While living in Nashville I wrote a series of songs… 15 or so… about the Odyssey (by Homer) & this was the third one. I guess it relates to Telemachus coming into his own power & realizing how awesome he is.
On a personal level, hi! How are you doing? I am fine I suppose. Recently I have been trying to become more yellow again by sitting in front of a yellow light for an hour or so a day. It has me feeling a little out of sorts, but we will see if I can stick with it and reach the other side.
What will be on the other side? I am not quite sure, I just feel that yellow is a color I lack. While I am intelligent, I don’t feel yellow intelligent- the sort of down to earth intelligence that knows how to get from point A to point B on this space-time continuum. If you are yellow enough, the world is your oyster. And least I hope that is what I will find when I finally reach the Yellow World.
Here is a better picture of Patton, the new dog. The last one I posted was from when we had just found him, so he looked like a wild animal. But here you can see he is settling in well to family life.
Originally the chorus was “I feel you growing like a lamp behind me,” but then I got paranoid that lamp could have some alternate sexual meaning, as 90% of words seem to, so I changed it to Light, just to be safe. No one will read anything seedy into pure, disembodied Light.
Open the shade- I know what is coming
The stars, the sky, the moon- they are all watching
Kidneys hurt- too hard to stand
Hello floor- it’s me again.
Down on the floor- I see him beside
His golden eyes- they shine they guide.
He can’t touch; he can’t do nothing to save.
Those are the rules and he is just a slave.
Give it just a little more time- I’ll know you’ll save me.
Though you are not my man and I’m not your baby.
Give it just a little more time- I know you’ll find me.
I feel you growing like a lamp behind me.
He is silent, he is strong and standing in his square
A pane of glass between us and his body made of air
Sometimes I will slump down on that glass and I will breath him
Till I’m weak and I am crying from believing that I need him.
He says- Stand up on your legs. Oh, no, no, no- I am too weak
And if I don’t crumble like a slut who will be there for me?
Because half of all these days I can’t remember who I am
I just look around and grab onto the first hand that I can.
Give it just a little more time, I’ll know you’ll save me
Though you are not my man and I’m not your baby
Give you just a little more time, I know you’ll find me
I feel you drawing like a light behind me.
When God is your witness please say you will vouch for me
No no not to say that I was good, nor that I tried to be
But please tell him that my leaves reached up like arms towards his sky
Tell him that my roots would suck so hard they made the earth grow dry.
Give it just a little more time, I’ll know you’ll save me
Though you are not my man and I’m not your baby
Give you just a little more time I know you’ll find me
I feel you drawing like a light behind me.
Well, I have explained this before, but I wrote this song while living in Nashville. My rule at the time was that every single song must have “making love” in the chorus. It started because I found those words somewhat icky, which then made me strangely attracted to using them.
Regardless of how it began, once you use words enough, all of their old connotations fall away & new ones develop which are personal to you.
It’s a bright blue day, it’s a horses’ parade, It’s the very first day of spring. And the men are tip tapping to the steeple bells as they shine through a golden ring.
And the ladies are swaying and they’re dancing and playing with their hair so long and gold, But every time a pony shakes his mane I grow cold.
You offer up a ribbon for my hair; I give you a frown and a shrug. Oh what about me? I also wanted to make love.
A pole is painted in bright red stripes, A tent in stripes of blue, And the horses got pompoms in their hair and shiny saddles too.
And every lady wears a little bouquet that was picked by a little man. But my daisies are crushed beneath the pony feet into the sand.
I need to find me a mountain so I can rise high above… Oh what about me? I also wanted to make love.
You wear a great big top hat, You ride a great big horse. You got a knack for politics and muscular discourse.
You got no need for You don’t believe in prophecy. You got no use for trifles, You don’t need me.
So put away the pompoms and the polka dots. Put away the big parade. All the men dressed up like fairies, cause fairies ain’t welcome here anyway.
Small things, little things, odd things, pretty things, All the theater and display, Cause you don’t like, don’t like, really don’t like fairies anyway.
You’re going down to the valley so low, I’m gonna walk high above. Oh what about me? I also wanted to make love.
‘Oh! I wish you were dead. Then I could get some sleep, just please put a bullet in your head. Oh! You better not speak again.’ Slide to the floor, let it hold me once more, my thick and heavy friend.
Here come the Lights! Here come the Lights! I’ll follow them now, though they’re guiding me down Because they’ve come to set things right. Here come the Lights!
Oh! It’s like a parade- Everyone dancing around in the sun while I’m searching for the shade Or someone who can help me understand the things I’ve seen; But the dark world engulfs me, he’ll never let go because I am his queen.
Here come the Lights! Here come the Lights! I’ll follow them now, though they’re guiding me down Because they’ve come to set things right. Here come the Lights!
Oh! So this is the night? And these are the friends who slide under the door in the guise of liquid light? Oh! This is the Column of Heat! You have arrived, now I will shut my eyes because I know it’s safe to sleep.
Here come the Lights! Here come the Lights! I’ll follow them now, though they’re guiding me down Because they’ve come to set things right. Here come the Lights!
It has taken me a million days to perform the simple task of posting this video because
1. I went fugue & got lost in bizarre new interests & only recently remembered who I was again.
2. We aquired a second dog- Patton- who was found wandering an intersection downtown. He appears to be a 4 month old german shepherd mix & has a lot of energy.
3. We do not have heat & the house is very cold, making it challenging to perform simple tasks, like cooking & brushing teeth. Normally I would rise to the challenge & use it as an opportunity to go full on pioneer, but something about the cold combined with the stress of the new puppy has knocked me out of orbit a little bit, and accomplishing daily tasks has taken on the feel of climbing a mountain.
None of which has anything to do with this song though. It is just me wanting to say hi.
We were sitting together on the front porch swing
You started talking about everything
Like how the white man stole your land away
And I felt in my heart like I was to blame
Like it was my fault and I felt this shame
And then I felt your feathers tickle me
We were sitting on the porch drinking lemonade
Both wearing sneakers that were Nike made
When I first felt your feathers tickle me
Well I thought it must have been the wind on my shoe
Till I first caught sight of your big canoe
Moving slowly through those waters towards me
And though I ain’t been good, I could start tomorrow
Won’t cause nobody no more sorrow
Just please, sir, take your feathers off of me
Just take that green feather off my thigh
That red feather off my eye
Just pull your yellow feather out of me
It felt like running through the woods at night
I could feel your breath but their was nothing in sight
I could feel my soul just running away to die
Your skin was sticky but it wasn’t red
Your three feathers lined up in my head
As three feather man came slowly over me
Like curdled milk in a broken vase
A dead white man without a face
I could see that crooked finger point to me
Put that green feather on my thigh
That red feather on my eye
Put that yellow feather into me
It don’t mean nothing that you spared my life
Cause it ain’t worth nothing now since that night
Cause Jesus saw your feathers touching me
Yeah God was watching from his starlit sky
Staring me down with that humongous eye
And I know God won’t be forgiving me
And I know I’ m deserving of all this and more
Dirtier than dirt more down than a floor
But Three Feather Man I’m begging you for mercy
Just take your green feather off my thigh
That red feather off my eye
Pull that yellow feather out of me
For a sign Some people complain about time, boy I could always see what was mine, boy I could stand for ever and just watch the stars unwind.
For a name, A piece of gold to hold in the rain, boy So buy up all the land you can claim, boy I will stay behind you in the darkness and I’ll pray-
Pray to men that live in water, men that live in dreams Show me how to love and conquer, show me what it truly means to
Fall Show me how to fall.
For a dream To chase after that glittering gleam, boy Though things will never be as they seem, boy Diamonds in your hand evaporating into steam.
And a fate You can’t stand beside the water and wait, boy Not many in this world who are brave, boy I will stay behind you in the darkness and I’ll pray-
Pray to stars that keep us shining, pooling in the night Stars of love and stars of violence, show me how to truly fight and
Fall Show me how to fall.
Then the mist It will flow around you like this, boy Your thoughts will start to garble and twist, boy Feeling with your hand to find the something you have missed.
Then the night It starts when you get used to the light, boy Then things will start to dim but not quite, boy Feeling with your hand you realize that you are dying…
But are you dying from asphyxiation, dying from a flood? Dying for a drop of luster, dying for some blood?
I will hold you in my mind then, shining like a dream Emerald lights upon your shoulder- shining like an emerald king and
I haven’t been able to post anything in here for a while due to being in a state of confusion & constantly switching identities. I’m not sure why this happens. If I were to trace it back to something I think it probably began with accidentally making a bunch of people mad on social media. I hate making people mad since I am the world’s biggest wuss. On the other hand, the more I try to please people, the more I accidentally end up saying exactly what they don’t want to hear. Just like the harder I try to make sure I don’t say anything sexual, the more some kind of phallic imagery will slip its way into my mouth. The only way to avoid trouble is not to speak at all, but that causes my sense of self to rapidly deteriorate until I have no idea who I am.
Anyway… I wrote this song a couple weeks back when I was hoping yellow could be the answer to all my troubles. 🙁 It wasn’t. Since then I have hoped white could be the answer and then I tried moving everything to the left side of my house. And then I hoped red could be the answer. None of these things worked, but still I learned a little bit from each of them.
There was a fire born inside. It left me with no place to hide;
I took my shelter out in the rain.
He looked me up, he looked me down, but could he keep me safe and sound?
Like a needle against the pain?
Ten years, like a fool, waiting for you-
The yellow man who never came.
And the road stretched on- it was hard and it was long
Water running through my veins.
He was counting on his hands, such a practical man;
It made me wish that I could have my chance.
But all I got was the rain, it beat me harder than a cane
Till my blood knew the shape of romance.
Ten years, like a fool, waiting for you-
The yellow man who never came.
And the rain stretched on- it was hard and it was strong
Water running through my brain.
Yellow save me cause I, I don’t want to be free
Won’t you take me to your thick warm shelter, come now
To the source of the sound, you will recognize me
Lead me on into your thick warm shelter come now come now come now
And the rain how it poured; it split me open like a gourd
And it came on my face till I bled.
Still when I look in your eyes and see a shelter warm and dry
I want to climb right into your head.
Ten years, like a fool, I was waiting for you-
The yellow man who never came.
And the road stretched on- it was hard, it was long
Water running through my veins.
Yellow save me, cause I don’t want to be free
Won’t you take me to your thick, warm shelter? Come now
To the source of the sound, you will recognize me.
Lead me on into your thick, warm shelter. Come now, come now, come now.
