This is a story about a little man the Pine Fairy notices is stuck to the side of one of his mason jars, just as he was about to clean it. Instead, he is able to set the little guy free to begin a new life and possibly start a new family. He is happy to learn the small fairy’s story. Although tragic from our perspective, the tiny fairy has a detached perspective on all he has experienced and sees it as part of a greater picture that is still unfolding.

What kind of fairy is the small man? I am not sure. Considering I ate paw paws and cornbread before sleeping and heard this song during the night, a baby corn fairy or a paw paw fairy would be my top choices. Probably corn, because corn fairies seem to have a detached, inhuman nature that is very accepting of death and are frequently engaged in emotionless violence.

*

 

My daddy he was a woodworking man and he had six fine sons to share his name.
Three were big and three were small, but still my father loved us all the same.

He bounced the big ones on his knee and the little ones he placed in a candy dish.
He said the big ones would be his pride and the little ones they would grant his final wish.

Many of the Brothers were sent to fight a war. Other of the brothers were left within a jar.

One days when we were fourteen, cannonballs and bullets filled the sky.
Daddy packed up three sandwiches and kissed the three large brothers all goodbye.

He said, “Now you must remember sons, that there will come a day when life is done for all.
What matters most is you must not cry, just stand up straight and look death in the eye, real tall.”

Many of the Brothers were sent to fight a war. Other of the brothers were left within a jar.

We watched the brothers vanish in the distance as dad held us in his hand.
He said, “I love you my small sons, now it’s time to grant a wish for your old man.”

Then he dropped us all in a mason jar and he shook us hard until two of us had died.
Then he fell on the floor and shook as though his wires had all been shattered from inside.

Then he quivered till he grew real still and I knew that the only brother left was me;
Just one tiny seed remained from what had once been a big family.

Many of the brothers were sent to fight a war. Other of the brothers were left within a jar.
I was of the brothers left within a jar.

 

Download MP3: Brothers

 

 

 

 

Bye bye to broken trees that kept me from the storm
Branches safe and warm
Goodbye to leaves and sky

Bye bye to solid stones that pressed me to the ground
It was there I heard the sound
I thought the earth was burning, I

Started pushing through the trees and
Through the sticky arms of reason
When all this time I knew I needed something

Goodbye it’s time to go and touch the fire from down below
I see the red door opening now follow follow
Goodbye no time to cry no time to think or wonder why
I see the red door opening now follow follow

Bye bye to baby birds who sang to me in breeze
You taught me what was feasible
Between the earth and sky

Singing to me as I slept upon the forest floor
It was there I found a door
Beneath the gold pine needles, I

Started burning with a fever
Shaking like a true believer
When all this time I knew I needed something

Goodbye it’s time to go and touch the fire from down below
I see the red door opening now follow follow
Goodbye no time to cry no think or wonder why
I see the red door opening now follow follow

My friend we meet again
It’s no beginning nor the end
It’s just a step outside of everything that matters

One step outside of the home
Into the middle of the bone
Where all reddest blood is grown and splattered splattered

Push through all the trees don’t never listen what they say
You know they’ll hate you anyway
And yet their day is coming

Tip tap the fire until it rises like a plume
Then you’ll feel the tongues consume
Just like you’re running running

Spinning fast I wasn’t only
Burning up among the lonely
When all this time I knew I needed something

Goodbye it’s time to go and touch the fire from down below
I see the red door opening now follow follow
Goodbye no time to cry no time to think or wonder why
I see the red door opening now follow follow

 

Download MP3: The Red Door

 

Finally, a much needed song in which the King of the South defeats the King of the North in battle, or plans to anyway.

To live in a real life Stuffington’s Hall is a fantasy I dream of day and night- the coziest, stuffiest and most pompous home in the world, decorated mostly in shades of brown, filled with leather bound libraries, stone fireplaces, gleaming wood antiques owned by former presidents, and dark paintings of grumpy looking men framed in gold leaf. Or glorious paintings of triumphant generals crushing their enemies in battle.

 

 

Stuffington's Hall

Men, we will stand at the top of this hill;
when we see them approach, we will swoop
down and kill them. Their blood on our
hands, we will lift them up high as
the sparkling sun beams down from the sky.

Yankees they work hard, them Yankees they try,
but November the 1st is the day that they die.
Bless their sweet little hearts; rockaby
in the grave. We will fight for the flame;
and the flame we will save.

We are fire; they are ice-
they will chill us no more.
We will bury their bodies beneath
the dance floor of Stuffington’s Hall.
Please won’t you come, come to the ball?

Now there are two kings-
there can be but one.
He is King of the Ice; I am King of the Sun.
He is sleek and so young; I dumpy and old.
He has made it clear he wants my story to never be told.

From my leather bound books, he would
smudge out the ink with his fingers in gloves
made of synthetic mink. Though his men are alright (and
they’re armed to the gills), we know God is with us-
trapped in the nook of our frills.

So don your gray lace ladies,
don your silk hats.
Twirl round the fruit punch that bubbles in vats.
Tweet, tweet so high-
puffing like cotton upon our blue sky.

We are joy;
they are tears.
We are hopes;
they are fears.
It is us who predates them by hundreds of years.

Old fingers, bold fingers, gold fingers- me!
I am the ruler of all that I see. And I see stars
languishing behind their cold metal bars.

Old fingers, gold fingers, bold fingers- wait!
Til they reach the valley, then don’t hesitate-
swooping down in a wall, and then
join me for a dance in Stuffington’s Hall.

 

Download MP3: Stuffington’s Hall

Truly Old

11 Aug
0

Truly Old

Pink and green, all alone
Guess you never really had a home.
Circles form, fires shine
You alone stand behind

To learn the ways
To burn the pain away
To find the gold
For you alone are truly old.

Chicken leg, gnaw the bone
Make your bed curled against a stone.
Circles form, fires shine
You alone are left behind

To see through things
To learn from bearded kings
To find the gold
For you alone are truly old.

Morning gold, wake in dew
Little bugs fly all over you.
Tiny bugs, tiny wings
In the end, you are a friend to things.

To feel
To know what’s really real
To touch the shine
Another world is left behind.

Fires shine, do not go
Never circle round their glow.
Fires shine in the night
Independent of their light

You alone are truly old
You alone are truly old
You alone are truly old
You alone are truly old.

 

Download MP3: Truly Old

Shiny Soldiers

21 Jul
0

 

This is a song about the gray fairies who are responsible for recording everything that occurs so that Justice can be doled out in the correct proportions at a later time.

 

Shiny Soldiers

 

Big city ways
Everyone is gay
Try to find a way to shine

Living in the night
Everything is right
If you keep a spinning mind

Big man brown
Knock me to the ground
No one was around to hear

Furry furry man
Spitting on his hand
The only thing I knew was fear

Slide away
Shiny soldiers follow me
Eyes of gray peering from around the trees

Tiny spines so straight
They watch, they wait
Slide away.

Slime slime boom
Big city room
All the grown ups want to play

Big black night
Dancing in the dim light
Meeting creeps in the alleyway

Big man blue
Swinging with his shoe
No one was around to hear

Big city ways
Wanting to get paid
The only thing I knew was fear

Slide away
Shiny soldiers follow me
Eyes of gray peering from around the trees

Tiny boots, they glow
They see, they know
Slide away.

Gray gay white
Everything is right
Long as we don’t have to know

Plus the truth might lie
And one day we’re gonna die
So we better let the good times flow

Big black hole
Sliding down a pole
That was the only world I could hear

Black man bite
Crawling in the moonlight
Watching all the blood appear

Slide away
Shiny soldiers follow me
Eyes of gray peering from behind the trees.

They will dig, record
Then even scores
Slide away.

 

Download MP3: Shiny Soldiers

Red Rum

16 Jun
0

 

Red Rum

 

 

The sky it will fill with red
Water pours over our head
As our voices rise up and they mingle with those of the dead.

The sun watches from far away
Today will be his longest day
As we line up his sons and he watches us blow them away.

Follow me, crowds
Hear the screams so loud
Pouring like blood from the mouths of the proud.

“Red Rum!” we cry
Red Rum, we are willing to die
But promise us an eye for an eye.

Red blood you’ll flow
Through the streets of the world I know
But today don’t ask for me to go.

The sky it will fill with cries
Water pours into our eyes
As we raise up our voices and scream “Down with their lies!”

The flags how they shriek and fly
I gaze over my shoulder into your eye
And every five seconds I tell you goodbye.

Because I know death
He was there on the street where we met
And the way that he watched I knew he wouldn’t forget.

“Red Rum!” I cry
Red Rum, I am willing to die
But I need you to promise an eye for an eye.

There will be no more tears for now
Nobody knows what we have lost anyhow
We will not look back, the past is a fading cloud.

We’ll line them up against the wall
Today it will be the proud ones who fall
Ready and fire; we won’t falter at all.

Because we know pain
Falling down all around us like rain
And we never forget who to blame.

“Red Rum!” we cry
Red Rum, we are willing to die
But promise us an eye for an eye.

 

Download MP3: Red Rum

Toy Horses

8 Mar
0

 

Placing the helm on my headToy Horses
I see the clouds up ahead
Please let me ride.
Please let me ride.

Holding an egg in my hand
I fear the battle at hand
Don’t let me die.
Don’t let me die.

Raise your flags, men
On toy horses we ride
Life, like a dream
Stretched forever into the blue sky.

Twenty-one days to the shore
A trip to the well will add seven days mores
Time to cry.
A time to cry.

Dipping my head in the well
I hear their pink voices clanging like bells
If you want to be forgiven
You must leave us a pink ribbon.

Why do I need to be forgiven? you ask of me
Twelve years ago I deserted my company
This led to the death of three men who depended on me.

But my life overwhelmed me
It seemed so absurd
To die when the meaning of
Life was still blurred.

But now I can see that survival is vain
When death is the trophy of gold that all souls seek to gain!

Now we will ride to shore
Mermaids and seashells will witness our war
We are high
For tomorrow we die.

Horses scratch their hoofs on the checkerboard grass
War frees the soul from its vessel of glass
We are high
For tomorrow we die.

 

Download MP3: Toy Horses

 

He thought there must be some lines in the earth he could follow,
Hidden by snow, but he’d possibly find them in spring.
A grid made of brown that would lead to the crown of tomorrow…

Hail to the rose!
Hail to the sky!
Teach me to live;
Teach me to die.

In the snow it was cold but some hope filled his body;
Golden liquid that quickened the fire in his brain.
He had a theory the earth was surrounded by knowledge;
A shimmering library accessed by unbearable pain.

When I close my eyes- Ah!
Like a flame through my fingers it burns, like a fire through my heart.
When I close my eyes- No!
It eludes me a pain in my shoulders, a dimming echo.

Hail to the rose!
Hail to the sky!
Teach me to live,
Teach me to die.

His blue eyes scanned the skies though he knew they were empty;
Only fools look for schools where the airy birds fly.
Something told him the brown of the ground held the answers;
His desire for the fire left him willing to die.

Won’t you take me inside of your library
Prepared to hurt, lay my screams in your dirt?
Won’t you take me inside of your library
Prepared to bleed for the answers I need?

Hail to the rose!
Hail to the sky!
Teach me to live,
Teach me to die.

 

Download MP3: The Brown Library

The Golden Ring

21 Dec
0

 

1.
Up and down the stairs I ranCamels
with a scepter in my hand
How to chase the doubts out from my mind?

When the only life I’ve ever known
is to strive for absolute control
and to pull on every string that I could find

To my talismans I cling
I am scared of everything
He knew one day he’d grab the golden ring

2.
On my back I saw the stars
I remembered fireflies in their jars
How to pull the fire out from the flame?

Can I make the bad ones fall and
crush them into pieces small
and somehow extricate myself from blame?

In my ears are bells that ring
I will conquer everything
He knew one day he’d grab the golden ring

3.
Ladies dance and ladies sing
they toss their hair; they wear a ring
they don’t amount to anything I’m sure

But I will cut each finger tip
with stony eyes I’ll watch them drip
I’ll stand in puddles red upon the floor

Are there wise men- I don’t know
I grow the way that flowers grow
spreading from their center like a star

I made my bed, I lie in pain
it cools the fever from my brain
but my seeds upon the wind will travel far

Sing the song that roses sing
do not believe in anything
He knew one day he’d grab the golden ring

4.
On my back I saw the stars
they spread out wide they were my arms
the burning flames that sparkled were my hands

I held my hands up to my face
I gazed into that burning place
so many bright things I could understand

I sing the song that roses sing
I will see through everything
He knew one day he’d grab the golden ring

 

Download MP3: The Golden Ring

Candy Cane Lane

19 Nov
0

In my last post I wrote about how I need to begin expressing myself more for the sake of my own life. But, you may be wondering, from where will I get the discipline to follow through on this commitment, especially when it is something I am so afraid of? That is easy, I will buy the discipline from Yankee Candle.

I used to laugh at the people who shopped at Yankee Candle, taking $30 they probably needed for their electric bill to buy a giant “Home Sweet Home” candle, and another $25 dollars to buy a candle cozy shaped like an English Cottage. It seemed to me that they were probably buying overpriced candles to compensate for a lack of love in some part of their life. But I have changed my mind, and while I do still think that Yankee Candles generally serve as a love substitute, I no longer think this is pathetic. After all, who doesn’t need a little bit of extra love in their life? Nor do I think the use of love substitutes is dumb. After all, we all know that when a baby animal is taken away from its mother, it must  be given a stuffed animal to snuggle with, or it will probably die. Love substitutes are real, effective, and not beneath anyone’s dignity. We all need love, but we can’t always control whether or not we are receiving it. Which is where Yankee Candles come into play- to fill up the holes in our chest with colorful, scented fire power, so that we have enough warmth to make it through another day without needing to shut down chambers in our heart.

Candy CanesAs far as I can tell, Yankee Candles don’t smell better than less expensive candles; what I love about them is the glamour the store casts around their candles, elevating them from meaningless trifles to the most important aspect of your life! They do this partially through their elevated prices, but also through the candle accessories they sell, and the instructions they give you on the proper way to burn and care for a candle. They just make scented candles seem so darned important, which I think acts- especially to women- as a subconscious symbol that their emotional needs and desires for love are important. When you tend to your Yankee Candle, you are- through the powers of transubstantiation- tending to your own heart.

So yesterday I went to Yankee Candle to choose a candle that would symbolize the commitment to express myself. I selected Candy Cane Lane, a red candle, since red represents the courage to be true to yourself. I thought peppermint candy would be a good scent, since it combines the sugary sweetness of the heart with the minty freshness of the brain. I will burn it for four hours at a time, just as my candle consultant taught me. She warned me to never blow out my candle until the wax has melted all the way to the very edge. Otherwise the candle will start tunneling, and once the tunneling process has begun it can be difficult and costly to reverse. My candle consultant also sold me a gold Illuma-lid candle topper to maximize scent throw, and a wick trimmer to ensure that my wick stays 1/4 inch between lightings. So what if I can’t afford a warm coat or shoes for the season?

Just think about it- fire has been one of mankind’s best friends since the very beginning! Many believe it is precisely fire (learning how to cook with it) that caused humans to evolved differently from other animals. Cooking with fire enabled us to absorb more calories more efficiently, while reducing the work load on our stomachs. This enabled us to invest the extra energy into growing our brains. Without cooked meals, we would have weaker brains and stronger stomachs.

So couldn’t a bit of fire do the same thing for our hearts? Predigest for us some of the more difficult feelings, like loneliness and despair, while giving us a boost of warmth and light? Then we would need to spend less energy filling up the empty places inside. What part of us would receive that freed-up energy? My guess is the energy might be spent in fulfilling our purposes. I think once are heart are filled up on the inside they begin radiating light and warmth outwards into the world.

Maybe next time I go to the mall, I will pick up a candle cozy as well… perhaps the limited edition Christmas Teddy being crushed between two plush hearts.

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