Download Mp3: Knife
Category: Music & Songs
This song was created through the confluence of two streams in my mind. On the one hand, I was thinking about Christmas, and how happy I am for winter to be coming. It’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but I’ve already had my fill of accommodating autumn and am now craving the stern precision of winter. I can’t wait to fill my home with bundles of puritanical pine branches and portraits of scowling santas.
The second stream of thought that produced this song is so taboo I should probably not even mention it. But here it goes. I was thinking about… White People. The White Race. It is weird, I am afraid to even say White People. Although considering the racial genocides that have gone on since the beginning of history, perhaps it is not weird that our society would prefer to blot out concepts of race altogether. Still, how can I think about ice, snow, and Christmas without white people entering my mind? Some think humans turned white in the first place from spending so much time in frosty, northern climates, deprived of warmth and sunshine. In a way, white people are the children of ice and snow. Or more precisely the descendants of giant white man who is made of ice and snow himself, although he turns green in the spring. He is a severe man and you don’t want to end up on his bad side…
Through the Christmas Tree
Follow me through the Christmas tree
inside a silver ring
and I’ll stay with you, my whole life through
I’ll never ask for anything
Seasons go, we’ll watch them flow
through windows of ice
see the people die; they always cry
so surprised to pay the price
Snowflakes fall, they form a wall
that cradles us inside
where we’ll drink our tea, you’ll stay with me,
couldn’t we be satisfied
Snowflakes fall, they form a wall
but that’s the price we pay
to be hard and strong and never wrong
to never falter never fade
When the white man comes you can know he will not leave you dry-eyed
(fly away when you have the chance)
Gold or silver, only you can decide
(better not to join his dance)
Shaky wrists, glassy eyes
your mind starts to slide
filled with fantasies, christmas trees,
dreaming of the world outside
Tall and proud, men say out loud
that pain is divine
but I’ve seen it slice, a blade of ice
they clench their teeth; they change their mind
When the white man comes you can know he will not leave you dry-eyed
(fly away when you have the chance)
Gold or silver, only you can decide
(better not to join his dance)
Distant dreams of earthly things
take on a golden glow
how the valleys shine; they fill with wine
they draw you to the world below
Where I once found you red, almost dead
stripped of all your rings
lying weak and poor upon my floor
you who wanted everything
Download MP3: Through the Christmas Tree
This song was inspired by my ongoing realization that the grumpier and more serious you appear, the better people treat you. The heavier and darker your clothes, the thicker your glasses, the more sour your expression, the more intelligent people think you are. And the more intelligent they think you are, the more likely they are to come to your aid in an emergency situation (even better if they think you’re rich.) We all know that when animals are in trouble, the amount of effort people put into saving them depends completely on their weight. The whole world joins forces to save a trapped whale, but when a fruit fly languishes in a glass of water, nobody sheds a tear. So in life, you gotta seem heavy. You got to try to be that whale.
Sober
Let me be the one who is sober,
Unconcerned, responsible and older.
Sneering at their childish plans,
Disgusted by their sticky hands,
Weighing down their dreams like a boulder.
For in this world never believe that
it’s safe to be terrified or go soft inside
for we’ll take it all
we will all watch you fall.
I used to think a smile would make them love me,
But it only lifted all of them above me.
The wiser man would wear a frown
That drags the other person down,
Cause when they’re down they see the glory of me.
For in this world never believe that
it’s safe to be terrified or go soft inside
for we’ll take it all
we will all watch you fall.
I used to float like a happy bubble in the air;
They smiled at me, they watched me pop without a care.
While the ones who frown are carved in stone,
The ones whose hearts are filled with bone,
They’re the ones we always repair.
For in this world never believe that
it’s safe to be terrified or go soft inside
for we’ll take it all
we will all watch you fall.
People say that happiness is a butterfly
Who abandons you, who flits away when it’s time to cry.
Drive the sluts out from your fold-
Bitterness contains the gold,
Bitterness contains the glue
That binds hearts to you.
Download MP3: Sober
Download Mp3: Best Friends Forever
you bought me candy and you held my hand
and we walked, just the two of us, there on the sand
and we watched the horizon so far away
and i smiled- i knew it would all be mine someday
but then when you left the horizon turned flat
it was an empty line, who wants to waste their time chasing that?
and all the dreams were shadows that left the world colder
and the future was only a place to get older and die
death was everywhere behind every smile
it fueled the people’s dreams, they drove mile after mile
but i stood there, just waiting for my time to run out
tousled by the purple sheets blowing about
in a wind that came from somewhere, but from where no one was sure
life was just a riddle then, so pointless and obscure
that no one even tried to answer it, they just drove faster in their cars
wanting to go anyplace as long as it was far
from the place they were born, a birth they could not even remember
memory was a flashlight, a tiny handheld ember
that we used to move forward, but never to look back,
while behind us a presence grew so ominous and black
and in front of us we were certain we heard footsteps descending
we knew they were death’s feet, heralding our ending
for i’d seen my own mother slide like a child into his robes
so we focused with exclusion on the things we could control
studiously shining our little lights on tombstones
memorizing names that belonged to the bones
and at times i would lie down and dream i was dying
i’d close both my eyes and watch purple flags flying
thru a sky with two moons and my hands would grow colder
would my mother recognize me now thirty years older?
would we walk again, the two of us, on a beach in the sky?
would i feel hope again when i found a world where you don’t have to die?
or would death be there, as well, would he slide through the curtain
a jack in a black box who makes pain so certain
when he scoops out the fruit and then leaves me the rind
until i’m clawing like an animal for a way to feel full inside
when you were here, i was here, i occupied this place,
but now my heart is stretches like an ache throughout space
i look everywhere to find you, people tell me to let go
but i see their eyes shine with a demonic glow
i will follow you, i’ll follow you, i’ll fight through the veils
we will meet again, i don’t know where, but please let your trail
lead me outside of time where we can hold hands forever
and i can dream again, knowing we’ll be best friends forever.
Theodore
bells ring, people sing
nobody cries about anything
they just let go, follow the flow
this is the wisdom that people know
but i dream in stone- i know this world of air
it can’t be the world that’s really there
through my fingers the tears keep falling down
they’ll fall and fall until they reach a solid ground
aye aye bye bye
theodore has left us and we’ll never know why
try not to cry when people die
ok, but where do they go?
they go to the light
that’s what you say, but it doesn’t seem right
to have to stay in a world so slight
change is life, life is change
these are the things you can’t rearrange
nothing in this world lasts forever
this brings value to the time we spend together
but I dream of bodies that God won’t take away
with limbs that never fall off and decay
through fingers my tears keep falling down
they’ll fall and fall until they reach the solid ground
aye aye bye bye
theodore has left us and we’ll never know why
try not to cry when people die
ok, but where do they go?
they go to the light
that’s what you say, but it doesn’t seem right
to have to stay in a world so slight
we won’t cry, this is a celebration
theodore made his life into a joyous creation
he was smart, fun, hardworking and modest
now he’s invisible and made of air just like God is
but i dream of gods with bodies of their own
who walk this world decked out in flesh and bone
just like angels, my tears keep falling down
they’ll fall and fall until we reach the solid ground
aye aye bye bye
theodore has left us and we’ll never know why
try not to cry when people die
ok, but where do they go?
they go to the light
that’s what you say, but it doesn’t seem right
to have to stay in a world so slight
don’t despair, he’s still sort of there
living in your heart like a puff of warm air
Download MP3: Theodore
This song (not to be confused with “I am the Bone“) was inspired by things in the news, people going missing & all that.
I am Bone
Push through trees at night you’ll never
find the one you’ll love forever.
Some die, some don’t
Some will some won’t
Follow me & I will show you.
Come find me, keep in mind we
won’t be coming home- I am bone.
Shine a flashlight on the dark ground
Time changes thing until they can no longer be found.
I once swore to go before you
Follow me & I will show you
Come find me, keep in mind we
won’t be coming home- I am bone.
When they scream you’ll know they’ve found me
Terror and shock they will surround me
Don’t shake don’t cry, I am nearby
Follow me and I will show you.
Come find me, keep in mind we
won’t be coming home- I am bone.
Download MP3: I Am Bone
One of my favorite parts of living in West Virginia is driving through the mountains at night listening to religious sermons on the radio. Yesterday, the sermon was about the Millennial Reign of Jesus, which begins when the Saints of Tribulation rise from the grave and begin their march up the Mountain of Olives, where Jesus will be waiting for them along with a white unicorn. On this mountain, Jesus and the saints will arm themselves and prepare for the battle ahead, which involves casting most humans into hell (but only AFTER turning them into immortals, so that they will suffer till the end of time) and imprisoning Satan deep in Cetarez- the Mariana Trench of Hell (where he will live for the next one thousand years, until he escapes for the Final Battle.)
While I’m not sure I completely agree with the preacher on what the future holds, I do like it that people’s minds are open enough to entertain such fanciful possibilities. And I like the idea that the very essence of reality could suddenly change in the blink of an eye. I tend to assume that the basic laws and shape of the universe will remain as they are- but what if they won’t? What if the people of the hills are right, and this is the seventh day of reality- the day when God rests- but soon his day of rest will end and all of hell will break loose? Although, personally, I would prefer a less violent eighth day, when Jesus returns to right every wrong and turn the earth into Teddy Bear World.
Download MP3: Burn
You learned to live in a world of dark blue
People walk by but they never touch you
You learned to live in a world of role play
People mean things that they never say
Hold on to your mask, keep on walking fast
Soon the door will open and you’re gonna get past
Just keep walking to the river; just keep walking through the night
You’ll see the door begin to form inside the morning light
Big ship flying out of this world
Big ship flying out of this world
You learned to see in a world of rainbow
Spend your day shopping for a set of new clothes
Cold cold rainbow behind them big smiles
Chills down your spine when the needle slides
Slip inside your veins and it’ll be too late for you
Soon you won’t remember what you came on earth to do
Could you slip inside your mind and make a corner just for you
Maybe leave behind a symbol of the things you need to do
Big ship flying out of this world
Big ship flying out of this world
You learned to walk in the world of today
Scrub, scrub, scrub off the memory
You learned to walk in a world of touchdowns
High-five when another ship goes down
You know you’ll never make it if you don’t begin to run
Do you want to trade forever for a tiny bit of fun
And is it even fun or just another style of pain
Do you ever wonder why your loss is someone else’s gain
Big ship flying out of this world
Big ship flying out of this world
Give them three noes for every one yes
Never apologize and never confess
Run from the people who think that you’re strange
Run from the people who say that they’ll change
People never change, but their ships go down
You don’t want to tie your mind onto the wisdom of this town
You know they’ll never make it, you know their ways are wrong
You got to keep on running to the ship where you belong
Big ship flying out of this world
Big ship flying out of this world
Download MP3: Big Ship
gold and green, hard and round
favorite son, toast of town
bathe in wine, soak it up
slip inside golden cup
soaking up the golden sun
seeking smiles from everyone
life is laughter, life is fun
seeking praise from everyone
for your fire for your flame
golden face, golden smile, golden name
they will see just how happy you are
you are the sun, you are the way, you are the daystar
you’re no fool, you know the fluff
is the child of darker stuff
nameless men, blackened faces
shoveling in darker places
underground, never done
shine no light, see no sun
when they emerge on creaky knees
you will be the star they see
it’s your fire, it’s your flame
golden face, golden smile, golden name
they will see just how humble you are
you are the sun, you are the way, you are the daystar
in your stomach something churns
late at night, acid burns
clutch your stomach, clutch your wife
you deserve a happy life
fix your stomach, fix your self
mommy’s picture on your shelf
you are smart, you are good
you will burn the ancient wood
for your fire, for your flame
golden face, golden smile, golden name
they will see just how lucky you are
you are the one, you are the sun, you are the daystar
Download MP3: Daystar
Dream World
You’re all alone now, nothing changes 
Snow blows and it rearranges
Time froze into winter cages
Try to settle in.
Cold air through an empty earhole
Brain cried its last tears so many years ago
Fur hat is a symbol of a world that’s never been.
But you hear stories of cinnamon cloves
Fingers thawing over ovens and stoves
Copper kettle that whistles and blows
Dogs that wag their tails when you walk in.
Dream World, sleeps in a box at night
Seed World, hidden from every light
Need world, nothing to do but hang on.
Dream World, why can’t I breathe?
Because you’re in the ground; it has things that you need,
But love is all around; you’re only a seed so hang on.
Night falls when nobody sees you
Might be death when nobody needs you
Limbs freeze when nobody feels you
Life continues on.
The spring will come, yes, but not for me I’m sure
Streams that freeze won’t bubble anymore
Ice glued to a frozen door won’t welcome anyone.
But you’ll hear stories of cinnamon cloves
Clouds of licorice clinging to clothes
Sun shining over tea towels and doughs
Arms of baking bread when you walk in.
Dream world, sleeps in a box at night
Seed world, hidden from every light
Need world, nothing to do but hang on.
Dream world, why can’t I breathe?
Because you’re in the ground; it has things that you need
But love is all around, you’re only a seed so hang on.
Brains shut down and spirits die
Souls dry up when they never cry
But hearts keep beating cause they know
the answers lie in time.
Dreams sleep in the frozen ground
Pink dots lost in a world of brown
They can’t be seen or make a sound
but their ears are open wide
And they hear stories of cinnamon cloves
Candies smothered in ribbons and bows
Flowers blooming in well tended rows
Arms that squeeze so tight when you walk in.
Dream world, sleeps in a box at night
Seed world, hidden from every light
Need world, nothing to do but hang on.
Dream world, why can’t I breathe?
Because you’re in the ground, it has things that you need,
But love is all around; you’re only a seed so hang on.
Download MP3: Dream World