Tag: astrology

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Improve Yo Mercury

One feature of my new life is how complex everything is. At least compared to when I was married.

I’m having the transit uranus opposite mercury. A time when your mercury gets shook up and taken into overdrive. Stressful as it is, I can’t deny that it’s giving me a new lease on life.

Mercury is the planet that rules communication, transportation & the ability to navigate our environment. It gives us mental sharpness, physical agility & the ability to multi-task. To wear many hats. To dance like a monkey while solving math problems, to dodge traffic while counting change & to talk on the phone with our boss while making a baby smile. It’s a VERY important planet.

Mercury itself does not have goals. It navigates what is thrown at us and explores what is around us. It is pure ability. It is light, quick moving energy that staves off depression & moodiness. It is an alert curiosity that makes life fun and bubbly.

If our Mercury is strong though, whatever goals we do set can be achieved. Because we are versatile, flexible, energized & competent. If our Mercury is weak, we are thick as a brick & our dreams go unrealized.

Sometimes though, we design our lives in such a ways that our mercury gets fat & dull. Cause we are constantly trying to make life easier, more streamlined and convenient. We hire someone to do our laundry, rather than hiring someone to throw pancakes at us while we do our laundry. This has to stop. The chaotic annoyances of life actually are the bubbles & our opportunity to develop a bright & buoyant personality.

A lot of it comes down to no longer begrudging chaotic difficulties but embracing them. They put the sizzle in life and can really fill you with glee when you take them in the right spirit. Imaging getting attacked by a rooster while running to catch the train… couldn’t that be fun?

If you have any of the following issues, you may want to take a month to whip your mercury into shape by making your daily life more challenging…

1. You are dumb.
2. There is no pep in your step, your swagger lacks ginger.
3. You have goals but are too lazy, dumb or incompetent to achieve them.
4. You are a depressed moody blob.
5. You are afraid to leave the house.
6. You feel your life would be better if your brain fired faster.

Mercury is about breadth, not depth. Multi-tasking, not single mindedness. Jack of all trades. Once any skill becomes familiar enough to do it on automatic, it no longer energizes your Mercury. To build Mercury, step outside your skill set to gain new rudimentary skills that are foreign to you. You need to put yourself in new situations or two situations at once.

The housewife must gain computer skills, the hacker must chop trees, the meathead must read a book, and the scholar must jerk off in the street before zooming away on his motorbike. This is how Mercury works. Breadth not depth. Jack of all trades. Keep repeating those words to yourself.

If you wish to fizzle this sizzle, here are some mercury building tips…

  1. Change your mode of transportation. If you drive, try walking, biking, bussing or hitchhiking. It’s best if you sell your car, so you can’t revert to it when these other transportation methods are inconvenient. Cause it’s when they are inconvenient or even disastrous that they feed your Mercury the most.
  2. Talk to new people. Everyone you encounter. Make sure you aren’t being selective because its especially important to talk to those who are invisible to you or outside your comfort zone. Do you see all those faceless, soulless bodies moving through the world? Take a minute to say hi to each one of them. Even babies and animals.
  3. Fix things. Mercury rules puzzles & problem solving, so when things break down in your environment try to repair them yourself. Especially if this is something you would not normally do.
  4. Multitask. Multitasking gets a bad rep just because it isn’t conducive to depth & focus but those aren’t the only games in town! Give two handjobs at once. Put on your makeup while dodging traffic. Make it through your to-do list two tasks at a time. Juggling many tasks at once perks up your brain especially when done in a spirit of fun.
  5. Get a part time job that is unlike what you would normally do.
  6. Get a dog. Slippers has definitely made my single life more complex. Walking her while carrying home my groceries and trying to figure out how to pick up the turd she dropped while the neighbor yells at me and Slippers tries to pull me into traffic. Taking her with me on dates & hoping the man won’t notice. She brings a Mercury challenge with her everywhere she goes.
  7. New Environments. You know that sinking feeling when you enter a social situation where you *really* don’t feel comfortable? For mega-Mercury, keep placing yourself in strange, uncomfortable environments until social discomfort loses its sting. Go places too stuffy, wealthy & formal. Places too rowdy & redneck. Young places, old places. Gyms, libraries, bars and dance clubs. Black churches, white churches, gay bars & strip clubs. Keep doing this until the sting of social discomfort loses its sting.
  8. Change up your technology. If you rely on technology, try living like you are in the 1800s or at least 1984. If you are a technophobe, go high tech in all areas of your life.
  9. Sports. Mercury is equally about mental & physical agility. So if you are more mental- like many people in our culture- find a sport to get involved with. Especially one involving complexity and agility, like soccer or tennis.
  10. Poverty. Mercury is all about invention & as you know necessity is its mother. If you are already super poor, embrace the challenge of finding work arounds for things which normally require money as well as finding new ways to make money. If you aren’t poor, try living off a dollar a day for a month to force yourself to be innovative.
  11. Communication. Change your methods, patterns & people. If you never talk on the phone, start calling new people daily. Visit people in person. Send snail mail. Video call. Meet up for coffee. The more diverse people you talk to in the more diverse ways the stronger Mercury becomes.


Thank you for reading my blog post on how to strengthen Mercury. This is the end. Please try my suggestions and tell me if you end up feeling bubbly as I do!


Below is a little video I made about the transit Uranus opposite Mercury. I’m partially making these videos to strengthen my own Mercury since it is a novel approach to communication for me.





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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia My Life Story On My Own Writings

A Blood Pact

I’ve decided that- as an experiment- I will make a few pacts with myself for the next couple years. These pacts have one shared purpose- to not abandon myself for a man.

  1. Unless I find someone who is absolutely devoted to me, I will not be committed to anyone. This means- barring a man who wants to marry me, take a bullet for me, give me all his money & live with me in the afterlife- I am not going to be anyone’s girlfriend.

    What is the point in being a girlfriend? It’s not a commitment. It just means you belong to someone until they dump you. If it is some kind of test run for marriage then okay. But otherwise, being someone’s temporary whore seems ridiculous. It gives you the feeling of having someone when really you don’t.
  2. This isn’t a pact but just a strong suggestion to myself to avoid having sex. Men call sex “fun” but that is gross to me. Maybe it would be “fun” to set your house on fire but you don’t do it because the consequences are severe.

    Sex is a magic spell that holds women in thrall. Christians talk about submission as a moral attainment. When really submission is a state that occurs naturally when you have sex with someone. Sex awakens powerful instincts of trust & devotion that may not be merited by this person. A man has to love you A LOT and be a very good person for this to be a wise course of action. The problem is… if he is trying to have sex with you that is exactly the sort of person he will appear to be.

    It’s the sex paradox… his true character will only come out AFTER you’ve had sex but by then you will be too attached to leave him anyway.
  3. This is the most important part. I am going to attempt to freely express myself. In my astrology chart, it is expressing myself- about things that are secret, magical, emotional or even (gasp!) sexual- with no regard for how others will take it- that moves me towards my destiny. I want to try moving towards my destiny for a couple years.

    The main thing that keeps me silent are men. I feel like their testicles are these little eggs and one wrong word from me will shatter them. Then I deserve what happens next. I feel so guilty when I fear I may have disrespected them that I begin to punish myself.

    But I gotta let myself off that hook for just two years- as an experiment- and say its okay if I’m disrespectful. It’s okay if I say something men don’t like. My zodiac chart indicates that I must avoid at all costs becoming an unctuous servant. I need to speak and sing and let the chips fall where they may.

    For two years I can try to see what happens if I place true expression above pleasing people. Thinking of this fills me with fear but that’s why I’ve begun collecting red stones.

    Perhaps no one can love you anyway if you aren’t being yourself. If someone loves you because you are down on your knees kissing them is that love or something else?

    But philosophical considerations aside, in real life, my abandonment panic controls me, overwhelming all reasonable considerations. I’m a love addict basically. I stop having needs cause men don’t like those. I stop talking cause the brains of men are easily taxed.

    And I enjoy being a clear blob to a large extent because it allows me to absorb the flavor of the other person. The problem is a point inevitably arrives when something VERY IMPORTANT must be expressed or asked for. A boundary must at last be set or things begin spinning in the wrong direction And then I find myself frozen. Unable to express it. And even when I do manage to, the person rarely honors it cause why would they? If they wanted someone with expectations they wouldn’t have chosen me to begin with. Being nothing is my selling point.

    That’s why for two years I am going to take a risk & follow the destiny outlined in my zodiac chart. To place the focus on expressing myself and let the chips with people fall where they may.

    It is extra challenging because I feel so insecure in terms of survival. I might be homeless soon. I spend about 4 hours a day crying. I apply to jobs every day but my resume is just a blank sheet of paper. This seems like the time to suck dick if ever there was one.

    But the idea in astrology is that under stress people tend to run in the wrong direction. So for me, the less sure I feel of survival, the more I focus on being polite & servile. When really I should do the opposite- become bolder & more expressive because that is where my luck lies.

    As an experiment I want to try placing my faith in this idea for two years to see if it actually works!

    And by the way- if you got some money- I can tell you where your destiny lies too! Contact me at [email protected]!

Playing a gig with Slippers at a bookstore. Look how happy she is! Sometimes I feel like an absolute loser because I have not yet increased my income nearly enough & am facing utter ruin. On the other hand, a couple years ago I would have been terrified to walk into a bookstore. Now I carried all my equipment there on my back while walking Slippers, set up and played without even really feeling nervous. So at least I have grown a lot even tho its not yet reflected in my bank account.

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

My Question

One thing I think about a lot is how to combat various influences in your life.

Some transits, for example, will bring in a lot of dark energy. Others aggressive red energy. Others uplifting delusions that lead to your doom. What is the best way of handling this?

In theory, you could harness this energy for a successful outcome. Use the red energy to become a fireman. The dark energy to become a detective. But what about when the energy is coming from outside sources…. someone is screaming at you, someone is trying to murder you? Will becoming a fireman really help?

Let’s say for example, you are having a Mars transit causing clash and conflict in relationships. In my experience, if you try to become more assertive at this time it will blow up in your face. You are cranking up the heat on a situation that is already too hot.

Same as trying to become more spiritual under a Neptune influence. You are already too deluded. If you try to become more spiritual you just end up in white robes with a dick in your mouth. You could even go insane.

I’ve experienced this a lot with dark Pluto transits. I’ll tell myself maybe Pluto is fucking with me because I’m not black enough. This line of thought stems from when I lived in New England. They really hated fire there and yet their houses were always burning down. So I assumed fire was getting revenge on them for not embracing it. But maybe I was wrong & the houses were just burning due to being hundreds of years old or people needing insurance money.

But regardless, this led me to try adding black energy when Pluto got too scary in the hopes this would pacify him. Which always led to disaster. Violence, injuries, being scapegoated & generally ass raped which is Pluto’s signature move. Things got scarier. No matter how much I liked the idea in theory it didn’t work in practice.

Applying opposite energies seems to work better. You can cut down on anger & aggression during Mars transits if you stick to colors like blue and green, while avoiding red hots at all costs. But sometimes this gives me a little bit of FOMO. Sure, I am dodging a bullet but am I also missing a once in a lifetime chance to become a fireman?

I don’t know. Some people think air conditioning is an appropriate response to hot & humid summers while others think it is better to eat chile peppers & bake in the sun to acclimate yourself. Who is right & who is wrong? I worry about this every day.

But one thing is sure. In a crisis, when suffering from heat stroke, AC, shade & water are better than building a bonfire. At least until the immediate threat passes.

So perhaps when assaulted by darkness it is better to go to church & become a saint rather than buy a cauldron.

I’m not sure. I am currently being assaulted by darkness so I will try the “Become a Saint” approach & let you know how it goes. If you don’t hear from me again, you will know it didn’t go well.

Adding black was not the answer.
Adding black was not the answer.
But what is the answer?
Becoming a saint.
Categories
Astrology Writings

Simple’s Guide to Saturn

There is one dangerous misconception regarding Saturn that must be corrected- that Saturn is a realistic planet.

Saturn is realistic in the sense that he is a hardworker who builds everything solid in our world. He understands the material plane and society’s structures. HOWEVER….

When left alone in his room, lying in bed and listening to music, no planet is more delusional. Because Saturn is meant to build castles on the earth, not castles in the sky. With Saturn’s energy locked in your head, you look at the future and see a graveyard. You look at yourself and see a loser. You are viewing life through a dark and distorted lens, not a realistic one.

Understanding Saturn’s delusional nature is the key to thriving during Saturn transits (or in general if he is heavily emphasized in your chart.) Once you realize something is a delusion it doesn’t have the same grip on you. And this is critical cause those who believe Saturn’s negative messaging can end up wallowing in self-absorbed misery and wasting this precious energy.

Because these same fumes that are toxic when they live in your head can be turned into diamonds by actually doing something in the real world. Your goal during Saturn transits is to turn something gaseous into something solid.

I will repeat for those of us who are female. The first and most important step during Saturn transits is to recognize that depressive perceptions are hallucinations. You are not the rotting skeleton you see in the mirror.

The second step is to get to work.

You need tangible goals during a Saturn transit. You need to become a more productive person in some area of your life. Just as you can feel a Saturn transit (depression) without ever looking at an astrology chart, so can you know exactly what you need to do without consulting an astrologer. Saturn is usually about doing the obvious. Taking steps towards achieving long term goals and resolving glaring life problems.

But if you are in a situation where there isn’t a clear course of action, then make one up. As long as you do some form of work, you will gain under Saturn.

Saturn on the moon for example, is frequently a time when people brood and get depressed. But why? Instead you should be working hard around your home and learning the skills to become a domestic goddess. Take a cooking class. Become a better cleaner. Beautify and fix things.

With Saturn impacting the Sun, don’t stay home because you aren’t in a party mood. Socialization, friends, self-expression, these are now things you need to work at. So exert yourself in this realm. Saturn’s work ethic can be applied to any arena of life bringing feelings of satisfaction and mastery which go way deeper than fun.

If you are a naturally depressive person who has trouble moving into action- or perhaps the transit is so grim you just need a booster- here are a few tips to consider.

  1. Make it official. All work is important work in Saturn’s eyes. So take yourself seriously no matter what you are doing. You might consider taking an official course or getting a certificate related to your goals. And when you get that certificate, frame it and go out with friends for a celebratory dinner. Have them make a toast to you. Take your efforts seriously.
  2. Be a joiner. Saturn is a man of this world and wants to contribute something. Saturn transits are not about you- they are about what you bring to the table. Don’t isolate. Especially if you struggle with motivation, join clubs and associations relevant to your goals and interests. And remember, no work is too trivial to take seriously. You could start a housekeeper’s association where ladies meet to share cleaning tips.
  3. Friends in high places. Saturn loves upward mobility. So especially when Saturn is transiting Venus or the social houses, make a list of people you admire and befriend them. Or a list of people it would be useful to know. While Saturn tends to dry up woozy romantic feelings, relationships with those you consider superiors can flourish under his watch. If you are having trouble with your spouse at this time (a common side effect) try social climbing or becoming pretentious together. It’s a time to strive, not a time to cuddle. Give Saturn a constructive outlet and he can improve everything he touches.
  4. Go gay. Saturn loves pomp & circumstance, so if you need a motivation boost try gaying it up. Bring your teacher a polished apple. Wear a beret to art class. Wear a chef’s outfit in the kitchen and pair wines with your meals, pronouncing them in French. Whatever you are doing, make it a little extra until it finally brings a smile to your face.
  5. Fire. I don’t know if this will work for others, but my go-to Saturn tip is surrounding myself with fire and warm colors like red, orange & yellow until I gain enough zip to start moving in the right direction. Saturn can feel dim and heavy so an extra dose of zing can be just what the doctor ordered.

One last thing… during a Saturn transit sources of support and comfort you once enjoyed may disappear. However, this is temporary so don’t panic. It is just Saturn’s way of forcing growth in new directions. Whatever you lose will return, just as it did for Job.

But for now, detach and swizzle from any losses. Forget about the doors which are closed and focus on those which are open. Saturn transits only last a few months to a few years so you want to seize the opportunities you currently have. If you don’t, for 28 years the results will haunt you.

The key takeaway from astrology is really that time itself is alive and always changing, infusing your life with new possibilities. It is safe to focus on the now because the future will open up soon enough. Open doors will close and closed doors will open.

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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Sky Blue, Ether, Flags, and Fairies Uncategorized Writings

Pluto in Aquarius: A Swarm of Butterflies

I’ve been wanting to write a post about Pluto in Aquarius for a while now, but have held back because I feel pressure to predict which dark & dismal events will occur since this is what astrologers are supposed to do. But my heart is being pulled in a different direction, possibly infected by Aquarius’s optimistic spirit already.

So I am going to give you 11 reasons why I am excited for Pluto to enter Aquarius this spring. We have really been buried alive by depressing Saturnine energy in recent years, which- combined with Neptune in Pisces- has created a insular culture where people spend their lives picking lint out of navels in the name of self-care then wondering why they are depressed and taking drugs to fix it.

But the age of drugs, nutrition & laziness is over. Aquarius brings a new player into the mix- your mind. We will focus less on what we are putting into the body and more on what our mind and spirit are putting out into the world. If someone is struggling we will consider their thoughts, beliefs, spirit & failure to circulate in the world as likely causes of the problem.

So anyway, here are 11 breaths of fresh air that Aquarius will bring to us. Start developing these qualities now & be ahead of the game this time.

  1. Optimism. Once upon a time we understood how a person’s attitude influenced their overall well-being and those days are back. Depression is no longer a chemical imbalance y’all. It is now the consequence of negative thoughts and beliefs. And what is anxiety? The absence of faith. And both are products of a self-absorbed spirit.

    Not only will we recognize the importance of our attitude, we will realize we have the power to transform it and then the sky becomes the limit.

  2. Selflessness. An obsessive focus on the self will come to be considered the cause of many problems. We gain lightness from remembering we are part of a whole. When we care for others as we care for ourselves our hearts open and burdens drop from our shoulders. Joy fills our lives.

  3. Faith. Faith in a higher power gives us wings. It elevates our spirits and once again burdens fall from us.

  4. Mind over matter. The material world may not be as objective as it seems. Rather than our psychological health having a physical basis, perhaps our physical health has a psychological one. We will come to see that what happens in our minds exercises a tremendous influence over all aspects of our life.

  5. Big Picture Thinking. In recent years our gaze kept shrinking inward. Only focus on the present moment! Only focus on the feeling of your breath against the back of your throat! We called this meditation & mindfulness.

    But what if we did the opposite and expanded our awareness so that it included the future, all of time, all beings, everywhere, everything?! The goal of Aquarius is to see the largest panoramic view of which a human is capable. Why must we limit ourselves to the present? What if we stretch our mind 10,000 years into the future or view life from the perspective of all eternity? What if we soar above our present feelings and instead feel our oneness with everything that exists? How would this change our perspective and our choices?

    Expanse brings exhilaration. The future brings brightness to the present.

  6. Dreaming. As our minds open, we begin to dream. When we have faith in God and faith in the power of our minds we begin to believe in our dreams. When we feel our oneness with others we know that we share a dream and all work together towards it. And we have all of eternity for dreams to come true. With so much spiritual power, time, and friends on our side, our dreams will certainly become realities.

  7. Get out of bed & leave the house. When we were focused on our feelings, home was the place we were safe. But now we are looking for God, striving for the future, seeking exhilaration. None of this can happen in a bathtub. The emotional comfort of curling into a ball will pale next to the feeling of openness and possibility we get from charging out into the world to face the unknown.

    (In recent years, people probably would have tried to seek God in a bathtub. However, our concept of God is about to change. He is no longer that cozy feeling in your chest, but a humongous, awe inspiring presence, jaw dropping in scope. We find him through faith and opening to the world, not retreat.)

  8. Fun & Laughter. While these are not goals that Aquarius seeks, they are by-products of the lightened spirit & open heart he brings.

  9. Inspiration. In recent years, people became obsessed with facts, research, experts, education and science. All thoughts needed footnotes in order to count. But with Aquarius ideas can just pop into your head from the blue. We can think thoughts that no one has ever thought before.

  10. Friends, friends & more friends. Friends will be everything. They are the wind beneath our winds. They bring joy to our heart. We will form brotherhoods & lesbian fellowships that span the globe, singing and holding hands. We will bounce out of the house eager to say hi to new and old acquaintances. In past years, friends were outside the self, and therefore a potential threat to our comfort. 99% of humans came to see themselves as introverts.

    But from an Aquarian perspective these people are pieces of our spirit and share our same spiritual destiny. We are the original friends who have been together since time began and will be here when time has ended. Friends are part of us. Saying hi to them is saying hi to a little piece of ourselves. We are all one.

  11. Birds, butterflies, balloons, airplanes, angels & everything that flies. Including the sky and God. All these things come more into play. Please forget that this is Pluto entering Aquarius and don’t worry about how scary he can be. Just imagine butterflies flying everywhere, as far as the eye can see in every direction. This is the future.
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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia My Life Story Writings

The Grapes of Practicality

I can’t even tell you what this last astrological storm has been like. For my husband, who deals- by his own choice- with 100% of life’s practical matters it has been one disaster after another, bordering on the catastrophic. It is a level 6 hurricane and we are still huddled inside the house waiting to see what happens. Will we be crushed alive screaming in pain as the life slowly slips from our eyes? (Channeling my father now.) Time will tell.

For me, however, it has been a time of empowermints as though the threat of ruin has given me wings. I’ve managed to do things I thought I was incapable of doing. And it’s been really fun. Where do I begin? I figured out how to open a bank account. I figured out how to ride a bus. I figured out how to get a library card. I figured out how to put buttons on my site encouraging you to slide me bits of money under the table. I figured out how to fill out government forms. I learned what bills are and some of the things you can do with them. I figured out how to set up an ebay account and sell things. A book has sold, so tomorrow I will figure out how to buy packing supplies and use the post office. It’s almost like I’ve figured out how to figure things. I see a problem and muscles start to move in my head. A lightbulb has gone on.

I’ve always felt so helpless. I don’t know why. I would just stare at practical things unable to comprehend what they were and how I should respond. It made me feel ashamed because I assumed people would believe I was being intentionally pathetic as a way of forcing them to help me. So I never asked for help and lived within my limitations.

Now that has changed. I spent the whole bus ride asking the driver practical questions on how busses work. I asked the librarians practical matters about other buildings located downtown. Every person I meet, I try to extract as much practical info from them as I can without seeming weird.

After about 5 days of pure practicality however today I hit a wall and was unable to move. Do you think the more practical you become, the heavier you get until eventually you can’t move at all? Could this be God’s way of keeping humans from becoming so practical we can interfere with his plans? Can this practicality streak continue, or is it just a temporary spike from which I will once again descend into a pool of helplessness?

I don’t know. My thoughts on practicality are two-fold. On the one hand, it is just practical to be practical. It gives you more options in the practical realms. On the other hand, the weird part is, despite the limitations in my life caused by impracticality, I feel free. Like my life has meaning. I’ve been talking to a lot of people recently. Some seem to go so far as to feel that if you don’t have your own bank account and car you aren’t really alive. I don’t feel that way. I think a person (but hopefully not me) can live just as meaningful an existence from a prison or mental institution as they can driving around in a pickup truck & taking yearly vacations.

It may be that these wings of practicality are paper wings that won’t last forever. After all- at least according to astrology- my life’s purpose is in the House of Imprisonment and Mental Institutions. I like to think that is metaphorical, meaning I find my true wings from looking within myself.

Oh! A practical idea just occurred to me! Would you like to know what your life purpose is and where you can find your wings? If so, slip me some sweet sweet money and I’ll tell you. Money is the first principle of Practicality, the principle upon which all other principles depend. In fact, it will probably be my success or failure in gaining money that will determine if this practical streak continues, or if my library card just sits rotting in my new wallet as the light slowly fades from his eyes….

P.S. My Dad. When I was a kid he loved to tell me about people dying and crying and screaming in agony as the awareness of impending doom entered their mind. He also liked to sing me songs about puppies being ground into sausage as he was putting me to sleep and then he would rock me as I cried in horror.

That is how a person becomes a Scorpio.

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Another Storm…

Well the last astrological storm was as bad as predicted with all those special 8th house touches- sluts, crime, violence, financial catastrophe, etc. I survived although I’m now unable to walk since I kicked a door in a fit of rage.

This is not typical for me. (Well once I did shatter a glass candle.) But pressure was building. Two days earlier I spontaneously set a pair of underwear on fire. Please don’t judge. The planets can bring anyone to this point.

Anyway, the bad part is another storm is beginning now. Through around the first week of August. And unlike the last one, this storm may impact YOU- especially if you’re already dealing with Uranus transits (this may be the case if your life feels crazy and erratic.)

Basically Mars, Uranus & the North Node all join together in the sky. So for those having Uranus transits, this is when the earthquake cracks a nuclear power plant. But maybe it will be great, who knows? Perhaps you’ve been trapped in a prison, the walls break free and you start running.

The point of this transit is to supply you with extra energy to transform those areas of your life which feel stagnant and oppressive. To help you be more alive, independent, & free. To help you become more real.

There are a couple pitfalls you want to avoid however.

  1. DO NOT suppress yourself. (This was my mistake.) If you are sitting on a pressure cooker it will find a way to blow. Take a stand even if it causes some friction. If you can’t take a stand, do whatever you can to let off steam. Exercise, do physical labor, act crazy on social media, etc. Don’t hold things inside. Find people you can spill your guts to.
  2. DO NOT give yourself permission to be stupid and destructive. This is the other extreme people go to. You have to find a meaningful way to create change & freedom in your life. Yelling at your boss, attacking your spouse & snorting a line of sluts will likely make matters worse.

    So THINK for once. Come up with a meaningful way to break out of your rut. Don’t destroy the things you need and value. Don’t flush the baby with the bathwater.

And keep in mind this transit may be about things happening TO you. Explosions most likely. The same advice still applies. Be bold. Be brave. Don’t be a dumbass. Find ways to release pressure. Look for opportunities to gain freedom. And above all, to thine own self be true.

Two rows of corn flanking the walkway to our house. I have strong feelings about corn, as I do for all the Staffs of Life who modern people so disrespectfully call “Carbs.”








Technically the st

Categories
Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Jupiter is Idealism

Big Stuff is one of the Giants I wrote about in an earlier post. But he looks pretty Jupiterian to me, so I will place him here.

When you are a child you desire to be awesome- to have exceptional abilities that make you shine to those around you. Growing up is about realizing that no one wants to watch you shine. It’s annoying. What people want is for you to add value to their lives. What society wants is for you to add value to society.

Enter Jupiter. In traditional astrology, he is the bringer of wisdom, luck & riches. In modern astrology, he is frequently associated with weight gain, overspending & all forms of excess.

If I had to sum up Jupiter in one word, I would call him Idealism. He is the first planet who causes us to look beyond our personal goals to see how we can benefit the world around us. And as we become *for others* others become for us. They now have a motivation to help us. Society now has a motivation to reward us. People can open doors for us which we could never have opened for ourselves. This is luck. People invest in us and introduce us to new ideas & ways of seeing things. And so our world begins to expand.

But will our waistline expand as well? Possibly yes, but not because Jupiter is a pleasure seeking lush. In my opinion, every planet is a correcting force to the planet preceeding it. The Sun is hot and the Moon cools it. The moon is mushy but mercury is crisp. Mercury is too mental so Venus opens the heart. Venus is weak so Mars is strong-willed. Mars is shielded and independent, focusing on enemies and threats. So Jupiter opens up, to see the good in the world and also the good that COULD be in the world. You will never hear Jupiter say that humans suck. He fucking LOVES humanity.

But this new openness and love for the world naturally leads to a softening of personal boundaries and willpower. Jupiter will eat more, drink more and buy more just because he is more in touch with the goodness around him and lacks the will to resist. His personal bank account is not the most important thing to Jupiter anyway. He is externally focused. Just as the moon focuses on children and Venus focuses on her boyfriend, Jupiter focuses on society, seeing it through a doting golden glaze. He is the true believer in humanity’s potential and this excites him more than personal glory or owning buns of steel. His mind and emotions are mixed up and swirled with the world around him. If this goes too far of course, his generous optimistic spirit can be his undoing, which is why he is followed by the correcting force of hard & crusty Saturn.

And I believe Jupiter’s altruism is responsible for the high spirits he is known for. Our personal cares often dissolve when we develop an outer focus and fall in love with something beyond our self. Jupiter is about falling in love with our human tribe or even humanity. The world becomes brighter, more interesting, filled with meaning and purpose. Suddenly we matter because there are always things we can do to benefit and romance our new love interest. This does not necessarily mean we will be volunteer at a soup kitchen however. Depending on the sign and placement of Jupiter, this altruism can take many forms. Maybe we are Batman and do the dark works no one else has the stomach for. Maybe we are a clown working at a gas station, bringing a laugh to all the customers. We could be a writer, a hater, a bragger or a dancer. It isn’t the actions themselves which are Jupiterian but the motivation behind them. Jupiter’s motivation is to give to humanity. Idealism.

My Jupiter is in Aries for example, so at times when I am overtaken by altruism I become more fiery & belligerent than my normal personality. Almost as though our idealistic self is a genie kept in a bottle, a separate spirit who can possess us and provoke us into action our regular self would not take. My idealistic self tries to place myself in the line of fire in the hopes of taking a few bullets for humanity. Perhaps since I am cowardly by nature, being brave seems like the most idealistic thing I can do. I can only be brave though when this spirit overtakes me. A spirit of gratitude and awe for everyone and everything that has gone before. We all have this spirit and you can see its presence marbled throughout history when over and over again people devote and sometimes sacrifice themselves to transform the world for the better. It’s beautiful.

And in you this spirit, this altruism, may take any form. You may become maternal and start baking everyone muffins. Maybe you give hand jobs while expecting nothing in return. Lock yourself in your tool shed until you invent a better pencil. Or perhaps just lie on your sofa and dream new dreams that will one day come true for all of us.


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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia men Writings

James’s Slut Transit (Pluto opposite Venus)

One cool thing about astrology is you get so caught up in the symbolism that by the time you catch your husband in bed with a dwarf you are practically happy about it.

Oh my god- this is perfect! The dwarf had red hair! They were doing anal!! Can you think of anything better for Uranus in Aries?!?

The past year or so James (husband) has been having a transit which is supposed to make men irrationally attracted to skanky hoes who express something of their own repressed sexuality.

Since I had been majorly shook by a number of transits in the past 10 years, I wasn’t in the mood for the stars to defeat me again. I decided to take the bull by the horns and announce that he was entering a slut transit on facebook. (Sometimes I imagine that telling enough people about something BEFORE it happens will magically keep it from occurring.) And every day since then, I’ve asked him “So have you felt attracted to any skanks yet? Any nasty hoes caught your eye?” Occasionally I will drop a reminder that anyone he likes during this time probably has a cocktail of STDs as well, which is true. (Unless they have a prison record or are a geologist.)

And so far, I have not sensed any attraction to cumdumpsters. This transit (Pluto opposite Venus) has to work through the unconscious. If the idea of sexual obsession with Jezebels is put into the forefront of his mind and linked to a transit, it makes it harder for the dark magic to occur.

So yay, I outsmarted the stars.

Still it’s almost hard not to feel disappointed that the transit didn’t go as planned. All his other transits- in which I did not interfere- were textbook. But this time I prepared myself, made public announcements and now he is basically standing me up at the altar. I had mentally set aside a couple years of life to wage this war on skanks and now there are no skanks in sight. Never a quitter, I eventually started encouraging him. Why don’t you friend some skanks on facebook? Maybe you’d enjoy a trip to the gentlemen’s club? But no. Being a slut because your wife wants you to isn’t Pluto’s way. The taboo is what arouses him. He wants to defy people’s expectations to show them- and himself- that he can’t be controlled. He wants to do something which will make others hate him or cause him to hate himself.

But why, Pluto, why?

For starters, Pluto is the planet of intensity. Sometimes we cut off so much from our darker self that we just start to feel less alive. Sometimes a journey to the dark side is just what it takes to tap into deeper wells of life and emotion. Feeling negative emotions can be preferable to feeling nothing at all.

Secondly, Pluto goes dark to gain power. Nice guys finish last. Pluto crosses lines other people aren’t willing to cross and reaps the rewards. During Pluto transits he challenges us to question our own boundaries. Are we willing to sacrifice one pound of goodness to gain 5 pounds of power? Are we willing to push our neighbor in front of a train to save a bus full of children? Many times, during Pluto transits, we realize we are.

Thirdly, Pluto does bad things to create boundaries. To show himself (and sometimes others) that he can’t be controlled. That there are no rules for him and only his own will reigns supreme.

Lastly, Pluto trespasses to expand his mind. On one level, Pluto is really about the ability to have our own mind which can function independently from the group. People with pronounced Pluto in their chart frequently seem normal on the surface, but deep in their mind is a sort of existential autonomy that the average person lacks. They see life through their own eyes and don’t need social support to trust their own perceptions. So during Pluto transits we want to question the rules we have previously taken for granted. We want to gain psychic & psychological freedom.

* * *

Basically, Pluto is our reptilian mind. It likes to operate in darkness, secretly controlling our behavior while our conscious mind is busy attributing shinier motives to ourselves. Pluto shrinks away when the light is shining directly on him. He does not want the whole world watching him, waiting for him to get an astrologically sanctioned boner.

Still, I have read enough Greek myths to know what happens to those who brag about outsmarting the fates. And there is still a year left of this transit to go. So we’ll see what happens. Maybe whores will end up having the last laugh. Just like they always do.



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Astrology Charleston, West Virginia Writings

Hi Again

(Warning- slight reference to astrology. Does this bother people who know nothing about astrology? Personally, I never mind a few indigestible references, but I don’t know if others- especially men- feel the same.)

I haven’t been able to express anything in a while. I’ve written about 50 blog posts but have not been able to publish any of them due to this feeling that everything I say is completely pointless. So, I thought maybe I would take some time off to become more presidential & then go back to expressing myself.

Last night though I realized this reluctance to speak wasn’t about a true desire to resemble Nixon but rather a clamming up in response to a recent spike of low level enemies. For starters, Mars Bringer of War had been moving through my House of Relationships and when this happens you tend to experience death by a thousand cuts. Minor hostility directed at you from multiple directions. No single event worth crying over and yet the sum leaves you feeling demoralized, as though no good people exist. And as I’ve said before, faith in people, the dream that good people exist, is the force that pulls the words out of your mouth. Without that the words stay stuck inside.

Also, Pluto has been sextiling my sun. When Pluto sextiles* a planet, it basically releases a stream of mini enemies in that planet’s direction. These minis teach you how to fight & stand up for yourself so when the biggie transits happen, you are be ready.

Plutonic enemies are different from Martian ones. Martians attack fast and furious, shooting you in the knees, elbows, wherever. Plutonic enemies study you to find your kill spots. Then they execute the most subtle blow necessary to inflict true damage while appearing not to do anything at all. They do not want to be seen covered in blood and guts. They want to be seen as your friend. An understanding of your insecurities is essential to them. So you could see why the presence of Plutonic enemies would make you uninclined to blog about your inner self. They make you want to close off. Obscure. Misdirect.

And they were attacking me in a different way from usual. Normally, the attacks I get are “You’re dumb. You’re dumb. You’re dumb.” Recently it has been people sending me messages about how I’m a horrible singer, criticizing my videos, my blog, saying I’m a bad wife & leaving weird stuff on my doorstep. And other stuff which I can’t go into without seeming paranoid. That is the weird paradox of life- that you have to lie to seem truthful & if you try to be truthful you seem like a liar.

So anyway, like I said, the sextile releases baby enemies. What are baby enemies? They are enemies who you clearly have the power to defeat. The trick is, you might convince yourself they are too small to be worth defeating. You are a big boy. You can shrug it off. But this is big boy’s big mistake. When something is small, that may be the only chance you have to squash it. Once problems get bigger than you are, your chance of success goes down considerably.

So I prefer to over-analyze the heck out of the tiniest of things. It is probably natural for women to do this, though we are sometimes mocked for it. But if people understand how the female mind works they will realize we are humanity’s first line of defense. Your current problems would probably not exist had you listened to your wife. Once the problems do become full grown gorillas then women tend to take a step back and let men do their thing.

***

While I was busy not expressing myself, I did have the chance to go on a learning spree. But let me say here that I am not a huge advocate of learning. I think people are too obsessed with it and overlook more important mental activities like thinking. Still, I do consider myself 15% scholar and like to learn the life stories of those who came before. I like history. My only problem is that it focuses so much on politics and war. I want to know- I NEED to know- what people ate for breakfast. Were their hankerchiefs embroidered? With what kind of flower? Why that one? What perfume did they wear? Did they match their perfume to their hankerchief? These are my obsessions, the little details that cue me in to what was really going on in their minds, but it is hard to find that sort of info. Cause history trumps herstory, right? Once again we are encouraged to look at the big things and overlook the small ones.



* A sextile is basically the softest bump one planet gives another as it circles round your chart. To put it more technically, it is when the current position of a planet is 60 degrees away from the position of a planet in your birth chart, inside the ring of the zodiac.