fly through the jar like a free man be who you are
Fluorescent lights he turns away from you into the night to drink that mountain dew
The lightning rod upon his limousine a smile and a nod all the things I’ve never seen
Go far man fly through the jar like a free man be who you are
I walk on shaking legs my mind is hypnotized balancing on wooden pegs all the things I’ve never tried
To chase a star to search in darkness for that door another world I don’t believe in anymore, man
Fly through the jar like a free man be who you are.
Recently, I was suffering from ridiculous allergies, but when I finally recovered I felt better adapted to living in West Virginia. Living in the hills is just so thick and dense that if you aren’t used to it, it feels like trying to eat a whole stick of butter with no bread. There is a sense that your future does not exist and your present can not be changed.
Coupled with that, is the black and purply feeling of death… or more specifically..
1. A black feeling of our human reality being sandwiched between so many other, non-human realities which cannot be understood, much less controlled.
2. A purple feeling that the whole of our life is just a dot in eternity, and even a dot in the larger picture of who we are.
That is my impression anyway, I doubt a single other person would agree with me. But I do think you have to run your furnace hotter here to avoid being swallowed up by feelings of futility and fatalism.
At any rate, this song was inspired by my newfound appreciation for West Virginia. After my allergies, I could see more of the value in accepting life as it is, rather than always trying to sculpt it into a shape of my choice.
Life
may not be real
Pikey what a thing to say
you know that you weren’t raised that way
And yet
sometimes I fear
God has left me so alone
a million miles from any home
To walk a road that has no end
The golden hay lies beyond the bend.
But why would we break?
Why would we cry?
In the end it’s only pain
we’ve known it in so many ways
I know
she felt it too
Remember her, that little bird
so soft we never heard a word
A hint of pink behind the door
and in the end a pile of feathers on the floor
Pikey, you know it won’t be long
Take my hand, I can feel their eyes
descending from the bluest skies
My gun
My iron bar
Life remember I was your friend
I knew that you had no end
Your fields were filled with golden hay
Three clouds they fly above then slowly drift away.
The sad story of a purple magician driven to suicide through harassment from the villagers, to whom he could no longer relate.
I see stars in the starry sky I feel stars in my brain When they came with sticks and stones I knew who was to blame…
Quick! Quick! Hand it to me- silver cup- Drink it down and shoot it up I don’t to want to cry. Last time when they came Swinging with their jagged canes I almost lost an eye.
To feel pain- okay! Okay to fall- But give me someplace to turn, some name to call.
I see stars in the starry sky I know why they shine. When I saw them march at night I almost lost my mind…
Quick! Quick! Hand it to me- my syringe I cannot afford to cringe; I must not feel pain. Closing on me in a ring If they see me grimacing They’ll fall on me like rain.
To feel pain-okay! Okay to fall- But give me someplace to turn, some name to call.
I knew all the stars in the sky I knew all their names They controlled the people Just like marbles in a game…
Quick! Quick! Fetch my needle and my thread Stitch my eyelids to my head- They must not see my eyes. They must never know the light Twisting in from Pegasi that Shines through all their lies.
To feel pain- okay! Okay to fall- But give me someplace to turn, some name to call.
To cut- okay! To bleed… Still I promise you, they’ll never see through me.
I see stars in the starry sky I stood in their light. They could see me flutter like a Moth against the night.
Quick! Quick! Fetch for me my special pill Hide the money and my will- It’s my time to fly. If I have but one regret It is that I’ve never met Someone to tell goodbye.
Alone to live- okay! Alone to die. Perhaps a hand waits for me in the sky.
A new edition to my collection of songs about relationships between men and other species, in this case a gatekeeper.
Gatekeepers are humanoid immortal beings about two thirds the size of a person who are able to open the portal between dimensions. This particular gatekeeper lives in the black world of outer space and controls the gate which leads to the world of gold. The gate is made of 2 brass doors swinging on hinges, about 10 feet high. Behind them lies a white mansion set on a yard of checkerboard grass. The gatekeeper herself can never pass through the gate. Like many immortals, she is free to move through time but bound to a particular space.
Her job is a lonely one, since not many humans pass through this particular gate. Why? Because they don’t have the balls to travel through a million miles of cold, empty blackness to reach the gold that lies on the other side. She has been watching this particular man, with whom she has become infatuated, travelling towards her for quite some time (you can see very, very far in space.) The combination of loneliness and his golden character has cast a spell on her.
Therefore, she is considering using her position of power to initiate a romantic relation, albeit a brief one, since his golden character necessitates that he must past through the gate. In addition, it must be a non-sexual one since gatekeepers, like many immortals, don’t really have genders nor reproduce.
However, despite her power over him, she feels it may be difficult to capture his attention, even for a moment. The black world of space is one of the hardest to pass through. It is cold, dark and empty, and years of walking through this world can numb the extremities and cause the blood to turn white. When the traveler finally does reach the golden gate and see the white house behind it, the last thing he will want to do is loiter with the gatekeeper. The last thing he will want to do is gaze into round starry eyes set in a jet black face.
Stars swim in the dark of night
Underneath sharks that bite
In between stands I prepared to fight.
Stars swim through the darkened past
Sharks eat bones; nothing last
I guard the gate through which you hope to pass.
But please stand with me
For just a minute more because I’m lonely
And please do not forget I hold the key.
If you touch my hand, I’ll be good to you
I’ll open up the gate and you can walk on through
I’ll bow my head, I know I’ll think of you.
Stars struggle to illuminate
Sharks grow tired beneath the gate
I think of you, your hands, your eyes- I wait.
I think of you- your eyes, your hands
Your hidden world, I understand, at best
I am a shadow to you, man.
But please stand with me
Let our shoulders touch because I’m lonely
And please do not forget I hold the key.
Let your fingers slide in between my own
I control the gate to your only home
I would like to feel your eyes upon my own.
Stars shine against the past
Sharks eat all the crumbs at last
I guard the gate through which you hope to pass.
Stars shine inside my head
In my mind you are my friend
I think of you, the night begins to spin.
So please stand with me
For just a minute more, because I’m lonely
And please do not forget I hold the key
I can feel it burning inside my hand
The golden door to another land
You will walk through, I will remember you man.
