Category: Astrology

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia men My Life Story Writings

Mommy I’m scared!

I’m scared because tomorrow an astrological storm begins. It’s in James’s chart, not mine, but those are the worst. My transits tend to play out more internally- I draw a black cloud in my journal- while his involve car chases, explosions & wild animals.

Maybe it will be okay. My current strategy is to try to talk about transits as much as possible before they happen. “By the way James, tomorrow at 2 pm you’ll have an explosive rage transit.” He still feels the energy, but expecting it makes it less likely to be randomly projected at the nearest target (me).

This works well for little moon transits, which only last a few hours and are mostly about feelings anyway. But the upcoming storm is about 8 days long. The sun will ignite an underground river of slut fuel. A couple titans duke it out in the house of sex, death & money. It may be okay. Storms happen all the time. I just try to worry about them as much as possible before hand in case it helps.

As I shared before, I’m currently having a Saturn square Mercury transit. It’s basically shining a spotlight on all the negative thoughts I hold, all the things which bring me down. So while the voices are telling me I suck day and night, the good part is, it’s also giving me a chance to change some of my problematic thinking.

For example, I’d like to retract a blog post I wrote a few days back, expressing my love for the book ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” I’ve decided it’s a crock of shit. And this is after 4 years of devotion. I even put the author on my top ten heroes list.

Cause when it comes down to it, what the book is really saying is suck ass constantly and you’ll have less friction in your relationships. Which is true. But is it a good way to live? Cause all those aspects of yourself you suppress just pile up behind you like ghosts. Eventually they cause problems of their own. Suppression of self is an emergency measure to use when kidnapped- it shouldn’t be a long term marriage strategy. It can’t be the ideal.

Although things are going pretty well with James. We found a new hobby. Watching movies. In the theater, where popcorn is $5 but refills & melted butter are unlimited. It’s the best thing ever. I like it when he chooses the movie so I am immersed in a world of foreign, exotic energies.

Not to sound schizophrenic, but it really feels like these movies are being handcrafted by God and filled with special messages just for me. I learn so much about astrology, the future, men, myself and everything really. It’s great.

So far I’ve seen…

1. Top Gun. (As mentioned here.)

2. The Black Phone. This perfectly expressed the third decan of Pisces we are now in. A time when people must be willing to confront the darkness and finally gather courage to stand and fight.

3. Jurassic Park. Traumatic. People getting eaten triggers me. I ran out of the theater crying, but James used logic to calm me down. He said the dinosaurs were CGI and not puppets. Therefore it would be impossible for them to eat anyone. He also explained that watching bad guys get eaten is good for men’s testicles. (I’m paraphrasing.) So I returned to my seat and watched the rest of the movie. It made me feel tough actually, and getting tough in preparation for 2024 is one of my goals.

4. Elvis. A beautiful movie. I didn’t get to extract its meaning though, cause at the end when I was crying and letting it all sink in James began whispering in my ear all the clues that Elvis was gay. I felt his theory held water but the mental processing erased the movie’s emotional impact on me. Using intellect to dry up emotion is the gift and curse of Virgo.

Slipper’s cookie jar.
A towel with blue roses.
A bear made of glass.

The river.


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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Saturn Writings

Saturn Transits

(Warning, this post is about astrology. If you have no interest in the subject, as I hope most of my readers won’t, please skip ahead.)

It has been challenging to communicate recently. I am back in that state of writing songs & posts but not publishing them cause everything that comes out of my mouth seems so dumb.

Of course, this is nothing to worry about, just the natural result of Saturn squaring Mercury.

So allow with me to share with you my best tips so far for dealing with Saturn transits.

1. Recognize what is happening. During a Saturn transit a gray/brown cloud hangs over your head causing your brain to fill with critical & gloomy thoughts. But these thoughts aren’t real. They are just your brain’s way of trying to make sense of a heavy presence.

Once you realize you are being touched by a spirit and gloomy thoughts are simply your intellect’s attempt to translate this energy, the negativity should start to lose its grip on you. After all, you aren’t really depressed, you are just in the presence of a depressed spirit.

2. Now you need a way to metabolize the energy so it won’t continue hanging over your head. I know 2 basic techniques..

A) Take up a Saturnine activity that appeals to you. Study history or geology. Collect antiques. Find ways to be more pretentious and condescending. Run for office. (This is what I did when my transit began, but I lost the primary.) Attend funerals. But don’t cry. Think dry. Pompous. Boring. Heavy. Old. Historical. And fibrous.

B) Alternately you can double down on your life’s purpose. Saturn is all about earning a place in society (preferably a high one) through your contributions. So remove distractions from your life and refocus efforts on what matters most.

But do use your third eye to peer down the road a bit- are you building something that will bring you security and respect in your elder years? Or are you walking a dead end path? Do you own the fruits of your labor? Or can the rug be pulled out from beneath you at any time?

If, for example, you are working in your brother’s lemonade stand, this would be a great time to begin working towards a stand of your own. Or at least to find ways to hedge yourself against the vagaries of the future. Saturn is not just about the past- he also looks forward to see which of his efforts will endure and accumulate. These are the pursuits he wants to spend time on.

And lastly you must lower your expectations. Temporarily. During a Saturn transit you are wading through mud, so if you expect progress at your normal speed, you may be discouraged. Move slower than usual if you must, but don’t stop. The strength you gain while pushing through mud will serve you well once the transit lifts. Then you will feel you are walking on air.

Me during the Saturn-Mercury conjunction. Or was it Saturn-Sun? At any rate, I felt so bad about myself this was the closest up picture I would allow James to take.

A potato. The most Saturnine grain.
This could be you one day if you play your cards right.
Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Politics Writings

Sacrifice

Republicans tend to extol the virtues of self-reliance and self-interest. To believe their responsibility is primarily- sometimes exclusively- to their family and close friends. This is a practical approach to life. It’s more sensible to focus on being a good provider than to try and Save Africa. Growing your own business is likely to produce more prosperity for the world than giving to charity.

And yet there is also an opposing principle on which the survival of humanity depends. Sacrifice. We are only here due to the sacrifices of those who came before us. Their willingness to use their life or lay down their life for people they would never know. Their willingness to allow their family to experience hardship for the good of the collective.

When greed and focus on me and mine becomes too strong and a spirit of sacrifice too weak, humans are vulnerable. No one steps up to combat threats. Instead they focus on minimizing damage to themselves and their families. And so the threats grow increasingly stronger until protecting oneself and one’s family becomes impossible. Everyone must be willing to risk something for the collective or none of us survive.

We’ve seen a lot of this selfishness in recent years when too few wanted to stand up to the mobs because it wasn’t in their self interest to do so. No one wants to lose their job, their friends, get yelled at. And so the mobs, the insanity, the bad things grow stronger and stronger, hurting all of us. In coming years this will continue. Unless we can muster a sense of devotion to the higher good, unless we take risks for the collective, we WILL be overtaken by tyranny. Selfishness leads to mass death.

But sacrifice is not only essential for survival- it is part of what makes life worthwhile. It opens the spirit to everything transcendent and beautiful. To make a God of one’s own survival…. there is something grotesque about it. It traps us in a world of meat. Only through giving our life away does our existence begin to take on meaning.

This is the story of Jesus whose symbol- like Pisces- is a fish. When he sacrifices his life out of love for humanity, he gains life eternal. His suffering is temporary but his joy is permanent. Because really we are already eternal beings stretched beyond death, but until we care about something more than ourselves we remain unaware of this. Even when you place your family’s survival above all else, what are you teaching them? That the purpose of life is to survive? Then life must have no purpose, because they won’t.

Sacrifice opens us up to receive from higher realms. We grow inspired, uplifted, empowered. We have two more years of Neptune in Pisces. We must use this time. If you believe bad things are happening, then stand against them. Do not simply try to minimize the impact on your own self. Unless we love the collective and risk ourselves for those we will never know, we all fall down. Don’t save your own hide at someone else’s expense. Instead take a bullet for an unknown brother.

P.S. Love of one’s own life is a beautiful red flame and without it nothing else is possible. To survive is the first law of the jungle, a religion I subscribe to. Unless one values survival, risking it has no meaning. Unless one cherishes their own life, they can’t develop that love for the multitude which opens the gates to heaven.

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

The Group Mind

I feel like the group mind is my retarded little brother. He’s so SSSSLLLLLOOOWWWW. A fire breaks out and four years later he shows up with his extinguisher. But now storm clouds are approaching. Hey Retard- LOOK! Do you see that?!?

No, he doesn’t. He’s too busy rolling around on the floor, whacking off to the idea of himself as a fireman.

He’s never any help in the moment. But once the battle is over you can bet he’ll show up on the field to take selfies, then whack off to the idea of himself as a soldier.

Like now, what are people talking about? They are still responding to concepts like ‘toxic masculinity’ ‘believe all women.’ They are still calling people snowflakes. All moments that have passed! (I am making strangling movements with my hands while thinking about this cause it frustrates me so much.) Meanwhile they ignore the threats which are clear and present.

Snowflakes. I got called a snowflake today for the fact that- personally- I find the Heard trial triggering. I find it triggering that she owes 10 million for an op-ed. I find it triggering that people are treating her like a piece of shit when- for all they know- she actually was abused.

Really I should take it as a compliment because I do plan to be a snowflake in years to come. Snowflakes are exactly what we’ll need in the fiery, insensitive days that lie ahead. I claim a right to my own feelings and a right to express them regardless of whether or not they are the feelings someone else believes I should have.

The snowflake phenomenon was only in play during the latter half of the 2010s decade when Neptune was in the second decan of Pisces, which turns people into whiny entitled babies. The problem with those snowflakes is they weren’t real snowflakes. They were bullies in snowflake disguise. Neptune represents what people try to *appear* to be, what they see as ideal, not necessarily what they are.

So the problem with snowflakes circa 2019 is they weren’t really sensitive, they just used concepts like empathy and sensitivity as an excuse to bully others. I guess the overly self-indulgent attitude was a problem as well. Micro-traumas demanded staying home from work to binge watch tv while wearing face masks. But you can guarantee that will be ending soon.

Likewise, the anti-male sentiment people are now reacting too is also in the rearview mirror. It has been for a while. In the past couple years, women have been the main target under group mind attack. Karens. Amy Cooper. Ashli Babbitt. Men in women’s sports and restrooms. Men debating whether or not women have the right to live if it would require an abortion. People saying dumb shit like female on male violence is a serious problem as the Taliban forces women back into their homes. Please don’t hurt me retarded brother. I know the words of 2019 are still ringing in your ears. But I’m not attempting to mount men and force them into eternal submission. Just saying what appears to be true. Men need to finish licking paper cuts which are four years old and move into the current moment. It’s embarrassing.

So what’s coming up? Fire. Aggression. Anger. Athletes. Soldiers. Action. No more laziness. No more philosophical discussions. Dogs. We will all become dogs. But hard dogs, street dogs, dogs that have no owners to soften them.

So I am preparing for my usual position of opposing the group mind as it moves around the zodiac. I plan to become more sensitive. Start taking bubble baths. Float around in them for hours while drooling on myself as tears pour from my eyes.




In case you would like to read more about this from an astrology perspective…

The Future: Neptune in Aries
The Present/Recent Past: Neptune in Pisces
More on Neptune in Pisces

I have to say though- sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night panicking, because in all these years Neptune has been travelling through Pisces I have done nothing but talk smack about it. The truth is Pisces has a lot to offer but every time I try to write something positive about it I suddenly become too lazy to move. So I don’t know what to do about it.

Good things have come from these years though. Things I am only now beginning to appreciate as our Pisces time is drawing to a close. I just saw the movie Top Gun- which I feel accurately captures the values & perspective of Neptune in Aries. I am afraid I won’t cut it in this vigorous new world.

(Hi- this is Julien from the future dropping in to tell you I just wrote a post explaining one of the gifts- sacrifice- that can be gained from Neptune’s transit through Pisces.)

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Astrology Uncategorized Writings Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

White, Black & Gold



Time divides all things into white, black & gold.

White is the beginning. Life has a solid structure. Ideals are clear & shining. There is a road that leads to the place one is going. Life is pure. You look ahead of you and see that things will stay pure forever. You are a good person.

Black is the middle. Nothing makes sense anymore. There are roads, but they are tangled up and none of them lead anywhere. None of them are pure. Your moral structures, your ideals, none of them shed any light on the choices confronting you. You are lost and forced to choose between poisons as you wander in circles.

Gold is the end. The road did lead somewhere after all. Now you look back. You can see the meaning of the black and of the white. Your journey is over but you have gained something you will keep forever. What began as idealism has turned into wisdom. Wisdom is the place where ideals and reality meet. You will take this wisdom with you to your new beginning, when you go back to the white and start to dream again.

These three phases exist in all things and circulate through our lives on a micro and macro level. All three phases must happen for evolution to occur.

But sometimes people get stuck in the white. They don’t want to leave purity behind to wander in the muck. You see this in Christians and Romantics.

Christians try to control their beliefs, their thoughts, their emotions, their actions, their sexuality. They believe that if they entered the black there would be no end to it- nothing on the other side. They don’t want to leave the purity. Sometimes they choose death over dirty hands, believing they will go to heaven this way but they won’t. Because heaven is gold. Unless you wander in the darkness you will never get there. You will simply be reborn right where you left off, in white- the world of beginnings.

Romantics are the same. They love the purity of a love that is shiny and new but shrink in horror from a love that has been touched by shit and grime. But this cannot be. Nothing can live in the white world for long. There is no sustenance there. We get our food from killing and money from playing games. We deceive and destroy to survive. If we are unwilling to do the dark deeds ourselves we attach to those who will do them for us. Then they touch us with their dirty hands. Nothing can stay clean, not even love. Not if it wants to live.

But the Romantic cannot bear this. They discard their tarnished penny and search for a shiny new one. They are trapped in white. The world of endless repetition.

There are dangers in the black world as well. In the white world, we were guided by belief structures. When these crack and we are wandering directionless, it is tempting to reach for darker beliefs. But this isn’t the time to build new mental structures because they will only reflect our pain, not the truth. In the dark world all roads are twisted. You see only a few feet ahead of you. You have to keep struggling, fighting, digging. This is no time to make sense of it all. You have no distance. And if you allow dark structures to be erected in your mind these can keep you trapped in the dark world forever. That is hell.

Gold has dangers too. You don’t want to reach it prematurely. Gold is the harvest- once you reach it, the time for growth is over. Think of artists struggling to create under the weight of being star, icon & hero. Think of the person so dignified they can hardly move. Gold is a fixative. The journey has ended and now it is safe to sit in comfort and extract the lessons from all that has happened. But until enough experiences have taken place there will not be much wisdom to extract.

Another danger is to skip to the gold phase altogether. To start a war, to fight it, then immediately to start the next one. There has to be a pause. A time when you look backwards to process all that has happened. Now the game has ended and you can see how all the pieces fit together. What was worthwhile & what wasn’t? When a person actively sifts through their experiences, their next new beginning will start at a higher level than before. Gold causes us to ascend. It forms the stairway to heaven.

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Jupiter is Idealism

Big Stuff is one of the Giants I wrote about in an earlier post. But he looks pretty Jupiterian to me, so I will place him here.

When you are a child you desire to be awesome- to have exceptional abilities that make you shine to those around you. Growing up is about realizing that no one wants to watch you shine. It’s annoying. What people want is for you to add value to their lives. What society wants is for you to add value to society.

Enter Jupiter. In traditional astrology, he is the bringer of wisdom, luck & riches. In modern astrology, he is frequently associated with weight gain, overspending & all forms of excess.

If I had to sum up Jupiter in one word, I would call him Idealism. He is the first planet who causes us to look beyond our personal goals to see how we can benefit the world around us. And as we become *for others* others become for us. They now have a motivation to help us. Society now has a motivation to reward us. People can open doors for us which we could never have opened for ourselves. This is luck. People invest in us and introduce us to new ideas & ways of seeing things. And so our world begins to expand.

But will our waistline expand as well? Possibly yes, but not because Jupiter is a pleasure seeking lush. In my opinion, every planet is a correcting force to the planet preceeding it. The Sun is hot and the Moon cools it. The moon is mushy but mercury is crisp. Mercury is too mental so Venus opens the heart. Venus is weak so Mars is strong-willed. Mars is shielded and independent, focusing on enemies and threats. So Jupiter opens up, to see the good in the world and also the good that COULD be in the world. You will never hear Jupiter say that humans suck. He fucking LOVES humanity.

But this new openness and love for the world naturally leads to a softening of personal boundaries and willpower. Jupiter will eat more, drink more and buy more just because he is more in touch with the goodness around him and lacks the will to resist. His personal bank account is not the most important thing to Jupiter anyway. He is externally focused. Just as the moon focuses on children and Venus focuses on her boyfriend, Jupiter focuses on society, seeing it through a doting golden glaze. He is the true believer in humanity’s potential and this excites him more than personal glory or owning buns of steel. His mind and emotions are mixed up and swirled with the world around him. If this goes too far of course, his generous optimistic spirit can be his undoing, which is why he is followed by the correcting force of hard & crusty Saturn.

And I believe Jupiter’s altruism is responsible for the high spirits he is known for. Our personal cares often dissolve when we develop an outer focus and fall in love with something beyond our self. Jupiter is about falling in love with our human tribe or even humanity. The world becomes brighter, more interesting, filled with meaning and purpose. Suddenly we matter because there are always things we can do to benefit and romance our new love interest. This does not necessarily mean we will be volunteer at a soup kitchen however. Depending on the sign and placement of Jupiter, this altruism can take many forms. Maybe we are Batman and do the dark works no one else has the stomach for. Maybe we are a clown working at a gas station, bringing a laugh to all the customers. We could be a writer, a hater, a bragger or a dancer. It isn’t the actions themselves which are Jupiterian but the motivation behind them. Jupiter’s motivation is to give to humanity. Idealism.

My Jupiter is in Aries for example, so at times when I am overtaken by altruism I become more fiery & belligerent than my normal personality. Almost as though our idealistic self is a genie kept in a bottle, a separate spirit who can possess us and provoke us into action our regular self would not take. My idealistic self tries to place myself in the line of fire in the hopes of taking a few bullets for humanity. Perhaps since I am cowardly by nature, being brave seems like the most idealistic thing I can do. I can only be brave though when this spirit overtakes me. A spirit of gratitude and awe for everyone and everything that has gone before. We all have this spirit and you can see its presence marbled throughout history when over and over again people devote and sometimes sacrifice themselves to transform the world for the better. It’s beautiful.

And in you this spirit, this altruism, may take any form. You may become maternal and start baking everyone muffins. Maybe you give hand jobs while expecting nothing in return. Lock yourself in your tool shed until you invent a better pencil. Or perhaps just lie on your sofa and dream new dreams that will one day come true for all of us.


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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Uranus & Saturn- Progress & Regress

Some people are so dumb they think time always runs forward. But in astrology time is various forces running in an eternal circle. The passage of time could make you old. Or it could make you young. It all depends on whether Jupiter or Saturn is rising to power. We become old and young in alternation. Sometimes at the same time.

Some view success as an upward climb. But that is a circle too. What goes up comes down and then up again. Some people begin life in success and end in failure. For others the reverse. We become visible & then sink back into invisibility. Or vice versa.

Some believe society progresses over time- eternally advancing in technology and humanitarian values. This progress is the work of Uranus. But he too has an opposing force- Saturn- who is always dragging us backwards and returning us to the past. Traditional roles & primitive technologies. Like what is happening in Afghanistan with the takeover of the Taliban. This backwards pull happens everywhere eventually and is just as certain as the forward pull of Uranus.

Right now, for example, Uranus is passing through Taurus– the sign of money. Crypto technology is moving forward in leaps & bounds. The financial institutions of today will soon be obsolete as power is once again democratized and returned to the people. The central overlords of money fall down & it becomes a simple matter for a poor person to get a small loan. (Btw- you should buy crypto yourself & hopefully stake with my AKLEI cardano pool!)

Meanwhile, Saturn is passing through Aquarius– the sign of social networks. At least for me, I am going backwards in terms of how I connect. The increasing censorship of big tech & social media sites like facebook had made this necessary since all my friends now rotate in and out of facebook jail on a regular basis. They have started censoring private messages as well.

So, I am trying to build up my interactive skills in other ways- learning how to use snail mail, learning how to use a phone & text, learning how to meet people in person or use email, all more old fashioned ways of connecting that don’t give you the reach of social media but do lead to more personal- and hence more solid, lasting & heavy relationships- something Saturn values.

We move forward into the future and we return to what was. One aspect of life may be progressing while another is regressing. Both movements have value.

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia men Writings

James’s Slut Transit (Pluto opposite Venus)

One cool thing about astrology is you get so caught up in the symbolism that by the time you catch your husband in bed with a dwarf you are practically happy about it.

Oh my god- this is perfect! The dwarf had red hair! They were doing anal!! Can you think of anything better for Uranus in Aries?!?

The past year or so James (husband) has been having a transit which is supposed to make men irrationally attracted to skanky hoes who express something of their own repressed sexuality.

Since I had been majorly shook by a number of transits in the past 10 years, I wasn’t in the mood for the stars to defeat me again. I decided to take the bull by the horns and announce that he was entering a slut transit on facebook. (Sometimes I imagine that telling enough people about something BEFORE it happens will magically keep it from occurring.) And every day since then, I’ve asked him “So have you felt attracted to any skanks yet? Any nasty hoes caught your eye?” Occasionally I will drop a reminder that anyone he likes during this time probably has a cocktail of STDs as well, which is true. (Unless they have a prison record or are a geologist.)

And so far, I have not sensed any attraction to cumdumpsters. This transit (Pluto opposite Venus) has to work through the unconscious. If the idea of sexual obsession with Jezebels is put into the forefront of his mind and linked to a transit, it makes it harder for the dark magic to occur.

So yay, I outsmarted the stars.

Still it’s almost hard not to feel disappointed that the transit didn’t go as planned. All his other transits- in which I did not interfere- were textbook. But this time I prepared myself, made public announcements and now he is basically standing me up at the altar. I had mentally set aside a couple years of life to wage this war on skanks and now there are no skanks in sight. Never a quitter, I eventually started encouraging him. Why don’t you friend some skanks on facebook? Maybe you’d enjoy a trip to the gentlemen’s club? But no. Being a slut because your wife wants you to isn’t Pluto’s way. The taboo is what arouses him. He wants to defy people’s expectations to show them- and himself- that he can’t be controlled. He wants to do something which will make others hate him or cause him to hate himself.

But why, Pluto, why?

For starters, Pluto is the planet of intensity. Sometimes we cut off so much from our darker self that we just start to feel less alive. Sometimes a journey to the dark side is just what it takes to tap into deeper wells of life and emotion. Feeling negative emotions can be preferable to feeling nothing at all.

Secondly, Pluto goes dark to gain power. Nice guys finish last. Pluto crosses lines other people aren’t willing to cross and reaps the rewards. During Pluto transits he challenges us to question our own boundaries. Are we willing to sacrifice one pound of goodness to gain 5 pounds of power? Are we willing to push our neighbor in front of a train to save a bus full of children? Many times, during Pluto transits, we realize we are.

Thirdly, Pluto does bad things to create boundaries. To show himself (and sometimes others) that he can’t be controlled. That there are no rules for him and only his own will reigns supreme.

Lastly, Pluto trespasses to expand his mind. On one level, Pluto is really about the ability to have our own mind which can function independently from the group. People with pronounced Pluto in their chart frequently seem normal on the surface, but deep in their mind is a sort of existential autonomy that the average person lacks. They see life through their own eyes and don’t need social support to trust their own perceptions. So during Pluto transits we want to question the rules we have previously taken for granted. We want to gain psychic & psychological freedom.

* * *

Basically, Pluto is our reptilian mind. It likes to operate in darkness, secretly controlling our behavior while our conscious mind is busy attributing shinier motives to ourselves. Pluto shrinks away when the light is shining directly on him. He does not want the whole world watching him, waiting for him to get an astrologically sanctioned boner.

Still, I have read enough Greek myths to know what happens to those who brag about outsmarting the fates. And there is still a year left of this transit to go. So we’ll see what happens. Maybe whores will end up having the last laugh. Just like they always do.



Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Hi Again

(Warning- slight reference to astrology. Does this bother people who know nothing about astrology? Personally, I never mind a few indigestible references, but I don’t know if others- especially men- feel the same.)

I haven’t been able to express anything in a while. I’ve written about 50 blog posts but have not been able to publish any of them due to this feeling that everything I say is completely pointless. So, I thought maybe I would take some time off to become more presidential & then go back to expressing myself.

Last night though I realized this reluctance to speak wasn’t about a true desire to resemble Nixon but rather a clamming up in response to a recent spike of low level enemies. For starters, Mars Bringer of War had been moving through my House of Relationships and when this happens you tend to experience death by a thousand cuts. Minor hostility directed at you from multiple directions. No single event worth crying over and yet the sum leaves you feeling demoralized, as though no good people exist. And as I’ve said before, faith in people, the dream that good people exist, is the force that pulls the words out of your mouth. Without that the words stay stuck inside.

Also, Pluto has been sextiling my sun. When Pluto sextiles* a planet, it basically releases a stream of mini enemies in that planet’s direction. These minis teach you how to fight & stand up for yourself so when the biggie transits happen, you are be ready.

Plutonic enemies are different from Martian ones. Martians attack fast and furious, shooting you in the knees, elbows, wherever. Plutonic enemies study you to find your kill spots. Then they execute the most subtle blow necessary to inflict true damage while appearing not to do anything at all. They do not want to be seen covered in blood and guts. They want to be seen as your friend. An understanding of your insecurities is essential to them. So you could see why the presence of Plutonic enemies would make you uninclined to blog about your inner self. They make you want to close off. Obscure. Misdirect.

And they were attacking me in a different way from usual. Normally, the attacks I get are “You’re dumb. You’re dumb. You’re dumb.” Recently it has been people sending me messages about how I’m a horrible singer, criticizing my videos, my blog, saying I’m a bad wife & leaving weird stuff on my doorstep. And other stuff which I can’t go into without seeming paranoid. That is the weird paradox of life- that you have to lie to seem truthful & if you try to be truthful you seem like a liar.

So anyway, like I said, the sextile releases baby enemies. What are baby enemies? They are enemies who you clearly have the power to defeat. The trick is, you might convince yourself they are too small to be worth defeating. You are a big boy. You can shrug it off. But this is big boy’s big mistake. When something is small, that may be the only chance you have to squash it. Once problems get bigger than you are, your chance of success goes down considerably.

So I prefer to over-analyze the heck out of the tiniest of things. It is probably natural for women to do this, though we are sometimes mocked for it. But if people understand how the female mind works they will realize we are humanity’s first line of defense. Your current problems would probably not exist had you listened to your wife. Once the problems do become full grown gorillas then women tend to take a step back and let men do their thing.

***

While I was busy not expressing myself, I did have the chance to go on a learning spree. But let me say here that I am not a huge advocate of learning. I think people are too obsessed with it and overlook more important mental activities like thinking. Still, I do consider myself 15% scholar and like to learn the life stories of those who came before. I like history. My only problem is that it focuses so much on politics and war. I want to know- I NEED to know- what people ate for breakfast. Were their hankerchiefs embroidered? With what kind of flower? Why that one? What perfume did they wear? Did they match their perfume to their hankerchief? These are my obsessions, the little details that cue me in to what was really going on in their minds, but it is hard to find that sort of info. Cause history trumps herstory, right? Once again we are encouraged to look at the big things and overlook the small ones.



* A sextile is basically the softest bump one planet gives another as it circles round your chart. To put it more technically, it is when the current position of a planet is 60 degrees away from the position of a planet in your birth chart, inside the ring of the zodiac.



Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia men Writings

First, An Apology to Men

Recently I have been writing a ton of blog posts but not publishing them. I have a lot to say but feel hung up about saying it.

In some cases, the things I want to share fall somewhat into the #metoo category. Although the excesses of #metoo (Believe Women. Believe the Victim.) are frightening, it is also hard to overstate the value of sharing true stories of victimization. There is simply no other way these processes can be understood and prevented.

We know this when it comes to wars and large scale atrocities. Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it. But the principle applies equally to the issue of predatory behavior in relationships, which- while less dramatic- causes just as much carnage in totality.

In astrology, the sun rules the government and husbands, while the populace and wives are ruled by the moon. With apologies to men, it seems accurate to say that governments and husbands are more likely to abuse power than the reverse. The people & wives have to be aware of this possibility to ensure safety. They need knowledge of what can happen, a clear sense of rights & boundaries so they can tell when these are being violated, and some form of power so they will have the possibility of fighting back if it comes to that.

Of course, the government also has to fear the population rising up against it. Likewise, women sometimes kill their husbands. But this most commonly happens as a response to tyranny (in the case of the government) and physical abuse (in the case of the husband). Conversely, men- who kill their wives far more frequently- generally do so in response to the woman trying to leave.

I know many men object to abuse being made into a gender issue and I understand the reasons for this. The fact is, some women are inclined to use false claims of victimization as a tool. I have known them. But the only reason this works is because it is believable. It is believable when you accuse a gorilla of tearing a sink out of the wall with its bare hands, less so for a cat. This is one of the risks of power. But pretending to not have power so that you can’t be falsely accused of abusing it is not the solution.

Lies breed lies and truth breeds truth. One facet of that truth is that women are more vulnerable in relationships. Men have more force and hardness built into the structure of their beings. They are less permeable. Marriage is like throwing a chunk of quartz and a chunk of calcite into the same pocket. If these differences are not accounted for, it is easy to predict which stone will get fucked.



P.S. I realize that when a person’s mind is far from root level concerns and focused on things like movies and restaurants, the power differential between genders and government overreach can both seem like the far-fetched concerns of the paranoid. Sure men CAN overpower women, but so what? We live in a post-physical power reality, right? Sure, governments HAVE killed their citizens, but like wasn’t that in the past?

A decade ago, my perspective on these issues was very different. I thought women could just as easily abuse men and there was no legitimate reason people needed guns. When you are focused on trying out new falafel recipes, it is easy to pretend these red levels of power don’t exist. But once you are forced to confront them, you see how these lower frequencies of life have actually been influencing your choices all along.