Category: Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Flags on the Rail

Ok… well, I suppose this is a song about the pirate Blackbeard.

I first heard this song (in my head) five years ago while walking along the banks of the Ohio River in Owensboro, KY. But the next day I returned to Louisville and was working in my garden when I heard another song (this one about flower fairies) set to the same melody. I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t want to write two songs with the same melody, because I dreaded the moment someone would say, “Hey, those songs have the same melody.” I was playing open mics around Kentucky, where the presumption was that you must suck, or else you wouldn’t be playing open mics, you would be dancing on a golden stage. So, I was feeling a little sensitive, and to avoid potential criticism, the Blackbeard song was buried and forgotten.

Until yesterday, when I heard it again, and decided to write it down, because if God can write multiple songs set to the same tune, then so can I.

So this is a song about Blackbeard. I have written a number of songs about people on boats, although I don’t know why. I have no interest in boats in real life. I also write a lot of songs about soldiers, and even gay love between soldiers, although once again I have no idea why.

But, I suppose the world of the unconscious is different from this world and the meaning of things aren’t the same. In this world, my favorite activity is shopping for scented soaps, but I will probably never write a song about that. Nor would I write a song about how much I appreciate special people in my life. That would be weird and nauseating, not to mention bad luck. Songs seem to come from a world that is upside down and backwards to this one. Their ways are not our ways.

Download MP3: Flags on the Rail

Tags Blackbeard, boats, gay love, Ohio river, open mics, Owensboro Kentucky, pirate, soldiers, symbols of the unconsciousness

Nashville Red, Soldiers, & Fire Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized

Made Love to My Father

Well, it looks like this is my final song! I have finally recorded and posted all the songs I have written so far. Phew. Now I am free to move on to something new… maybe I will grow my fingernails out into out long, golden talons studded with rhinestones and tiny teddy bears. Ah, that sounds like paradise!

I think this is a decent song for my grand finale, because… well, I remember when I wrote it, the sky was so so blue and the song unfolded page by page in my mind like a storybook, filling me with a sense of eternity. Which is to say, I have positive associations with it.

Also, this song captures a world I frequently try to capture in my songs– a place I call “Checkerboard World.” Checkerboard World is more or less the same as this world, except that everything seems slightly more luminous, more crisp and defined. Plus there is a giant checkerboard that covers the earth and one in the sky as well. The checkered squares in the grass are large- maybe 10 feet wide on average- but in the sky they are even larger, maybe up to a mile wide! But the size of the checkerboard grid varies from place to place, sometimes expanding, sometimes condensing. It all depends on how much space the space contains.

But don’t confuse Checkerboard World with heaven. This is not the land of golden angels. There are still thugs in their dark alleys and scoops of chocolate ice cream that topple onto new white shirts. But there may be something about the clarity and spaciousness of the place that makes it easier for people to recover completely from the bad things that do happen. And in Checkerboard World there is no time, meaning there is plenty of opportunity to sit and cry for as long as you need to. Well, technically time does exists, but only as a way of subdividing eternity, which stretches out around people in all directions (like a checkerboard). Even death is nothing but an opportunity to evaporate up to the giant checkerboard in the sky so you can pour down again like rain.

Download MP3: Made Love to My Father

Tags Checkerboard World, eternity, fingernails, golden angels, ice cream cones, made love to my father, teddy bears

Los Angeles Minerals, Mountains, Crystals, Ice, and White Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized

Messenger of God

The most important thing I learned in school:

Professor (to me): “What do a crystal and the sky have in common?”

Me (thinking I must have misheard him): “What?”

Professor: “I said, WHAT DO A CRYSTAL AND THE SKY HAVE IN COMMON?!?!”

Me: “Uh, what, um, I don’t know… maybe that they’re clear?”

Professor: “NO! THINK!! THINK!!! WHAT DO A CRYSTAL AND THE SKY HAVE IN COMMON?!?!?!?!?”

Me: “Uh.. uh… I guess they’re both maybe, um…”

Professor “HUMANS CAN’T LIVE IN THE SKY AND THEY CAN’T LIVE INSIDE OF A CRYSTAL, EITHER!!!”

Growing up in Kentucky, no one had ever pointed out the interesting fact that humans can neither live in the sky nor inside of a crystal, but once these words were spoken, I instantly recognized their truth. It is one of the few golden nuggets I collected from my four years at UVA, and hardly a day goes by when I don’t shout these words in my own ear.

What does that have to do with this song? Well, I suppose one theme that flows through a number of my songs is the feeling of being trapped in the sky and trying to come down to earth, or alternately, being trapped in a crystal and trying to break free. Perhaps, you could consider this a song about trying to find someone who will smash through the crystal and drag you down to earth.

Nude man by tiles and a window. — Someone like me, perhaps?

Download MP3: Messenger of God

Tags crystals, down to earth, golden nuggets, lost in the sky, messenger of god, sky, trapped in a crystal

Music & Songs New Hampshire Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Blue Bird

Post author By julien
Post date June 24, 2014
No Comments on Blue Bird

I like to think there is a part of our human brains that can understand the language of birds, even if we don’t realize it. Someday, I am sure humans and birds will communicate freely, and we will realize what a large role birds have always played in our world. After all, birds are the type of creatures that make it their business to know your business, and to spread the word far and wide. Their sphere of interest and influence surely extends far beyond their own species. I have witnessed birds acting on behalf of both rabbits and humans on many occasions.

P.S. Yesterday, James pointed out that sometimes my blog posts, such as the one yesterday, might seem to be minimizing my songs. Well, I thought about it and he’s kind of right. Normally, my blogs do tie in more to the superficial meanings of the songs rather than their deeper undercurrents, possibly making the songs seem a touch more whimsical and airy than they might actually be.

But the thing is, when I write a song, I write from my feelings, and when I write a blog post, I write from my brain, and it is almost as though they have two different personalities. My brain is my less developed and more external self who strives to protect me, and the last thing he wants to do is expose guts and vulnerabilities for all the world to see.

Download MP3: Blue Bird

Tags birds, blue bird, brain, feelings, guts, history, human affairs, language of birds, whimsy

Los Angeles Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized

Baby Blue

Post author By julien
Post date June 6, 2014
No Comments on Baby Blue

When I was living in L.A. I went through a phase where I only painted pictures of Jewish people (and I would always write into the painting that it was a painting of a Jewish person, to underscore the point). Why? I have no idea, but now that I am a more cautious and worldly person, it is hard for me to even say the word “Jew” for fear that someone will try to find antisemitism in it. But be that as it may, I ain’t gonna lie to you- I went through a phase where I obsessively painted Jewish people, and I don’t know why.

Download MP3: Baby Blue

Tags anti-semitism, baby blue, Jewish people, Jews, Judaism, paintings of Jews

Los Angeles Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Never Be Alone

I remember writing this song while walking home from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf in Los Angeles. Obviously, L.A. is more than just a giant brothel, but for whatever reason, it does seem like relationships there take on more unsavory notes than they do in other places. Maybe due to Hollywood’s influence, maybe due to the fault lines, or maybe from the desert-like climate causing some of people’s emotions to evaporate. Personally, I think it is the latter, especially for white people who have less defense from the sun’s rays.

I think this is also the reason for L.A.’s greater interest in all things spiritual- the uplifting impact of the sun, which makes you feel that everything is wonderful and all things are possible- combined with water-loss from the dry air, which removes the heavy, sticky and complicated feelings that are the enemy of most religions.

Download MP3: Never Be Alone

Tags brothels, feelings, Los Angeles, spirituality, sun, Water

Music & Songs New Hampshire Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Flags

Post author By julien
Post date December 16, 2013
No Comments on Flags

This song was inspired by the flags in Portsmouth NH, which seem to be kept at half-mast about 200 days a year. It seems strange to me- how do we decide which people and tragedies are worth lowering the flag for? I would probably never lower the flag, because it feels disrespectful to those who passed away on all the other days.

Download MP3: Flags

Tags flags, half-mast, New Hampshire, Portsmouth

Kentucky Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Razor Blade Fairy

I wrote this song when I met James. Could it have been inspired by him? I don’t know- but just in case, it had to have an unhappy ending. As we all know, songs are a little bit like Dorian Gray’s picture- they push the bad feelings out of our system and onto the other side of the looking glass. That is why it would be extremely foolhardy to write a song like “Oh honey, I love you so much, you are the best wife ever” unless you are hoping for a divorce. I’m not sure who Eric Clapton wrote the song “Wonderful Tonight” about, but with a song like that, you can bet they are no longer together.

On the other hand, the opposite superstition also exists- that you should only speak, think (and presumably) sing about positive things because positive words lead to positive outcomes! I tried to live with this philosophy for a while, but it was a lot of pressure, and I think it could lead to insanity if a person pursued it for too long. Every now and then, a musician comes out with an album that tries to be extremely positive and uplifting and I always take this as a sign that they are on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Download MP3: Razorblade Fairy

Tags Dorian Gray, Eric Clapton, looking glass, positive thoughts, Wonderful Tonight

Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Fancy and Soldier

In high school we read Walt Whitman’s poem, “Good-bye my Fancy”, and it struck a deep chord with me. In a way, I think of this song as being a similar story, but told from the perspective of the Fancy, rather than the man.

Good-bye my Fancy

Good-bye my Fancy!
Farewell dear mate, dear love!
I’m going away, I know not where,
Or to what fortune, or whether I may ever see you again,
So Good-bye my Fancy.
Now for my last–let me look back a moment;
The slower fainter ticking of the clock is in me,
Exit, nightfall, and soon the heart-thud stopping.
Long have we lived, joy’d, caress’d together;
Delightful!–now separation–Good-bye my Fancy.
Yet let me not be too hasty,
Long indeed have we lived, slept, filter’d, become really blended
into one;
Then if we die we die together, (yes, we’ll remain one,)
If we go anywhere we’ll go together to meet what happens,
May-be we’ll be better off and blither, and learn something,
May-be it is yourself now really ushering me to the true songs, (who
knows?)
May-be it is you the mortal knob really undoing, turning–so now finally,
Good-bye–and hail! my Fancy.

-Walt Whitman

Download MP3: Fancy and Soldier

Tags Fancy, Good-bye my Fancy, soldier, Walt Whitman

Minerals, Mountains, Crystals, Ice, and White Music & Songs Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies

Indian Friend

This song was inspired by Reinhold Messner’s “The Crystal Horizon,” a book about the first solo ascent up Mount Everest, but also, metaphorically, about the challenges a person can faces while trying to follow their own path and be true to themselves. The loneliness, guilt, and doubt, but also the exhilaration.

To me, crystals, mountains, and ice all represent that place of individuality and isolation… whereas valleys represent the warmth and comfort that comes from merging with others and following a more well-trodden path. But hopefully, when a person does come down into the valley, it will be to nourish and renew themselves, not to donate blood to a wandering mercenary.

Download MP3: Indian Friend

Tags crystals, ice, Indian Friend, mountains, Reinhold Messner, The Crystal Horizon