Categories
Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Dark Nonsense Overtaking Us

This past week it has felt impossible to detach from world events, as though a forcefield above my head was compelling me to pay attention & get involved. This has been interspersed with waves of tears. I hope current events are just a blip which soon blows over. But sometimes there is the panicked fear that things have gone too far and we can never go back. I don’t know which is real, but I believe people always have to fight for what is good, regardless. I doubt God likes surrender monkeys.

Perhaps most disturbing is the suppression of speech. So many people suddenly being removed from twitter, facebook & youtube. The President himself, random conservatives like Ron Paul, youtube channels which covered election fraud (nothing screams This Election Wasn’t Fraudulent like erasing all fraud related content). In fact I got removed from Facebook myself while writing this. It is just for 24 hours, but I won’t be surprised if a permanent ban is around the corner. They took down the entire platform of Parler which was dedicated to non-censorship. Can you believe this is our new reality? I can’t. And when I think about all the places it could lead it is hard not to cry. I guess I always took freedom of speech for granted. Now I find I am censoring myself even in private conversations- oh don’t use that violent metaphor- facebook might be reading this. Oh don’t use the color black as an adjective- they might think you are racist. Everything you say in private could be released publicly. Phrases which are socially acceptable when you use them could be dredged up years in the future to show you are a horrible person.

Do you ever try googling something then realize that all 100,000,000 articles which pop up are saying the exact same thing? Do you ever try to search for the other side of the coin and come up empty handed? Recently, I was googling to find out who killed Ashli Babbitt, for example, and all I could find were articles on what a bad person she was. She had road rage. She believed in conspiracies. It was her own damn fault some creepy guy wearing a suit & black gloves suddenly stepped out from around the corner to shoot her dead. Never mind that she was just doing what people have been doing all year. Never mind that she was unarmed & he gave her no warning, no chance to retreat. Never mind that there were three cops standing behind her, not trying to restrain her nor seeming particularly disturbed by her presence. That bitch deserved what she got. And if you don’t agree you are a nazi.

And what is a nazi? A skinhead? A German nationalist from the 1940s who wants to take over the world and eliminate Jews? No one knows. It is a word. Castro’s supporters called their enemies ‘worms.’ Speech has officially divorced physical reality. There are no truths or lies anymore, because most things have no specific meaning to begin with. You are a nazi! You are a white supremacist! You don’t believe in Science!!! You don’t believe in Climate Change!!! You don’t believe gender is assigned at birth!!! You don’t believe Experts!!! When you break them things down, none of these claims really have a concrete meaning, making it impossible to defend oneself against them. And also impossible to be sincere in claiming them.

And then we have the weird magic of believing words change reality. Pronouns change a person’s gender. Calling Ashli Babbitt a terrorist overrides the fact that she was entering unarmed into a building full of trained soldiers. Saying Trump was calling for violence overrides the fact that his final tweets (the ones which got him banned) were calling for peace & telling protesters to go home. Saying the word science makes something science. Science is no longer the study of the material world. It is a word on a rainbow flag, tattooed on the hearts of Believers. Call a person a white supremacist and they are one. In fact the only way to NOT be a white supremacist is to believe that we live in a white supremacy and attack others for their role in this.

Basically, nothing makes sense anymore. It is both rage-filled and nonsensical like a dark Alice in Wonderland, my least favorite book of all time. I have a soft gelatinous head and I hate it when people lie. It makes me feel all pretzeled up.

Another thing tying me in knots is that I still have an emotional attachment to people on the left. I grew up in a republican house & always idealized democrats as tender-hearted unicorn people. Now I see them scapegoating conservatives- as though to lay down justifications for future violence against them. (He was a nazi! She was a white supremacist!). And I don’t know how to process this. These are people I have LIKED. In some cases, a LOT. And now they are casting me and others I care for in a subhuman light, reality be damned. I want to believe it is a spell they are under and soon they will wake up. I just wish I could understand it and make some sense of it in my mind. I thought they used to be nice normal people. What happened? When and how did they decide they are surrounded by nazis and white supremacists whom they must defeat? If I could just understand and make some sense of my reality I would feel a lot better. Then I would know if I need to cut them out of my heart for good or just wait for the spell to break.

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Politics Writings Yellow, Gold, Kings, Fathers, and the Sun

The Yellows

Political conflict in America tends to happen between two groups- the Reds & the Yellows. Presently, the Reds are more or less aligned with the Republicans and the Yellows  with the Democrats.

I am going to discuss Yellows first, because they are currently on the offensive, attempting to brand Reds as racist, hateful, and ignorant, and in some cases going so far as to ostracize them from social groups.

Astrologically, the Yellows may be agitated by to Pluto’s voyage through the sign of Capricorn. Pluto represents lust for power and Capricorn our desire to be someone of importance in society. This transit intensifies the desire for prestige and social position, urges which are key to a Yellow’s psychology.

Yellows feel confident in their physical survival and tend to take it for granted. Unlike Reds, they do not worry that they will die of starvation or freeze to death in the cold. They don’t care about gun rights, for example, because they can’t easily imagine a time when they would be fighting for their lives.

Yellows’ drama revolves around their need to feel successful and respected. However- viewing life through a mental/social lens and frequently lacking connection to the physical and spiritual worlds- Yellows tend to harbor so many judgments about what it means to be a person of value, that it can be difficult for them to live up to their own standards. And that is where the problems begin.

Ideally, when a person feels like a loser they could take the opportunity to re-evaluate their own ideas. What does it mean to be a loser? What yardsticks am I using to measure success? Are these truly valid? But Yellows are unlikely to do this, since they are typically surrounded by people who share their ideas, making it difficult to step back and reevaluate .

The reason they tend to be surrounded by like-minded people is, of course, because they judge those with different values so harshly that they cannot easily associate with them, much less forge a deep bond. Although Yellows tend to be bright on a mental level, this mental light frequently blocks other levels of consciousness that run on darkness, giving them less access to imagination, spirituality, and the ability to change perspectives at will. They are mentally locked in to one view of life.

So, being unable to easily rearrange the contents of their own mind, when a Yellow feels blocked in their ability to achieve social status and validation, they begin to sublimate.

A first step of sublimation is when they cease to judge themselves by the success they have achieved, and instead pride themselves on their knowledge. Being mental, knowledge is an easy thing to devote themselves to.

Yellows are the ones to seek Phd’s with no obvious application. Maybe they would fail at running a business, but who can stop them from becoming an expert on George Washington? Who can stop them from obsessively following the news and then considering ignorant those who can’t place Syria on a map? Who can stop them from learning a second language and talking in a haughty tone about the importance of being multi-lingual?

This, of course, backfires when they become so terrified of looking stupid that it retards their ability to learn. The desire to seem smart, ironically, causes a person to become increasing stupid. The desire to seem knowledgeable causes a person to pick up less information from the world around them.

In another, more extreme form of sublimation, the Yellow may detach from the color Yellow altogether and try to become a Gold- a saintly, altruistic person who desires to save the world. This allows them to decide that personal success is, in fact, a superficial goal in the face of all the world’s suffering, and gives them a graceful way to exit the rat race without admitting defeat. For it is the rat race itself which is the problem- they tell themselves- and now they are part of the solution.

As a bonus, once Gold, they can occupy their minds with “those less fortunate” and those whom they see as beneath them. While those who- by their own standards- are superior to them are turned into villains, rather than painful reminders of their own suppressed desires.

For even when a Yellow goes Gold, that old yellow pain is still inside them. If they were competing in the rat race, at least the pain could spur them on towards better performance, but now that they have dropped out, the pain must be released in other ways.

So, even while ostensibly trying to change the world, the lion’s share of their energy will go towards disparaging those who are not doing their part. They cannot help but feel rage towards those who are murdering whales and enslaving orphans as they take another bite of their whale meat sandwich and check news reports from a phone made in a child slave shop.

Because, in essence, Yellows have a competitive, hierarchical view of life. They want to be better and more important than others, but- especially once they go gold- they can no longer admit this since it would be a moral flaw, and what’s worse, force them to deal with their own pain rather than turning it into hatred.

Communism and socialism are appealing to desperate Yellows (though less appealing to Yellows who feel they are “winning”- a group I have not touched on in this post). Communism demonizes the rich and successful. It turns them from objects of envy into hated villains. In addition, it promises the ultimate escape from the painful rat race- by abolishing the game altogether. Yellows would feel less conflicted leaving the rat race behind if everyone else was forced to leave it as well.

Of course, even in communism, Yellows would seek a way to feel superior to those around them. But perhaps they could accomplish this more easily once the most powerful all have a hand tied behind their back.

So, what is the solution for Yellows? How can they escape their own internal hell without dragging the rest of us into it?

If Yellows could form relationships with those who don’t share their values- i.e. people from other cultures- this could go a long way towards loosening the grip that their own prejudices have on them.

Perhaps this is why Yellows frequently idealize travel. Sourcing information primarily from the human world, they may need to be surrounded by different sorts of minds in order to step outside of their own.

Of course, travelling to faraway lands is not always practical. Ideally, Yellows could simply associate with those nearby who are unlike themselves, those who think differently. But this they will find more challenging. Faraway people are not competition, not much of a threat, and thus it is easier to see the good in them.

A related skill that would benefit Yellows is learning to suspend judgment. Can you set aside your judgments, your values, for brief periods of time, just long enough to enter the imagination of another person and see the world through their eyes?

Yellows are frequently so caught up in evaluating the world that their imagination becomes stunted. They don’t realize that life takes on completely different patterns- like a kaleidoscope- when seen through different eyes. Truths that are towering from one frame are no longer visible from another.

But if Yellows could practice this purple skill of changing their point of view at will, it could begin to loosen the knots in their stomach. Perhaps this is why Yellows are frequently a fan of drugs, because drugs give them relief from an overly fixed view of reality and help them to move into their third eye.

Above all, though, Yellows need to change how they define success. They need to realize that success is what you give to the world, not what the world gives to you. If others admire and respect you- that is their doing and possibly a credit to them- but no credit to you. You get credit for the light you emit, but not for the light that is shined on you.

Yellows tend to get caught up in striving to catch a glorious reflection of themselves in someone else’s eyes. Their fundamental need is self-esteem. But you can never gain self-esteem that way. I have come to believe that self-esteem is actually a  simple thing which hinges on one factor- work.

When a person focuses on doing whatever work they feel called to do- and the work itself becomes their goal- a source of light begins to build up from within. You see your own value made manifest around you- the cars you have fixed, the children you have raised- whatever it is you are doing.  You see in concrete form your own value and therefore naturally begin to lose the need for your value to be affirmed by others. It is already self-evident.

And luckily, this places self-esteem under our own control. To achieve a place of honor in society is difficult, may require sacrificing parts of our identity, and hinges on many factors outside of our control. But doing good work, and taking pride in it, is a universal cure available to everyone. Like sunshine.