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Charleston, West Virginia men Writings

Sex Energy- Positive, Negative & Neutral

All levels of the human mind deal with three types of energy. Positive, negative & neutral.

Positive energy connects us to the future. It is our desires & values. What we want to have & experience. It moves us forward.

Negative energy connects us to the past. It enables us to release things & gives us the depth and wisdom that come from processing experiences.

Neutral energy connects us to the present and our environment.

At the verbal level, for example, affirmations would be an example of positive energy. Talking to a counselor about our problems would be negative energy- we are using words to gain release & insight. Asking someone to pass the salt would be neutral.

And this applies on the sexual level too. Sexual impulses can be positive- this person turns me on because she is my dream girl and I want to marry her. Or they can be negative- this person turns me on because her nose looks like my Aunt Sally’s who molested me as a kid and I still feel ashamed about that. Or- I just lost my job and now I have shameful feelings. I want to release these feelings through my dick so what is something bad I can do that will give me an orgasm?

However, on the surface, these two impulses can look the same because we typically don’t bother to analyze our sexual feelings. We feel a pulse in our dick and think- that must be hot, I must want to fuck that. Why else would I feel this pulse? But a whole world of meaning is there, for those who care to look.

Negative sexuality is similar to music and dreams. It is not a literal reflection of what we want. Instead it is subconscious urges, fears, pains and conflicts bubbling to the surface in a symbolic language. For men especially, it may be one of the main avenues through which their subconscious speaks to them which is why they can get addicted to things like porn which offer so many scenarios designed to tap into different pockets of feeling.

But we are trained to be meatheads when it comes to sex and not analyze the things. We regurgitate simplistic theories from evolutionary psychology which gay men have proven to be false. Our sexual circuits are not just for reproduction- they perform a wide variety of functions just as our mouth does. Or even our speech. To claim that all sexual urges are rooted in a desire to have children would be like saying that all functions of speech relate to the need to warn others of wild animals.

And it causes a lot of consternation, especially for wives and girlfriends, when all sexual impulses are described as caveman urges to mate with someone else. Or when sexual urges are automatically interpreted as attraction. I.e. finding someone beautiful, desirable. In reality, men are well known for losing interest in someone after having sex. Why? Did the person cease to be beautiful and attractive? No, it was just never about that in the first place. Sometimes sex is about trying to get at something within the self and -unfortunately- the other person is little more than an available tissue. Or perhaps a symbolic one who taps an inner conflict (kink).

I grew up in a culture where people were supposed to be happy. Other emotions were viewed in a negative light. There was no emotional release function and this made it difficult to be happy except in a strained and 2 dimensional way. It is this release function, this negative energy, that renews us, bringing depth and purity to our experience. Just as a person can feel rejuvenated by crying. Sometimes the dick needs to cry too.

So what impact does it have on sexual relationships if every sexual thought and feeling must be a feeling of positive love and desire for one’s mate? Does this create a deep and passionate bond over time or would it begin to feel flat and repressive? Time is a big factor, because the more time passes the more negative energies accumulate if not washed away. You can go for a week without a shower, but eventually it catches up with you. People rarely need marriage counselor on their honeymoon, but 20 years later they might. Especially if they are basing their relationship on positive energy without an equivalent ability to embrace negative energy. It is the negative energy that rejuvnates and when we cling to positive charges and resist negative ones either decay or a sudden rupture is certain. The good news is that exploring the negative is every bit as enjoyable as moving towards the positive. This is where life gains its deep and watery energies.

And of course there are neutral sexual energies. These feed you information about your current surroundings & circumstances. Threats and opportunities. A sudden attraction to a firewoman could be your dick trying to tell you your house is on fire. A sexual feeling towards a plump person could mean you need to eat. Rage towards your boss might be chanelled as arousal towards his female equivalent. The possibilities are endless.

In addition, sexual feelings can simply be red beams we are intercepting from others. Sometimes I feel a red beam & turn around me to see a scantily clad female who is looking for sexual attention. If I were a man, I might automatically assume I was attracted to her, when in fact my dick was just picking up her availability signal. Dangers in the environment can also be felt through the dick. The dick is basically an antennae picking up root level information. If sexual thoughts are too tightly controlled a lot of data drops out. But also, if we take the meathead approach of assuming every quiver in our dick represents an urge to sire a child- even if we don’t act on it- this can lead to trouble, hurt and confusion.

So I just wish we could look a little deeper when it comes to sexual feelings. If men are looking at porn, for example, WHY are they looking? Is it really because they think that close up shot of a dick sliding into a butthole is so pretty and men are visual creatures? Is it really because they have the urge to spread their seed through ejaculating into their hand to ensure humanity’s survival? Or is it possible they are attempting- perhaps clumsily- an introspective, healing activity? Trying to release some speck of gravel from their shoe. Flying to a world where females are amazed by their every move and they don’t have to feel like a loser. Releasing feelings of hatred, disgust or aggression that have no place in polite society.

Sexual urges and the meanings behind them are really an entire universe to be explored. These things are only shameful & threatening when they aren’t examined. In reality, they are a symbolic doorway into the deepest parts of our mind where the largest transformations can occur.

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Jupiter is Idealism

Big Stuff is one of the Giants I wrote about in an earlier post. But he looks pretty Jupiterian to me, so I will place him here.

When you are a child you desire to be awesome- to have exceptional abilities that make you shine to those around you. Growing up is about realizing that no one wants to watch you shine. It’s annoying. What people want is for you to add value to their lives. What society wants is for you to add value to society.

Enter Jupiter. In traditional astrology, he is the bringer of wisdom, luck & riches. In modern astrology, he is frequently associated with weight gain, overspending & all forms of excess.

If I had to sum up Jupiter in one word, I would call him Idealism. He is the first planet who causes us to look beyond our personal goals to see how we can benefit the world around us. And as we become *for others* others become for us. They now have a motivation to help us. Society now has a motivation to reward us. People can open doors for us which we could never have opened for ourselves. This is luck. People invest in us and introduce us to new ideas & ways of seeing things. And so our world begins to expand.

But will our waistline expand as well? Possibly yes, but not because Jupiter is a pleasure seeking lush. In my opinion, every planet is a correcting force to the planet preceeding it. The Sun is hot and the Moon cools it. The moon is mushy but mercury is crisp. Mercury is too mental so Venus opens the heart. Venus is weak so Mars is strong-willed. Mars is shielded and independent, focusing on enemies and threats. So Jupiter opens up, to see the good in the world and also the good that COULD be in the world. You will never hear Jupiter say that humans suck. He fucking LOVES humanity.

But this new openness and love for the world naturally leads to a softening of personal boundaries and willpower. Jupiter will eat more, drink more and buy more just because he is more in touch with the goodness around him and lacks the will to resist. His personal bank account is not the most important thing to Jupiter anyway. He is externally focused. Just as the moon focuses on children and Venus focuses on her boyfriend, Jupiter focuses on society, seeing it through a doting golden glaze. He is the true believer in humanity’s potential and this excites him more than personal glory or owning buns of steel. His mind and emotions are mixed up and swirled with the world around him. If this goes too far of course, his generous optimistic spirit can be his undoing, which is why he is followed by the correcting force of hard & crusty Saturn.

And I believe Jupiter’s altruism is responsible for the high spirits he is known for. Our personal cares often dissolve when we develop an outer focus and fall in love with something beyond our self. Jupiter is about falling in love with our human tribe or even humanity. The world becomes brighter, more interesting, filled with meaning and purpose. Suddenly we matter because there are always things we can do to benefit and romance our new love interest. This does not necessarily mean we will be volunteer at a soup kitchen however. Depending on the sign and placement of Jupiter, this altruism can take many forms. Maybe we are Batman and do the dark works no one else has the stomach for. Maybe we are a clown working at a gas station, bringing a laugh to all the customers. We could be a writer, a hater, a bragger or a dancer. It isn’t the actions themselves which are Jupiterian but the motivation behind them. Jupiter’s motivation is to give to humanity. Idealism.

My Jupiter is in Aries for example, so at times when I am overtaken by altruism I become more fiery & belligerent than my normal personality. Almost as though our idealistic self is a genie kept in a bottle, a separate spirit who can possess us and provoke us into action our regular self would not take. My idealistic self tries to place myself in the line of fire in the hopes of taking a few bullets for humanity. Perhaps since I am cowardly by nature, being brave seems like the most idealistic thing I can do. I can only be brave though when this spirit overtakes me. A spirit of gratitude and awe for everyone and everything that has gone before. We all have this spirit and you can see its presence marbled throughout history when over and over again people devote and sometimes sacrifice themselves to transform the world for the better. It’s beautiful.

And in you this spirit, this altruism, may take any form. You may become maternal and start baking everyone muffins. Maybe you give hand jobs while expecting nothing in return. Lock yourself in your tool shed until you invent a better pencil. Or perhaps just lie on your sofa and dream new dreams that will one day come true for all of us.


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Charleston, West Virginia My Life Story Uncategorized Writings

What is a dick?

Please forgive me if I make no sense. Right now the whole universe is bombarding my mercury- aka brain- and it has sped thought processes to where I can hardly function. Zillions of thoughts colliding into each other & all of them breaking into fragments. This will last a couple more years.

I can still write songs in this state, but songs come out like eggs. You have to let the emotional energy congeal again before laying the next one. In the meantime, there is still too much I need to express. Plus I am so alone & this blog is my closest friend.

So I am barfing out thoughtlets. To release them from my mind.

One strange thing about my mind is how it seems to have different pieces which live side by side, unknown to one another. I would notice this at school when I would get perfect scores on tests which- as far as I knew- I knew nothing about. Subjects like advanced math & science where you can’t fake it. Also, everything related to sex.

As a teen the last thing in the world I wanted was to be associated with sex or even being female. This could partially explain why I changed my name to Julian.

Buying female products was my worst nightmare. I would go to the store in disguise & wait til there were no people around. Later the products would be stored in a box hidden behind a dresser in a closet. I invented multiple codes for writing in my journal so that I could write in double code (a code within a code). But this wasn’t enough, so when they were finished my beautiful journals would have to be ripped to pieces and then burned. What was I writing about? Boys. Liking them was the most secretive & humiliating thing imaginable.


At the same time, however, I was- unknown to myself- constantly broadcasting sexual things in an inappropriate way. It was only many years later that the constant explicit nature of my actions became clear to me.

There was the way I would eat bananas in front of younger teenage boys. They would always ask me to eat them over and over again which I was happy to do since I brought 2 bananas with me to school every day. There was the time I plastered the school with a poem about 2 soft squishy balls which a man liked to play with. I really thought it was a poem about favorite toys and was bewildered by how people would crack up. There was my final art project at university which I thought was a tree, but in retrospect was a realistic picture of a dick sliding through a hole. There were the poems I wrote about people coming all over things and the look on the teachers faces when they read them. The times I would jump up on tables and start doing pelvic thrusts at family get togethers. Passing people notes that said “Do you want to make love?” Painting pictures of soldiers have sex with their dads and writing songs which (in retrospect) were obviously about people getting raped but at the time I thought they were songs about colors.

In my mind, almost everything was a color or a feeling. The literal meanings of things did not compute. Of course, I wouldn’t expect anyone to believe this because it doesn’t even make sense to me. How can someone know something and not know something at the same time?


I don’t know.

The End.

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Charleston, West Virginia men My Life Story Uncategorized Writings

Being Different People

Ned- the first born of the 5 giants.

Husband 1, in a past life, belonged to a race known as the Wise Ones. Wise Ones lived in lavish castles. They did not work. The vibration of their souls attracted great wealth to them. When Wise Ones incarnate on the earth plane however, they struggle to survive without the riches their soul is accustomed to. This can lead to depression and even heart failure.

Sometimes husband would lie on the floor with his hands on his chest, struggling to breath, too heavy for this world. The only thing that could save him was millions of dollars.

It seemed unlikely he could earn the money himself. Years of job aptitude tests had uncovered only two potential career options- wine tasting & boob feeling. I tried to find him a job in the boob feeling industry but massage therapy was too demanding. He got a job in a wine store but they only paid minimum wage.

I painted, wrote songs & made a little money but not enough to support us much less give him the lifestyle he deserved. Then he read a book on channeling and decided that I could channel information on how we could manifest millions of dollars straight from the ethers.

I didn’t feel great about this. Becoming a hollow tube for other beings to speak through wasn’t my cup of tea and I didn’t think I could do it anyway. But he needed millions of dollars within the next few months and I didn’t have a better idea.

So…. to make a long story short, I channeled that we should rename our apartment Archimedian Estates and paint everything inside it pink, gold & black. And we needed to fill it with 100 species of plants & a pet from each animal kingdom. This would make us millionaires.

A couple months later, the whole place was pink, black and gold. We had 26 plants, one snake, two birds, a fish and an eviction notice. Far from being millionaires, husband was now hitting up my friends and family for money- a humiliating fate. We separated then. I felt maybe, just maybe, I could eke out an existence alone, but there was no way in hell I could support a Wise One. They need all of life’s finest things just to survive.

The world was harder than I imagined though and a year later we were back together. The need for channeling picked up. Could I channel Mary, Archangel Michael, the Moon, the spirit of Fame? It made my head feel weird. But if I objected he would say “Hang on- I need to ask Auriel about this!” He yelled at me constantly but never at the other beings. Sometimes I would switch into them just as a safe spot.

Channeling snowballed fast. Before long Julien had been pushed out altogether and replaced by an ever growing cast of characters. It was no longer about channeling advice either. Now it was about him connecting to different women who were his wives and all these different humanoids who were his children.

His children included 5 giants- Brownie, Big Stuff, Ned, Ted & Fred. 1,000 genies called ‘the Hectors.’ And various others such as Sweet Cookie, Shelley, Fufu, Hunkdehunk, Sweetsie & Cherry Lemonade Spritz.

His wives are harder to remember but included Clementine, Ambrosia, Auriel & Earth. He would have sex with them. In general he preferred a different type of female than me- the Strong Business Woman. His wives were closer to this ideal. They even had different bodies.

I don’t know how long the period lasted in which I was continuously other people. Maybe 5 years. During this time husband got a job at Target. I would stay home reading books on magic & trying to do impossible things. Home was various places, like motels in the middle of deserts. Basements on the outskirts of Brooklyn.

I no longer ate normal food but subsisted on weird things like Chuckles & Jello. I liked these foods because they resembled the jell loafs Auriel ate in her world. I didn’t have normal clothes either. At one point the only thing I had to wear was a little girl’s cheerleading skirt he brought me home from Target & a teddy bear sweater (a sweater made for a teddy bear) which I wore as a hat.

Sometimes I would write songs but mostly I was plagued by weird fears, like my legs falling off. Unresolvable mental dilemmas would torture me for days like whether my soul smelled more like rose or ylang ylang. I would prank call people or send them weird letters & they would think I was scary.

I knew I had fallen out of step with society & felt ashamed but couldn’t find my way back. The only person I spoke with was my husband but he didn’t speak to me, just through me to his wives and children. I could no longer choose to not channel them since that would mean separating a man from his entire family, an inhumane act by any standards. They seemed to bring him joy.

And to this day I struggle with dissociative identity disorder. Maybe. But I don’t know if this is related to the time I spent being other people or not.

The End

Shelley. She had a soft jelly-like yellow body & rode in a wheelchair since her body was too soft. She wore a football helmet on her head and kept covered up in a blanket since she got so cold. She loved math & her pet fish. Sometimes I miss these friends & feel sad they are fading from my imagination.
Sweet Cookie who has two very wise pet squirrels- Nimrod & Noodleface. They have all sorts of special knowledge.



Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Writings

In My Head

I think my claim to fame is being the least practical person who spends the most time obsessing over how to be practical. 65% of the dialogues in my brain go something like this…

“Fuck. Shit. I’m one step away from being homeless! What should I do?”

“Something practical!”

“Like what? Jump off a bridge? I can’t live in a homeless shelter full of fleas!”

“Well how tall would the bridge need to be?”

“I don’t know!”

“Google it!”

“If I google it, will google alert the cops and then they show up at our house?”

“Shit- we don’t have makeup on!”

“It’s a bad idea anyway. It would hurt. And I’ve heard people regret it halfway down.”

“Ewww… that would suck. Maybe we could get a job at McDonalds then?”

“That’s practical. But what shoes would we wear?”

“Maybe getting practical shoes is our first step!”

“How though? We don’t drive.”

“Well…. Let’s start smaller. Maybe we could put more practical shoelaces in these shoes?”

“We do have that ball of brown yarn… brown is a practical color! We could make shoe laces out of that!”

“Yeah! And with the left over yarn we could make a bracelet!”

“Oh- and tie some around our finger as a ring! Everytime we see the ring we will remind ourself to be more practical!”

“YESSSS!!!” (Runs for ball of yarn & gets to work. Two hours later, the shoes are too loose cause the yarn isn’t strong enough & the bracelet & ring are soggy.)

“Fuck. I can’t keep wearing these. They itch. This doesn’t seem practical anymore.”

“It was a dumb idea.”

“What can we do then? We have to do SOMETHING practical or we’re gonna die!!!!”

“Maybe we could start by sending friend requests to people who work at McDonalds!”

“Oh- that is practical symbolism. Wait- how will we know if they work at McDonalds?”

“I don’t know… maybe we could start by sending friend requests to people whose names begin with Mac?”

“Yeah!!!”

“Wait… what if these people think we’re trying to have sex with them?”

“We could send them just to women?”

“They could think it too.”

“How do you have sex with a woman?”

“You stick your arm up their hole. It’s called fisting.”

“Fuck…. Everyone thinks I’m trying to fist them when really I just don’t want to die.”

“It’s embarrasing.”

“So what should we do?“

“Maybe first we should have a snack and think.

“Yes. A practi-snack!. Are pretzels practical?”

“Of course. They’re dry and crunchy.”

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Charleston, West Virginia Writings

The Smallest Blog Post

I go through phases where my arms and legs freeze up. I can’t move. The blood has retracted to my core. My brain freezes. My kidneys hurt. It is a response to fear I guess.

I can’t sing. It’s hard to talk or write. The feeling of silence is so thick and blood pumps in my ears. The acute phase lasts 24 hours. Then a lingering reluctance to make sounds or speak words. Eventually I remember to surround myself with the color red and it gives me the urge to be again. I can’t even say I like red in a ‘favorite color’ sense but it has thrown me a lifeline so many times it is like an angel.

That is the phase I have been in today. I’ve been listening to Hello by Lionel Ritchie on endless repeat. I don’t usually listen to music but when I do it is one song that hits me and so I listen to it over and over and over again. I like this song. It is so beautiful. Soon I will try surrounding myself with warm colors & hopefully it will become easier to speak. But first I will listen to Hellow a few more times.

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Charleston, West Virginia Politics Writings

In Praise of Communism

Communism cannot be defeated. It represents important truths and until capitalism wrestles with these and incorporates them into a broader capitalist vision the desire for communism will not go away. These truths include interdependence and the realization that power does not equal value. In other words, survival of the fittest does not mean survival of the best.

Supporters of capitalism champion values such as self-reliance and competition. Both beautiful things. But this frequently morphs into the naive view that whoever wins a competition was in fact superior and has more to offer society than those he vanquished.

A 60 second reflection on life will show this is not the case. Those who survive may be best at surviving, but this does not mean they contribute more to society. If baby Jesus were to be defeated by the AIDS virus, that is natural selection, but can we truly say the cream has risen to the top? Likewise, the winner of a business competition may have been best at winning the competition, but that is no guarantee they offer more value or a better product than those they beat out. Were the Mongols inherantly superior to those they destroyed? No. Might does not make right and might has little correlation to value.

But those with a religious belief in capitalism frequently cling to the notion that that which does survive and thrive is that which SHOULD survive and thrive, conveniently blocking from their minds the truth that evil is frequently well versed in survival. But this naive capitalist dogma relieves us of the human responsibility to ENSURE the survival of the good by throwing our weight behind it. We can sit on our hands and watch gladiators behead children while mumbling something about Darwin under our breaths. If people do not feel a moral responsibility to see that good triumphs, capitalism will create nothing more than a cesspool of oppression.

Allowing life to take its course is not evolution. Evolution is taking responsibility for what happens in our world. Might makes right leads to de-evolution.

The principle of self-reliance can also be troubling. On the one hand, it is a beautiful thing when people take responsibility for their own survival. On the other hand, most people who consider themselves ‘self-reliant’ pay little attention to all the people and systems which make their self-reliance possible. Then, when they see someone else struggling to survive, they make the naive assumption that a lack of self-reliance must be the problem.

Yet again, a 60 second reflection easily reveals the complicated truth that many (most?) human problems are external in nature. Slavery and systems which create functional enslavement being just two examples. As far as we know, the animals in the zoo are every bit as self-reliant- or would be anyways- as animals in the wild. To attribute the struggles of others to their inferior moral characters is simply a fantasy which relieves us of guilt as we prioritize the most trivial pleasures for ourselves over the basic needs of others. Because if we were to help them, they would never learn self-reliance, now would they?

There is also the brain-dead conflation of poverty with laziness. While this may be true in some cases, the reality is simple. Our wealth is determined by a single factor- how much money we have received from others. Lazy people frequently position themselves to receive quite a bit of money. Hardworking people can also position themselves to receive good money from their labor. Or hardworking people can find themselves in situations where they receive little or no rewards- in some cases even ending up in debt from nonstop work.

But it is always the case that wealth is simply a measure of what we have received. Never a measure of what we have given. Hardworking people all over the world can barely feed their children. In many cases the poor are the most hardworking segment of society. We call them the labor class. They are contributing but aren’t positioned to receive wealth- either through their own lack of skill in RECEIVING or an actual lack of options. In astrology, for example, the sign that rules work- Virgo- is associated with poverty. Virgo focuses constantly on solving the problems of those around him and is rewarded with scorn. A pattern we have all witnessed.

So this is yet another problem with religious capitalism- we measure people’s value by how much they have received from society, not how much they have given to it. We convince ourselves that these are one and the same. This relieves us of guilt & casts our fawning admiration towards the rich in a more flattering light. We admire their contributions. We aren’t sniveling syncophants drawn to power like a moth to hell.

So while I am fully team capitalism, I embrace it as an economic system- NOT a religious philosophy. Capitalism will never ensure the cream rises to the top. It is does not magically cause good to triumph over evil. That is OUR job. If we sit on our fat asses and watch humanity slug it out in a gladiator pit just waiting to suck the dick of the winner we will create a hell on earth. Cause you know who the winner will be. Satan. When capitalism is used as an excuse to free ourselves of moral responsibility, that is just the way things go.

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Charleston, West Virginia men Writings

Submission

Here is my feeling on submitting to your husband- it is inevitable. Wills are made of iron & men have more iron than women.

Still, it annoys me when submission is made into a moral accomplishment. Is falling down the stairs an accomplishment? What about riding down a mountain in a grocery cart? I don’t see anything particularly noble about yielding to someone else. It is more a practical choice.

I don’t like it to be sugar coated either. The happy submissive wife holding a tray of cookies. In real life, submission is an extreme sport. Like surfing. Giant waves come at you and there is nothing you can do to change them, just learn how to not get knocked down. Maybe there is value in living that way.

I recently read the autobiography of Bin Laden’s wife and couldn’t believe how much her life resembled mine. She must follow her husband around and not ask questions. When he comes he comes, when he goes he goes. Things blow up and she isn’t supposed to cry. He moves her to a frozen mountain top with no water or electricity and she doesn’t complain. Only once does she make a request from him- that he spend more time with his boys. He complies by encouraging them to become suicide bombers.

What resonates with me most about all this is that conservative propaganda leads people to believe you submit to your husband in exchange for security. False! There is little security in it. For Bin Laden’s wife, machine guns, bombs & grenades were everywhere. Even if your husband doesn’t lead a militia, full dependence puts you in a precarious position. If he leaves you or you leave him, you are doomed. Yet the odds are over 50% this will happen. If he goes insane you are also doomed. The odds are probably high for this as well. I recently took a poll of women asking what percentage of men- that they have known behind closed doors- were decent & the response averaged out to around 5%. So the probability of dependency meaning security plus home sweet home cookie platters is somewhere around 2%*. And you have little control over whether you end up in this 2% or not. From what I can tell, men are like movies. We can watch them but not impact what happens on the screen. Following a man’s will is not for the faint of heart.

Men seem to think women are obsessed with empowerment and proving they can do what a man can do. But I don’t know any women like this. So called “empowerment” usually serves the more humble purpose of not dying & ensuring your kids survive as well. I imagine most women would prefer decorating cookies for their loving husband to working in a sausage factory making ends meet. They just aren’t in the mood to play russian roulette when the odds are 98% not in their favor.

And it is really really hard to be both the empowered woman and the not-empowered woman at the same time. To devote oneself to home, wife & motherhood while also having a high-powered law career to fall back on.

There are definitely advantages to being a traditional obedient wife. You lose one type of freedom but gain another. The freedom of not having the spend the majority of your energy making a living. This allows you to devote yourself to what you find most meaningful. Maybe you will raise kids. Maybe you will learn to fly. I don’t think being a submissive/dependent wife is a bad option. But it troubles me that the cultural forces which promote it are the same one’s unwilling to acknowledge its true risks & challenges. Conservatives say things like “ a woman can’t be abused unless she wants to cause otherwise she would leave.” Well, how do they figure that? How does a person with no access to resources or survival skills just walk out the door?

This is why conservatives annoy me even though I am one. They are not realistic at all when it comes to women. They love to say that women abuse men just as much as men abuse women. But how exactly? Normally they fall back on the idea that women must be doing some super subtle form of invisible evil which ends up being the exact equivalent to all the dastardly deeds men quite obviously perform in the world. I don’t believe this at all. At the risk of giving someone a hernia, I do believe men are more “bad” than women. Because the masculine principle relates to power. The feminine principle relates to love. There is a reason the taliban is male. It’s not a coincidence.

So what is the solution? I don’t know. Submit to your husband or to your boss at the sausage plant. Her choice. Personally, I avoid the smell of sausage at all costs.

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Uranus & Saturn- Progress & Regress

Some people are so dumb they think time always runs forward. But in astrology time is various forces running in an eternal circle. The passage of time could make you old. Or it could make you young. It all depends on whether Jupiter or Saturn is rising to power. We become old and young in alternation. Sometimes at the same time.

Some view success as an upward climb. But that is a circle too. What goes up comes down and then up again. Some people begin life in success and end in failure. For others the reverse. We become visible & then sink back into invisibility. Or vice versa.

Some believe society progresses over time- eternally advancing in technology and humanitarian values. This progress is the work of Uranus. But he too has an opposing force- Saturn- who is always dragging us backwards and returning us to the past. Traditional roles & primitive technologies. Like what is happening in Afghanistan with the takeover of the Taliban. This backwards pull happens everywhere eventually and is just as certain as the forward pull of Uranus.

Right now, for example, Uranus is passing through Taurus– the sign of money. Crypto technology is moving forward in leaps & bounds. The financial institutions of today will soon be obsolete as power is once again democratized and returned to the people. The central overlords of money fall down & it becomes a simple matter for a poor person to get a small loan. (Btw- you should buy crypto yourself & hopefully stake with my AKLEI cardano pool!)

Meanwhile, Saturn is passing through Aquarius– the sign of social networks. At least for me, I am going backwards in terms of how I connect. The increasing censorship of big tech & social media sites like facebook had made this necessary since all my friends now rotate in and out of facebook jail on a regular basis. They have started censoring private messages as well.

So, I am trying to build up my interactive skills in other ways- learning how to use snail mail, learning how to use a phone & text, learning how to meet people in person or use email, all more old fashioned ways of connecting that don’t give you the reach of social media but do lead to more personal- and hence more solid, lasting & heavy relationships- something Saturn values.

We move forward into the future and we return to what was. One aspect of life may be progressing while another is regressing. Both movements have value.

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Charleston, West Virginia Politics Uncategorized Writings

Time to Reconsider Virtues

As I’ve said before, I believe virtues are- quite literally- the stars in the sky. They are guiding lights. Each person has unique virtues which are a part of their soul and stay relevant throughout their life. Other virtues must be picked up or discarded as the situation requires. They guide us for a while, but then we must turn in a new direction.

Group minds always align with specific virtues and these virtues become synonymous with goodness itself. These virtues may be very effective in a certain time and place. But circumstances always change until the virtues people cling to- the ones which give them a sense of identity and goodness- become the source of their undoing.

These past years for me have really been about the need to embrace virtues I previously rejected. Now that our society is staring down the barrel of a gun, I wonder if many are having that same experience. So many of the qualities we have seen as wholesome- politeness, smiles, harmony, empathy, minding your own business, seeing the best in others- work really well in times of peace. But not so much when you have enemies who are trying to kill you.

Conservative women especially tend to embrace values which work well when everything is running smoothly, but are less effective in guerrilla warfare. Group values are always polarized against some other group- real or fictional- who is seen as their antithesis. For conservative women, this is feminists.

Feminists are angry, shrill and chaotic. They want to compete with men, destroy men, even BE men. When conservative women consider how much they AREN’T like feminists they get a small jolt of pleasure in their brain, just as we all do while admiring ourselves. “Why are they so angry? I think men are wonderful! I don’t want to compete with men. I love being a woman!” Conservative men will sometimes reinforce this by casting these (mostly mythical) feminists as women who are embroiled in bitterness due to not being sexy enough to attract a man.

But none of this has anything to do with feminists. It is just a masturbatory technique used by all group minds to reinforce their chosen virtues. The real message- if you get angry and hysterical, if you OBJECT to things- then you are ugly and will no longer be deserving of the group’s love and protection.

All these conservative values work well in times of peace and prosperity when it makes sense to discourage people from rocking the boat.
But they are no longer working. We have watched for years as the liberal forces erode everything conservatives were wanting to conserve and they just stand there helpless, dick in hand. They hope a great leader will come save them. They talk about how wrong it all is. But they can do nothing to stop it. Their cherished virtues are completely impotent against the situation. They just stand there on a sinking ship like lily white virgins.

In general, the values conservatives previously embraced were earthy ones- meant to maintain stability. The ones we need now are fiery. To throw a fit and stand up for ourselves. The time of Aries, God of War, is soon arriving and whichever people are first to adopt his pugnacious attitude are likely to come out on top.

We can see from the election of Trump that conservatives are open to the possibility that something fiery & obnoxious could be appropriate. But are they willing to pick up that torch themselves? Or are they only willing to let someone else do their dirty deeds for them while they stand watching, dicks in hand, lily white virgins?

I think it is doubly important that conservative women reconsider their virtues. Why? Because men are the heavy lifters of humanity and women are its leading edge. They perceive problems before men do and have the ability to nip them in the bud while men are still sleeping. Conservative women frequently pride themselves on following the lead of men. In times of crisis this is not a good idea. We pick up on things before they do. By the time men rise up things will have already gone too far, making the world a scary place for women.

I consider our shrill shrieking voices to be the alarm system of the human race. Sometimes an alarm is all you need to scare the bad guys away. And I believe the thing holding females back from this is an intense attachment to certain virtues and strong negative association with fiery ones. We want to be the lovable woman. Not the screeching harpy. If we screech it means we are ugly. No one can love us.

So here are just a few values for conservative women to consider embracing.

1. Anger & hatred. Scrunching up your face to scream at the top of your lungs. What is wrong with this? Doesn’t Jesus throw hissy fits throughout the Bible? Doesn’t God?

The aversion to anger is not based in spirituality, but reflects the fact that in times of peace, anger tends to be more destructive than useful. Hence it gets discouraged.

In times of war, however, anger & hatred are fiery rivers of power that energize you to express your love for your people. They embolden you to take actions that matter. A person incapable of anger & hatred cannot have any strong love. Nor can they get a boner. You won’t believe me now, but one day you will realize anger & hatred are the river of fire from which boners flow. Boners are anger turned into a generative force. Without them, love is flaccid.

2. Drama. Why do people hate drama? In astrology, drama is ruled by the sun which is the energy source of our entire world. How many popular movements changed the world without drama? Zero.

Once again, our aversion to putting three extra scoops of drama on everything just reflects the needs of a society at peace. Don’t rock the boat or stir the waves. But when you have a ginormous enemy coming to kill you, well then you do want to stir the waves & raise the energy of the opposition to the highest level possible. And that is what drama is- heightened energy. Adding more energy, color, visibility, and emotion. Conservative women need to wipe the pale gray oatmeal from their face and give drama a whirl. Put some ginger back in their swagger.

3. Pettiness. Especially when it comes to women, the value of pettiness cannot be overstated. One of our main contributions to the human race is that we see problems before men do- while they are still small & able to be changed. A lack of pettiness makes you overlook problems and suppress natural responses until situations become serious. Once things are really bad then you can react without being a petty person. But by that point it is frequently too late to change anything.

Still we are encouraged to not be over reactive but instead to let small things slide off our backs. Yet again, a trait that is socially valuable in maintaining peace.

But when someone is trying to kill you, largess is not your friend. You need to notice the tiny infringements on your boundaries and be more reactive. Why not punch a bully the first time he crosses you rather than wait until he kills three of you friends? In war, you may only get one chance to see a problem and respond. Then it’s over.

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So put anger, hatred, drama, & pettiness together & what do you get? Sounds a lot like liberals, right? And look who is winning- they are.

“Good things don’t come to those who wait. They come to those who agitate.” – Julian Bond