(click song title to listen)
Hold it together & fight through the mud
You will find him there.
Close your eyes tightly the fingers you feel
A spider through your hair.
Hands on my head will you steady me, steady me
There’s too much I’ve seen.
I only thought things would be wonderful
I didn’t know he could be mean.
I loved a dream.
I loved a dream.
Hands on my head could you steady me, steady me
Show me who I am.
Winds on my mind they are blowing me, blowing me
Blowing me round in circles again.
Sometimes I feel like I could do so many things
Running fast & far.
Finding myself in another place, other place
Who took me here? Who drove the car?
I loved a dream.
I loved a dream.
Hands on my head could you steady me, steady me
Guide me through the dark?
Keep touching me til I’m ready so ready then
Let my mind restart.
Scanning my eyes through another town other town
Always gray and blue
Searching again for the boldest man, oldest man
He will be you.
Forces of air are you trying to speak to me
Why do you blow on my mind?
Help me to be just one person, the same person
All of the time.
I loved a dream.
I loved a dream.
Tell me that you like my hat, walking through the garden path, filtered sun
Flowers sway in golden heat, smiling every time we meet, like we are one
But I know that you’re hard
And I know that you’re full of rain
And the ones you discard
I know they never walk again
Then I see you driving by, almost shy, black man against the sky, and my throat begins to shrink
Though everybody says you’re fine, benign, always smiling all the time, till I don’t know what to think
You gotta learn how to die
So why not look in your eyes
Polishing the silver bright, sparkle in the evening light, catch a smile
Hear a knock upon my door,should I answer it before you go wild
Cause I know you’ve been hard
And I know you’ve been full of rain
Standing there in my yard
Your eyes are soft and wandering
But then you catch me by surprise, oversize, black lightning from your eyes and I tell myself to run
But instead I turn and smile, denial, conversate with you a while till it starts to feel like fun
I know that everyone dies
So why not look in your eyes
Life is like an angry man, best to follow his command, don’t run and hide
See you standing hesitantly, why not have a cup of tea, come inside
Though I know that you’re hard
and I know that you’re full of rain
Still it lowers my guard
to see your brown hands trembling
But then you get me on the ground, hold me down, black spirits all around, till I don’t know what will break
And I try to spin my mind through a rhyme to another place in time, till my brain begins to shake
And then you say let’s have some fun, sticky bun, and you’re reaching for your gun, but I cannot feel your weight
Cause in my mind I’m out the door, zombie whore, shopping at the grocery store till you break my crazy eight.
Long stick, long legs
Follow me through dark space
Trees of green and underfoot
Plants that eat the midnight dirt.
Follow me; never lag
Long legs, dark path
Twist, turn up the hill
Moonlight hovers around us still.
Hands on my head; spirits are falling
Wind in my ears; voices are calling
These are the ties that bind-
Making it hard to rise.
Take my gift; open it up
Cradled in your hands a cup
Drink the blood; let it fill you
Rubies, nothing can kill you now.
Raise your arms, the sun will fall
Black cape fills with stars
Black man howls and moans
Vibrating your bones.
Hands on my head; spirits are falling
Wind in my ears; voices are calling
These are the ties that bind-
Making it hard to rise.
Black flag flying higher
Stars fill the sky with fire
Blind fold, life’s a dream
Welcome to the new regime.
Stars rise, stars fall
I am animal.
Watch me crawl, watch me leap
Down on my belly I creep.
Step by step, oh what joy!
Feet crush, feet destroy
You shake with alarm
I touch your soft arm.
Hands on my head; spirits are falling
Wind in my ears; voices are calling
These are the ties that bind-
Making it hard to rise.
Hey mister where you go? I was waiting too?
Laying all my things around for you.
Stars shining in the night if they only knew
Waiting like I said I’d wait for you.
And its hard to be that strong
When I was waiting there for you for so long.
And its hard to live that low
When I was waiting there for you to go.
Big man walks the night alone, I was walking too.
I was walking til I find the the line to you.
Yes he walked beside me then, for a while it’s true
Tell me comfort til I found the round to you.
Cause it’s hard to live that low
But there is nowhere in the dark where you can just go.
And its hard to hear that song
The one I sang inside my head to you for so long.
I prayed you’d walk before me
Mountains that fall before me
I never knew the way that things would change.
Take my hand before the star rise, pull the cotton away from my eyes
I wait for you to come and bring the change.
Stars shining in the night I’ll be waiting too.
Waiting like I said I wait for you.
Soft breeze blow upon me now tremble in the dew
I just stood there like I said I’d stand for you.
And it’s hard we live so long
Always dreaming of a man whose so strong.
And its hard, the things we know
When there’s no place in the world where you can just go.
The hill was high, I couldn’t climb
though I knew you were there.
A world of green surrounded me
it stretched out everywhere.
So I got back in my car and drove
to try and find a home.
I thought of you, the whole way through
it made me feel alone.
I thought of you and of the field
with the hill that was so high.
A temple built to something
that lives only in the sky
Everything is always high
and always far away.
I tell myself I must never stop and
I will get there someday.
Many gods and many men
have lived upon a crest.
Though the clouds pass over all of them
it is you I like the best.
All these hills and all these gods
and each man has his own.
Except for me, a tiny breeze
still searching for a home.
A tiny breeze who when she flies
is cut down by the winds.
They slice my heart and splay it
like a butterfly and then
Ten I can scale these hills, but even so
my shadow looms so small
that to you it was just the same as though
I was never there at all.
Big men shadow over me
there is no other way
than to watch them with admiring eyes
through a film of gray.
For me there can be no other way for me
than to lie back on the ground
and to let the dreams wash over me
until a home is found.
A home that could be anywhere,
a home so hard to find.
Oh God, but please let it be somewhere real
not somewhere in my mind.
Someplace real, someplace strong
mountainous and grave
nothing flimsy like a butterfly
with her wings upon your leg.
Everyone has gods upon
these hills where claddows* fly.
Except for me, I have only you
and only in my mind.
I reached for you, but there was no use
the world was large and green.
It stretched out wide and endlessly
like the sky within a dream.
And who am I, but a dot so small
that no one else could see
as you passed me by invisibly
your shadow touching me?
As you passed me by just like a plant
pressed flat upon the ground
just a thing too small to be cared about
when hills are all around.
Home is the hand of a friend
On an arm pale and thin
Reaching out from the door
Where he welcomes you in
And you sit by the fire
Drinking coffee with pie
And some sandwiches perched
On a stack of old books
So you tell him your story
All the bad things you’ve done
Friendships lost, friendships won,
till the past wells up clear, like a tear in your eye.
But this man is your friend
He approves of your choice
He says yes yes yes yes to you
in his whispery voice.
Life is a climb up a hill
where the green grasses thrill
And so you climb the full height
To a peak so cold and white
And then you’ve got to come down
So you take a look around
But there’s no place to go.
They’ve forgotten you now.
So you munch your last sandwich
through tears of self-recrimination
It’s your fault, you caused the whole situation.
Still the sky is your friend, he approves of your choice
He says yes yes yes to you in his cottony voice.
Sleep is a rose-colored dream
Filled with strawberry cream
As you cuddle inside
a bed of marshmallow white.
But there’s things you should do
Still its so hard to move
And the clock’s started pointing
It’s angry fingers at you.
And your certain that life
is waiting somewhere outside
Something big, something wide
Still you abandon it all
just to stay curled up tight
and so warm in a ball.
But your heart is your friend, he approves of your choice
He says yes yes yes to you in his pink & white voice.
bandanna fills with resentment
sun flies so high
always pushing your plow before you
too long a line
one day you’ll even the score
your pain will die
but first, no more hunger and thirst
till then, you cry
blue ocean flowing so endless
so moist and wild
bobbing outwards in your little canoe
the brains of a child
no one will ever command you
your head so high
but first, no more hunger and thirst
till then, you’ll try
five black bars cover your window
your piece of sky
tattoos sprinkled over your chest
a painful sigh
the black blood enters your brain
you wonder why
why first you feel hunger and thirst
and then you die
Smile, smile, smile, smile
Sin, sin, sin
You were born the king of our town
I will bow, I will bend.
Two, two, two stars collide
Please stay warm upon your throne now
I will run I will hide.
Ladies in silk
Wanting to adore you
Laughing at your jokes
Kneeling on the floor for you
Look at your life, a page of fantasy.
So please, don’t hunt for me.
Dad knows best
Watch me kneel down and beg for forgiveness
Watch me stand up to the world and confess.
Gold and lace
Everything I have will be piled at your feet
Please don’t chase, please don’t chase.
Look at me crawl
Scratching at the dirt now
Look at me fall
Ripping up my shirt now
Rolling in mud, pig for all to see.
So please, don’t hunt for me.
Run so far you always follow me
Shadows so dark they always swallow me
I can make sure that no one ever loves me
I can make sure everyone’s above me
Run so far but tripping on the black lines
I can hear you say I’m running out of time
You knew it was all a big lie
Licking on your lips, because you love to watch things die.
Please no blade
No dogs die, please no rabbits,
Just humiliate, please humiliate.
Your smile is warm
Only sun, only summer
Please no storm, please no storm.
You can take some snips; I won’t try to mend me
I will tell the people never to defend me
I will tear myself apart for all to see.
So please, don’t hunt for me.